Advice Column refers Online Gamers Anonymous

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WoW Parent
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Advice Column refers Online Gamers Anonymous

I admit it...I've been an advice column junkie since childhood. Imagine my surprise when the heading of the Ask Amy (Amy Dickinson) column this morning was, "

Online gaming no fun for addict's family

". I'm posting the question and the advice.

Dear Amy: My wife is addicted to playing World of Warcraft. She plays it from the time she wakes up in the morning until she goes to bed at 2 or 3 in the morning for days on end, to the exclusion of practically anything else. She met a friend online and had an affair with him. They talk online every day.
She is totally unapologetic about playing 12 to 15 hours a day, and doesn't believe she is neglecting her family. I am feeling sad and neglected as I pick up the slack around the house and try to explain things to our kids. My wife's attitude is that we can accept this or take a hike.
The ironic thing is that she is an expert in the field of addiction.
I love this woman dearly. We have been married for almost 20 years, but the past six months have been hell. Forget counseling. Anyone married to a top player knows you can't even talk to players while they are playing. They don't respond.
I am desperately trying to save my marriage but am at at loss as to what to do.
Walking on Eggshells
Dear Walking: As with any addiction, this takes a tremendous toll on the family, and if your wife refuses treatment, you should focus your energy on how to help yourself and your children.
Your wife might refuse counseling, but you should definitely see a counselor. You should also seek personal support from friends and families of other addicts.
Ironically, there are many online sources of support for online gaming addiction. One you would find useful is Online Gamers Anonymous (olganon.org), which uses a 12-step recovery model and offers support for addicted gamers and those worried about them.

J. DOe
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I am not particularly

I am not particularly surprised that Amy Dickinson suggests using OLGA for support. Although it has been around a year now, I have previously done quite a few searches on Google using various terms to try to find other sites that also help with gaming addiction. Although there were quite a few other sites that provide at least some minimal support, there were none that were even particularly close to OLGA in terms of the size of our community, the amount of relevant archived information available to read, and available support options (e.g., the 12-steps program, searchable list of professionals, weekly on-line meetings, etc.).

- John O.

[em]Carpe Diem![/em] (Seize the Day!)

Gamersmom
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Cool. I'm an advice column

Cool. I'm an advice column junkie too, but I missed that one this AM.

"Small service is true service while it lasts.  Of humblest friends, bright creature! scorn not one

The daisy, by the shadow that it casts,

Protects the lingering dewdrop from the sun." -------William Wordsworth

lizwool
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Thanks for finding that and

Thanks for finding that and sharing it with us! (See we are making a difference....slowly....)

Liz Woolley

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Here is another letter to

Here is another letter to Amy about gaming addiction. It is the third letter down on the linked page. http://www.chicagotribune.com/features/columnists/advice/chi-0902askamysep02,0,1339780.column Dear Amy: I am responding to "Walking on Eggshells," the man who's wife appeared addicted to the game "World of Warcraft." I've been on both sides of this situation. I've always been into computer games, and at times I have been known to play them more than 16 hours a day. I've also been married to a gamer who occasionally played them that much too. Online game addictions are different from drug or other chemical addictions. It may appear to outsiders that these people are "lost" in their interactions with an inanimate object, but in fact they are interacting with real people. It is just as real as being on the phone. And if a spouse doesn't enjoy physical closeness with a partner anymore, those online relationships can be just as real, or more real, than those in "real" life. If someone complains of losing a relationship with someone because of an online game addiction, I would advise treating the situation the same as if the person were at another person's house all the time. Would you let your spouse spend all day at some stranger's house, only to come home and be cold to you? Your options are to show your spouse the door or make sure you're visiting that stranger's house together. Of course, you may not like what you find when you visit that house. Don't blame the online game. It's just a community of people. AC/a,!aEUoeAC/a,!aEUoeTony Dear Tony: I don't blame "World of Warcraft," any more than I would blame a bottle of scotch for creating a barfly. Neither of your solutions involves urgingAC/a,!aEUoeAC/a,!aEUoeor helpingAC/a,!aEUoeAC/a,!aEUoesomeone to make a change for the sake of her relationship. If the person refuses or can't change, then, yes, it could be time to show her the door.

Liz Woolley

bgh
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An excellent analogy. I hope

An excellent analogy. I hope Dr. Phil read that one. ;)

The happiness of a man in this life does not consist in the absence but in the mastery of his passions.
-Alfred Lord Tennyson
____________________________________

lizwool
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This is what I have always

This is what I have always said - these people think their "characters" are "real"! First, they are nothing but pixels, second, this is suppose to be "just a game", so the people can be anonymous and be anyway they want in the games! They are not THEMSELVES!

Liz Woolley

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It’s ok if you’re an

ItaEU(tm)s ok if youaEU(tm)re an advice column junkie just as long as you know how to handle it. Besides, we all know that advice columns have advanced significantly. It used to be just Dear Abby and Miss Manners in syndizcation, and then there is Dear Prudence and Savage Love. I forgot what magazine it was, but someone got the thought to have an advice column written by Lemmy from Motorhead aEU" and yes it was really good. A number of them are not that bad, some get a bit raunchy, and some are Chicken Soup types that make cynics everywhere cringe.

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