After 10+ years of enabling an addict husband, a failed marriage therapy(same issue) and the birth of our 3rd child, I finally asked his to choose between us-his family or his mistress: the playstation. I thank God he chose us. It's been a week since he locked it up and he has been extremely sick and still in-denial that the illnesses were withdrawal symptoms. During this period, he has been very cold towards me and I remember him saying that I was punishing him. I just wanted to know if there's anyway that i could help him during this withdrawal phase? Or is it better to just leave him alone and give him space? Secondly, what activities or hobbies can you suggest that is a better substitute for gaming? How can we prevent a relapse? I really want to save our marriage and our family and Im afraid that this might be our last chance.
MJ
Welcome MJ
How to support him with withdrawals; he is bound to be cranky so accepting that and not reacting could be a helpful tactic. this thread may help you understand more
http://www.olganon.org/forum/discussion-spousessignificant-others-olg-anon-members-only/about-giving-support-when-addict
It sounds like he may only be changing his behaviour to please you and he is in denial about it being an addiction, so the process will not be straight forward. This addiction is very strong and even if a gamer wants to quit for themself it can still be very very hard
Recovery can be aided if he is willing to seek support for himself by using this website or others or finding an addiction therapist. There are online meetings for addict gamers (see link in my signature and also advice about relapsing. SOmetimes relapse can be part of the process and not a failure, if he can learn from it.
WE often suggest that the spouse detaches from worrying about whether the spouse games or not , as your upset can be used as an excuse to game. You cannot make him recover; that is up to him. You just need to know what your own boundaries are regarding staying in the relationship. Therapy to find out what that might mean may be helpful for you.
My best advice is to keep coming back to read the forums to find what resonates with you. There are no right answers as each case is different. We only put forward suggestions of what has helped others.
Activities; what did you do before the playstation took over ? Go shopping for groceries together, local community events, church activities, volunteer work. Relating to real people is an important part of getting away from addictive behaviour. http://www.olganon.org/forum/ongoing-recovery-and-progress-gamers-open-forum/what-i-did-today-not-game
All those emotions you feel are perfectly natural reactions. Hugs to you, coping with this addiction sucks.
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