Step 2

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Aryianna
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Step 2

Step 2:  Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

Principle:  Hope

Submission Step

Spiritual

We need to change our whole life.  Not just our thinking, but our heart.

This step implies insanity.  The phrase "restore us to sanity" implies that the on-line game addict, referred to in "us" had lost some degree of sanity.  The insanity is that we continue the same behavior and expect different results.  There is also an implication that the on-line game addict lacked the power to overcome their insane behavior.

"Came to believe" is a statement of faith.  It is a point where the online game addict believes that nothing in their human power is able to help them with their problem, except for a power greater than themselves.

What is a power greater than oneself?  It can be God related to one's spiritual conviction or it can be OLGA as a group.  OLGA is not here to preach religious teachings. 

The 12 steps of recovery is a spiritual path independent of any religion; it is not a religious path.  The only requirement of this step is that the online game addict come to realize that they do not have the power to overcome the insanity that had arisen from their game addiction, and that the power be greater than themselves.

Is it weak to rely on a power greater than themselves?  No!  History has shown that people of great courage have always had faith in a creator. In terms of insanity, it would help the online game addict to take a look at some of their insane behavior and thinking that was a result or effect of their online game addiction.

Questions and suggestions for discussion
1.  What kind of insane behavior or thinking can you identify in your own life that resulted from your online game addiction?
2.  Look at your FEAR. What does it stand for, for you? Face Everything and Run Or Face Everything and Recover
3.  Site examples where you, yourself, were unable to overcome the unsound behavior and thoughts and your fear.
4.  At what point and how did you come to believe that you needed a power greater than yourself to be restored to sanity?
5.  Any other related experiences to this topic? Insanity for me meant performing certain actions that made no sense.  For example I would log into game and spend hours and hours even though I knew I had other responsibilities to which I needed to attend.  I hated the fact that when I logged in I felt compelled to stay for hours, because I had found a good group in a good camp with good experience.  It was as if I my time was at the mercy of the game.  Also, towards the end, I was getting miserable in the game, because of a strained friendship I had, and even though I would get hurt and upset each time I talked to this person, I would continue to do so!  I'd end up more miserable than when I first logged on, yet I would keep repeating the same behavior, which is not sound.  I knew there was something wrong with all this, but I did not have it in me to stop logging in and talking to the same person.

Anyway, I knew that I needed a power greater than myself to overcome this self-defeating behavior of continuing to talk to someone who was abusive and also continuing to invest large chunks of time in game, which I could not afford.  I had tried to some degree to sever ties with the person, only to end up talking again, and the same attempts failed with regard to the game.  

However, from previous 12 step experience, I knew that my Higher Power would help me overcome both problems.  I knew deep within that of myself I didn't have what it competely took to overcome my problems but with faith and reliance on my faith I could:
a) In your journal, write down what makes you believe that your Higher Power can take away your gaming issue.
b) Than, write down any reservations that you have, regarding your Higher Power's ability to take away these issues.
c) Think about who your Higher Power is. Write down the attributes and characteristics of your Higher Power.

1/24/2015 - Edited for new website. Liz W.

Aryianna
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Re: Step 2

Ok, guys. Anything you'd like to share regarding this step?

Diggo McDiggity
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Re: Step 2

I think this is probably the step that most people have a problem with as it references a "higher power." I don't know why so many people have such an aversion to a higher power, or the word God, but yet if asked in public, most people will say that they are religious and/or spiritual. But then deniability is a big part of addiction, so it would make sense.
The insanity part is a Goya painting I once saw. It showed someone trying to rise out of this gloom of a black pond or lake, trying desperately to stretch and reach up and to get out. While numerous people were grabbing on holding, trying to pull him back in. That is EQ when someone decides that he wants to quit. As soon as he mentions this to his guild or friends, they just say, "Don't quit, just take some time off you'll feel better."

The result is a constant up and down emotional roller coaster that does not stop. To me that is the epitome of insanity.

To me, step 2 kind of says basically that you have to realize that it is going to take someone, something or some others who are stronger than you to help you out that you can't do it on your own. Many people have problems making that admission, but just around the corner is the road to healing, once they finally take a chance and ask for help.

Insanity is the right word for it. I think of how many people are still trying to escape from their pond of darkness only to be pulled back in, making them weaker and weaker and weaker.

Ron

Ron Jaffe AKA Diggo McDiggity
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Edited by: Diggo McDiggity at: 12/18/02 9:16:11 am

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Tosha (not verified)
Great analogy Ron. That is

Great analogy Ron. That is so true about the players not wanting anybody to actually quit. I admit I was guilty of this myself. When a really great friend quit for good, I did everything to keep him playing. Of course he quit for good reasons - saving his marriage, but I didn't want to lose my EQ buddy. When I think about it, the whole game was a source of insanity for me. I started playing to be close to an abusive boyfriend at the time. It soon became aparent that I didn't like playing with him, but loved playing the game. So the game didn't bring us closer, just the opposite. When the relationship ended badly, I retreated into the game so I wouldn't have to face my life - more insanity. And when the game became a very tedious job of running guilds, spell banks, and scheduling epic raids, I still played - more insanity. Like the slogan says - STOP THE INSANITY Tosha

Diggo McDiggity
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Re: Step 2

I know of a couple people when I played that actually become involved in an abusive relationship even though the relationship was only online.
It started when he was doing some kind of online slave auction type event...something really weird that I guess a bunch of people were doing on that server at the time. Well one of the couples hooked up and the girl fell in 'love' with him. It became apparent that their friendship had gone deeper and then we noticed that her posts were getting darker and darker and sadder and sadder. She eventually fessed up that she was being psychologically 'abused' and yet she stayed with him for over a year. Her self esteem had become so low that she couldn't face her real life friends and stayed in Norrath for most of her waking days.

I think she eventually broke out of it, but what a bad spot to be in. And we felt bad knowing that there was nothing that could be done about it. This is why I feel hesitant everytime someone says they are in an in-game relationship. You never really know who the person is on the other side of the keyboard, even after talking to them on the phone.

Ron

Ron Jaffe AKA Diggo McDiggity
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Aryianna
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Re: Step 2

Regarding in-game relationships, well I know Diggo knows my story. It was the insanity of that relationship that brought me to OLGA in the first place. I somehow developed this emotional attachment to another player and found myself having the same feelings after logging out of game. I think the insanity of it was that towards the middle of of our relationship, he started to treat me like crap and I wasn't able to disengage myself from him. I kept interacting with him and it felt like an emotional roller coaster. One day I'd be on cloud nine and the next I would be so terribly depressed and hurt by his actions. The sick part is I stayed with him: that was insanity.

Fortunately, through God's grace I finally got sick and tired of him mistreating me and I entirely left the game and ended communication with him.

Tosha (not verified)
Aryianna, I can totally

Aryianna, I can totally relate to your in-game relationship. I was with an abusive boyfriend, the one who introduced me to EQ, for 2 years. During the 2 years, I put up with a lot of sh*t including both physical, emotional abuse and him cheating on me several times. I just thank god that I didn't marry him. But it took a very violent episode where I had to get court orders for him to move out and a restraining order for the relationship to end. To this day, I have no idea why I stayed so long. It was not for financial reasons because i am the one who supported him. More like emotional something I thought I needed from him. Don't beat yourself up for that relationship. Just learn from it and move on as a better person. Tosha

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Re: Step 2

What's really scary is that I could define much of people's experiences in EQ as being insane. The bizarre twists and turns of relationships I saw in game were really strange.
The longer that I have been away from EQ, the easier it is to see this irrational behavior in others. I see it in so many posts too of those who criticize us, but it's no use trying to rationalize to those people...they have to hit that point where they are willing to open their eyes to their behavior.

Scary.

Ron

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Re: Step 2

I just had an experience. I was talking to a wise man at recoverychat. Told him I had problems with the second step (me being an atheist). I can't get past until I find that "higher power". He said "I tell my sponsees that they can choose a stop sign or what ever as long as they admit they are not in charge" I am holding on to that thought now. He also said in response to my - I want to find a gamer sponsor. "That if I am looking for something it sure is something is looking for me" "I just need to do the foot work"

I am almost (strike almost) crying with relief

Thank you

lizwool
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Re: Step 2

Hello Helene,

The longer you are in the program, and the more you talk to other people who are in it, you will start to understand How It Works.

How everything gels together is quite a miracle.

Liz

Liz Woolley

Shiva (not verified)
Helene, these are some

Helene, these are some beautiful words. Yes... in my eyes god is a stop sign too (though not limited to it) ;-) When I start playing I simply cannot stop. I can stop when I put an alarm clock next to my computer, so I prefer to "forget it". I loose track of time and responsibilities and missed appointments or work make me feel shame, so that I dive even deeper into the gaming. Thoughts of suicide arise regularly and my mind is cloudy and not my own. Its not sharp and buzzing with thoughts that do not belong to me. If that is not insanity, I dont know what is. And for me, I know exactly that it happens when I choose to forget HIM (or HER, or IT) :-) I cannot find my own way out, as every time I arise and drive that evil spirit out of my house it wanders over endless wastes and collects his friends and then returns and finds my house still empty... I need HIM to fill me up to the limit and beyond so that I can go around brimming with his light and share it with all the world around me again.

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Re: Step 2

So, I came.

So, I came to.

So, I came to believe.

So, I came to believe that God.

So, I came to believe that the God of my understanding.

So, I came to believe that the God of my understanding could.

So, I came to believe that the God of my understanding could restore me.

So, I came to believe that the God of my understanding could restore me to sanity.

Liz Woolley

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Re: Step 2

Step two is hard. For me, quitting gaming was a continual nightmare of determination, backsliding, and shame, over and over. I had hit step one years before, I knew I was powerless. I just didn't know how to get help, particularly when most people outside my small circle didn't believe that gaming addiction was real. So when I finally realized the power of steps 2 and 3, when I was ready, they made all the difference. It is NOT enough for the really hooked to get to step 1, and then try to quit. It isn't going to work. I NEED my higher power to help me, I can't do it alone. And come on, there are many among you who are relative atheists and have a moral problem with this step. But IMO there are many many more people who do believe that there is a god or gods and just use that atheist argument as an excuse to try to avoid reaching this step and going past it into the self-examination and atonement steps that come later. You know who you are. For some people the 12 steps are a guideline only. They functionally do the self-realization steps without rigidly doing 1 then 2 then 3. And for them, that's great. But there are those among us, and I count myself as one of them, for whom the actual steps are not optional. I had to go through step 2 before I could begin recovery. It wasn't fun. But I made it. You can too.

Leveling in Real Life

shiva
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Re: Step 2
Quote:

I NEED my higher power to help me, I can't do it alone.

Same here ... I actually suspect it is a devious divine ploy to finally get me to devote more of myself to it ... it it is so, it works itA's charm :D

lauramc
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Re: Step 2

My new want ad for a Higher Power: I want an HP who is loving
One who is caring and compassionate
One who is not judgemental
One who is the life force behind all things
One who appreciates nature
One who is my friend and companion
One who picks me up when I am down
One who is in me and works through me and others
One who binds and connects all things
One that connects me with the human race and the human condition
One that shows me my human qualities like a loving parent
One who loves me and protects me and keeps me safe
One who shows me the beauty of the world and the happiness and joy around me
One who fuels my passion and my creativity
One who can bear my anger and crises of faith
One with Wisdom
One who can grant me grace
One who takes me higher

J. DOe
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Re: Step 2

As an agnostic, I am not exactly sure of what my HP is much less the qualities that It possesses. However, I believe and hope that It has most if not all of the qualities that you, Laura, are looking for. Likewise, I hope that everyone else's HP can meet all of the want ad's requirements.

- John O.

[em]Carpe Diem![/em] (Seize the Day!)

John of the Roses
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Re: Step 2

Trust the process John

"There is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative." --W. Clement Stone

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Re: Step 2

This is just my own want ad, my personal concept of HP, you can get your own...LOL. If you like you can borrow some of mine, though. :)

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Re: Step 2

I found this interesting, Laura.A,A My new want ad for a Higher Power: I want an HP who is lovingA,A (You can be, to yourself and others)
One who is caring and compassionateA,A (You can be, to yourself and others)
One who is not judgemental (You can be to yourself and others)
One who is the life force behind all things (You can be, to yourself and others)
One who appreciates nature (You can)
One who is my friend and companion (You can be your own best friend)
One who picks me up when I am down (You can - although sometimes, if we are down, that is okay too.A,A We can accept ourselves just as we are.)
One who is in me and works through me and othersA,A (You)
One who binds and connects all things (You can)
One that connects me with the human race and the human condition (You can)
One that shows me my human qualities like a loving parent (You can be your own parent)
One who loves me and protects me and keeps me safe (You are the best person to do this for yourself)
One who shows me the beauty of the world and the happiness and joy around me (You can do this - open your eyes and see it)
One who fuels my passion and my creativity (You can do this.A,A What is your mission here on earth?A,A What makes you passionate?A,A Look in your heart, and see!)
One who can bear my anger and crises of faith (You can - accept yourself whereever you are at!)
One with Wisdom (You have it - know one knows you better, than yourself!)
One who can grant me grace (You can!)
One who takes me higher (You can!) You can do all of these things for yourself, Laura.A,A Isn't it amazing, what we can do for ourselves, if we give ourselves a chance?? Liz

Liz Woolley

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Re: Step 2

I just want to comment on the "Higher Power" stuff. I personally believe that I have this higher power inside my heart or somewhere in my physical being.A ;)
I don't know how to explain it without sounding like I'm from some strange sect BUT... when I'm in connection with my true inner self, my higher power, my source, THEN I choose what's good for me and I am a happier person. So it's not hard for me to believe in this Higher Power since I've felt it, within. And if I can't feel it, I can find a way to get back to it, usually by meditation or doing something that keeps me grounded. For me, right now when I'm struggling with not going back to the game I don't feel very connected, but I remember something that a friend in a 12-step program shared with me years ago. If you don't believe in God or a higher power, find something else. Go hug a tree if needed to!! Who knows. Maybe trees have ears too? I do know if I reach out to someone, ANYONE... God, a friend, a stranger on OLGA... I'm better off to be restored to sanity than with my own addicted mind trying to trick me. Find support anywhere! ------------------------ When I think about the questions asked in this step: 1. What kind of insane behavior or thinking can you identify in your own life that resulted from your online game addiction?
My thinking became so messed up with game addiction. But most important, it killed all my feelings from what was really important in my real life. It killed THE LOVE for all the important family and friends in my life, even the most important love for my children. Of course I LOVED them still but the feelings weren't there. :'( :'( It's so not worth going back!

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Re: Step 2

I will continue what I started yesterday, working on Step 2. I know I have to make the right choice for myself right now, and not listen to the urges and cravings to go back to SL. I DID go to the website for a few minutes, thinking I could read a blog or something, and then realize of course you have to sign up. There's no way! JUST FOR TODAY I WON'T!!! [color=Red]I am thinking what could really support me, is to actually do step-work, and also to reach out for support/ask for help[/color]. Somehow asking for help in this (and being honest) isn't very easy. Because the gamer wants her game, the online relationships and all the roleplay and excitements that comes from it. It's also a bit hard to ask for help in my rl therapy-training because I feel silly about this addiction I've noticed, and ashamed, which means deep in my heart I don't think it's a disease, or a real addiction. And if I still think I can control it, then it's not easy to ask for help, and it also makes me want to go back and moderate my time this time. Haha! Don't get me wrong, I'm not intending to sit here and whine, I'm just trying to organize my thoughts. And yes, I am powerless. This thing is occupying my mind way too much at the moment and I feel crazy today >:( So I ask a higher power for help, and I write here to let it out and also read other's posts to get support. Hopefully my posts can support someone else as well. I find it really helpful when people are honest with how they feel and think. I also know that I should not allow myself to dwell around in the cravings for too long, I need to focus on my recovery and do the work. Yikes, am I making sence at all? lol I did try to get some support even from a recoverychat with mostly people from AA but I find it's more triggering bad feelings than good, and that coming here is the best thing for me right now. Other than that I will look at the support I can get, and spend more time in my RL and not so much online. That is my goal at least. I will also write about what Liz suggested me (thanks Liz!!); 30 things I can do instead of gaming. I'll start with that tonight and then it's bedtime. I have an important meeting tomorrow. I am really happy for this place and a bit humble now when I realize it's such a struggle for me this addiction. I am grateful for the tools here so we can make progress. And do it together. hugs and love
Anne

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Re: Step 2

I'll post here, out of the general sight of people.
Yesterday I wanted to game sooooooooooo much.
I came here and posted and tried to chat, everyones gone, holidays.
I tried to download a free trial, yes, the 10 day one.
While i was at my NA meeting my cat stepped on the
power strip outlet my modem is plugged into and the download stopped.
A power greater than my self interveined. I can hear your struggle freeSpirit.
Step-work is essential to complete recovery.
There are those who don't work the steps and have stayed
moderately game free for many months and years, But to
stay resolved to stay away from the game, do the steps,
in order, one at a time.
Yes, you are making such wonderful sense :D Blessings

"There is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative." --W. Clement Stone

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Re: Step 2

John, you are so supportive, and I hope you get the support that's here for yourself as well. No matter how many posts you've made and how many days game-free! Please PM me anytime, and we can hook up in chat or whatever. If you need it. I can sure use the support myself. And just for today, I'm great. At this very moment called NOW. I have no idea about tonight, and won't worry about it either. I'm telling myself I am doing the best I can and doing well, and progressing. Thanks for being here John. Love Anne

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Re: Step 2
Quote:

While i was at my NA meeting my cat stepped on the
power strip outlet my modem is plugged into and the download stopped.
A power greater than my self interveined.

*laugh* I know these occurances... ;)

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Re: Step 2

Hi Anneli and John, I am so sorry that you guys are struggling at the moment with the cravings. They were hitting me pretty bad over the holidays, but since this thing with Gloria mostly I haven't even wanted to game although a few cravings have hit me from time to time. I am so happy for the steps, the program, and HP these days. I have been kind of on a first-name basis with HP of late. I haven't been quite sure what I have been praying for in terms of Gloria, but I have been praying. I have to admit there are some advantages to being in the state that I am in at the moment. Everything is crystal clear right now when I look at the day-to-day. Although I am totally confused about the overall picture, there is no confusion about each thing I have to do in front of me. That is an unusual state for me these days, but I feel that a path is in front of me and I must take it to be aligned with God's will (which is on to the next step I suppose). :) I TOTALLY love the cat thing, too. How cool is that? Yay, cat!

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Re: Step 2

Again Laura, it sounds wonderful. And it makes me think of november and early december when my grandfather died and I had ten thousand other things to do, and I didn't think much of gaming at all. It seems when there is chaos around me, I function pretty well, AND when things calm down, I need to create some chaos instead, or I'm bored or something... ;D I think there's some truth in this... A strong step 1-2 is what I recommend for me, even when things calm down. Maybe you can relate...

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Re: Step 2

I very much CAN RELATE, Anneli. I think now I truly get why every sponsor I have ever had has told me to go back to Steps 1,2,3 in times of crisis. I really GET THAT now on a much deeper level than I ever have before. I guess it's because that's really where you are at those moments and that is really where I am right now. Actually, it's not such a bad place to be. I can also relate to creating chaos in calmer times, too. I tend toward that as well. I am learning, slowly, not to create as much of it as I used to. The worst of my chaos usually involved a man somewhere in the picture. Today I am learning how to do things by myself for a little while. Not that I never want a man in my life, again. I just want to be at a point in my life where I do not have to make the man my Higher Power. One of these days I would like a relationship where it is truly a team effort and not one of us unloading baggage on the other and sucking the life out of each other. Anyway, I am rambling. :)

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Re: Step 2

lol Laura, I don't think you're rambling. You're manifesting what you want, by sharing. That's a powerful way to get a better life. *hugs* Love Anne

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Re: Step 2

I do believe that I literally lost some of my own sanity in this. Part of it was self-control. I always believed that if I got this new game I would be better about managing my time, and every time I would fail. This is how I realized that I was powerless (step 1). However, due to my loss of self-control and the constant hours spent playing various games my mind became saturated with the games themselves. I can replay certain battles from Medieval War in my head. I can recall actions taken in Battlefield 2. I would have dreams of doing things one could only do in those games. I wasnaEU(tm)t dreaming of playing, I was literally dreaming the game. Soon my work began to suffer. Instead of focusing on my job I was focusing on the games. Planning what I would do when I got home, working on strategies and puzzles. This hinders my performance and my accuracy (I work with money). My social life suffered. I didnaEU(tm)t know how to talk to someone unless it was about computer games. I couldnaEU(tm)t carry on a real conversation.
The more I played the less I focused on Christ. I used to be a very Christ centered person, a small group was helpful, but the more I played the less I cared or considered. So not only was I subject to a video game, I was under a sort of mental domination. I have come to the realization that I am at the mercy of God in this. I have no power whatsoever when it comes to this addiction and I am putting my trust in God. I have sought refuge in other things, some sensual, some in other forms of entertainment, but all proved to be useless and only made the situation worse. God, or if you want to call Him my HP, is the only one who can restore to me the sanity I had before games became a major part of my life.

-Joshua
Merry Christmas!

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Talk about hitting the nail

Talk about hitting the nail on the head... I spent years of my life repeating the same wash/repeat formula, and was SHOCKED when, time after time, it didn't work. MMOs had me by the throat. After a long period of intense denial and fighting the truth, the Lord lifted the veil from my eyes and showed me just how far down I had gone. When I was in high school, I was at church every Sunday and Wednesday. I had my daily devotionals, and spent copious amounts of time discussing God with my friends, whether or not they were Christians. Like Shinjaon, I used to be such a Christ-centered person. Everyone knew I was a Christian. Not just because I talked about it, but because I LIVED it. For the past 4 years, I've barely darkened the door of a church. My wife and I have gone maybe 30 or 40 times since I began my addiction to MMOs. I would be tired on Sunday, so I just wouldn't go. Little did I know that my only saving grace was waiting at that church. The less I went, the less I focused on God, the worse I got. It even got to a point that I almost relapsed into pornography (I had struggled with it for many many years). I can't believe that I've let my passion for Christ sit on the backburner for so long, and to be honest, the flame still isn't burning as bright as it was. If anyone has any words of inspiration for me, please help me out. I need the Lord's help now more than ever. God Bless, -Derrick-

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Isn't it interesting,

Isn't it interesting, Derrick- the further you got from the Chruch, from Christ, and your walk with God, that the addiction got worse? If you read your post back, it's very clear who and what your Higher Power is. Since it's also clear you wife is as devout as you once were- show your post to her- then, beg her to make sure you get back to church- every week, Sundays at least. I'm ashamed to say myself, I haven't been to church since my wife threw me out 4 months ago- but I talk to God every day (8 hours of solo work a night can be a blessed thing :D ) and I heard Him reply to my cries: This is not your life. This is not how I intended you to live. Your life is yours to go out and live- truely live. Rise up, and live it. That was the night before I came to this site. The night before I begged my wife to give me the time I needed to change before she decides to leave me for good. Those are the best words I can give you, Derrick- Your life is yours to go out and live- Rise up, and live it. To do anything else is maddness. .... Maybe I should take my own advice.

Desire to Stop
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I think I outlined my

I think I outlined my insanity quite well in my 1st step post so I won't go through it again here--you can just check it out there. I don't know any other ways to do this, so what I take from the AA Big Book I will change the wording to be gaming-relative. But what I am going to try to do here is grapple with whether or not I think God (translate that word however you see fit, I'm only talking about my concept of a Higher Power, and the word "God" no longer irritates me the way it once did) can help with this, if I can be willing to believe that. p. 46 Yes, we of agnostic temperament... I was told once a long time ago that being an alcoholic meant that I had an agnostic temperament. That even if I could make it through steps 2 & 3, there might continue to be times that I would display the temperament of an agnostic, although intellectually I would tell you that I was fine thank you very much, and had no issues with the whole Higher Power "thing". But in reality I might *act* like an agnostic. And that's what an agnostic temperament is, acting like I'm not sure if God exists, acting like I'm not sure if God can or will help. My agnostic temperament has led me to all the things I outlined in my 1st step post--my own efforts to try to moderate or even quit gaming have failed, and likewise my own attempts to moderate or improve my life while I'm under the influence of gaming addiction have failed. p 46 Let us make haste to reassure you. We found that as soon as we were able to lay aside prejudice and express even a willingness to believe in a Power greater than ourselves, we commenced to get results, evn though it was impossible for any of us to fully define or comprehend that Power, which is God. OK good, because I get very lost when I try to figure out who or what God is, do I want to call "it" God, etc. Whatever vague concept I need will work, and if I don't like mine, I'll borrow yours. p 46 Our own conception, however inadequate, was sufficient to make the approach and to effect a contact with Him. As soon as we admitted the possible existence of a Creative Intelligence, a Spirit of the Universe underlying the totality of things, we began to be possessed of a new sense of power and direction, provided we took other simple steps. My AA sponsor tells me those other simple steps are taking the 12 steps but I'M NOT GONNA WORRY ABOUT THAT NOW! p 44 To be doomed to an addictive gamer's death or to live on a spiritual basis are not always easy alternative to face. p 48 Faced with addictive gaming destruction, we soon became as open minded on spiritual matters as we had tried to be on other questions. p 53 When we became addictive gamers, crushed by a self-imposed crisis we could not postpone or evade, we had to fearlessly face the proposition the either God is everything or else He is nothing. God either is, or He isn't. What was our choice to be? OK, ok, my own measures have done nothing, gone no where. And if I don't stop this soon I do believe I am doomed. p. 47 We needed to ask ourselves but one short question. "Do I now believe, or am I even willing to believe that there is a Power greater than myself?" Yes, I am willing to believe there is a power greater than myself. p 47 As soon as a man cay say he does believe or is willing to believe, we emphatically assure him that he is on his way. It has been repeatedly proven among us that upon this simple cornerstone a wonderfully effective structure can be built. OK, so counting my work here as done on this step, although since I still have the agnostic temperament, I will have to return to this again and again and again. I'm having waves of relief and a sinking feeling. The sinking feeling isn't bad, it's just driving home how sick I have been, how out of control I have been, and how desperately far from God I've been.

Cheers, Desire to Stop
ALL quoted text (unless otherwise stated) comes from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous (with wording sometimes changed only to make it more relevant for gaming addiction). I will include page numbers.

Hoping & praying for a measure of recovery for all of us today.

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As best that I can

As best that I can understand Step 2, gaming addiction fueled my insanity of not being responsible for my financial obligations. Gaming addiction also took over the time I should have spent maintaining a healthy lifestyle of exercise and healthy eating habits. On the weekends when my mom would make dinner I would often not even go to the table to have dinner because my gaming would take precedence. My gaming addiction also fueled a fear of meeting people. I still have a fear of even going outside to get fresh air because a neighbor may see me. I believe the Higher Power can restore me to sanity. How and when that happens I just don't know yet.

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Step 2:  Came to believe

Step 2: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

Yes, I came to believe. on my knees, crying, pleading for the help of my HP. I had quit many times,thought it was over...then ..i went back..quit again..went back again..over and over. I couldnt do it by myself. I cant do it by myself.

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Step 2:  Came to believe

Step 2: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

At first, I thought "How can I do this step, when I don't believe in God?". Then I read through what other people have said, and found a different way to consider this step.

"A power greater than ourselves" is not necessarily an entity of some sort. A power can be an intangible thing, like love. Through the power of love, I can learn to overcome my addiction.

If I can learn to love who I am, the real me who is not under the influence of video games, then I will be a stronger person for it. In a sense, I can free inner myself by loving me.

The love our of family and friends can lift us up from the darkness. To know that people care about us and support us gives us a power greater than any other.

"A power greater than ourselves" can be the power of community. The power that others who know what we are going through, who share their stories and strengths with us, to encourage and inspire us to stay strong in our pleight.

I have what I would call a kind of "Eastern" view of spirituality. I believe in "chi" or "ki", a spirital energy that exists in all things. I believe that one can cultivate and strengthen one's chi/ki with physical activity, mental focus, and spiritual meditation. By becoming stronger physically, mentally and spiritually, we can become more confident about ourselves and our capabilities in dealing with not only addictions, but life in general.

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One thing I noticed about

One thing I noticed about this step is that there are alot less posts then Step 1. I guess some people have a harder time to admit something is wrong and do something.

Questions and suggestions for discussion
1. What kind of insane behavior or thinking can you identify in your own life that resulted from your online game addiction?

I would get on edge and antsy when doing things in real life. I wouldn't spend quality times on problems because I would be wanting to play. Sometimes I would play expecting different results. There was a games needed basis instead of lifes needed basis.

2. Look at your FEAR.
What does it stand for, for you?
***** Everything and Run
Or
Face Everything and Recover

At times I want to escape reality because it seems tough but I think growing up I just developed alot of fear that didn't have basis in reality. I have to remind myself that sometimes my perception is not based on reality or is misrepresented. Its good to escape sometimes but not all the time.

3. Site examples where you, yourself, were unable to overcome the unsound behavior and thoughts and your fear.

I was able to overcome fear by slugging or working through it. Sometimes getting through it was alot easier than I thought. Sometimes my brain was an enemy.

4. At what point and how did you come to believe that you needed a power greater than yourself to be restored to sanity?

I think we all need a little help from our friends. Sometimes that is God, sometimes councillars. In order to master anything we need to be taught. Maybe some of were never taught what we needed to know to deal with something.

5. Any other related experiences to this topic?

I guess what stands out is abuse in younger relationships gave me a distorted view of life. I'm trying to form an undistorted one or one based more in reality. I think love helps me alot to learn, when ppl come from love.

a) In your journal, write down what makes you believe that your Higher Power can take away your gaming issue.

My higher power can take away my gaming issue because I can talk to him/them and get the help I need.

b) Than, write down any reservations that you have, regarding your Higher Power's ability to take away these issues.

I don't have reservations other than I need to work with my higher power to change

c) Think about who your Higher Power is. Write down the attributes and characteristics of your Higher Power.

Understanding

Loving

Direct

Helpful

My rock

[color=blue]Edited for by-passing the language sensor[/color]

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The HP stuff I'm fine with,

The HP stuff I'm fine with, but this is what I have a problem with:

Aryianna wrote:

2. Look at your FEAR.

I don't know what my fear is. I've tried going through my head, and even writing down what I think, but it's just not coming to me.

Now I know it probably will take a while to figure it out. So, I could any of you tell me what you did to find your fear, what it was, and how long it took? You know only if anybody wants to. I just think maybe talking/listening to others about what went on with them would help me.

Thanks,

Billy

It is our neglect to speak out on injustice that will ruin us as a people and as a nation. We the people cannot sit and watch this politcal game go unheeded any longer. http://www.movetoamend.org

John of the Roses
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Finding out and dealing with

Finding out and dealing with our fears is really presented in step four thoroughly. And really, doing steps with a sponsor is really the best avenue to tread. May you be blessed on your healing journey.

"There is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative." --W. Clement Stone

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John speaks truth about Step

John speaks truth about Step 4 as a means to identify and prepare to work with our fears through the action steps. For me personally, doing the 2nd step didn't really involve doing a lot of delving on fears, short of trying to make peace with the idea of a benevolent higher power, something I could work with, that I didn't have to understand it, etc.

A thought I have is that regarding the 2nd step, the AA Big Book talks about the agnostic temperament of the addict mind. Originally I didn't think that was applicable to me because I was a theist of some sort or another, so clearly I couldn't be an agnostic. But then I was told that an agnostic temperament means I might be inclined to sometimes act as if I'm unsure there is a God/HP/Benevelent Outcome.

I also had a sponsor who liked to try to narrow in on whether it was fear or pride that was hanging me up in any area by asking me, "So which is it--fear or pride? Fear says 'I can't', but Pride says 'I won't' ." She told me that typically if I was balking at taking right action it was one of the two.

Cheers, Desire to Stop
ALL quoted text (unless otherwise stated) comes from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous (with wording sometimes changed only to make it more relevant for gaming addiction). I will include page numbers.

Hoping & praying for a measure of recovery for all of us today.

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I found myself repeating the

I found myself repeating the same behaviors thinking in my head that there would be some form of better outcome. I now know that I was insane on many accounts.

How could I have played my games thinking I wouldn't be held responsible for my actions? I was completely irrational.

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There is a Sufi image I

There is a Sufi image I would like to share with you.

Imagine for a moment that you are a candle. The flame of the lit candle is what unites you with God. Notice that a candlestick has a small amount of shadow around its base, and that a flame burning but hidden deep within a candle will create more shadow before it snuffs itself out.

These candles are too thick, built in such a way that their bodies, their waxen Selves, crowd out the light of the candle and drown the flame of unity with God. Trim your candle. Shave off those parts that would drown out your flame. For if we are to shine in the shadow, if we are to bring light to the darkness, it must be with the understanding that we are destroying those parts of our selves that prevent unity with God.

That is the choice we are asked to make in this life. Can we shed parts of who we are in order to become a part of the God that created us?

We can pray for help, and it will come. Help that pares us, that bares our souls and re-lights our candle's flame, showing others while we can the way of spreading light, and not shadow. Light your flame. Share your flame. Understand that God created us waxen in order to give us the opportunity to choose unity with Him.

It is insanity, say the waxen guildies, to destroy your Self. If it is so, then I am insane for I desire to be the flame of unity with God, for that flame to consume my waxen self that in a moment I might burn without shadow.

This Step suggests the opposite: that it is insane to choose wax over flame; that by submitting to the urges of pixel-induced endorphins we reduce our flame and increase the Shadows around us. And that humbly asking for Light, for another chance; by working to change the shapes into which we have molded ourselves; by resolve to be a source of light and hope and not a source of more darkness and confusion we can overcome our waxen selves and be a beacon to those who would choose unity with God.

Be the flame. Nurture the flame. Let your Self be devoured in showing others that way.

namo.bhagavate
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Step 2: I truly do have

Step 2: I truly do have faith in the divine, and know that the divine loves me. It is now my job to open the shutters and let the sunlight of love in, so I can restore my sanity.

1. What kind of insane behavior or thinking can you identify in your own life that resulted from your online game addiction?

Sitting up late, waking up early, skipping work, playing at work, neglecting food.. the list is horribly long, but it is surely insanity because the behavior is clearly not rational

2. Look at your FEAR. What does it stand for, for you?

I do fear that I will lose everything that I have now - beautiful wife, lovely family, a high paying job, a fast moving career.. all because of this silly games. I am willing to now surrender my fear, and my pain to the divine.

3. Site examples where you, yourself, were unable to overcome the unsound behavior and thoughts and your fear.

Similar to (1) above - playing all night for me is absolutely unsound. Pretending to "work from home" in the basement and playing bridge (card game) or watching TV shows on computer is all unsound and irresponsible behavior.. oddly during the activity there seems no fear because it draws you in .. and then when I come out there is huge amount of guilt which lowers my energy even further

4. At what point and how did you come to believe that you needed a power greater than yourself to be restored to sanity?

In 2004 when I did the Art of Living course and then followed up with a few other "Art of Silence" courses. I have already overcome addiction in the past VERY successfully when I went through the Art of Living course. I could certainly feel the divine energy in me and when my prana was high, I am capable of doing a LOT.. Also I have been trained in intensive meditation via the Art of Living, so I have awesome techniques, which if I apply will help me get back to my true, free, lovely nature.

a) In your journal, write down what makes you believe that your Higher Power can take away your gaming issue.

Because very simply the supreme has infinite power and my addiction is like a small speck of dust in this infinite conciouness. So if I can connect to that super energy, it will certainly go away for good. In the past my consistency and commitment was lacking.. Now I am EXTREMELY determined

b) Than, write down any reservations that you have, regarding your Higher Power's ability to take away these issues.

None - it would be insane to doubt the divine.. I have a lot of faith and I am blessed

c) Think about who your Higher Power is. Write down the attributes and characteristics of your Higher Power.

My higher power is Durga Devi who is known to cut off the head of the wrong doers and in this case the head is my ego and my superficial mind which seeks this garbage. I offer all of this garbage to the divine, and she will take it away, because all this problem is obviouusly only in the head. My Guru who will lead me to this divine is Sri Sri Ravishankar who himself is strongly connected to the infinite cosciousness.. so for me Guruji is like a live wire to connect to the "main power line"

Durga Devi is ruthless and makes me surrender with her magnificence - she is extremely powerful because she has powers from all the Gods. Sri Sri Ravishankar is a friend to me despite having millions of followers throughout the 142 countries the practice is taught in. He is loving, charming, full of live, hardworking, intelligent, funny - and an ocean of love, compassion and knowledge

I think this covers step 2

Love,

Namo Bhagavate Vasudevaya

Cheers,

- Freedom Seeker

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...

...

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  Submission: I quit gaming

Submission:

I quit gaming during periods, because I completely drained all possible options of the game. I would get bored by it. But new games would come, and I would try them. There are always new games, and they can be obtained so easily through the web. I always feared games like WoW, because I knew I would play it obsessively, like any game that I play, and it would probably get me to destruction as it is without finish.

During difficult periods in my life the games would call me more than ever. Even the games that I had played endlessly already, I would pick them up again and play, play, play.

I could not stop, I tried many times, I tried to moderate, but the clock that I had set, I would ignore it. It got me desperate, really desperate. I felt hopeless.

Then I joined OLGA. What a relieve that was. I suppose that OLGA is my greater power, you all are my greater power. And the feeling of helplessness, hopelessness and worthlessness went away. (Writing this, thinking about meeting OLGA makes my eyes watery. Finding this place somehow liberated me of my feelings of isolation and loneliness. It is definitely a turning point.)

Questions and suggestions for discussion

1. What kind of insane behavior or thinking can you identify in your own life that resulted from your online game addiction?

Skipping social meetings, not calling my loved ones back, making excuses and lying.

Choosing to live in isolation and at the same time feeling so incredibly lonely.

Getting offended and angry with loved ones when they point out to me that I am playing way too much.

2. Look at your FEAR. What does it stand for, for you?

Fear of not being able to influence or change something: My long relationship was going bad, with a lot of verbal fights. I never fought with anyone, sure I can get irritated, but this was of a completely different scale. The fighting was so unreasonable, and did not stop, there was no compromise, and no peace was reached. How could something that started so beautiful turn so bad. We did not match, and there was nothing we could do about it.

This led to gaming, as an escape, not thinking about the subject.

Fear of not being loved or liked: In university I sometimes had the feeling that I was studying not for my own future, but for the professor that needed to like me. I want people to like me.

This led to stress, and as an escape I had gaming. (procrastination)

Fear of not being capable (not being able to do something): Can I really do the work that they want me to do? Am I smart enough? Can I really contribute something to that project?

This led to stress, and as an escape I had gaming. (procrastination)

Fear of going back to gaming, as this will screw up everything.

3. Site examples where you, yourself, were unable to overcome the unsound behavior and thoughts and your fear.

Countless examples. Anything that interfered with me and my game. Desire to game came when I needed to do a job, homework, whatever, and I gave in to that so often.

4. At what point and how did you come to believe that you needed a power greater than yourself to be restored to sanity?

I needed help, I was thinking that I needed help for a long time already. Sometimes I would be clean for a while, and then I would forget all about the fact that I had a 'problem-with-gaming'. Then I would start to game again. Finally I went to a psychologist, but weeks passed and I kept relapsing, it was not going well. After another big weekend relapse I was so fed up with myself again, that I decided to sign up on OLGA. Then I experienced something that you might call 'a greater power'.

"I want to see people and I want to see life."

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Sigh... I guess I fit into

Sigh...

I guess I fit into this step. I'm not going to say I'm an Atheist or an Agnostic, or try to avoid any confession to what I believe in.

More so its my past that makes me reluctant to rely on my Higher Power. I didn't make it through everything because I was sent someone or had anything to look up to. I survived my past completely alone and for a while my only real friend was an online game.

But I guess this fits my mom's thought process that Best Friends can be your Worst Enemies.

For a long time I've looked into myself to get through problems because I viewed myself as a Survivor over all else, relied on my thought processes, and my judgement instead of looking to others for strength. I never had anyone to lean on or support me except my Mother, but even then that was only for certain points through school, everything else I had to look at myself and adapt.

But I can't say I'm my own Greater Power, that'd be, I think paradoxical?

I guess I'll need to look into something besides myself for help.

Why does that sound harder to do than just telling myself to stash my console into a safe and randomize the combination so I don't know it?... :(

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well trade the game for the

well trade the game for the g-d of your chose?

it may sound crazy, but hardly worse than what we had going for us until now:)

leveling in steps, serenity, sponcys, sponsors, exercise, and sleep, (sanity has been downsized)
sober from all electronic games since 11/19/2010

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hi! time ago i was in a big

hi! time ago i was in a big hole and i was trying to get out, i heard about 12 steps but the higher power was a problem for me becouse i was atheist, i only knew that i wanted to stop playing, even if i have to believe in god, then i started to act like if i believe in god and working on the first steps, and then everything in my life was changing, i felt so much better at the time, and i didnt need to play day to day, the empty inside my was fading, i realized how beautiful was that, i felt so happy and grateful for all i had, didnt know what to do ''jump?,laugh,cry,shout, feelings and motivation came from nowhere.

for me THAT was a big spiritual experience and all that became god for me, no religion, or jesus or churchs atached , it was pure essence, and i love it.

that is what i can share, thanks for reading.

Kate1song
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Desire to Stop wrote: I
Desire to Stop wrote:

I also had a sponsor who liked to try to narrow in on whether it was fear or pride that was hanging me up in any area by asking me, "So which is it--fear or pride? Fear says 'I can't', but Pride says 'I won't' ." She told me that typically if I was balking at taking right action it was one of the two.

For some reason this really resonates...

pete1 (not verified)
Dear Mega, I love what you

Dear Mega,

I love what you wrote! I was an atheist too. And sometimes I still think as an atheist.

But that big hole was too big for me to get out of on my own, so I too asked for help.

We have a saying: 'fake it until you make it'.

I did like you did and tried to believe in a power greater than myself, and like you there was no Jesus, or Virgin Mary or Moses or any of the stuff from the religion of my youth which I left behind so long ago.

I found a 'spirit of the universe' kind of idea. And this helped me overcome my addiction.

- pete

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Or, I have tried my own take

Or, I have tried my own take on spirituality. I move it and shape it until I make it my own, then I keep and protect it.

Mario

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Ok, I think I'm ready for

Ok, I think I'm ready for step 2... I told everyone close to me (including my mother) that I am a gaming addict and to do that, I told myself, first.

Yeah I know insanity. I would keep logging in to my game (second life) and spend hours upon hours until I was nearly ill, playing, trying to fulfill what was missing in my life and secretly knowing it was never going to be found in game, and then logging off at times feeling so defeated I wanted to give up, yet I kept going back. That's insanity in my books. Also the insanity for me was the obsessive urge to play even when I didn't want to, or knew I shouldn't. I felt overcome by that insanity.

So, step 2 is admitting that I can't overcome this insanity by myself? Yep! I raise my hand and admit that one, easily. My higher power is my faith in destiny and the belief that we all have a reason to be on this earth. To overcome the insanity is to acknowledge that my life can only improve, and that my destiny is certainly not supposed to be one spent living in front of a screen. I have faith that good things will come of this effort.

~S

"I love my computer because my friends live in it." ~unknown~

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