Daily Count Up and Accountability

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planner
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Tough day

In the last two days, i haven't had enough energy to sit on my computer and read. I was not able to memorise new words as i used to before one week. I was lucky because i had to do some duties which forced me to stay outside my house. i spent around 4 hours yesterday on facebook and internet and had some time daydreaming. i knew that those are serious signs before temptations to game hit. Today and as i expected lots of virtual images came to my mind and i could not switch my thinking away from them. I couldn't recall all the pain i had while i was gaming and i even forgot what i use to tell others what to do when urges hit. Simply, my mind was shut down and lost the ability to function and surrendered to those gaming images.
I started to think about installing the game that suit the daydreams i thought about yesterday. A very little part left in my head filled with images of myself being jobless which caused me to go and try to contact one of the fellowships members. He replied to me quickly even it was 5 am where he lives (i didn't know this). Chatting with him was extremely helpful. It helped me to see more images about how awful gaming life is. My mind cleared more after I called another fellow member while I was walking in the park. I think I am going to be fine today and hopefully tomorrow will be easier.

"Recovery is not about dealing with gaming. Recovery is about dealing with Life"

McPhee
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Nice move!

planner, good job seeing the triggers and observing your thoughts and feelings and, most importantly, taking action to get some support and avoid gaming. That was huge! You really can gain power over this. Every day you go without gaming makes it easier to go another day without gaming.,

If you're having trouble recalling why you don't want to game, you might consider jotting down your reasons and keeping it handy. Some people make a Cost Benefit Analysis, writing down the costs in one column and the benefits in another. You can do one for gaming and another for not gaming. I put mine on my phone so it would always be nearby. It's saved me a time or two, and it can certainly clarify the whole business in your mind.

Quitting gaming is about getting away from something bad, and also about getting into something better. Thinking about how screwed up life is when you're spending 16 hours a day gaming is a good motivator to get away from that life. The positive side is something to think about too. My life since I quit gaming is much, much better. It's great. I feel so alive and ready to try to get the most out of existence. And it keeps getting better after seven months way from gaming. So keep trying. You're going to love life without gaming!

I'm good today. No plans to game.

wazzapp
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Yeah selfpity is definately a

Yeah selfpity is definately a trigger for me. Im going to try what u suggest

thanks, no plans to game

Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3

 

McPhee
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Doing well

I am fine today. No plans to game. Thanks to all for your help with that. I could not have done it without this community, I believe. For sure, I *didn't* do it before I starting taking advantage of Olga. So all of you really mean a lot to me. You have given me back my life. Much appreciated, to say the least.

wazzapp
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Happy to have you here, this

Happy to have you here, this forum wouldnt be the same without u McPhee, always encouraging and helping people to see the upside of life.

I'm starting to realise something about myself. I need a job/appointment/something to go to in the morning, something that has consequences if i miss it, otherwise i just sleep til 2 pm, and it makes me feel miserable. Even if i'm spending time with a girl, i generally feel really bad if i just lay in bed for too long. Therefore I can't just tell myself "get up at 8 am and study", i need to make some kind of appointment, where i have to show up. The days i do have a responsibility of some kind (for example work), i get up, feel better, and just do more and feel better the whole day. Even if the job is not "my calling" or whatever, i still get momentum and accomplish more + feel better after work

Also I'm realizing that some of the media im looking at is really negative. For example, im watching the walking dead, but honestly the series has a lot of negativity, drama and self-pity. Also i like to listen to certain comedians doing stand-up comedy, and mostly im drawn to listening to really dark humor, offensive humor. All this is probably affecting me more than i wanna admit. I've been trying to change my media to more positive instead, but sometimes it's really hard to watch positive things because my mind doesn't resonate with it. When i force myself to watch positive media i feel that some of that energy rubs off on me. For example last night: i forced myself watching some positive media when feeling apathy, and i got new energy and started doing some nice things.... so im gonna keep experimenting with it.

no plans to game today

Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3

 

McPhee
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In a rush

Wazzapp, what about a study group? I have found being part of a group, even a group of two, is very powerful when it comes to keeping me accountable and providing encouragement, support and structure. This has worked great for running, writing, music and other stuff.

I am in a hurry today so am off. No plans to game.

wazzapp
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Thanks =)

Thanks =)

Todays NA meeting had theme obsessiveness over relationships. very suitable for me.... well well

no plans to game, see u later

 

Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3

 

guitar1986x
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Day 31, ONE MONTH FINISHED!!!

Day 31

Today is a wonderful day, exactly one month since I decided to quit!
It was also a horrible day, game cravings came back stronger than I had them so far.

We traveled to Las Vegas between 1 and 10 November and had a wonderful time there. We even fulfilled out dream to fly over the Grand Canyon in a helicopter! We also attended a business event with 4 days jam-packed full of wonderful information to help us grow our personal business. It was a wonderful time of learning and networking.

Still I knew that because of the different environment it was easier not to game. And because of the large time and money investment we made to attend the business event I had a really good reason to push away my entire addiction process and act like a rockstar of fire for 4 days.

I also was aware that, even though I felt great and positive, it was also pushing away the part of me still struggling with gaming. And, as expected, that part of me now comes back stronger right when we get back home. First I got hit by all-consuming depression (I stayed in BED for the entire day - I really did it!), the next day by enormous headaches that even made it hard for me to sleep (and I am GREAT at sleeping :-)  ), and now this day I was both grumpy and hit by cravings for EVERYTHING in the evening.

And I mean everything, fast food, cafeine, chocolate, playing computer games, energy drink, sex, you name it, I've craved it tonight.

What really helped me was logging on OLGA and talking a bit with wazzaap, as well as meeting a new OLGA member living not far from me in Netherlands. I'm going to meet him in person next week.

Day 31 of no gaming, no intention to game today, and the intention to have a great and happy day tomorrow.

With warm regards,

Bart

ahimsa
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I'm back my friends : )

Thx for your inspirational story, guitar1986x : ) Today is about my 4th week of No-game life. I have had a  health issue, so I didn't have an energy to do anything. I'm feeling a lot of urge today so I decide to come and post here. No plan to game today !! I use Nofap as my secondary wall. When I feel urge to play, I fap to avoid getting into game. It has worked so far but I have a lot to do with my depression. Good luck to you all. : ))

Game free since 19th October 2015 !!!!
"Once you addict to something, you lose freedom to everything"

McPhee
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Running...

I have to leave in a few minutes for a day of watching soccer and then seeing a concert tonight, but wanted to say this: Keep fighting! Don't give up! Be smart! Keep doing whatever is working for you! Delay, delay, delay when urges strike! Dive into other interesting and engaging activities! The game-free life is great! We are with you!

No plans to game today. Thanks for your help with that.

wazzapp
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Congrats Bart!!!!!!!!!

Congrats Bart!!!!!!!!!

see u later

Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3

 

McPhee
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All well

I'm good. No gaming or plans to. Thanks for your help with that.

McPhee
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Distorted thinking

Here's a handy tool: http://sourcesofinsight.com/10-distorted-thinking-patterns/

These are core concepts of cognitive therapy, which is a very well-researched theory that can help you with problem-causing behaviors such as excessive gaming. It's almost certain that you'll identify some of these distortions in your thinking, especially when you're feeling down or feeling strongly tempted to game. If you can get some practice at disputing them, you can make your life easier and more fun.

A good example might be thinking, "I'm a loser." This can obviously cause you to feel depressed and want to escape into a game. It's an example of labeling, which is one of the distortions. You can dispute the label by considering the fact that there is really no definition of what a loser is. Is it somebody who loses once? Obviously, nobody wins all of them. Somebody who loses all the time? Undoubtedly, you have won at least once at something. Loses more than they win? Are you really keeping an accurate count of your wins and losses so you can make this assessment?

Get the idea? The label doesn't really tell you much and certainly helps you to feel bad about yourself. So you might as well get rid of it and subsitute something else more accurate and helpful. For instance, you could say to yourself, "I've spent a lot more time gaming the last few years than I'd like. It has cost me a lot and I regret it. However, everybody makes mistakes and I'm clearly no exception. So I'm going to try to move on and do better in future. That doesn't make me a loser. It makes me a human who can learn from mistakes."

If you try this, chances are good that you'll feel just slightly better. And when you're feeling horrible, any improvement can be huge. McPhee says: check it out.

No plans to game today.

McPhee
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Flying by

I am checking in and moving on to get to work this morning. No plans to game today.

ahimsa
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Thanks

Thank you, McPhee. The linked you posted was pretty true and brilliant. My fibromyalgia ( a chronic muscular pain disease) has flared up recently,it made me pretty depressed and wanting to install some games to escape the reallity but my experience has taught me that gaming doesn't help depression, it doesn't make you better at solving problem, but instead you escape from it, making you more vulnerable to the problem.

Today is my 30th day of game-free life, still depressed but I have a feeling that I'm on the right path !! Thank you all !

Game free since 19th October 2015 !!!!
"Once you addict to something, you lose freedom to everything"

McPhee
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Well done

Ahimsa, congratulations on reaching 30 days of game-free living! Great work! It keeps getting easier and better. Yes, you will have urges again, most likely. You may even play another game someday. But the urges get weaker and less frequent, you get better at defeating them, and the periods of gaming get shorter while the periods of not gaming get longer. At least, that's what is likely to happen if you keep trying. Keep it up! It's worth it!

I am good today. No plans to game.

McPhee
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All well

I doing fine and have no noticeable urges or temptations to report. No plans to game. Thanks for your help with that.

ahimsa
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feel the urge

Whenever I feel very depressed my urge for gaming is flowing through my veins. I watch comedy as a substitute, it has worked so far. My final test is coming and I think urge for gaming is coming too. Wish all the best for you guys !! Thank you all for your help : )

Game free since 19th October 2015 !!!!
"Once you addict to something, you lose freedom to everything"

McPhee
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Whatever works

Ahimsa, if watching comedy helps you avoid gaming, I'd watch comedy. It is very difficult to quit complex maladaptive behaviors like th is one without substituting other, better activities. Comedy watching may not be ideal, but it's nowhere near as bad as gaming, as all of us know. Treat yourself. Distract yourself. Find something really interesting and engaging and rewarding to do instead of gaming. You can do this. And good luck on the test.

No plans to game.

McPhee
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Doing okay

All is well here. No plans to game today.

McPhee
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Counting up

After going back to check (again) on when my last day of gaming was, I have now decided that March 10 is the last day I gamed, or perhaps the first day I didn't game. I'm not entirely clear on that. Anyway, since March 10 it has been eight months and 12 days. So that's my countup. 257 days.

It's been great, I would have to say. I have really been enjoying life without gaming. Sure, every now and then I think that it would be fun to boot up a game and bury myself in some strategy or quest. And it would, for a while. But experience has shown that a few hours would turn into many hours, and one day would turn into weeks and months and possibly years. The cost is simply far, far too high. As long as I keep the true cost in mind, the temptations don't seem too compelling.

It's kind of like being tempted by a pile of cash being handled by a teller at the bank. Sure, it would be nice to grab that cash, run off and spend it on a bunch of luxuries. But the cost -- arrest, conviction and jail -- is too high. So, I don't grab it. The thought process for gaming is similar. And so is the result, for at least the last eight months and 12 days.

No plans to game today.

guitar1986x
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1 month and 8 days finished - breakthroughs

Hi all,

Sorry for posting so little, I've been really busy. I've been able to finally put int work for my business and network with some amazing people that are really inspiring me.

All in the middle of some of the worst fits of game-cravings I've ever had in the past evenings, and some of the most overpowering attacks of total depression that hit me now and then and make me just lie down on the couch for hours, I'm feeling the positive momentum in myself being stronger than the negative.

I've overcome my depression in the mornings. The first month I would be depressed EVERY morning for hours. Now I take a short walk, I even went jogging this morning, and I'm increasingly feeling positivity and ENERGY, I'm able to be productive and happy.

I just want to share with you all that the driving power behind my transformations of the past 8 days is the book: THE SLIGHT EDGE - JEFF OLSON. I can recommend it to anyone. It's my new favorite book (and I've read A LOT of self-help books). It's amazing, and very relevant for each and every one of us quitting gaming (or doing anything else in our life for that matter).

With warm regards,

Bart

McPhee
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Thanks

Bart, much appreciate the update on your status and book recommendation. I'll have to try that one. I'm glad you're feelng better. Sometimes a little exercise can really help.

I've been off exercise the last few days but hope to get back on the stick today. I have several other things I want to get done today too, including writing a fairly long article so I can get the invoice in before my client's accounting department deadline.

The book I'm reading right now is "The Productivity Project," which is going to be published in a few months. It's pretty good. Anything that inspires and provides useful info is pretty good.

No plans to game today.

ahimsa
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Come to say hi

Thank you, McPhee and Bart. Your story inspired me!!

Another craving day. I'm going to have my final test tomorrow. Having been pretty stress for a long time due to having test every 2 weeks and have to read book everyday. I don't have a particular hobby beside watching series, social network. I want to find something to distract me from gaming soon. 

Thanks all for your support. No plan to game today

Game free since 19th October 2015 !!!!
"Once you addict to something, you lose freedom to everything"

McPhee
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Outstanding!

Ahimsa, you are sounding great! Keep it up! We are with you!

I have dropped the productivity book for one about how robots are going to replace all of us. It's pretty depressing. But an editor has assigned me to review it and offered a nice fee, so I'm reading it. I have a large number of half-read books around here. I need to go back and clean up when I'm through with robots.

No plans to game today. Thanks for your help with that.

McPhee
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Whew

The robot book is really getting me down. Among other things, the author says robotic news reporters are going to replace 90 percent of journalists in the next several years. (Some would say this began happening long ago, with Maria Shriver being Exhibit A.) It sort of makes me want to go to paramedic school next year, so at least I'll have a fallback way to earn a living if journalism becomes completely unworkable. But I'm not sure I'm even smart enough to get through paramedic school. Also, I'm slightly old. Oh, well.  F'ing robots.

No plans to game today. Thanks for your help with that.

Isyckle
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A few days to four months

Hi guys,

COngrats to Bart and ahimsa that have done incredible progess in such a short time. I am still pretty new to the OLGA community, but it has been a great support since the begining of my recovery.

I have been game free for almost four months now (120 days mark on thursday/fridray). I have not been better in years.

It is amazing all the things you can do with the spare time you earn, when you don't use that time to game.

Give your time, to those you love.

Cheers!

Facing what consumes you, is the only way to be free. -Hatebreed

McPhee
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Thanks

lsyckle, thanks much for the check-in. You sound great! I second the motion about all the wonderful things you can do with the time you used to spend hiding out from life in a game. I highly recommend giving up the games, and it's not all about getting rid of a bad habit. It's also about the fantastic enjoyment to be found in making the most of your life.

Last week I went to a concert by Tommy Emmanuel, an Australian musician who is, to my mind, the world's greatest solo acoustic fingerstyle guitar player (not counting classical guys like, say, David Russell). I was really impressed with the way his music expressed his personality, as well as by the charming nature of that personality. If he comes to your town, consider going. It is a great show, one of the best live musical performancs I have ever seen.

Anyway, Tommy's latest album is called "It's Never Too Late" and it's an abbreviation of a philosophy and a sign he says he has in his living room. The sign says, "It's never too late to live happily ever after."

Amen, brothers and sisters. We may have messed up our lives profoundly and wasted years or even decades gaming, but we can start today and live happily ever after. How does that sound? Are you in? You can do this!

Much thanks to all for being here on Thanksgiving Day here in America. No plans to game today.

McPhee
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Thanks again

Still thankful. Still not gaming. Still not planning to game. Thanks, folks. I hope you are all well.

ahimsa
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Hi

McPhee, you sound pretty great. I like the way you enjoy life without gaming : ) I had 2 days vacation with my friends, one of my friend was playing Clash of Clan and it was really disturbing me because I really want to go back to play my phone game, all my memory comes back. I've even downloaded it and planning to play because I got really stress. But one of my thought popped out like "If you choose playing game, it's the same road you have already been and you know where it's gonna lead you to but if you choose gaming free-life I don't know where it's gonna lead me because I am still have depression issue but I'm sure it's gonna be better in longterm" So I deleted it and here I am.

 

Thanks all you guys for everything. Happy belated thanks giving !

Game free since 19th October 2015 !!!!
"Once you addict to something, you lose freedom to everything"

McPhee
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Nice work!

Ahimsa, well done! That is really outstanding. I am so glad to hear you didn't play the game. Every time you resist an urge, you get a little stronger and a little better able to resist the next urge. Also, the urges get weaker and come less often. Great job! You can do this.

I am good here. I have a more or less free day, except for a show to play this evening. In times past, I would have buried myself in a game in the morning and emerged just barely in time to fulfill my commitment in the evening, assuming I couldn't find some way out of doing it at all. That is not a good way to live. This is much better. I'm not sure what I'll do today. I am considering the gym, some writing, some more hassling with the audio recording software, maybe drop by my sisters to visit my mom again before she leaves town. Whatever it is, it will be better than spending many hours locked in a game.

Working with the audio recording software last night was a little like gaming. I would get completely lost in it and get up after a couple of hours and feel really stiff and sore. But that's different from gaming. I have an actual product at the end, like a recording or at least a better understanding of how to use the tool. It's not like gaming where when it's over you have nothing.

No plans to game today. Thanks for your help with that.

McPhee
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All good

I am doing okay here. Over the weekend I was cleaning up the computers and ran across a few old games I had installed before quitting. I was happy to delete them from the machines. Man, it's great to not be in thrall to those freaking games! I am really glad about that. Thanks to all for your help. I hope you're well.

ahimsa
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Hesitating

Good to hear your story, McPhee. My depression is now overwhelming. I'm thinking massively about using video game as self-medicate because it worked but I think can't control my gaming behavior and it has bad long term side effect. I have been cleaned for about a month and a half but I still haven't got any productive hobby yet. What should I do ? Should I use games as a self-medicate method until I have controlled over my depression ?  Or should I find other way to cope with depression and stay clean ? I'm hesitating right now. 

Thanks for your support :)

Game free since 19th October 2015 !!!!
"Once you addict to something, you lose freedom to everything"

McPhee
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Good question

Ahimsa, I would avoid gaming as a way to fix your depression. If you've been badly depressed for more than a few weeks, you should see your doctor about it. Depression is treatable and can be serious if untreated.

Meanwhile, you really need to come up with some other activities to replace the gaming. It's very difficult to be happy and to avoid gaming when you're just sitting around doing nothing and wishing you were gaming.

Some kind of exercise should probably be your first choice for an actvitiy. Exercise is an effective treatment for depression. Going for a walk is fine. You don't have to join a gym or start training for a triathlon. Yoga is great. Hiking. Swimming. Whatever. Just get started with some kind of movement.

You also will want to start doing some sort of activity that you just like. This could be anything. What do you like doing? I wouldn't worry too much about "substituting one addiction for another," as they say. The new activity doesn't have to be 100 percent wonderful. If you like watching television shows, surfing the internet, shopping, etc, that's perhaps not the ideal activity but it's better than gaming. Pick something you like and do it for yourself as a reward and distraction for not gaming. Best is something that is absorbing and creative, like a craft or art or similar hobby.

For me, music has been great. Lately, I've also started writing fiction and submitting short stories to magazines. So far I've only collected rejection slips, but it's fun and interesting and creative and far more positive than gaming.

So what do you like to do? Start doing it. Ignore negative thoughts that are keeping you from trying. That's my best advice.

No plans to game today.

guitar1986x
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1 month and 18 days - progress and challenges

Thank you all for posting, appreciate your compliment Isycle!

ahimsa, I can recognize the depression challenges you are going through.

What's really been helping me is reading 10 pages of "The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson" daily and implementing that book. It's all about making small easy-to-day changes daily that add up to changing your life in every way.

I've started practicing a number of habits, all at once, totally against what the book recommends (they recommend practicing one at a time but I'm not that patient)
* Never using the snooze button on my alarm again - that was really taking out 1.5 hours of my morning daily
* Taking a morning walk - it's really a wonderful start of the day
* Daily writing down one positive experience I had in the past 24 hours in full detail - causes the brain to relive it and doubles it's positive effect.
* Daily writing 3 new  things I'm grateful for - practice gratitide
* 10 pages of a great life-changing book daily

Our business has been progressing wonderfully. It's great to see our dreams and plans materialize. We sell products on Amazon.com and we're getting a surge of sales for the Christmas season.

I'm really encountering my own demons, the things that made me start playing games in the first place. It's fear to surrender myself to God and do what I know is right (that might sound awfully religious but I'm not, and really - it's not all that relious :-) if you know what I mean), fear of my own potential. Very concretely, we're doing x amount of sales in $ monthly and I have a mental barrier that I shouldn't grow past that.

Any action that will progress us further and increase our success further fills me with absolute dread. I find myself CRAVING to run back into gaming to escape. That's exactly the reason I was always gaming, so I didn't have to deal with the challenges of my life, to numb my dreams, to TRY settle for second class.

I'm trying to do something small daily to help me grow further, but the resistance is massive. I'm really dealing with the underlying problem now, or at least totally aware of it and trying to deal with it. I'll keep you posted. It's tough right now.

It feels a little bit like I'm on a narrow mountain path with a ravine to the left of me and a steep rockwall at the other side. I encounter this obstacle (my mental block, limited thinking) that I don't really want to break through, I don't want to jump into the ravine and plunge hundreds of meters down to my old state of gaming, I don't want to walk back down the road because that feels like a lot of work. So I do the only other option, bang my head against the stone wallface in absolute depression while I try to think of something better to do.

That's where I feel I am right now, at the point of no return, but struggling to REALLY let go of this old stuff I'm identified with. I'm affraid to lose myself when I let go of my limitations. I'm affraid of my own potential. I'm affraid that I won't be me once I accept God's guidance without any reservation.

No intention to game today - I'll never game again - but my gosh does this feel rough now and then.

ahimsa
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Thx all

Thank you, McPhee and guitar1986x. Your post really inspired me not to game. I will try the book you recommend, guitar1986x. Today I feel good because I swam yesterday. I will remain clean till I get my new life. 

Thanks you all for that :)

Game free since 19th October 2015 !!!!
"Once you addict to something, you lose freedom to everything"

planner
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hi dear friends, i am happy

hi dear friends, i am happy to be with you again. I came back few days ago from another relapse (when this is going to stop!) which gladly did last only 2 weeks! I think because after relapsing i tried not to pay online games and stick with the offline ones.

"Recovery is not about dealing with gaming. Recovery is about dealing with Life"

McPhee
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Keeping on

Planner, when relapses get shorter and the time between them gets longer, that's progress. You're getting there. Eventually the urges will get so weak you can easily deflect them, and they'll come less and less often. Keep trying. You're getting there!

Guitar, I'm not sure what to do about self-limiting beliefs. It sounds like you have zeroed in on the personal roadblocks that are causing you problems. Being self-aware is a huge victory. Congrats! I am confident you can find a way to change your attitude about yourself and embrace more success. Keep it up! I'm reading The Slight Edge and enjoying it so far, although I'm just a few pages in. Thanks for the recommendation.

Ahimsa, you are sounding much better. I am glad the exercise helped. Well done!

I worked on the ambulance yesterday and we transferred patients to and from dialysis all day long. You think you have problems? How would you like to be a 400-pound paraplegic with end-stage kidney disease requiring several hours of dialysis every couple of days? We had to use an electric hoist to get her in and out of the dialysis chair. At her house there was no electric hoist and it took four EMTs. Want to switch places with her?

My friends, we have some difficulties, no doubt. But compared to a lot of people, we are living a wonderful dream of ecstasy. Realize you are not perfect. Try to do better. Work on discovering new ways that will help you succeed in your goals. But feel sorry for yourself? That makes no sense. We are all doing fine although we could do better -- and we will do better. Just watch us!

No plans to game today.

McPhee
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Onward

Despite all my brave talk from yesterday, today I am feeling pretty blue. I plan to snap out of it by reminding myself that I don't have it so bad. I also plan to focus on doing what I can do and not worry too much about whether my efforts produce immediate positive results. I can't control outcomes. Only inputs. That's what I'll try to focus on today.

No plans to game.

McPhee
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Better, better

I am feeling a little less down today and have plans to take some steps to feel better. One thing to remember is that there is no guarantee you will never feel a little blue, or angry, or fearful or have any other negative emotion. Bad days are going to happen, and probably bad weeks and maybe bad months. Hopefully, no bad years. Sometimes you just put your head down and wait them out. Other times taking action will help bring you back to the good times. But a little blue spell is not unfair or the end of the world. We can deal with it.

No plans to game today. Your presence here is much appreciated.

McPhee
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Puzzling

I went to a couple of online calculators that will give you the number of days that have passed since some previous date. I typed in the last day I gamed, or maybe it was the first day I didn't game, which was March 10, 2015. Then today's date and I got ... two different answers. Weird. Maybe one of the calculators was across the international date line? One includes today and one doesn't? I don't know. Anyway, it's been either 269 or 270 days, according to these calculators. The 270 days comes to 6,840 hours, or 388,800 minutes or 23,328,000 seconds. I think I can go another day without gaming. It's been great, actually.

Still, I have to admit, the other day I was researching proposals to provide everyone with a guaranteed minimum income and one of the thoughts that crossed my mind was, "If I didn't have to work for a living, I could just game all day." I suppose that's true. Then again, problems with earning income are not the only problems that excessive gaming creates. It also causes relationship problems, medical problems, mental health problems, personal and home hygiene problems, nutrition problems and just basic enjoyment of life problems. So I don't think I'm going to spend all day every day gaming, or any part of any day gaming, just because I don't have to work any more. Not that the guaranteed national income looks likely to actually become reality, even if it's not the worst idea I ever heard of.

One of the things about gaming that appeals is the way it shrinks all of life down to one thing: Do I have the opportunity to game as much as I want, which means basically every minute of the day?

If I can game all I want, then all's well. If not, then there's a problem. That's the excessive gamer's mindset, essentially.

There's no worrying about work, rent, friends, family, taxes, pets, cooking, cleaning or any of the other issues that make life so complicated. There's also no listening to music, going camping, having sex, eating great food, hearing a funny joke, playing a beautiful song, or any of the other pleasures that make life so rich and engaging. Gaming is an appealing simplification, but it's also a cheat. I don't want to cheat myself. There are plenty of other people who want to cheat  me in various ways.

So, no plans to game today. Thanks for your help with that. On to day 271, or thereabouts.

McPhee
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Whew

A very long day at work today. It started at 1 a.m. and lasted 17 hours. We were providing emergency medical support at a marathon with something like 30,000 participants. It was a great day with perfect weather and a great partner and lots of exposure to inspiring runners. Much better than a bunch of messed-up gaming, which was the way I would have spent my Sunday until about 9 months ago. But, man, am I tired.

No plans to game in the hour or so of wakefulness that remains of today. Thanks for your help.

planner
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I haven’t slept well

I haven’t slept well yesterday and i feel a bit anxious. I faced urges to play last week, i didn’t play but i couldn’t focus on doing something useful so i stayed passive watching movies and youtube. Now its a bit better, i am getting some energy back but it is difficult to focus on studying. I am not going to play today but i don’t feel well. I know sadly that this will continue for the next 2 months. I guess my cells is still low in energy but will get stronger as long as time pass and i don’t play.

"Recovery is not about dealing with gaming. Recovery is about dealing with Life"

McPhee
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Good work

Planner, nice job watching movies and youtube instead of gaming. Watching movies and youtube may not be your most favorite activity. It kind of sounds like it is not. But it's better than gaming, so that's progress. I'll encourage you to try to think of something else that you would like more. Think of a really appealing activity and what first step you could make to start doing it. Make it something you really want. And make the first step really easy. Like, if you want to drive a Lamborghini, don't make the first step something like "save up enough to buy a Lambo." Make it "look for web listing of car rental companies that rent high-end sports cars." That's not scary and you can do it in five minutes or less. It's amazing how powerful just getting started can be, though, so be sure your goal or activity is something you really do want. Go! You are doing great! Keep it up!

I am okay today. No plans to game.

wazzapp
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For some reason i began

For some reason i began gaming again for a few days, thinking it wouldnt be harmful for me. Oh boy was I wrong. After 3 days i was laying in bed shaking like a madman (litteraly). Luckily there was an NA meeting nearby that I went to in my despair, otherwise i would probably still be gaming. Luckily im game-free today, 3rd day, and wow im happy for that. 

Gaming brought me to a really looooow point, i feel somewhat more grateful and willing then before. I hope i dont need to learn that painful lesson again.

 

Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3

 

ahimsa
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I feel younot

Wazzapp, I'm glad you are back on your track again. Congratulations! You will more immune to your urge now. I'm still wanting to game but I know gaming is not a solution, not a goal in my life. So no matter how depressed or stress I am, I won't use gaming as a solution. It's a false fixes. Good luck to you all. Thank you for everything.

no plan to game today!!

Game free since 19th October 2015 !!!!
"Once you addict to something, you lose freedom to everything"

wazzapp
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Thanks ahimsa,

Thanks ahimsa,

all pretty good here. Im grateful

see u later hugs

Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3

 

McPhee
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Welcome back

wazzapp, that sucks. But I'm glad you aren't being too hard on yourself. Slips and relapses are very common, although admittedly not universal. Some people decide to quit and never touch another game. But most people who are like us have to go back and forth a little, at least for a while.

The good news is that you are making progress, even if you are not perfect. Three days is three days. It's not the end of all your hopes and dreams for living game-free. You went a good long spell without gaming, followed by a short spell of gaming. My guess is you'll now embark on a longer spell of not gaming, perhaps extending forever. And future slips, if you have any (which is only a possibility, not a certainty) will be shorter. You are getting there. Welcome back!

Ahimsa, you are sounding good. Keep it up!

I am good. I had a few seconds of wistful thinking about gaming yesterday. I was making a snack and thinking how I used to make a similar snack and then go game for hours. It's funny how the thoughts sneak up on you. But I just reminded myself that I don't like that life, and I do like this life, and so the already pretty weak urge was further weakened and basically had no chance.

This is what urges do. They may never completely disappear forever, but they generally get weaker and less frequent as time goes on. And you get stronger and more vigilant and less likely to make a mistake. Eventually, you can get to a place where you don't game, you're happy about it and you are extremely unlikely to start again.

That's pretty much where I am today, I think. No plans to game.

McPhee
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Feeling kinda low

I have had recurring blues lately. Despite doing what I can to shake them they just keep coming back. Not sure what's going on. Maybe just the ebb and flow of existence and attitudes. I'm sure it'll pass. Meanwhile, it's not so bad. I'm doing pretty well in most respects.

No plans to game today.

planner
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I am okay today, I faced some

I am okay today, I faced some urges to play the last two days. They were strong but luckily they didn’t last long. When I face temptations, I feel that I am trapped and already gaming (lots of gaming images and feelings inside my mind). I will try to sleep 9 hours tonight because I think this will make my mind clearer 

"Recovery is not about dealing with gaming. Recovery is about dealing with Life"

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