When we come to the crossroads.
How do we know that it has taken over our life? How can we accept this?
Anon can be a great thing at times. We can shut our world out and not deal with things that are going on around us. How do these things come to light? Our lives were filled with laughter a long time before this, but the addiction is overwhelming, and happiness no longer reigns. Why did we let it get this far? The absolute awe of the whole environment impressed us, and the compulsion began. A new world, a better world, one where we don't have to work 9 - 5, where we can be whatever we want to be, where we can shut ourselves away and no-one knows who we are, neither do they care what we look like, we can be whatever we want.
Suddenly, life becomes pointless, as we do not interact with life no longer. We interact with a make believe world, a world where, yes we are where we want to be. Why do we want to stay there and resent anybody that tries to take it away from us? Life is boring, life is pointless, there is no excitement any longer. We know we are in trouble now but it doesn't matter. We can put the letters away and hide them, it no longer matters. We want to stay here, we want to stay in this safe world. We adventure into the deep caverns of the unknown, we stick together, we cheer together and we accomplish things together. We must get further in our goals. There is no end to what we can do here. We must get to that higher level, we must get those items of power.
We forget how we once enjoyed the things that we did. When we walked in the grasslands of the countryside and cherished the moments, with the birds singing and the sky ice blue. How the people we held dearest was at our side too.
Instead, hurt reigns. We hate ourselves and we hate the people around us. We hate what we do, and we hate the people that try and stop us. Our goals are close, we are so close to achieving them. Unfortunately, once we achieve them there is always something else we want to achieve. Our friends online encourage us; we can't let them down, we want those things too, we don't want them to have them, we want to show we are needed too. But the comradeship of the guild is there, they know why we are there, they agree with us too.
We now start to see the people outside as enemies. Why do they interfere so? Why do they want to take the pleasure that I get away from me? Why do they still stick around? Why are they still here? We have now forgotten how it use to be, how it use to be before. This is how life should be, you argue, there should be no 9 - 5. This is how it should be. All our inhibitions.
People say you have got a problem, and you are turning inwards on yourself. You can no longer interact with people, what have you got to talk about? You see them as interfering and doing you no good. What could they possible know? I'm in control.
Then it happens one day.
The crossroads for us all.
A choice we must make. Depression has set in, and we see no point to life. But maybe there is a chance.
A chance to drag yourself out of this hole, it doesn't have to be like this. It could be so different.
Remember back on the happier days, where we enjoyed life.
The game has become a ritual, we no longer enjoy it, we need it but it does us no good. The game is a job, so a job consumes us 24/7, we have a breakdown. We need a break from this. Can't take it any longer, something must give. What gives is your choice. Let's hope it's the right one.
A light is shining bright, and we can shine so much if we let it.
There is no need for all this pain, we can beat it. We can change things around, nothing is ever too late. We have become in need of the game, because that is all we have now, but we must break away from it. It is our way of ignoring problems, of dealing with problems, and yet we can give up so much just because of it.
It is not easy. It is not easy to try and regain what we once had. What will people think of me? They know what has happened and I'm ashamed. I am ashamed of how I could have had let this happen. I don't want people to think of me in that way, that I am weak, that I could give up so much over something like this.
But there is hope.
You get one life.
What do you want to achieve with your life?
There is so much out there, there is so much, so much you could do.
All those different things you want to accomplish, why can't you?
Do you really give everything you've got to a particular thing, except the game?
Do you want to be on your own for the rest of your life?
What would you want people to remember you by?
If you had a choice of doing anything or changing your life to the way you want it, what would it be?
We sometimes get confused on our journey, the most important thing is to re-find the way.
A small change can lead to a greater one. You will be surprised how much better you feel if you just take one day to yourself / or with someone and do something completely different. Make that one day, two. Take back up the old hobbies you once had. Start to find an interest in something else, preferably a sporting activity, or outside, as this can work wonders. Being outside on a beautiful hot day, or listening to the nature of what is around you, can be relaxing. Remember, if you have played that game 24/7, you have basically had no breaks whatsoever for months and months. No wonder you feel snappy, anxious, moody, depressed.
There is no shame in admitting what you done. The important thing is to remember that you are now on the road to recovery and to a better life. A better life where one day you will say xxxx game doesn't interest me no longer, what a waste of time. Where you will once cherish the important things in life.
Addiction can be overcome and can be controlled. Sometimes, it is a means of an escape, even if you don't think you are escaping from anything. I know one thing that can be off putting is when people categorise, and don't really offer any sort of words of help. About time you snapped out of that, to me leads to more resentment and doesn't address the situation.
Your in control of you life, not your on-line games, not your guild who wants you to stay to kill UberMob_01. Learn to say no and mean it. After all, do they really appreciate what you do to help them? That you have sacrificed some time with your family to kill something for them? No, they will just want more the next time. Is your family really, really worth, giving all that you have, up?
Edited by: lizwool at: 12/6/06 8:21
Edited by John of the Roses at 4/25/13 17:20