A New Life - A New Adventure

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etgothome
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Joined: 04/18/2013 - 10:57am
A New Life - A New Adventure

From one of my daily readers, adapted for OLGA:

"My life has changed... Now as I awaken, I listen for the birds. I choose not to review my plans for the day until I've had my breakfast. I prefer to take time to appreciate my favorite time of the day. [The program] is helping me to clear my mind of my burdens so that I am able to enjoy the wonder of the moment. I am beginning to enjoy a childlike awe about the splendor of nature, to seethe beauty all around me, to let my face break into a smile spontaneously, to laugh, to love, to live again."

I know in my heart that I am better off being game-free now. I know my spiritual awakening was a gentle, slow, organic process... which for me was rediscovering my faith in my concept of a Power greater than myself. There are many, but I needed one that worked for me. I know I have an addiction to games, and now I am grateful for it. It has renewed my program, and introduced me to You, other OLGA members. I know I can never play the game I was addicted to again. That feels ok, right now, it did not feel like that at first - not by a long shot. ...but now, I am much more at peace. I am happy being me, most of the time. I laugh a lot, too. I came across the thought that if I want to show my HP my gratitude for being game-free and my recovery - if I really want to show my HP my gratitude then I need to enjoy my life Today and laugh out and often. ...but, I do remember, when I was in that deep dark hole and I wanted to escape from my feelings and game... I remember that laughter was painful - I remember hearing children laugh, couples laugh, etc, and feeling pain. I was envious, had self-pity and did not have a program then. Now, even when I am sad, I can still enjoy others' laughter - I am happy for them. ...I never thought I would feel that. I was very self-centered - but thought I was the opposite. I am so happy for my program, my recovery, and the 12 steps - they are an amazing set of tools.

The following is an expression of my recovery, but I know deep down that the chances of this happening, or my wanting for it to happen, would be close to none if I was not game-free for today; because, when I was still in the grip of my game-addiction, I would be "clocking the clock" to make sure that I was out of work in a shot so I could get home and turn my PCs on to get on with my gaming. I had very little room in my head for anything or anyone else because the game was my life; whereas my work, my partner and my friends and family were more like my hobby back then. Life is better now.

This evening, on my way back from work, I stopped to collect a branch from a flowering bush. I stopped at the roadside. I walked back to the bush a hundred yards or so, and a horse in a field came up to me in the dark. I stood quietly for a while and had a silent chat with it. I then got my branch and breathed in the night's air and the scent of the tiny white flowers. I felt tired, but it felt ok to be tired because I also felt renewed by stopping, just to be me and do the things I really enjoy. I am grateful for those five or ten minutes of my day this evening, because I felt at peace, happy to be me.

Tonight I am grateful to OLGA and my HP for the many tiny changes in me that have happened over time which slowly restore my sanity, one day at a time.

Night night

Gettingalife
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Joined: 12/11/2011 - 5:41pm
Beautiful post, ET. Thank

Beautiful post, ET. Thank you.

Acceptance. When I am disturbed, it is because a person, place, thing, or situation is unacceptable to me. I find no serenity until I accept my life as being exactly the way it is meant to be. Nothing happens in God’s world by mistake.  Acknowledge the problem, but live the solution!

Seen_The_Light
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Last seen: 3 years 5 months ago
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Joined: 01/15/2015 - 11:28am
You were kinda Stopping to

You were kinda Stopping to smell the roses, as the familiar expression goes.

When I was at the height of my game addiction, everything I used to do would be rushed or done begrudgingly just so I could get back to my own little virtual reality fantasy world. I look back on the times that little pleasures that I used to enjoy before the game were neglected, such as not feeding the garden birds regularly.... and I wondered why I stopped seeing as many come into my garden! I would justify it by saying to myself they are wild birds, they do not need me to feed them, they can eat berries or look for food elsewhere, but I missed the regular visits of my favourite characters the wood pigeons.

Thank goodness that now I am not desperate to game to the expense of other things, and I've been feeding my garden birds daily again. I'm pleased to say that pigeons forgive me for the lack of care over the past year and have started gracing me with their presence again. Yay. :-)

Seen_The_Light
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Last seen: 3 years 5 months ago
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Joined: 01/15/2015 - 11:28am
You were kinda Stopping to

You were kinda Stopping to smell the roses, as the familiar expression goes.

When I was at the height of my game addiction, everything I used to do would be rushed or done begrudgingly just so I could get back to my own little virtual reality fantasy world. I look back on the times that little pleasures that I used to enjoy before the game were neglected, such as not feeding the garden birds regularly.... and I wondered why I stopped seeing as many come into my garden! I would justify it by saying to myself they are wild birds, they do not need me to feed them, they can eat berries or look for food elsewhere, but I missed the regular visits of my favourite characters the wood pigeons.

Thank goodness that now I am not desperate to game to the expense of other things, and I've been feeding my garden birds daily again. I'm pleased to say that pigeons forgive me for the lack of care over the past year and have started gracing me with their presence again. Yay. :-)

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