I've looked at some other people's progress reports and thought this might be helpful to me. So here it goes...
It rained all night so my plans of sunrise on the beach didn't happen so I spent the day procrastinating studying while playing guitar, doing laundry and cleaning my room. I was sitting at the front desk of my building talking to my friend who was working his shift and I saw the girl I spent the previous night studying with's ex-boyfriend come down the stairs and leave the building followed by her 5 mins later. She got excited when she saw me and told me she knows she nailed her test and that she definitely wouldn't have done it without me and that we need to celebrate when she was back from getting food. I stopped by her room a couple hours later where she was drinking with a couple friends playing King's cup. I played with them for a while and she was being flirty and giving all the signs that let me know she was interested so despite me never asking a girl out somewhere in front of other people (it usually gives me bad anxiety and makes me very uncomfortable) I asked her if she'd let me take her out. She said that she wasn't in a good place for it right now as she was still getting over her breakup with her ex (which I had figured was a possibility) and stressed how honest she was being about it. But she was still really flirty (though she's one of those girls that has a lot of guy friends so I thought maybe I just misread the signs). Well I shrugged it off and tried to not let it bother me. She is a really cool girl and a lot of fun to hang with regardless. After her and her friends left to go to the club (I was on duty in my building so I had to stay here) I was left wondering about her response so I text her asking for peace of mind if she wasn't dealing with a breakup if she would have let me take her out and she replied immediately with a yes. So I was pretty happy about that. Just gonna be persistent (it pays off in my experience) and keep doing my thing. I played some guitar until I finally passed out around 3:30. Have a bunch of studying to do over the weekend so I'm just gonna focus on that for now but I'm feeling good.
Thursdays mean clinical rotations for me (I'm in my last semester of nursing school). I was out of my place by 6:00 and in the hospital from 6:30am-7pm. I've been working in the CVICU which is where all the open heart surgery patients go as well as some people with other cardiac conditions in the most critical condition. I can't talk about my patient due to HIPAA laws but it was a good day. I enjoy the rotation and the unit. Got home and this girl I've had my eye on for almost a year now, was sitting in my lounge studying with one of my residents. I've thought this girl was absolutely gorgeous with the most breathtaking smile since I first saw her last year but she was always with some guy who I learned to be her boyfriend at the time. She moved into my building a couple months ago and I learned that they'd recently broken up. So I went into my lounge to say hi to my resident and get an opportunity to talk to her. We really hit it off. My resident wound up leaving after a couple minutes and the two of us spoke for an hour and a half before deciding to go get some pizza. We spent an hour or so at the pizza place talking and then came back to the dorms where I helped her study over a couple beers. We called it a night about 3:30ish but I had no real urge to game, especially when I was talking to her.
Woke up again at 6:15. Used the bathroom turned my lights off, got undressed and set an alarm for 7:20 so I could wake up for class. Back to sleep. Woke up at 7:45 after sleeping through both alarms. Felt very blah and still exhausted. Emailed my professor telling her I was sick and went back to sleep until 12:15. I woke up an decided to call my mother and let her know what's been going on. My mother is currently pursuing a doctorate in social work and runs a practice dealing with troubled children. I told her about my addiction and explained what was happening with me and she was very supportive. She told me she's had clients who've been kicked out of school because their gaming addictions were so out of hand and tht she'd long suspected I had a gaming addiction but that because I was functioning and had been out of her house for so long, she didnt feel the need to bother me about it outside of an occasional comment that I admittedly snapped at her over anytime it was brought up. It's 2pm now and I've gone more than 48 hours without gaming. I feel good. Still having urges but trying to remind myself what else I can do to fill the void. I've got plenty of studying to do today and I plan to be at today's meeting. Ill be working a 12 hour shift in the hospital tomorrow so I'm not worrie about urges then but I currently feel excited and a sense of freedom. I have no idea how I'll spend my non- studying time but that excites the hell out of me. It means I have freedom to get my life organized and get things done. I've seen people talk about how making lists can help so I think I'll try that. See you all tonight at the meeting.
I had a test in the morning. Woke up extra early to finish studying and then had 6 hours of lecture. Tons of compulsions to game but I filled them with time scrolling OlGA and posting on the forums. After class, I went to my boss's office (Im a resident assistant on campus. I help supervise the residence halls in exchange for room and board and a meal plan). I felt that I should tell him what I had decided to do and about my addiction. He was very surprised but also very supportive. I notified him of the potential side effects so that he was aware of what was happening if my behavior changed. Ran into my best friend and former roommate afterwards and spent a little time talking. He began to bring up video games and i stopped him explaining what i had decided to do. it took him a minute and some further explanation, as well as me comparing our gaming habits when we lived together. Im not sure he fully understood but he'd also never known video gam addiction was real. He was extremely upportive regardless and that felt great to know i had such a goo friend's support. Spent the next hour talking with a female friend of mine outside of my building and enjoying the beautiful weather outside. She's a photographer and had mentioned wanting to shoot the sunrise on the beach so we made plans for Friday morning to head down there so she can get some awesome shots. I'm thinking ill go for a run on the beach while she shoots or bring my guitar to add some music and set a chill mood for her shoot. I'm excited about it. I didn't make it to a meeting last night unfortunately but I also barely made it out of the university's dining hall. I can remember sitting on my bed at 730 to take my shoes off and the next thing I remember is waking up fully clothed at 2am with the lights on. I couldn't even move I was so tired so fully clothed and lights on, I went back to sleep.
Played a mobile game for about an hour ending about 11:00am. Spent the rest of the day studying for my test and scrolling the OLGA forums. Attended my first meeting. It was very therapeutic to share and get so much love and support from the whole community. Spoke to SheeshMode about a sponsor and he offered to sponsor me to which I accepted. After the meeting, I called a close friend of mine who's been in AA for a while and has 3 years sober. I told him about my addiction and we spent some time comparing the compulsions we have to drink and game and we were both very surprised to find that our behaviors and mindsets toward our addiction were near identical, despite having very different vices. I asked my friend if he would be a face to face sponsor for me as I felt it would be beneficial to have someone I'm so close with and have face to face interaction with as well as having an online sponsor. He agreed, telling me that I had talked him down from his drinking more times than he could count when he was in recovery and would be delighted to do the same for me. We talked about the importance of complete abstinence and frequenting meetings, especially in the beginning. After our conversation, I also notified my little brother and ex gf (who tried countless times to show me my addiction). It felt good to get the weight off my chest. I deleted all games off my phone, with the exception of a Spanish language game. It's been the most effective way for me to practice my Spanish as I'm trying to learn and I don't foresee it having a trigger effect given the nature of the "game" if you can call it that. I told my buddy what I'd done and we had a good laugh about how out of all the games I refused to give up, it had been the Spanish game. I have yet to play it as I'm unsure how the community feels about an educational program in the form of a game, however, I'm in nursing school in Miami and it is very beneficial from a patient care perspective. Would actually love some feedback on this one.
Found OLGA. Spent the day reading forum posts and other people's stories. Felt very empathetic towards all and realized that I am, without shadow of a doubt, a gaming addict as I suspected. I'd already missed the meeting for the day but spent the next day scrolling and posting replies. Still unsure if I was ready to abstain.