It was wonderful to hear from you guys. I have read all of your posts and it seems like most of you are doing pretty well.
I had yet another terrible relapse. I played many games this time and spent almost every hour of the day on gaming. Sigh.
Mc Phee, I think your advice is correct. I will change my signature now. Sometimes, we do have to swallow our pride and admit the fact that we will fail again. The important thing is to stand up tall again everytime we do.
No plan to game at this moment. 4:08 am (Tuesday - 11/08/2015) Plan for tomorrow: already made. Must promise not to stress myself out!
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Maxi
13 years since first started gaming (2002 - 2015)
Reborn on July 29th, 2015.
Maxi, glad you are back and still in the fight. I wouldn't plan to fail, but I would accept that if it has happened that you've had a relapse, it's a normal part of quitting. What you do now is just quit again. Do it a day at a time. Every day you don't game is a good one. Let tomorrow take care of itself. You can't do anything about it now anyway. Hang in there!
Sven, great work! congrats on the 100 days!
Wazzapp, well done getting through the stressful period without gaming.
I'm okay. Visiting my mom. No plans to game today.
Yes, stress is definately a huge trigger, relaxation is an art.
Working on step 2, perhaps time for a sponsor.
My day has been great. I had no idea being game-free would make such a profound difference in my life, not only in my outer-world (work, relationships, hobbies) but most importantly: my inner-world (the feeling in my body, the quality of my thoughts)
Minimized screen-time a lot in the past few days after getting inspired by this post http://www.olganon.org/forum/open-general-discussion/what-worked-jacob-s
No plans to game today
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Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3
wazzapp, yes, minimizing screen time is a good way to go. It's hard to game when you aren't in front of a computer or console. I spend hours a day in front of a computer for work, but somehow have gotten past the temptation to game. I may surf aimlessly a bit, but I'm not interested in going back to spending all my time in a virtual fantasy land. Not a good way to go, based on my extensive personal research experience.
I'm okay today. My son is heading out tomorrow after a long visit that has been great. I visited my 83-year-old mother over the weekend and that was also great. Here's hoping all this greatness continues. If it doesn't, it's been a good ride. Thanks for your help. No plans to game today.
wazzapp, good job! A lot of people get great benefit from meditation. I've never done it consistently over a long period of time, but it seems like a very worthwhile activity. I'm glad you're doing it and staying away from the gaming.
I'm okay here. My son leaves today after several days with me. It's been great. He is an admirable and enjoyable young man and I feel fortunate and privileged to have gotten to spend some time with him. He plays a lot of computer games, but I think he'll be able to put them down if he has to. He has other interests, notably soccer, that keep him rooted in reality. Anyway, I'm only responsible for my life and choices, and I'm glad I've been choosing the last several months not to game. It's been much, much better living without gaming than it was when I was spending many hours a day buried in a screen and virtual world, neglecting my important real-life duties and misleading others or outright lying about what I was really doing with my time. That is not a happy way to live. No plans to game today. Thanks for your help with that.
I went to GA today. Talked to them about the steps, but they don't have a 12step program (at that GA in my city). Think i'm gonna check out NA instead. I feel stressed, irritated, restless, after the GA meeting, im not sure why. Could be a million reasons. However, i try not to indulge in it, bad days is part of life hehe..
I will not game today, just for today
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Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3
wazzapp, I admire your persistence and flexibility in seeking a good place to get help. It's not always easy or fast. Sometimes we have to keep trying and looking to find a way to get out of the mess we have gotten ourselves in. But it can be done and you are doing it. Sweet!
I am okay. No gaming or plans to. Thanks to all for your help with that.
I went to NA today, best thing i did since forever. Got my 30 day chip crying from joy. They are very organised and super-focused on the steps which is what i was looking for (after realizing the importance of step1, wouldnt be here without it). I would really recommend NA to anyone here. They dont talk about what substances they use, they talk about addiction in general terms so we (gaming addicts) fit in perfectly.
I feel so alive
No plans to game today, thanks for that
Thanks mcphee for reading and replying <3
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Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3
I am hanging in today. I think it's probably true that I will be at risk for excessive gaming, as well as doing other things to excess, for the rest of my life. That doesn't mean I'll necessarily do any of them to excess. It may or may not mean I'm an addict. It could mean simply that I'm somewhat more inclined to get obsessive and compulsive about certain things than many or most other people. Labels probably aren't the most important thing, although they can be a significant problem if they somehow mask the real issues or the best ways to deal with those issues. Anyway, whether I'm a wacked-out gaming addict or just a run-of-the-mill knucklehead, I'm not planning to game today. Thanks for your help with that.
For me personally it was very important to realize that i was addicted to gaming, and that it is not me being lazy, undisciplined or having a bad habit. I could not quit (one day at a time) before i realised that. It was not possible. Quitting brought up too much guilt, and i wasn't decisive in my dealings with myself and other people around me who were gamers.
I wanna say a special thanks to Tommi for recommending me to NA.
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Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3
Yes, Wazzapp, it would be so easy to game again. I actually had a little urge last night, which I think was brought on by working an extra-long day and feeling tired and like I deserved a reward. Like gaming could be a real reward - ha! It would be like rewarding youself by stabbing yourself in the eye with a fork.
Truth is, it would probably be fun, at least parts of it in the beginning. But I know very well that soon it would become an unpleasant, shameful, problem-causing compulsion and that I would begin neglecting important real-life responsibilities, avoiding other people, lying to them or misleading them about what I was doing, and otherwise just not having any fun. Gaming really does suck, for people like me. And on the other hand, life without gaming really does rock. It's great! I highly recommend it.
One thing I try to keep in mind is that having a problem with excessive gaming is really pretty minor in the scheme of things. There are lots of worse problems that people have and that we could have. So it doesn't make a lot of sense to feel horribly put upon or to be extremely down on ourselves for this weakness or failing or whatever you want to call it. Gaming is a problem for a lot of people, and we happen to be in that group. So what? Nobody's perfect, and while this can really and truly mess up your life, it is not the most awful problem a person could have. Rather than judging ourselves negatively for our failing, I think it's a good idea to be pleased and proud of the way we are working hard, investing energy and time to manage the problem effectively. For most of us, including me, the key part of managing the problem is just not gaming, any, at all, ever. The thought that we're going to be able to play just a little without getting carried away and looking up 16 hours later to find we've done nothing that we promised or were supposed to do is, experience has shown, not realistic. A little gaming is going to turn into a lot of gaming. Period. So, I'm not going to game even a little. I'll keep my life full of interesting and rewarding activities that don't involve gaming. This is easy, although it takes some time to get it all arranged when you are first contemplating what to do with the many empty hours you used to spend gaming. It's also really, really great, and lots of fun. I love not gaming and I encourage other people here to join me in a game-free life.
No plans to game today. Thanks for your help with that.
Great post McPhee, thanks for taking the time =) great read!
"Like gaming could be a real reward - ha! It would be like rewarding youself by stabbing yourself in the eye with a fork." This made me laugh out loud x)
I'm feeling great today. I do my work, meditation, excersise, and I enjoy it.
I will not game today
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Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3
Wazzapp and Sven, thanks for the props. I hope you both are having a fork-free day. :)
I'm doing well. I went for a long bike ride yesterday, over a pretty hilly route and the legs are feeling it. After that I gave my dog a bath and haircut, which is something I've been avoiding. It's really gratifying to get something done that I've been avoiding. There is a long list of things like that and every time I check one off, another one or two slide in to keep the list fat and healthy. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not. Would I be happy if I checked off everything? I'm not likely to find out, in this life at least.
Meanwhile, the ability to reliably feel happier because I did something I've been avoiding is a great gift that life has for me. I can't say I always fully appreciate this gift. Often, I continue avoiding boring, tedious, unpleasant tasks and miss out on a chance to make myself happier. I'm not sure that's a horrible mistake always either, however. I wouldn't want to spend all day every day doing stuff that I hated, even if I could be pretty sure I'd be glad when it was done. It seems reasonable that some time should be devoted to self-indulgent pleasurable activities. The big one of those for me these days, as usual, is reading. I can spend many hours reading books every day and have been like that since I learned to read at age six or so. At times in my life I've been more into gaming or drinking or smoking pot or playing music or other stuff, but reading always returns and is really pretty much a constant. But, I can't read all day every day. My butt gets sore from sitting, for one thing. So it's nice to have chances to get the enjoyable feeling of having a sense of purpose and being responsible for a job well done. Lots of those around today, so I'll get to it.
It's been a while I didn't post. Tuesday evening will be a month I didn't game. I had two weeks off and I'm happy that I decided to do something about the addiction before those two weeks. I have been able to do some other stuff, like gardening, spending time with the family, learning my young one to ride his bicycle and take care of myself by at last going for a blood test. Although that's all quality time, I still spent too much time in front of the computer, which is actually linked to my 55" Tv in the living room soi it's not too antisocial. While I spent time watching movies, especialle anime, I also wasted time surfing without aim.
Bak at work tomorrow, I'm a bit depressed thinking about it. Well, I won't be gaming, but some colleagues are gamers so I hope they won't enable the urge to play, but I think I'll be fine. And when going back home in the evening, if I cut on the surfing aimlessly and watch some anime instead, it will be better time spent! And in the week-ends, if it's sunny, let's get out the house!
Feeling better little by little, one step at a time.
I'm also reading on my e-reader again. It has been a long time I didn't use it. I'm at 50% of a book. Reading often in bed before falling asleep. I replaced the habit of having my laptop with me in bed! :)
Tiredness always seems to bring out my urges, but I've done good so far. I look at my todolist - and know there is no way I could fit 8-12 hours of gaming in there! Love the image of reward by forkstabbing! urg... I don't post here often anymore, but I'm happy I can always return here if the restless don't wanna's turn up.
"...the restless don't wannas..." -- love that phrase, Sidsel. We are here for if you need it. Thanks for dropping in and I'm glad to hear you are well. Congrats on 56 game-free days!
anewho, it sounds like you are making a lot of changes and your life is really improving significantly. I call that a huge victory. You have made progress and you continue to make progress. That's like nirvana. The fact that you are not perfect yet is not the biggest issue here. I think. You're doing so, so much better. I'm really pleased and happy for you and proud of your fantastic progress. If you keep chipping away at it, you can even do better, even if perfection always seems to be a little out of reach. Great job!
I am okay. I got a lot of long-delayed chores done yesterday which was gratifying. This morning my shoulder started hurting while swimming and now is giving me a jet of pain when moved in a certain way. Not sure what's up with that. This is the shoulder I hurt some years back so that I couldn't throw a football with my left arm (I'm left-handed) for about three years. (I never got very good at right handed throwing, but it was interesting to learn to do it.) This morning I guess I should have quit swimming the second I noticed the twinge, but instead I altered my stroke, which seemed to help, and finished the rest of the 25 minute workout. Hindsight is 20-20. It might not have made any difference. Hopefully it will feel better in a day or two. If not, then with the achilles still acting up so I can't run, I will be down to biking and a probably limited gym workout for exercise. Oh, well. Could be worse. Walking is probably the best single exercise and that's not going away soon. I hope.
Meanwhile, no plans to game. Thanks for your help on that.
Hi everyone, didnt have a laptop last night, im staying game-free. Working with the steps, daily meditation, and going to NA is waking up my brain in wierd and exciting ways. I will find a sponsor in NA asap.
No plans to game today
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Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3
wazzapp, you are really embracing the techniques and tools and getting great results. Nice work!
I am okay. My shoulder is hurting from whatever happened swimming yesterday and a shift on the ambulance is coming up later today. That should be interesting. I hope we don't have any really heavy patients. Luckily my partner weighs 250 lbs and is a former competitive power lifter, not to mention being about 35 years younger than, me. so I can definitely count on him holding up his end of the stretcher. Meanwhile, I was able to go for a bike ride this morning and my achilles is feeling better. So even if I have to lay off the swimming, I will still be able to bike and, hopefully, run before long. Weightlifting ... we'll see. It's kind of disappointing because I was thinking of doing a mile open-water swimming race next month. But injury is a part of sports. Ya just gotta accept it and keep going.
No plans to game today. Thanks for your help with that.
Maxi, you sound like you're doing very well. Congratz!
It's probably a good idea to remember that most people agree that a tendency to game excessively is likely something you'll have forever. Call it addiction or not, you may not ever completely get over it. Even years after playing your last game, you may get occasional urges to play. It's best to resist these and not to assume that you're cured and can play moderately like a normal person. You know, "I'll just play for a few minutes, to check this new game out." That usually leads very quickly to once again spending hours, days, weeks and months camped in front of the screen. That's not good. You don't want that. So my advice is to just stay completely away from the games. Beware of overconfidence.
The good news is you can manage this so it doesn't significantly hurt you again, by simply not getting started playing. And the better news is that life without gaming is great! You have to find ways to fill all that time, and if you find things to do that you like and find rewarding (and why wouldn't you?) you'll see that life is once again wonderful and, in fact, even more wonderful than before. FIghting and winning the battle against excessive gaming can help you to become a better person and live a happier, more fulfilling life. This is really an opportunity. I'm thrilled to see you grabbing it and squeezing it!
I am doing pretty well. Meeting today with my buddy with whom I have formed a two-person writing group. We're going to try to support each other while we pursue our dreams of writing novels. I haven't made much progress on my novel, but I have done a lot better than before I hooked up with him. One thing that's happened, as I've thought about this a lot over the past couple of months, is that I've gotten more convinced that this is something I just have to do. Even if the novel sucks when it's done, I want to know that I did it.
No plans to game today. Thanks for your help with that.
Sidsel, you have done very well. I hope you're able to keep in mind all the problems gaming brought into your life, and to imagine a life without any of those problems. Now perhaps you can find more motivation to life that game-free life.
I have lost track of my exact number of days without gaming, but I think it's five or six months now. At times, I am briefly and mildly tempted to play a game. I suspect these urges will recur with varying intensity and frequency more or less forever. Deep (or not so deep) inside me is a part that wants to just ditch all my real-life responsibilities and cares and retreat to the more manageable world of a game. I don't do that because I know that no matter how hard I try to hide from reality, reality is going to find me. I simply must not hide out in a game. That does not make me happy or help me to achieve my goals and execute my duties. For me, gaming is ultimately a source of deep, profound unhappiness, no matter how tempting it seems in the short term. I know how it's going to end, and I'm not going to start gaming. Not today anyway. Thanks for your help with that.
I hope anybody reading this is motivated to join us in our game-free lives. I promise you -- you are going to really like getting excessive gaming out of your life. Ultimately this is not about giving something up, but of gaining something -- a real life. It's wonderful to have a real life that isn't impaired by an imaginary, virtual world. Join us! It's great!
Saturday morning we got a call that my grilfriend's father was in the hospital and not expected to survive. To make a long story short, it's looking better now, but it was a very difficult day or two. I have had one or two slight urges to play games lately. It's crossed my mind that someday it would be great to just be able to devote all my time to playing the games I used to indulge in. I don't know if that's going to happen, and I'm not really going to actively plan for it to happen. I think it's better the way things are now, with me not playing any games whatever. Actually, things are really great, compared to the way they were when I was spending many hours a day gaming, avoiding work and chores and basically all other activities and responsibilities in order to focus entirely on gaming. That's a messed-up way to live. This is much better. I am loving life without gaming and encourage others to join me. Together we can get games out of our lives and make much better lives for ourselves. Let's do it!
Sorry to hear this, McPhee, but sooner or later you will have to face reality one way or the other, I don't think hiding in a game will help you get over this any better, on the contrary, if you're anything like me you will probably feel guilty about gaming when there was actually more important things to take care of.
I've started with my no smoking project, and while I'm using Nikotin patches for the time being I can already tell its going to be tough. On the upside having gone through the procedure 10 years ago (and actually 10 smoke-free years), I know that eventually this urge is going to subside. Which is somewhat encouraging, it might just work the same way with my gaming, I didn't miss smoking one bit after a year or so, but it also reminds me that there's still a risk to relapse even with a decade under your belt.
Sven, any time is a good time to quit smoking, for sure. It's tough to try to quit gaming and smoking at the same time, but it sounds like you know what you're doing so I am optimistic you'll do well. Great decision!
My girlfriend's dad continues to improve a little, but now my 57-year-old stepbrother has died of a heart attack. He was mentally challenged and diabetic and overweight and had various other health issues, but nobody was expecting this. I'm feeling a little beleaguered with all these health issues among people around me. But I'm still alive and still keeping on. Today, in fact, so far I'm doing great, personally. I got a good night's sleep and an early morning bike ride in. Now I have lots of more or less enjoyable work to do as I try to wrap up the month on a good financial note. Off I go!
My girlfriend's father passed away about an hour ago. That's three deaths of people I know in the last month, and two in the last week including my stepbrother. It's messed up, but we all know that it's an inescapable part of life so there's not much to do except comfort the the still living and get on with it.
It does reinforce the fact that this is not a game. This is our one chance to live, unless you believe in reincarnation, and we can and should ask ourselves if we want to spend it in the physical, real world, or a virtual computer game world. I am enjoying the real world more than I ever did the game world. I can't deny gaming has its attractions. It's just not for me. Not anymore, at least. I'm very glad I'm not gaming and hope others who have quit recently or are thinking about quitting will go with me into this game-free world and life. I think you're going to love living without games. I sure do.
No plans to game today. Thanks for your help with that. I hope all are well.
It's not much fun comforting the survivors and making funeral arrangements and winding up the dead person's affairs. Fortunately for me, I'm basically an outsider and only an observer, since there's my girlfriend and her three brothers to do all the actual work. Still, pretty sucky.
No plans to game today. Thanks for your help with that.
My son is visiting this weekend, which means he and his buddies will be playing a lot of video games. I have no plans to join them. Thanks for your help with that.
I have to admit, from time to time I'll think that it would be great if I could just dive into a game and spend all my time there. I'll think that maybe someday when I'm retired or something, I can just play games all day and not have to worry about real life. I guess that's probably pretty crazy. I doubt that will really happen. These thoughts only come to me occasionally. I wonder if I'll ever be completely free of them. I guess it doesn't matter all that much. It's not so awful to every now and then have a brief and mild wish to play a silly computer game. I can deal with that. But I am glad to not be playing now. It was causing and has caused a lot of loss and sadness and failure in my life. I don't want that. So, no plans to game today. Tomorrow I will worry about when it gets here.
I'm pretty pressed for time this morning, with a lot of work to get done before driving out of town to my girlfriend's father's funeral service. I could have done some of it last night and yesterday, but instead I chose to spend a lot of time reading. I suppose reading is something like gaming -- an activity I indulge in to excess with negative results for me, at least in some ways. But it's much less harmful than gaming, and it's something I've been doing my whole life, at least since I learned to read. Reading has caused me some problems, no doubt. As a kid, I used to get in trouble in school for hiding a book on my lap to read during class. And, like yesterday, I have often avoided work in order to read. But, it's really nothing like gaming in the way it can take over your life. I very rarely, almost never, read for pleasure during normal working hours. All told, I think it's a manageable activity, even if I could manage it better. No plans to game today.
It's been a while since m last post. Had a lot of cravings, went to watch new upcoming games, watched the games on sale etc ... even had the idea to sell my serious games to replace them by more simple games accessible to my son so we would play together, or at least share the moment together ... not so good idea I guess! Although playing a bit of minecraft on the ps4 would allow us to be creative ... but that's the eternal debate of an addict about gaming with a time limit, or other limitations :)
So yesterday we went out on a playground for the kid, and it was great. He played with other kids, the weather was nice and I did ... nothing ^^ It's not something easy to do for me, doing nothing. The day before we went to a smaller playground, a park with a lake in a neighbour city, but I had my e-reader and I could do some reading.
McPhee, I also think reading is great and less dangerous than gaming. I don't know about you; but for me it's way more easy to pause for a few minutes, hours, days in a book than in a game!
Thanks for the update, anewho. You are sounding good. I think you'll be happier not gaming at all, but your call
I think reading is similar in some ways to gaming, but overall more dissimilar than not. I don't beel to bad about reading a lot. Not planning to game today.
I was contemplating today the question of whether a total devotion to gaming could ever be a good thing. I'd say for someone who was paralyzed. unable to speak and only capable of moving a mouse it might be great for them to have an active online community of gamers to get involved with. But what about someone who was unusually shy or socially awkward? Would restricting themselves to an online existence be good? Conceivably.
I think for most of us who have a strong tendency to game for many hours a day, for many days on end, while neglecting real world responsibilies and possibly lying and cheating in order to get more gaming time, the best move is to stay completely out of gaming and try very hard to make a real world life. If you're going to be successful not gaming, it seems to me you need a fulfilling real world life. That means real life activities, friends, relationships, accomplishments, challenges etc.
If you can't replace all or pretty much all the things you're getting from games, it's going to be tougher to quit gaming and stick with it. If you can develop a full, satisfying real life, it's easier. Possibly there are some folks who, for whatever reason, are going to have so much trouble developing a complete real life, that it would be best for them to stay in the virtual world. I am not saying there definitely are such people, but it's a possibility.
For me, however, no plans to game today. Thanks for your help with that.
This thread seems to be tapering off a bit. I imagine things will pick up on the weekend. If not, it's been a good run and I've appreciated having this resource to help me avoid gaming, as well as all the people who have participated, especially Silvertabby who started the thread.
No plans to game today. Thanks for your help with that.
Four months game free, 12 days smoke free*, and now, a week ago I requested my Facebook account to be deleted. I took up Twitter to stay informed about a number of subjects I'm intersted in, but so far it seems far less addictive than FB. Lets hope it stays that way, because I'm somewhat tired of replacing one sort of addicition with another.
I've been thinking about the wondering of yours, whether living in a fantasy world for some may be the only thing close to living a 'happy' life. I tend to agree with your assessment, however, being affected by social anxiety myself I wonder whether this is just my addictive side trying to find a reason to justify going back. I don't know.
What I do know is even now 4 months later urges keep are still there, maybe not as strong as ealier, and less in your face, more subtle but I won't lie in the last couple of days it has been more difficult again for me. I think keeping your guard up is key. I have always been ashamed of my gaming, as an adult, which in itself may be a sign of a lack of confidence, but these days its a strong motivator to stay away from games. This, and anticipating a feeling of guilt should I ever go back, the guilty conscience is a strong ally, but of course these are negative feelings/concepts and you need positive impulses too. Gaming leaves a void that needs to be filled, after all. For me its my violin playing, my study of philosophy, reading and music.
I try to log on to Olga at least once a week, and it a habit to post at least once a week.
Have a good, game free weekend everybody.
*albeit with the help of nikotin patches, but I know from experience that quitting nikotin is not much of a problem, the challenge is changing the *habit* of smoking
Sven, that's a great update! Congrats on the milestones! It is so great to see that crazy behavior receding into the past. Every day that goes by (more or less) you get healthier and stronger and the urges get less frequent and weaker. However, as you said, you can't let your guard down. I think it's usually a mistake to think that just because you haven't gamed in a long time you can do it in moderation or take a chance with some kind of risky activity. For me, last time it was playing chess on my phone that proved to be the gateway to eventually getting once again over my head in the strategy games that I get hooked on. Now I know: No chess, no games of any kind. Nothing. I don't want to go back there again.
I think it's likely I will always have this weakness, addiction, allergy, whatever you want to call it. That's okay. Things could be much, much worse. As long as I avoid the games, I'm pretty normal. It's like having an allergy to, say, shellfish. Everything is fine as long as someone that has that allergy doesn't eat any shellfish. If they eat shellfish, they could die. You see what I'm saying. No games = I'm pretty good. Games = I stink.
So no games today. No computer chess. Nothing like that. Thanks for your help.
I did 12 hours on the ambulance yesterday and, as usual, came away with renewed appreciation for my good fortune in life. Yes, I may be a weak, spineless weird fool who is ridiculously susceptible to gaming addiction and crazy alcohol use among other problems, but it could sure be worse. Like this one woman I transported who has been a quadriplegic since 2004 because of a car wreck. Now that is messed up. That is trouble. That is something to complain about. By comparison, my personal afllictions are more along the lines of minor inconveniences. After being exposed to this sort of situation, I find I spend less time being upset about my bad luck or stupid decisions, and more time trying to fix things or get what I want out of life. That's a plus, I figure.
No plans to make bad decisions about gaming today.
It's unfortunate that this thread appears to be fading out. It's been a good one. After something like six months off the games, I am still not gaming, have no plans to start and am pleased and grateful to have gotten support in that here. Memories of gaming are fading and urges and rare and weak. It's good and getting better. Thanks again.
No gaming or urges beyond the rare, faint and fleeting kind after about six months since the last time I played a game. I keep posting here because I fear -- yes, fear -- that if I don't, I'm likely to forget about the risk of gaming and somehow get sucked back into it. I don't want that. I really like life without gaming. Gaming and me are like oil and water. We just don't get along. I don't want that back in my life. I figure if I post here every day, pretty much, I'll stay sharp and alert and not take any chances or try any foolish stunts -- I'll just play for a little while! -- that will lead me back into spending 16 hours a day hunched over a keyboard in a litter of tostada crumbs, pizza crusts and soda cans, hiding out from life while my important duties and responsibilities go unfulfilled and people who rely on me are let down. Don't want it. Not gonna do it. Not today at least.
I am still here, still not gaming and still determined not to start again. It's been about six months since the last time I gamed, but I am afraid -- with good reason -- that if I forget how important it is for me not to play computer games, then I will start it up again. And if I do that, my life will once again be messed up in a particularly sad and troubling way. I don't want that. And I figure if I post here more or less daily, then it will keep the fact that I don't want to game uppermost in my mind. I'll read stories about how other people have screwed up and are screwing up their lives by gaming. I'll feel the desperation in their reports on how they are strugglng to quit and all the damage excessive gaming is inflicting on them and their lives and the people they are close to. I'll be energized by reaching out to them and helping them put the games down. I'll be reminded of the techniques and tools we use to avoid gaming, and I will learn new ones. And, in the end, I won't game. That's my plan. It's really important to me to make this work. I don't want to go back to that life. So, I'm posting yet again.
Guys,
It was wonderful to hear from you guys. I have read all of your posts and it seems like most of you are doing pretty well.
I had yet another terrible relapse. I played many games this time and spent almost every hour of the day on gaming. Sigh.
Mc Phee, I think your advice is correct. I will change my signature now. Sometimes, we do have to swallow our pride and admit the fact that we will fail again. The important thing is to stand up tall again everytime we do.
No plan to game at this moment. 4:08 am (Tuesday - 11/08/2015) Plan for tomorrow: already made. Must promise not to stress myself out!
Maxi
13 years since first started gaming (2002 - 2015)
Reborn on July 29th, 2015.
Maxi, glad you are back and still in the fight. I wouldn't plan to fail, but I would accept that if it has happened that you've had a relapse, it's a normal part of quitting. What you do now is just quit again. Do it a day at a time. Every day you don't game is a good one. Let tomorrow take care of itself. You can't do anything about it now anyway. Hang in there!
Sven, great work! congrats on the 100 days!
Wazzapp, well done getting through the stressful period without gaming.
I'm okay. Visiting my mom. No plans to game today.
Thank u all for coming here
Yes, stress is definately a huge trigger, relaxation is an art.
Working on step 2, perhaps time for a sponsor.
My day has been great. I had no idea being game-free would make such a profound difference in my life, not only in my outer-world (work, relationships, hobbies) but most importantly: my inner-world (the feeling in my body, the quality of my thoughts)
Minimized screen-time a lot in the past few days after getting inspired by this post http://www.olganon.org/forum/open-general-discussion/what-worked-jacob-s
No plans to game today
Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3
wazzapp, yes, minimizing screen time is a good way to go. It's hard to game when you aren't in front of a computer or console. I spend hours a day in front of a computer for work, but somehow have gotten past the temptation to game. I may surf aimlessly a bit, but I'm not interested in going back to spending all my time in a virtual fantasy land. Not a good way to go, based on my extensive personal research experience.
I'm okay today. My son is heading out tomorrow after a long visit that has been great. I visited my 83-year-old mother over the weekend and that was also great. Here's hoping all this greatness continues. If it doesn't, it's been a good ride. Thanks for your help. No plans to game today.
Checking in really quickly!
A lot of work today, pushed through some inner resistance
Keeping my meditation routine of 20-30mins per day, trying to do it close to nature if possible.
no plans to game today
see u
Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3
wazzapp, good job! A lot of people get great benefit from meditation. I've never done it consistently over a long period of time, but it seems like a very worthwhile activity. I'm glad you're doing it and staying away from the gaming.
I'm okay here. My son leaves today after several days with me. It's been great. He is an admirable and enjoyable young man and I feel fortunate and privileged to have gotten to spend some time with him. He plays a lot of computer games, but I think he'll be able to put them down if he has to. He has other interests, notably soccer, that keep him rooted in reality. Anyway, I'm only responsible for my life and choices, and I'm glad I've been choosing the last several months not to game. It's been much, much better living without gaming than it was when I was spending many hours a day buried in a screen and virtual world, neglecting my important real-life duties and misleading others or outright lying about what I was really doing with my time. That is not a happy way to live. No plans to game today. Thanks for your help with that.
Checking in to see how u guys are doing
McPhee, happy to see u are staying game-free =)
I went to GA today. Talked to them about the steps, but they don't have a 12step program (at that GA in my city). Think i'm gonna check out NA instead. I feel stressed, irritated, restless, after the GA meeting, im not sure why. Could be a million reasons. However, i try not to indulge in it, bad days is part of life hehe..
I will not game today, just for today
Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3
wazzapp, I admire your persistence and flexibility in seeking a good place to get help. It's not always easy or fast. Sometimes we have to keep trying and looking to find a way to get out of the mess we have gotten ourselves in. But it can be done and you are doing it. Sweet!
I am okay. No gaming or plans to. Thanks to all for your help with that.
I went to NA today, best thing i did since forever. Got my 30 day chip crying from joy. They are very organised and super-focused on the steps which is what i was looking for (after realizing the importance of step1, wouldnt be here without it). I would really recommend NA to anyone here. They dont talk about what substances they use, they talk about addiction in general terms so we (gaming addicts) fit in perfectly.
I feel so alive
No plans to game today, thanks for that
Thanks mcphee for reading and replying <3
Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3
I am hanging in today. I think it's probably true that I will be at risk for excessive gaming, as well as doing other things to excess, for the rest of my life. That doesn't mean I'll necessarily do any of them to excess. It may or may not mean I'm an addict. It could mean simply that I'm somewhat more inclined to get obsessive and compulsive about certain things than many or most other people. Labels probably aren't the most important thing, although they can be a significant problem if they somehow mask the real issues or the best ways to deal with those issues. Anyway, whether I'm a wacked-out gaming addict or just a run-of-the-mill knucklehead, I'm not planning to game today. Thanks for your help with that.
For me personally it was very important to realize that i was addicted to gaming, and that it is not me being lazy, undisciplined or having a bad habit. I could not quit (one day at a time) before i realised that. It was not possible. Quitting brought up too much guilt, and i wasn't decisive in my dealings with myself and other people around me who were gamers.
I wanna say a special thanks to Tommi for recommending me to NA.
Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3
No plans to game today
Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3
I can easily slip back into acting out addiction
That's why i take one day at a time
Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3
Yes, Wazzapp, it would be so easy to game again. I actually had a little urge last night, which I think was brought on by working an extra-long day and feeling tired and like I deserved a reward. Like gaming could be a real reward - ha! It would be like rewarding youself by stabbing yourself in the eye with a fork.
Truth is, it would probably be fun, at least parts of it in the beginning. But I know very well that soon it would become an unpleasant, shameful, problem-causing compulsion and that I would begin neglecting important real-life responsibilities, avoiding other people, lying to them or misleading them about what I was doing, and otherwise just not having any fun. Gaming really does suck, for people like me. And on the other hand, life without gaming really does rock. It's great! I highly recommend it.
One thing I try to keep in mind is that having a problem with excessive gaming is really pretty minor in the scheme of things. There are lots of worse problems that people have and that we could have. So it doesn't make a lot of sense to feel horribly put upon or to be extremely down on ourselves for this weakness or failing or whatever you want to call it. Gaming is a problem for a lot of people, and we happen to be in that group. So what? Nobody's perfect, and while this can really and truly mess up your life, it is not the most awful problem a person could have. Rather than judging ourselves negatively for our failing, I think it's a good idea to be pleased and proud of the way we are working hard, investing energy and time to manage the problem effectively. For most of us, including me, the key part of managing the problem is just not gaming, any, at all, ever. The thought that we're going to be able to play just a little without getting carried away and looking up 16 hours later to find we've done nothing that we promised or were supposed to do is, experience has shown, not realistic. A little gaming is going to turn into a lot of gaming. Period. So, I'm not going to game even a little. I'll keep my life full of interesting and rewarding activities that don't involve gaming. This is easy, although it takes some time to get it all arranged when you are first contemplating what to do with the many empty hours you used to spend gaming. It's also really, really great, and lots of fun. I love not gaming and I encourage other people here to join me in a game-free life.
No plans to game today. Thanks for your help with that.
Great post McPhee, thanks for taking the time =) great read!
"Like gaming could be a real reward - ha! It would be like rewarding youself by stabbing yourself in the eye with a fork." This made me laugh out loud x)
I'm feeling great today. I do my work, meditation, excersise, and I enjoy it.
I will not game today
Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3
Well said, McPhee. Amen.
Wazzapp and Sven, thanks for the props. I hope you both are having a fork-free day. :)
I'm doing well. I went for a long bike ride yesterday, over a pretty hilly route and the legs are feeling it. After that I gave my dog a bath and haircut, which is something I've been avoiding. It's really gratifying to get something done that I've been avoiding. There is a long list of things like that and every time I check one off, another one or two slide in to keep the list fat and healthy. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not. Would I be happy if I checked off everything? I'm not likely to find out, in this life at least.
Meanwhile, the ability to reliably feel happier because I did something I've been avoiding is a great gift that life has for me. I can't say I always fully appreciate this gift. Often, I continue avoiding boring, tedious, unpleasant tasks and miss out on a chance to make myself happier. I'm not sure that's a horrible mistake always either, however. I wouldn't want to spend all day every day doing stuff that I hated, even if I could be pretty sure I'd be glad when it was done. It seems reasonable that some time should be devoted to self-indulgent pleasurable activities. The big one of those for me these days, as usual, is reading. I can spend many hours reading books every day and have been like that since I learned to read at age six or so. At times in my life I've been more into gaming or drinking or smoking pot or playing music or other stuff, but reading always returns and is really pretty much a constant. But, I can't read all day every day. My butt gets sore from sitting, for one thing. So it's nice to have chances to get the enjoyable feeling of having a sense of purpose and being responsible for a job well done. Lots of those around today, so I'll get to it.
No plans to game. Thanks for your help with that.
It's been a while I didn't post. Tuesday evening will be a month I didn't game. I had two weeks off and I'm happy that I decided to do something about the addiction before those two weeks. I have been able to do some other stuff, like gardening, spending time with the family, learning my young one to ride his bicycle and take care of myself by at last going for a blood test. Although that's all quality time, I still spent too much time in front of the computer, which is actually linked to my 55" Tv in the living room soi it's not too antisocial. While I spent time watching movies, especialle anime, I also wasted time surfing without aim.
Bak at work tomorrow, I'm a bit depressed thinking about it. Well, I won't be gaming, but some colleagues are gamers so I hope they won't enable the urge to play, but I think I'll be fine. And when going back home in the evening, if I cut on the surfing aimlessly and watch some anime instead, it will be better time spent! And in the week-ends, if it's sunny, let's get out the house!
Feeling better little by little, one step at a time.
I'm also reading on my e-reader again. It has been a long time I didn't use it. I'm at 50% of a book. Reading often in bed before falling asleep. I replaced the habit of having my laptop with me in bed! :)
Tiredness always seems to bring out my urges, but I've done good so far. I look at my todolist - and know there is no way I could fit 8-12 hours of gaming in there! Love the image of reward by forkstabbing! urg... I don't post here often anymore, but I'm happy I can always return here if the restless don't wanna's turn up.
Good work everyone.
"...the restless don't wannas..." -- love that phrase, Sidsel. We are here for if you need it. Thanks for dropping in and I'm glad to hear you are well. Congrats on 56 game-free days!
anewho, it sounds like you are making a lot of changes and your life is really improving significantly. I call that a huge victory. You have made progress and you continue to make progress. That's like nirvana. The fact that you are not perfect yet is not the biggest issue here. I think. You're doing so, so much better. I'm really pleased and happy for you and proud of your fantastic progress. If you keep chipping away at it, you can even do better, even if perfection always seems to be a little out of reach. Great job!
I am okay. I got a lot of long-delayed chores done yesterday which was gratifying. This morning my shoulder started hurting while swimming and now is giving me a jet of pain when moved in a certain way. Not sure what's up with that. This is the shoulder I hurt some years back so that I couldn't throw a football with my left arm (I'm left-handed) for about three years. (I never got very good at right handed throwing, but it was interesting to learn to do it.) This morning I guess I should have quit swimming the second I noticed the twinge, but instead I altered my stroke, which seemed to help, and finished the rest of the 25 minute workout. Hindsight is 20-20. It might not have made any difference. Hopefully it will feel better in a day or two. If not, then with the achilles still acting up so I can't run, I will be down to biking and a probably limited gym workout for exercise. Oh, well. Could be worse. Walking is probably the best single exercise and that's not going away soon. I hope.
Meanwhile, no plans to game. Thanks for your help on that.
Hi everyone, didnt have a laptop last night, im staying game-free. Working with the steps, daily meditation, and going to NA is waking up my brain in wierd and exciting ways. I will find a sponsor in NA asap.
No plans to game today
Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3
wazzapp, you are really embracing the techniques and tools and getting great results. Nice work!
I am okay. My shoulder is hurting from whatever happened swimming yesterday and a shift on the ambulance is coming up later today. That should be interesting. I hope we don't have any really heavy patients. Luckily my partner weighs 250 lbs and is a former competitive power lifter, not to mention being about 35 years younger than, me. so I can definitely count on him holding up his end of the stretcher. Meanwhile, I was able to go for a bike ride this morning and my achilles is feeling better. So even if I have to lay off the swimming, I will still be able to bike and, hopefully, run before long. Weightlifting ... we'll see. It's kind of disappointing because I was thinking of doing a mile open-water swimming race next month. But injury is a part of sports. Ya just gotta accept it and keep going.
No plans to game today. Thanks for your help with that.
Let the game begins!
Just checking in to see how everyone is doing.
Love your posts.
Risk is still there although I want to deny it. Just bought a laptop for study but there is a chance I might use it for something else.
Just discovered a new game (MMORPG). Very "addictive-looking".
No plan to game today. Travelling with family to the beautiful Gold Coast.
Best wishes,
Maxi
13 years since first started gaming (2002 - 2015)
Reborn on July 29th, 2015.
Maxi, you sound like you're doing very well. Congratz!
It's probably a good idea to remember that most people agree that a tendency to game excessively is likely something you'll have forever. Call it addiction or not, you may not ever completely get over it. Even years after playing your last game, you may get occasional urges to play. It's best to resist these and not to assume that you're cured and can play moderately like a normal person. You know, "I'll just play for a few minutes, to check this new game out." That usually leads very quickly to once again spending hours, days, weeks and months camped in front of the screen. That's not good. You don't want that. So my advice is to just stay completely away from the games. Beware of overconfidence.
The good news is you can manage this so it doesn't significantly hurt you again, by simply not getting started playing. And the better news is that life without gaming is great! You have to find ways to fill all that time, and if you find things to do that you like and find rewarding (and why wouldn't you?) you'll see that life is once again wonderful and, in fact, even more wonderful than before. FIghting and winning the battle against excessive gaming can help you to become a better person and live a happier, more fulfilling life. This is really an opportunity. I'm thrilled to see you grabbing it and squeezing it!
I am doing pretty well. Meeting today with my buddy with whom I have formed a two-person writing group. We're going to try to support each other while we pursue our dreams of writing novels. I haven't made much progress on my novel, but I have done a lot better than before I hooked up with him. One thing that's happened, as I've thought about this a lot over the past couple of months, is that I've gotten more convinced that this is something I just have to do. Even if the novel sucks when it's done, I want to know that I did it.
No plans to game today. Thanks for your help with that.
I am doing okay. No plans to game today. Thanks for your help with that.
And suddenly really hard to stay away. I'm managing. Reading here and the subreddit Stop Gaming. But tired. No plans to game today.
Hello everyone
Glad to see u are staying game-free, and thanks for helping me stay off games
I'm going to NA meetings almost every day, getting in touch with my HP, working the steps, meditating.
If i don't write here for a while, don't worry, im probably fine ;) see u around and love to u all <3
Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3
Sidsel, you have done very well. I hope you're able to keep in mind all the problems gaming brought into your life, and to imagine a life without any of those problems. Now perhaps you can find more motivation to life that game-free life.
I have lost track of my exact number of days without gaming, but I think it's five or six months now. At times, I am briefly and mildly tempted to play a game. I suspect these urges will recur with varying intensity and frequency more or less forever. Deep (or not so deep) inside me is a part that wants to just ditch all my real-life responsibilities and cares and retreat to the more manageable world of a game. I don't do that because I know that no matter how hard I try to hide from reality, reality is going to find me. I simply must not hide out in a game. That does not make me happy or help me to achieve my goals and execute my duties. For me, gaming is ultimately a source of deep, profound unhappiness, no matter how tempting it seems in the short term. I know how it's going to end, and I'm not going to start gaming. Not today anyway. Thanks for your help with that.
I hope anybody reading this is motivated to join us in our game-free lives. I promise you -- you are going to really like getting excessive gaming out of your life. Ultimately this is not about giving something up, but of gaining something -- a real life. It's wonderful to have a real life that isn't impaired by an imaginary, virtual world. Join us! It's great!
Saturday morning we got a call that my grilfriend's father was in the hospital and not expected to survive. To make a long story short, it's looking better now, but it was a very difficult day or two. I have had one or two slight urges to play games lately. It's crossed my mind that someday it would be great to just be able to devote all my time to playing the games I used to indulge in. I don't know if that's going to happen, and I'm not really going to actively plan for it to happen. I think it's better the way things are now, with me not playing any games whatever. Actually, things are really great, compared to the way they were when I was spending many hours a day gaming, avoiding work and chores and basically all other activities and responsibilities in order to focus entirely on gaming. That's a messed-up way to live. This is much better. I am loving life without gaming and encourage others to join me. Together we can get games out of our lives and make much better lives for ourselves. Let's do it!
Sorry to hear this, McPhee, but sooner or later you will have to face reality one way or the other, I don't think hiding in a game will help you get over this any better, on the contrary, if you're anything like me you will probably feel guilty about gaming when there was actually more important things to take care of.
I've started with my no smoking project, and while I'm using Nikotin patches for the time being I can already tell its going to be tough. On the upside having gone through the procedure 10 years ago (and actually 10 smoke-free years), I know that eventually this urge is going to subside. Which is somewhat encouraging, it might just work the same way with my gaming, I didn't miss smoking one bit after a year or so, but it also reminds me that there's still a risk to relapse even with a decade under your belt.
Once an addict, always an addict. So true.
Sven, any time is a good time to quit smoking, for sure. It's tough to try to quit gaming and smoking at the same time, but it sounds like you know what you're doing so I am optimistic you'll do well. Great decision!
My girlfriend's dad continues to improve a little, but now my 57-year-old stepbrother has died of a heart attack. He was mentally challenged and diabetic and overweight and had various other health issues, but nobody was expecting this. I'm feeling a little beleaguered with all these health issues among people around me. But I'm still alive and still keeping on. Today, in fact, so far I'm doing great, personally. I got a good night's sleep and an early morning bike ride in. Now I have lots of more or less enjoyable work to do as I try to wrap up the month on a good financial note. Off I go!
No plans to game today.
My girlfriend's father passed away about an hour ago. That's three deaths of people I know in the last month, and two in the last week including my stepbrother. It's messed up, but we all know that it's an inescapable part of life so there's not much to do except comfort the the still living and get on with it.
It does reinforce the fact that this is not a game. This is our one chance to live, unless you believe in reincarnation, and we can and should ask ourselves if we want to spend it in the physical, real world, or a virtual computer game world. I am enjoying the real world more than I ever did the game world. I can't deny gaming has its attractions. It's just not for me. Not anymore, at least. I'm very glad I'm not gaming and hope others who have quit recently or are thinking about quitting will go with me into this game-free world and life. I think you're going to love living without games. I sure do.
No plans to game today. Thanks for your help with that. I hope all are well.
My condolences.
Thanks, Sven. It's appreciated.
It's not much fun comforting the survivors and making funeral arrangements and winding up the dead person's affairs. Fortunately for me, I'm basically an outsider and only an observer, since there's my girlfriend and her three brothers to do all the actual work. Still, pretty sucky.
No plans to game today. Thanks for your help with that.
My son is visiting this weekend, which means he and his buddies will be playing a lot of video games. I have no plans to join them. Thanks for your help with that.
I have to admit, from time to time I'll think that it would be great if I could just dive into a game and spend all my time there. I'll think that maybe someday when I'm retired or something, I can just play games all day and not have to worry about real life. I guess that's probably pretty crazy. I doubt that will really happen. These thoughts only come to me occasionally. I wonder if I'll ever be completely free of them. I guess it doesn't matter all that much. It's not so awful to every now and then have a brief and mild wish to play a silly computer game. I can deal with that. But I am glad to not be playing now. It was causing and has caused a lot of loss and sadness and failure in my life. I don't want that. So, no plans to game today. Tomorrow I will worry about when it gets here.
I'm pretty pressed for time this morning, with a lot of work to get done before driving out of town to my girlfriend's father's funeral service. I could have done some of it last night and yesterday, but instead I chose to spend a lot of time reading. I suppose reading is something like gaming -- an activity I indulge in to excess with negative results for me, at least in some ways. But it's much less harmful than gaming, and it's something I've been doing my whole life, at least since I learned to read. Reading has caused me some problems, no doubt. As a kid, I used to get in trouble in school for hiding a book on my lap to read during class. And, like yesterday, I have often avoided work in order to read. But, it's really nothing like gaming in the way it can take over your life. I very rarely, almost never, read for pleasure during normal working hours. All told, I think it's a manageable activity, even if I could manage it better. No plans to game today.
It's been a while since m last post. Had a lot of cravings, went to watch new upcoming games, watched the games on sale etc ... even had the idea to sell my serious games to replace them by more simple games accessible to my son so we would play together, or at least share the moment together ... not so good idea I guess! Although playing a bit of minecraft on the ps4 would allow us to be creative ... but that's the eternal debate of an addict about gaming with a time limit, or other limitations :)
So yesterday we went out on a playground for the kid, and it was great. He played with other kids, the weather was nice and I did ... nothing ^^ It's not something easy to do for me, doing nothing. The day before we went to a smaller playground, a park with a lake in a neighbour city, but I had my e-reader and I could do some reading.
McPhee, I also think reading is great and less dangerous than gaming. I don't know about you; but for me it's way more easy to pause for a few minutes, hours, days in a book than in a game!
Thanks for the update, anewho. You are sounding good. I think you'll be happier not gaming at all, but your call
I think reading is similar in some ways to gaming, but overall more dissimilar than not. I don't beel to bad about reading a lot. Not planning to game today.
I was contemplating today the question of whether a total devotion to gaming could ever be a good thing. I'd say for someone who was paralyzed. unable to speak and only capable of moving a mouse it might be great for them to have an active online community of gamers to get involved with. But what about someone who was unusually shy or socially awkward? Would restricting themselves to an online existence be good? Conceivably.
I think for most of us who have a strong tendency to game for many hours a day, for many days on end, while neglecting real world responsibilies and possibly lying and cheating in order to get more gaming time, the best move is to stay completely out of gaming and try very hard to make a real world life. If you're going to be successful not gaming, it seems to me you need a fulfilling real world life. That means real life activities, friends, relationships, accomplishments, challenges etc.
If you can't replace all or pretty much all the things you're getting from games, it's going to be tougher to quit gaming and stick with it. If you can develop a full, satisfying real life, it's easier. Possibly there are some folks who, for whatever reason, are going to have so much trouble developing a complete real life, that it would be best for them to stay in the virtual world. I am not saying there definitely are such people, but it's a possibility.
For me, however, no plans to game today. Thanks for your help with that.
I am still here and still not gaming. I hope all are well and having similar experiences.
This thread seems to be tapering off a bit. I imagine things will pick up on the weekend. If not, it's been a good run and I've appreciated having this resource to help me avoid gaming, as well as all the people who have participated, especially Silvertabby who started the thread.
No plans to game today. Thanks for your help with that.
Four months game free, 12 days smoke free*, and now, a week ago I requested my Facebook account to be deleted. I took up Twitter to stay informed about a number of subjects I'm intersted in, but so far it seems far less addictive than FB. Lets hope it stays that way, because I'm somewhat tired of replacing one sort of addicition with another.
I've been thinking about the wondering of yours, whether living in a fantasy world for some may be the only thing close to living a 'happy' life. I tend to agree with your assessment, however, being affected by social anxiety myself I wonder whether this is just my addictive side trying to find a reason to justify going back. I don't know.
What I do know is even now 4 months later urges keep are still there, maybe not as strong as ealier, and less in your face, more subtle but I won't lie in the last couple of days it has been more difficult again for me. I think keeping your guard up is key. I have always been ashamed of my gaming, as an adult, which in itself may be a sign of a lack of confidence, but these days its a strong motivator to stay away from games. This, and anticipating a feeling of guilt should I ever go back, the guilty conscience is a strong ally, but of course these are negative feelings/concepts and you need positive impulses too. Gaming leaves a void that needs to be filled, after all. For me its my violin playing, my study of philosophy, reading and music.
I try to log on to Olga at least once a week, and it a habit to post at least once a week.
Have a good, game free weekend everybody.
*albeit with the help of nikotin patches, but I know from experience that quitting nikotin is not much of a problem, the challenge is changing the *habit* of smoking
Sven, that's a great update! Congrats on the milestones! It is so great to see that crazy behavior receding into the past. Every day that goes by (more or less) you get healthier and stronger and the urges get less frequent and weaker. However, as you said, you can't let your guard down. I think it's usually a mistake to think that just because you haven't gamed in a long time you can do it in moderation or take a chance with some kind of risky activity. For me, last time it was playing chess on my phone that proved to be the gateway to eventually getting once again over my head in the strategy games that I get hooked on. Now I know: No chess, no games of any kind. Nothing. I don't want to go back there again.
I think it's likely I will always have this weakness, addiction, allergy, whatever you want to call it. That's okay. Things could be much, much worse. As long as I avoid the games, I'm pretty normal. It's like having an allergy to, say, shellfish. Everything is fine as long as someone that has that allergy doesn't eat any shellfish. If they eat shellfish, they could die. You see what I'm saying. No games = I'm pretty good. Games = I stink.
So no games today. No computer chess. Nothing like that. Thanks for your help.
I did 12 hours on the ambulance yesterday and, as usual, came away with renewed appreciation for my good fortune in life. Yes, I may be a weak, spineless weird fool who is ridiculously susceptible to gaming addiction and crazy alcohol use among other problems, but it could sure be worse. Like this one woman I transported who has been a quadriplegic since 2004 because of a car wreck. Now that is messed up. That is trouble. That is something to complain about. By comparison, my personal afllictions are more along the lines of minor inconveniences. After being exposed to this sort of situation, I find I spend less time being upset about my bad luck or stupid decisions, and more time trying to fix things or get what I want out of life. That's a plus, I figure.
No plans to make bad decisions about gaming today.
It's unfortunate that this thread appears to be fading out. It's been a good one. After something like six months off the games, I am still not gaming, have no plans to start and am pleased and grateful to have gotten support in that here. Memories of gaming are fading and urges and rare and weak. It's good and getting better. Thanks again.
No gaming or urges beyond the rare, faint and fleeting kind after about six months since the last time I played a game. I keep posting here because I fear -- yes, fear -- that if I don't, I'm likely to forget about the risk of gaming and somehow get sucked back into it. I don't want that. I really like life without gaming. Gaming and me are like oil and water. We just don't get along. I don't want that back in my life. I figure if I post here every day, pretty much, I'll stay sharp and alert and not take any chances or try any foolish stunts -- I'll just play for a little while! -- that will lead me back into spending 16 hours a day hunched over a keyboard in a litter of tostada crumbs, pizza crusts and soda cans, hiding out from life while my important duties and responsibilities go unfulfilled and people who rely on me are let down. Don't want it. Not gonna do it. Not today at least.
Nothing much new on the gaming front about six months after my last run-in with the games. No major urges. No plans to game. I hope all are well.
No plans to game.
I am still here, still not gaming and still determined not to start again. It's been about six months since the last time I gamed, but I am afraid -- with good reason -- that if I forget how important it is for me not to play computer games, then I will start it up again. And if I do that, my life will once again be messed up in a particularly sad and troubling way. I don't want that. And I figure if I post here more or less daily, then it will keep the fact that I don't want to game uppermost in my mind. I'll read stories about how other people have screwed up and are screwing up their lives by gaming. I'll feel the desperation in their reports on how they are strugglng to quit and all the damage excessive gaming is inflicting on them and their lives and the people they are close to. I'll be energized by reaching out to them and helping them put the games down. I'll be reminded of the techniques and tools we use to avoid gaming, and I will learn new ones. And, in the end, I won't game. That's my plan. It's really important to me to make this work. I don't want to go back to that life. So, I'm posting yet again.
No plans to game.