From reading and posting this morning, I realized that I haven't had the urge to play in a LONG while. After talking to my Psychologist last week, I realized that my family was the "Elite, specialized and differently-skilled" group I needed. Whenever I hear people talk about WoW, I feel this ... revulsion. Almost like I can sense VAMPIRES or something. HA-HA-HA! I've stared studying music theory again, and am going to get my 8 yo to do it with me. I think my wife is borderline addicted to GAIA again, however. *sigh*
—
My Gamer Bio
"The eye sees only what the mind is prepared to comprehend" -Henri Bergson
Well i have been free of wow for just over 4 months now and today i slept in again and it felt so nice to be feeling refreshed when i woke up before i quit wow i was over tired another thing is my finger aches i had is gone :D from all the typing and clicking of the mouse i started readingA again something i enjoy very much and i found a superb program on TV that my wife and myself like watching TOP GEAR its great all about beautiful cars and it is very funny one other thing i noticed is the bags i used to have under my eyes is going away and I'm losing some weight i do get tempted still to go on world of warcraft but i decided cold turkey is the best for me after i played the f2p wow i canceledA my account it has been frozen for just over 4 months now and i think they only keep it frozen for 6 months then they delete the account so only about 1 month and 3 quarters to go there is some friends on there who i will miss but not enough to start playing again I'm just happy my mmorpg days is over.
I come to the boards and read the struggles of others. It helps me to know what where I have come from. I can remember, one way or another, always being on the computer. I no longer am but it helps me to see others stories so I don't revert. I tend to lurk. I like it better that way. Best of luck to you all. Maverick
Report number one for me: Today I've uninstalled all of the games I had on, except chess, which I hardly ever play, but perhaps I will learn it, without the distractions. Actually, I never realized how many violent games I had.... I just freed up at least 30 gigs. I had just bought another one two days ago, but I'm not playing it, it was the last straw. I feel more free already. I had felt free when I cancelled one of my MMO subscriptions a few weeks ago, should have just given them up altogether. And what's with the first post in this thread? OCD section is that way >>> :)
—
If you play video games, turn them off once in a while and rejoin life. Some of us here like you, don't ask me why.
Thracius, congratulations on making the decision and then implementing the action of removing all of your games. I hope that you will be able to stay away from them and get your life back in order.
Thracius wrote:
And what's with the first post in this thread? OCD section is that way >>> :)
As for the first post in this thread, I am not sure what happened with it. However, I have fixed it now. I am not sure what you mean by "OCD section is that way". If by "OCD" you mean "Obsessive Compulsive Disorder", although there are some posts regarding it, there is no section for it that I am aware of. If you have found any sort of similar problems elsewhere, please let me or any one of the other staff know about it so that we can investigate and fix them.
I was just kidding, a lot of gamers indeed have an obsessive compulsive disorder, whether it be smoking, drinking cola or water, or any other form or ocd, even repeating certain words in the middle of sentences, when they don't make any sense in context seems I still have some gaming forum attitude in me, probably picked it up from eve online, where mockery is common; a new player, or even a veteran will make a thread regarding a certain problem he has, such as being harassed or losing all his assets at once, given the vicious nature of eve online and another player will post something like "whine forum is that way --->" etc. I'll get it out of my system eventually, now that the source of the problem has been removed
—
If you play video games, turn them off once in a while and rejoin life. Some of us here like you, don't ask me why.
I have come here because playing single-player computer games has cost me a tremendous amount of money, time, love, success, friendship, and various other valuable commodities. I have been playing these games off and on since about 1989, spending countless hours on them instead of working for money, fulfilling professional and social and family obligations, exercising, practicing and composing and performing music, reading and a vast array of other activities that make up a fulfilling life. That much is probably obvious and differs only in detail from the reason most other gamers, as opposed to family and friends of gamers, are here.
Less obviously, maybe, is that I'm here because I have found great success (so far, anyway) with giving up other addictions, specifially booze and drugs, with the assistance of communities of people who are trying to do the same thing. Just recently -- 74 days ago to be exact -- I quit drinking alcohol, which was threatening to kill me, after first destroying me and damaging everyone and everything unlucky enough to depend on me or care about me. The main agency in quitting was an online community called Smart Recovery, at smartrecovery.org.
Smart is a long-established alternative to AA for people who have difficult accepting certain aspects of that discipline. It relies to a great degree on worksheets and tools drawn mostly from cognitive therapy and rational emotive behavior therapy. I've done hundreds if not thousands of cost-benefit analyses and similar written exercises to help straighten out my goofy behavior. It's been pretty successful in many ways. However, it didn't work on drinking without the assistance of the online community, especially the daily check-in threads where people visit daily to tell how they are doing quitting whatever it is they're quitting (usually alcohol but also pot, pills, etc.), how long it's been since they got loaded, whether they have relapsed recently, what kinds of urges they're getting and how they're dealing with them, and so on.
Ever since I first posted to a daily check-in thread, I haven't touched a drop of booze. This is after several years of increasingly serious drinking after my former wife sued for divorce, which of course involves getting kicked out of your house, estranged from your kids and other hardships, perhaps the most important of which is having the freedom to drink yourself into blackout every night. I had tried to quit drinking numerous times over the last few years, with mixed but generally very poor success. I was up to a liter of vodka or four bottles of wine a night, and it seemed that death, jail or something similar was on the horizon.
Anyway, all is well, for the moment, on the drinking. Now I'd like to tackle the other problem -- computer gaming -- which has been around even longer and probably cost me even more than drinking. My problems are a handful of games -- the vintage roleplaying game Nethack, the updated version of the vintage strategy game Empire and, at other times, the only slightly less antique military game Close Combat. None are online, at least the way I play them. I am not interested in Warcraft, Everquest or other MMORPG games.
Actually, I'm not interested in Nethack, Empire, Close Combat or any computer game. I want to quit playing them and start devoting the attention that is deserved by activities such as working, earning money, exercising, athletic competitions, making music, socializing, volunteering, relationships, parenting, sex and the rest of my generally healthy and gratifying interests. I'm hoping this thread, or perhaps another one on this site, can do the same thing for me when it comes to gaming that the Smart daily check-in threads did for drinking.
What do you think? Do you want to know more about these check-in threads? Can somebody step up and be my online peer pressure and social support and advice- and worry-sharing group? Come on, folks. I need some help here. I'll try to give back as good as I get.
Hi I am Dirk, I am just beginning so I may make a few errors especially when it comes to modding my real life character.
At the moment he likes
Reading, swimming, running, talking with real people and school and work. He is late 30s and a fun person to be around, and is generally well liked. He is a rocovering alcoholic and drug addict. He has been clean and sober for over 20 months and is finally attempting to get his life in order. He does not need to keep going down the destructive path of gaming addiction.
—
No, World of Tanks and Second Life, I will not play you or your brethren today. At least I hope not. one day at a tiiiiiiime. Last day I gamed is now 13 May 2012.
My character name is Josh. He lives in Hawaii and loves his dogs and girlfriend. He is a drug addict, porn addict, and video game addict. He has decided to get his life in order. His higher power is the 4-steps written by Jeffery Shwartz. He loves OLGA and attends to it as much as possible. He is 24 years old. He always looking for job.
It is our neglect to speak out on injustice that will ruin us as a people and as a nation. We the people cannot sit and watch this politcal game go unheeded any longer. http://www.movetoamend.org
Two things happened yesterday that caused me to question once again the amount of time I spent gaming. One was a web comic and the other...I just can't remember right now.
In the comic a character that has been gone comes back and has made some positive growth in her life. The ex-boyfriend she left behind suddenly realizes that he hasn't really changed or grown in comparison and is understandable upset about it.
Although I have done a lot of things in my life, and although gaming has never come close to costing me my job, education, or marriage, I do realize that gaming, like other addictions has cost me a large section of my life by way of social development, friends, and time that should have been spent toward the fulfillment of my dreams. Time I should have spent writing, drawing, taking photos, or simply seeking out real people to interact with has been wasted.
In the last 4-5 months, I've started spending money on Perfect World International. I can't believe I've spent money on a free game. I'd say that I'm in for about a hundred dollars at this point, and compared to what others here have spent I know I'm fortunate to see it this early. This realization has caused me to look at other time eating, money wasting, health destroying, and socially bankrupting activities that I have engaged in over the years.
Someone once said to me that discipline is like a muscle. Start with just one thing and if it is exercised everyday, it becomes stronger and grows and gives you the strength to conquer yourself in other ways.
I'm going to stop today. Once I log out of here, I'll be setting my characters into delete mode and purging my computer of the game client. I want more out of myself and more out of life. I want to be somebody worth knowing. Wish me luck.
Hi tksolan and welcome to Olga. I congratulate you on making the choice to stop gaming. You are so right that it is an extremely time-wasting endeavor and with absolutely nothing to show for it in real life. I wish you all the best in getting back to living and enjoying your real life.
—
Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending. ~Maria Robinson
Congratulations on your decision, tk! That webcomic seems interesting, please share the link if you still have it. I also left PWI and there's nothing free about it, it's designed and optimized to engage you then make you spend a lot of money on it. I was careful not to get too hooked on spending but I spent about $200. My former partner lost interest in playing with me and would spend most of her time only playing with people that had spent $2,000 or more so they were more effective at high level content. She had spent about $1,000 and I couldn't keep up with her anymore. I don't want to go much further so not to hijack this thread, maybe you should start a new one.
—
Healthy enthusiasms add to life, addictions take away from it.
Hey, tksolan. First, major props on day one! That's how is has to start. You have made a great beginning. Nice work!
I'm not sure discipline is necessarily the main thing here, however. I think a lot of it has to do with understanding what gaming is really costing you and also understanding what you're really getting out of it. If you decide it's worth it to keep gaming, who am I to tell you what to do with your life? If you really do want to quit gaming, it's a matter of coming up with some other activities that are demonstrably better at getting what you want. Even if what you want is just relaxation and pleasure, there are often activities other than gaming that will do it -- dancing, eating, drinking, having sex (can we say that here?), shopping, napping, talking with friends, watching movies, reading, etc. I think developing a talent can be a great one, so music, art, dancing (again), cooking, etc are also candidates. Once you think of something that sounds appealing, and then find that by gosh it does work better than gaming at getting you want you want, and without the nasty side effects, it stops being about discipline and starts being about just doing what you want, which now does not include gaming.
Anyway, that's one way to look at it. And it's a lot more fun than assuming it's all about gritting your teeth and displaying iron determination and self-denial.
Today I reached a culmination of sorts, or at least an interim goal, in a real-life campaign game I'm playing regarding running. That was setting a new personal record in a 10K race. Thanks to the training I've been doing, I enjoyed the whole race, although it was tough at times, and was smiling almost the whole way. It felt great to cross the finish more than two minutes ahead of my old personal best and still feel I had gas in the tank and could have run faster. Thousands of real-life people were watching, TV cameras were recording it, my girlfriend took some video of me along the route and my name and time will be published in the paper tomorrow. That's better than any game I ever played. The buzz from winning a game disappears in seconds, no matter how challenging it was, as far as I can recall. This buzz will last for weeks, and the fact of this accomplishment will last forever. (Right now, my calves feel like they have been beaten with a basedball bat, too, but I didn't say it was perfect.)
So that's how I'm developing my character, and that's why I don't think is all about will and discipline, at all. Thanks for posting and reading.
There are all sorts of ideas going through my head as I spend time thinking about what motivates me to seek out diversions from reality. That is what gaming, and a few other things, offered. A vehicle for what I've come to think of as a "walter Mitty" complex, the desire to live in a world that caters to my imagination instead of this one.
What I'm ultimatly trying to do is to stop being the person who pays (in time or money) to enjoy a fantasy world created by someone else and instead be the person who creates a world that others want to spend time in.
For those who are curious, here is the link to the webcomic I spoke of and the defining moment for one of the characters.
http://www.pvponline.com/2011/03/25/red-faced/
You may want to start here to get a clearer picture of the situation.
http://www.pvponline.com/2011/03/22/arrivals/
(Rough life lesson.)
Ironically the webcomic started as a take on pop culture and the gaming industry, but its changed over the years as its creator has matured.
Hey, tksolan. What if you spent five minutes writing down four headers: 1) What I like about gaming, 2) What I don't like about gaming, 3) What I like about not gaming and 4) What I don't like aobut not gaming, and then listing a few items under each one? I think this is a decent way to get a handle on why you gamed, why you want to stop, what's making it difficult and what's keeping you working at it. Here's an example: http://www.olganon.org/?q=node/20920
Siunds like you're doing well. I hope it keeps up that way for you.
1) What I like about gaming: the excitment, the thrill. 2) What I don't like about gaming: isolation and not going anywhere in life financially. 3) What I like about not gaming: OLGA, recovery, and lots of free time! 4) What I don't like about not gaming: Almost bored because of the void I have inside of myself, the emptiness which I don't know what to fill it with.
Hey, mario. I feel the void, too. I wonder what you could to do bring some of that game-like excitement and thrill into your real life. Other Olganoids have come up with these (probably partial) solutions:
- One guy got involved in a society that does historical re-enactments.
- I started doing music shows and training to set a new personal best in the 5K.
- Another woman picked up her long-neglected instrument and joined a local orchestra.
- One kid joined the weight-lifting team at his high school.
I enjoy artwork and writing literature. I'm especially gifted with the written word.
I'm very creative.
I'm intelligent.
I am a voracious reader.
I have been working out intensively with a trainer at a gym for four weeks now.
I love my husband, family, and cat-children.
I do struggle with General Anxiety Disorder, Clinical Depression, and ADD, but I am in recovery.
I am an American who married a Canadian and moved to Canada.
I took my first steps into MMO game addiction recovery: I left my raid on Thursday and canceled my account yesterday. I've been game free for two days: April 7, 2011 for future documentation!
My List of Alternative Activities to Gaming:
Drawing
Writing
Reading
Posting to Support Sites, Chat Groups
Attending Meet-Up.Com Groups
Watching TV/Movies
Cleaning/Laundry
Journaling
Exercise
Crochet and other Crafting
Blogging
—
*~*~*~*~*~* MMORPG free since April 7, 2011. *~*~*~*~*~*
"Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt." ~William Shakespeare
The Wisdom of Yoda: "Do or do not. There is no try."
"Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering." "Named must your fear be before banish it you can."
Hey, nice work, Crimson Serenity. You sound like you're doing well and making some good moves toward giving up gaming. I especially think exercise seems to help a lot of people very significantly, for some reason. I've never had my own personal trainer, although I've been in some coached group programs before. How do you like it? Congrats on canceling your accounting and going -- what is it? two days now? -- game-free. Well done. How are you doing now?
I'm enjoying the personal training. I got a bargain on the price and my parents are helping me with the cost. It's probably one of the most difficult things I've done in a long time, but I'm gaining a sense of confidence from it. My trainer makes me accountable, too, and that helps keep me from falling off the wagon. Exercise boosts serotonin, the "happy" chemical in the brain, so it's natural for it to help ease depression. It also reduces anxiety and eliminates some of that "nervous energy" feeling.
As far as canceling my account goes... I'm feeling good about it so far. I've found a couple of other ways to find social support -- and as long as I keep pursuing those, I think I will be okay. I'm only really in danger of relapsing if I get too lonesome. 99% of the addiction for me is based on the social aspect.
—
*~*~*~*~*~* MMORPG free since April 7, 2011. *~*~*~*~*~*
"Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt." ~William Shakespeare
The Wisdom of Yoda: "Do or do not. There is no try."
"Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering." "Named must your fear be before banish it you can."
Just had a friend change my password to my Heroes of Newerth account and had them not tell me! I feel good about quitting, but sad that it has taken me so long to do. I will probably fail an exam but most likely needed to so that I learn from this mistake, yet again.
I had kicked gaming before when I was addicted to DOTA by selling my game disks and then an event happened to me where I turned to playing games to ease my distress. I kept telling myself just one more match, but it was never that way for me. I still have my gf, and my job and I pay my bills on time but I want more from life and gaming was/is not giving it to me. I have gained weight and with gaming gone I am looking forward to getting back into shape. I realize that gaming is not something I can control so I will just quit it all together. It is weird that I can feel my brain chemistry changing on the first day and that I feel like my future will be brighter in the end.
I read the post about strengthening the discipline muscle and believe that whole heartedly. I am looking to get back into some really good habits and report in on what and how I have been doing.
Awesome news, theswervin! Getting back in shape I think is an essential part of beginning to feel good about yourself. You don't have to anything crazy. Being a person of extremes myself I started doing P90X and man was it difficult but fun. I could've probably done just a fraction of what was involved in the program and been just fine. The diet part alone is really the most important. Eat healthy, eat regularly (3 regular meals + 2 snacks like nuts/fruit/carrots) and maintain portion control.
With all of your extra free time you'll ace that next exam. I think you've tapped into a great motivational factor that will help you a lot going forward. There are ups and downs, but really celebrate the ups!
Hi theswervin and welcome to Olga. Congratulations on finding your way out of your game. That's a hard place to come to, but the first step in getting your life back. Gaming to ease distress is a great trigger for many of us....I know it is for me. We're so used to going to the game for that very reason that it's hard to change. But we must if we want to live game-free and you can do it. When you get those urges to game, come here to Olga and read posts. Attend meetings if you can, and post your frustrations to receive support and encouragement.
With addiction, self-discipline can only take us so far. The addiction is extremely insidious and cunning and can con us into going back to the game. That's when we need outside help from a Higher Power, Olga or maybe just someone to talk to about it. I hope you can stay game-free and wish you all the best!
—
Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending. ~Maria Robinson
I don't know how I did it but I passed my graduate exams. I am now a Master in Biology with concentrations in molecular biology and immunology.
Heck yeah, man! The future's so bright, you're gonna have to wear shades! (ok, that was a bit silly and cliche lol)
I'm proud of you. I've known some very bright biologists and immunologists in my day, and don't I know know we need more of them around to tackle some of the greatest mystery's of the world. Hats off to you and a big hf!
Had a little relapse last week for 2 days, but then I snapped out of it by reading some posts and started working on myself again. I can see this will be a struggle but I am getting worse at playing the game as I spend less time on it and that is also making me not want to play as well :). I am going out for walks instead of playing and remembering who I was before I started playing these games. Thank you all again for your support and sharing your stories as well. It is a great support.
Hi all--and thank you for sharing your progress. It's been a touchstone for me.
It's been just over a year since I stopped using Second Life. It took a lot of discipline but in some ways had run its course. Ironic because I uncovered many aspects of myself playing the game, and am glad for that. In the end it took much more than it gave.
Progress.
I've read many books, got up to speed with the latest novels. This has really expanded my mind. Sometimes I read a passage in a book and it touches me so much...I mean it actually brings a tear to my eyes. I'm glad for such moments...everything is truly alright in the world. There is a feeling of deep connection. Having finished a story, I gain something to share with people, whether conversation or literally swapping books.
I'm lucky to have a job I enjoy, which happens to be pressurised and creative(I'm a chef). Looking back over the last year, I've made some leaps forward in building my team, my own cooking, gained critical recognition, learned much more how to appreciate and work with people in true synergy. I'm just realising, I would have overlooked so many of those opportunities, had I been preoccupied with the virtual world.
Am really trying to resuscitate my painting hobby, its a long term goal but I've made four pictures in the last year.
Am acknowledging the real, somewhat crazy possiblity of reuniting with my wife who I separated with 3 years ago. SL, and my hidden world, was a catalyst in the ending of our relationship.
Realising I still need to create more excitement in my life, outside of my job. That's a big challenge.
Gained something priceless. Quitting SL made me realise much more clearly the other addictions I have--some I've confronted, others yet to tackle. It feels like wisdom, kind of a cliche word, something a magician or wizard has!
Achievements unlocked: Graduated high school, got some art awards in high school, went to college for art and illustration, Joined the military, Certified Medical Technitian
Quests: Learn how to paint with Oils. Learn how to draw architecture, Get a portfolio together for college.
Stats:
Can draw really well.
can communicate feelings and is skilled at discussions.
Hi killer and welcome to Olga. I'm so glad you found us. It's amazing how addictive gaming can destroy all of our other interests. I too am an artist, but when I started gaming, I had very little desire to do any kind of artwork anymore....I just wanted to game. I'm so glad I was finally able to stop gaming after 8 years of wasting my life away on it. It's only been with the help of this website that I've been able to stay stopped. I hope you'll stick around and use the resources here to help you quit and get your life back. We're all in this together and support and encourage each other to keep our lives game-free. It's not an easy task, but we're doing it and so can you. Best of luck to you.
—
Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending. ~Maria Robinson
I have been bouncing back from here to WoWdetox and back just reading things. Some people have had their lives ruined by letting themselves be addicted to this game. I have tried to cut back, or even outright quit, but that has never happened.
I feel like the past couple years is a blur, and I do not know what has happened between the ages of 20-24. I know I was married and divorced in that timeframe, and I joined the military, but not much else. I finally have a good girlfriend, but she is suffering now, after a few months into the relationship. I can see the repeated past coming to haunt me and I know that the girl I am with now does not deserve that.
I want to change for her, I want to change for me.
Hi Killer. WOW was also my game of choice. Played since open beta until last June.
It took me forever to quit that game. A year and a half I spent trying to moderate, cut back, stop, be casual, stop, moderate, cut back, rinse repeat.
And the game itself had changed so much since open beta that unless I spent 3 hours minimum every day just to keep up, I couldn't raid. And that's all I wanted, raiding. I was not in it for companionship, love, romance, chuckling about stupid conversations in General Chat, acquiring achievements or plushy animals, pets or mounts, or anything else...I wanted to raid.
Of course, I did end up getting pets, mounts and plush animals...my addiction got worse and worse.
So last year, June, I quit cold turkey. Didn't tell anyone. Didn't sell anything. Didn't give anything away. Just quit and became slightly addicted to OLGA which is fine with me as I can have a normal life now and get everything done I want to do.
What progress have I made in the 20 years I have been gaming? Far less than the 30 days since I decided I had to stop.
I found olga about that time, thanks to another gamer.
I've been attending 2-4 meetings a week.
Ive acknowledged my addiction to my wife, my father, my children, and most importantly, myself, over and over.
Ive acknowledged that it controls me and I am powerless to control it or set any kind of limitations.
Ive started to probe all the damage my gaming has done to my life and others, even though it is a difficult, ****ing analysis of selfishness, disregard, and entitlement.
I have committed to rebuilding my marriage despite uncertainty that it can be repaired. It may be too late to undo what I have done, I can only work for the chance to try.
I have sought out a counselor and attended my first intake session .
Went to the library and the bookstore, bought and borrowed books on addiction, adult ADHD, testimonials of addicts, and other topics. Ordered a copy of the AA Big Book.
Yesterday I set an outside 'departure' date and told people what it is. Began wrapping up 'game business.' And started giving away all this Valuable Stuff I've hoarded for my character's 'future'.
Today I feel the first real pangs of regret and angst about my decision to leave. Not doubt, so much as fear, and loss.
I know that Easy Does It but this does not feel Easy today and I don't expect it will for a very long time.
—
Twelve miles into the forest, 12 miles out.
Left my poisonous game July 4, 2012. Left online communities June 4, 2013.
The more distance you gain from the games the easier it'll get. Remember that. I promise it's true. Logging in and right back out is dangerous. Reading about gaming by way of forums, etc., watching videos with gaming references, chatting with game buddies - is self-torture. All of it is going to create misery for you until you completely, willingly disconnect from it all. Giving up the games gets so very much easier once we really give them up, no toe in the door. Not saying it's easy, but it definitely gets easier quicker by deciding which path we're on and staying on that path. Keep coming back here! Join the winning side
—
Acceptance. When I am disturbed, it is because a person, place, thing, or situation is unacceptable to me. I find no serenity until I accept my life as being exactly the way it is meant to be. Nothing happens in God’s world by mistake. Acknowledge the problem, but live the solution!
I gave myself almost all of July to cease and desist but it's been easy to give all those so-valuable possessions away and say goodbye to these people who I do not know and will never know. I decided instead to start detox a month earlier. Why waste all of July? Tuesday night, that is the end of it. Wednesday I will wake up to my own Independence Day.
Im struck by the high percentage that swear I'll be back -- no one ever leaves for good -- you love it too much -- please don't leave, you are so much fun, so funny, your character is so awesome -- what will you do without it -- and so on. So many more than 'I get it, good luck with what really matters.'
—
Twelve miles into the forest, 12 miles out.
Left my poisonous game July 4, 2012. Left online communities June 4, 2013.
Im struck by the high percentage that swear I'll be back -- no one ever leaves for good -- you love it too much -- please don't leave, you are so much fun, so funny, your character is so awesome -- what will you do without it -- and so on. So many more than 'I get it, good luck with what really matters.'
Oh me too, I played my game of choice for 7 years and I got lots of statements like the above. I had to give up the people I played with, texted with, talked on skype and vent with; getting rid of the game meant getting rid of everything in connection with it.
The people I played with (who I thought I valued and who valued me) were probably as addicted as I was and since it took about 10 or 25 people all logging in at the same time to do anything in the game, one person missing was FELT! However, I couldn't be working in the candy store anymore if I had diabetes and was tempted by the treats.
That feeling of abandoning my guild mates lasted a couple of months but I got close to some recovering people here and they supported me like no guild could ever support me. These people here really cared how I felt. And some still care.
Does the guild still miss me? not really, they got someone else right away to fill the gap and their lives moved on. People who can game moderately or can drink moderately have no problems with other gamers and drinkers. But I didn't hang around bars when I quit drinking, so therefore I don't hang around gamers who probably don't have the problems I did.
I enjoyed both drinking and gaming, but since I had gotten addicted to both, no longer can enjoy or control my drinking and gaming.
But life is resilient. Right now I've rediscovered cooking, growing the vegetables and herbs for the cooking, and yoga. I've not been this happy in years.
That feeling of abandoning my guild mates lasted a couple of months but I got close to some recovering people here and they supported me like no guild could ever support me. These people here really cared how I felt. And some still care.
Does the guild still miss me? not really, they got someone else right away to fill the gap and their lives moved on.
And if we spend lots of time on OLGA for a while, we can know that the object of being here is to help each other live real lives rather than pull others into the sink hole of gaming with us. That's a significant difference in my mind.
—
Acceptance. When I am disturbed, it is because a person, place, thing, or situation is unacceptable to me. I find no serenity until I accept my life as being exactly the way it is meant to be. Nothing happens in God’s world by mistake. Acknowledge the problem, but live the solution!
Thank you for being here. I love this idea. I'm at work, so I can't read and write too much, but better this than gaming.
I am a good communicator, not in the has-an-awesome-vocabulary way, but in the knows-how-to-listen-and-ask-questions-until-I-understand kind of way.
I'm a really nice person (when my codependency is in check). I am always learning and growing.
Today at work I'm trying a new thing. My team has some personality issues, and so I have decided to play two parts a. myself the worker and b. my own boss. I'm going to make up an imaginary boss for myself, one that has all the qualities that I would like in a boss. Such as not letting me get away with playing games, not letting other people violate my boundaries, encouraging me to keep going, and celebrating my sucesses.
So I guess for today, I have two real characters, instead of just one. That is how I want to play it anyway. I will check in to tell you how it went. I will also try to read some more posts here.
Love this, Alicia. Kudos for being aware of the stress and coming up with a creative way of managing it rather than running from it. Looking forward to hearing how it goes.
—
Acceptance. When I am disturbed, it is because a person, place, thing, or situation is unacceptable to me. I find no serenity until I accept my life as being exactly the way it is meant to be. Nothing happens in God’s world by mistake. Acknowledge the problem, but live the solution!
A quick check-in here. The craving is hitting me. There is a clique here at work that I'm not a part of. I don't have much interaction with them these days, but today I'm faced with another opportunity lost to me because I'm not accepted by that clique. I feel sad.
So far today I have been able to stay busy with work tasks, so that is ideal. I guess I feel a little better for stopping and recognizing this feeling of sadness. I went for a walk half way around the block, because I was getting really cold sitting here at the computer. So now I'm warm and I'm going to move on to my next task.
I feel a tad silly but here is what my BOSS (self) says: YOU ARE NEEDED BY [this company]. YOU ARE DOING THEM A GREAT SERVICE BY HANDLING THE [this project] FOR THEM. NO ONE ELSE HERE WANTS TO DO THAT JOB. THEY DO APPRECIATE YOU, EVEN IF THEY ARE NOT SAYING THAT RIGHT NOW. THEY HAVE SAID IT BEFORE. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK.
On TV, I saw this software that is actually a "voice coach" for singing. I thought it looked interesting, but I was not able to watch it long enough to get the information. I always wanted to sing better.
Wow, me too. Thank you for sharing about that software. I didn't know such a thing existed.
Good to hear from you percy. Glad to hear things are going well.
"Small service is true service while it lasts. Of humblest friends, bright creature! scorn not one
The daisy, by the shadow that it casts,
Protects the lingering dewdrop from the sun." -------William Wordsworth
From reading and posting this morning, I realized that I haven't had the urge to play in a LONG while. After talking to my Psychologist last week, I realized that my family was the "Elite, specialized and differently-skilled" group I needed. Whenever I hear people talk about WoW, I feel this ... revulsion. Almost like I can sense VAMPIRES or something. HA-HA-HA! I've stared studying music theory again, and am going to get my 8 yo to do it with me. I think my wife is borderline addicted to GAIA again, however. *sigh*
My Gamer Bio
"The eye sees only what the mind is prepared to comprehend" -Henri Bergson
Well i have been free of wow for just over 4 months now and today i slept in again and it felt so nice to be feeling refreshed when i woke up before i quit wow i was over tired another thing is my finger aches i had is gone :D from all the typing and clicking of the mouse i started readingA again something i enjoy very much and i found a superb program on TV that my wife and myself like watching TOP GEAR its great all about beautiful cars and it is very funny one other thing i noticed is the bags i used to have under my eyes is going away and I'm losing some weight i do get tempted still to go on world of warcraft but i decided cold turkey is the best for me after i played the f2p wow i canceledA my account it has been frozen for just over 4 months now and i think they only keep it frozen for 6 months then they delete the account so only about 1 month and 3 quarters to go there is some friends on there who i will miss but not enough to start playing again I'm just happy my mmorpg days is over.
I come to the boards and read the struggles of others. It helps me to know what where I have come from. I can remember, one way or another, always being on the computer. I no longer am but it helps me to see others stories so I don't revert. I tend to lurk. I like it better that way. Best of luck to you all. Maverick
Someone might want to look at the initial post of this thread, I think it could use an edit.
Today I uninstalled MSN and all similar software, I am using only e-mail - I feel terrible ;s
Report number one for me: Today I've uninstalled all of the games I had on, except chess, which I hardly ever play, but perhaps I will learn it, without the distractions. Actually, I never realized how many violent games I had.... I just freed up at least 30 gigs. I had just bought another one two days ago, but I'm not playing it, it was the last straw. I feel more free already. I had felt free when I cancelled one of my MMO subscriptions a few weeks ago, should have just given them up altogether. And what's with the first post in this thread? OCD section is that way >>> :)
If you play video games, turn them off once in a while and rejoin life. Some of us here like you, don't ask me why.
Thracius, congratulations on making the decision and then implementing the action of removing all of your games. I hope that you will be able to stay away from them and get your life back in order.
As for the first post in this thread, I am not sure what happened with it. However, I have fixed it now. I am not sure what you mean by "OCD section is that way". If by "OCD" you mean "Obsessive Compulsive Disorder", although there are some posts regarding it, there is no section for it that I am aware of. If you have found any sort of similar problems elsewhere, please let me or any one of the other staff know about it so that we can investigate and fix them.
- John O.
[em]Carpe Diem![/em] (Seize the Day!)
I was just kidding, a lot of gamers indeed have an obsessive compulsive disorder, whether it be smoking, drinking cola or water, or any other form or ocd, even repeating certain words in the middle of sentences, when they don't make any sense in context seems I still have some gaming forum attitude in me, probably picked it up from eve online, where mockery is common; a new player, or even a veteran will make a thread regarding a certain problem he has, such as being harassed or losing all his assets at once, given the vicious nature of eve online and another player will post something like "whine forum is that way --->" etc. I'll get it out of my system eventually, now that the source of the problem has been removed
If you play video games, turn them off once in a while and rejoin life. Some of us here like you, don't ask me why.
I have come here because playing single-player computer games has cost me a tremendous amount of money, time, love, success, friendship, and various other valuable commodities. I have been playing these games off and on since about 1989, spending countless hours on them instead of working for money, fulfilling professional and social and family obligations, exercising, practicing and composing and performing music, reading and a vast array of other activities that make up a fulfilling life. That much is probably obvious and differs only in detail from the reason most other gamers, as opposed to family and friends of gamers, are here.
Less obviously, maybe, is that I'm here because I have found great success (so far, anyway) with giving up other addictions, specifially booze and drugs, with the assistance of communities of people who are trying to do the same thing. Just recently -- 74 days ago to be exact -- I quit drinking alcohol, which was threatening to kill me, after first destroying me and damaging everyone and everything unlucky enough to depend on me or care about me. The main agency in quitting was an online community called Smart Recovery, at smartrecovery.org.
Smart is a long-established alternative to AA for people who have difficult accepting certain aspects of that discipline. It relies to a great degree on worksheets and tools drawn mostly from cognitive therapy and rational emotive behavior therapy. I've done hundreds if not thousands of cost-benefit analyses and similar written exercises to help straighten out my goofy behavior. It's been pretty successful in many ways. However, it didn't work on drinking without the assistance of the online community, especially the daily check-in threads where people visit daily to tell how they are doing quitting whatever it is they're quitting (usually alcohol but also pot, pills, etc.), how long it's been since they got loaded, whether they have relapsed recently, what kinds of urges they're getting and how they're dealing with them, and so on.
Ever since I first posted to a daily check-in thread, I haven't touched a drop of booze. This is after several years of increasingly serious drinking after my former wife sued for divorce, which of course involves getting kicked out of your house, estranged from your kids and other hardships, perhaps the most important of which is having the freedom to drink yourself into blackout every night. I had tried to quit drinking numerous times over the last few years, with mixed but generally very poor success. I was up to a liter of vodka or four bottles of wine a night, and it seemed that death, jail or something similar was on the horizon.
Anyway, all is well, for the moment, on the drinking. Now I'd like to tackle the other problem -- computer gaming -- which has been around even longer and probably cost me even more than drinking. My problems are a handful of games -- the vintage roleplaying game Nethack, the updated version of the vintage strategy game Empire and, at other times, the only slightly less antique military game Close Combat. None are online, at least the way I play them. I am not interested in Warcraft, Everquest or other MMORPG games.
Actually, I'm not interested in Nethack, Empire, Close Combat or any computer game. I want to quit playing them and start devoting the attention that is deserved by activities such as working, earning money, exercising, athletic competitions, making music, socializing, volunteering, relationships, parenting, sex and the rest of my generally healthy and gratifying interests. I'm hoping this thread, or perhaps another one on this site, can do the same thing for me when it comes to gaming that the Smart daily check-in threads did for drinking.
What do you think? Do you want to know more about these check-in threads? Can somebody step up and be my online peer pressure and social support and advice- and worry-sharing group? Come on, folks. I need some help here. I'll try to give back as good as I get.
Hi I am Dirk, I am just beginning so I may make a few errors especially when it comes to modding my real life character.
At the moment he likes
Reading, swimming, running, talking with real people and school and work. He is late 30s and a fun person to be around, and is generally well liked. He is a rocovering alcoholic and drug addict. He has been clean and sober for over 20 months and is finally attempting to get his life in order. He does not need to keep going down the destructive path of gaming addiction.
No, World of Tanks and Second Life, I will not play you or your brethren today. At least I hope not. one day at a tiiiiiiime. Last day I gamed is now 13 May 2012.
My character name is Josh. He lives in Hawaii and loves his dogs and girlfriend. He is a drug addict, porn addict, and video game addict. He has decided to get his life in order. His higher power is the 4-steps written by Jeffery Shwartz. He loves OLGA and attends to it as much as possible. He is 24 years old. He always looking for job.
Mario
"DING"
I'm a good writer and love doing it
I have alot of skill points in height
My charasmatic skills are above average
I have unlocked a new home which I take my first step into on febuary 1st
I love my dog.
I took my first step into video game recovery
Bye for now, let you know the next time I level up!
-Michael-
-118009 EXP. Back down to level 1.
Weakness to lying to myself +50
Weakness to my dad's new PS3 +1000
Strength to keep going +1
Status: Zombie
It is our neglect to speak out on injustice that will ruin us as a people and as a nation. We the people cannot sit and watch this politcal game go unheeded any longer. http://www.movetoamend.org
This will be day one for me.
Two things happened yesterday that caused me to question once again the amount of time I spent gaming. One was a web comic and the other...I just can't remember right now.
In the comic a character that has been gone comes back and has made some positive growth in her life. The ex-boyfriend she left behind suddenly realizes that he hasn't really changed or grown in comparison and is understandable upset about it.
Although I have done a lot of things in my life, and although gaming has never come close to costing me my job, education, or marriage, I do realize that gaming, like other addictions has cost me a large section of my life by way of social development, friends, and time that should have been spent toward the fulfillment of my dreams. Time I should have spent writing, drawing, taking photos, or simply seeking out real people to interact with has been wasted.
In the last 4-5 months, I've started spending money on Perfect World International. I can't believe I've spent money on a free game. I'd say that I'm in for about a hundred dollars at this point, and compared to what others here have spent I know I'm fortunate to see it this early. This realization has caused me to look at other time eating, money wasting, health destroying, and socially bankrupting activities that I have engaged in over the years.
Someone once said to me that discipline is like a muscle. Start with just one thing and if it is exercised everyday, it becomes stronger and grows and gives you the strength to conquer yourself in other ways.
I'm going to stop today. Once I log out of here, I'll be setting my characters into delete mode and purging my computer of the game client. I want more out of myself and more out of life. I want to be somebody worth knowing. Wish me luck.
Hi tksolan and welcome to Olga. I congratulate you on making the choice to stop gaming. You are so right that it is an extremely time-wasting endeavor and with absolutely nothing to show for it in real life. I wish you all the best in getting back to living and enjoying your real life.
Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending. ~Maria Robinson
Congratulations on your decision, tk! That webcomic seems interesting, please share the link if you still have it. I also left PWI and there's nothing free about it, it's designed and optimized to engage you then make you spend a lot of money on it. I was careful not to get too hooked on spending but I spent about $200. My former partner lost interest in playing with me and would spend most of her time only playing with people that had spent $2,000 or more so they were more effective at high level content. She had spent about $1,000 and I couldn't keep up with her anymore. I don't want to go much further so not to hijack this thread, maybe you should start a new one.
Healthy enthusiasms add to life, addictions take away from it.
Hey, tksolan. First, major props on day one! That's how is has to start. You have made a great beginning. Nice work!
I'm not sure discipline is necessarily the main thing here, however. I think a lot of it has to do with understanding what gaming is really costing you and also understanding what you're really getting out of it. If you decide it's worth it to keep gaming, who am I to tell you what to do with your life? If you really do want to quit gaming, it's a matter of coming up with some other activities that are demonstrably better at getting what you want. Even if what you want is just relaxation and pleasure, there are often activities other than gaming that will do it -- dancing, eating, drinking, having sex (can we say that here?), shopping, napping, talking with friends, watching movies, reading, etc. I think developing a talent can be a great one, so music, art, dancing (again), cooking, etc are also candidates. Once you think of something that sounds appealing, and then find that by gosh it does work better than gaming at getting you want you want, and without the nasty side effects, it stops being about discipline and starts being about just doing what you want, which now does not include gaming.
Anyway, that's one way to look at it. And it's a lot more fun than assuming it's all about gritting your teeth and displaying iron determination and self-denial.
Today I reached a culmination of sorts, or at least an interim goal, in a real-life campaign game I'm playing regarding running. That was setting a new personal record in a 10K race. Thanks to the training I've been doing, I enjoyed the whole race, although it was tough at times, and was smiling almost the whole way. It felt great to cross the finish more than two minutes ahead of my old personal best and still feel I had gas in the tank and could have run faster. Thousands of real-life people were watching, TV cameras were recording it, my girlfriend took some video of me along the route and my name and time will be published in the paper tomorrow. That's better than any game I ever played. The buzz from winning a game disappears in seconds, no matter how challenging it was, as far as I can recall. This buzz will last for weeks, and the fact of this accomplishment will last forever. (Right now, my calves feel like they have been beaten with a basedball bat, too, but I didn't say it was perfect.)
So that's how I'm developing my character, and that's why I don't think is all about will and discipline, at all. Thanks for posting and reading.
Thanks everybody for your encouraging comments.
There are all sorts of ideas going through my head as I spend time thinking about what motivates me to seek out diversions from reality. That is what gaming, and a few other things, offered. A vehicle for what I've come to think of as a "walter Mitty" complex, the desire to live in a world that caters to my imagination instead of this one.
What I'm ultimatly trying to do is to stop being the person who pays (in time or money) to enjoy a fantasy world created by someone else and instead be the person who creates a world that others want to spend time in.
For those who are curious, here is the link to the webcomic I spoke of and the defining moment for one of the characters.
http://www.pvponline.com/2011/03/25/red-faced/
You may want to start here to get a clearer picture of the situation.
http://www.pvponline.com/2011/03/22/arrivals/
(Rough life lesson.)
Ironically the webcomic started as a take on pop culture and the gaming industry, but its changed over the years as its creator has matured.
Yeah very interesting and powerful. Brings to mind how by gaming you can stop in time.
Healthy enthusiasms add to life, addictions take away from it.
Hey, tksolan. What if you spent five minutes writing down four headers: 1) What I like about gaming, 2) What I don't like about gaming, 3) What I like about not gaming and 4) What I don't like aobut not gaming, and then listing a few items under each one? I think this is a decent way to get a handle on why you gamed, why you want to stop, what's making it difficult and what's keeping you working at it. Here's an example: http://www.olganon.org/?q=node/20920
Siunds like you're doing well. I hope it keeps up that way for you.
1) What I like about gaming: the excitment, the thrill. 2) What I don't like about gaming: isolation and not going anywhere in life financially. 3) What I like about not gaming: OLGA, recovery, and lots of free time! 4) What I don't like about not gaming: Almost bored because of the void I have inside of myself, the emptiness which I don't know what to fill it with.
Thanks McPhee for that quick questionare!
Mario
Hey, mario. I feel the void, too. I wonder what you could to do bring some of that game-like excitement and thrill into your real life. Other Olganoids have come up with these (probably partial) solutions:
- One guy got involved in a society that does historical re-enactments.
- I started doing music shows and training to set a new personal best in the 5K.
- Another woman picked up her long-neglected instrument and joined a local orchestra.
- One kid joined the weight-lifting team at his high school.
Your thoughts?
"DING"
I enjoy artwork and writing literature. I'm especially gifted with the written word.
I'm very creative.
I'm intelligent.
I am a voracious reader.
I have been working out intensively with a trainer at a gym for four weeks now.
I love my husband, family, and cat-children.
I do struggle with General Anxiety Disorder, Clinical Depression, and ADD, but I am in recovery.
I am an American who married a Canadian and moved to Canada.
I took my first steps into MMO game addiction recovery: I left my raid on Thursday and canceled my account yesterday. I've been game free for two days: April 7, 2011 for future documentation!
My List of Alternative Activities to Gaming:
Drawing
Writing
Reading
Posting to Support Sites, Chat Groups
Attending Meet-Up.Com Groups
Watching TV/Movies
Cleaning/Laundry
Journaling
Exercise
Crochet and other Crafting
Blogging
*~*~*~*~*~* MMORPG free since April 7, 2011. *~*~*~*~*~*
"Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt." ~William Shakespeare
The Wisdom of Yoda: "Do or do not. There is no try."
"Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering." "Named must your fear be before banish it you can."
Hey, nice work, Crimson Serenity. You sound like you're doing well and making some good moves toward giving up gaming. I especially think exercise seems to help a lot of people very significantly, for some reason. I've never had my own personal trainer, although I've been in some coached group programs before. How do you like it? Congrats on canceling your accounting and going -- what is it? two days now? -- game-free. Well done. How are you doing now?
I'm enjoying the personal training. I got a bargain on the price and my parents are helping me with the cost. It's probably one of the most difficult things I've done in a long time, but I'm gaining a sense of confidence from it. My trainer makes me accountable, too, and that helps keep me from falling off the wagon. Exercise boosts serotonin, the "happy" chemical in the brain, so it's natural for it to help ease depression. It also reduces anxiety and eliminates some of that "nervous energy" feeling.
As far as canceling my account goes... I'm feeling good about it so far. I've found a couple of other ways to find social support -- and as long as I keep pursuing those, I think I will be okay. I'm only really in danger of relapsing if I get too lonesome. 99% of the addiction for me is based on the social aspect.
*~*~*~*~*~* MMORPG free since April 7, 2011. *~*~*~*~*~*
"Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt." ~William Shakespeare
The Wisdom of Yoda: "Do or do not. There is no try."
"Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering." "Named must your fear be before banish it you can."
Just had a friend change my password to my Heroes of Newerth account and had them not tell me! I feel good about quitting, but sad that it has taken me so long to do. I will probably fail an exam but most likely needed to so that I learn from this mistake, yet again.
I had kicked gaming before when I was addicted to DOTA by selling my game disks and then an event happened to me where I turned to playing games to ease my distress. I kept telling myself just one more match, but it was never that way for me. I still have my gf, and my job and I pay my bills on time but I want more from life and gaming was/is not giving it to me. I have gained weight and with gaming gone I am looking forward to getting back into shape. I realize that gaming is not something I can control so I will just quit it all together. It is weird that I can feel my brain chemistry changing on the first day and that I feel like my future will be brighter in the end.
I read the post about strengthening the discipline muscle and believe that whole heartedly. I am looking to get back into some really good habits and report in on what and how I have been doing.
Awesome news, theswervin! Getting back in shape I think is an essential part of beginning to feel good about yourself. You don't have to anything crazy. Being a person of extremes myself I started doing P90X and man was it difficult but fun. I could've probably done just a fraction of what was involved in the program and been just fine. The diet part alone is really the most important. Eat healthy, eat regularly (3 regular meals + 2 snacks like nuts/fruit/carrots) and maintain portion control.
With all of your extra free time you'll ace that next exam. I think you've tapped into a great motivational factor that will help you a lot going forward. There are ups and downs, but really celebrate the ups!
Hi theswervin and welcome to Olga. Congratulations on finding your way out of your game. That's a hard place to come to, but the first step in getting your life back. Gaming to ease distress is a great trigger for many of us....I know it is for me. We're so used to going to the game for that very reason that it's hard to change. But we must if we want to live game-free and you can do it. When you get those urges to game, come here to Olga and read posts. Attend meetings if you can, and post your frustrations to receive support and encouragement.
With addiction, self-discipline can only take us so far. The addiction is extremely insidious and cunning and can con us into going back to the game. That's when we need outside help from a Higher Power, Olga or maybe just someone to talk to about it. I hope you can stay game-free and wish you all the best!
Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending. ~Maria Robinson
I don't know how I did it but I passed my graduate exams. I am now a Master in Biology with concentrations in molecular biology and immunology.
Heck yeah, man! The future's so bright, you're gonna have to wear shades! (ok, that was a bit silly and cliche lol)
I'm proud of you. I've known some very bright biologists and immunologists in my day, and don't I know know we need more of them around to tackle some of the greatest mystery's of the world. Hats off to you and a big hf!
GRATS!!!!!
and welcome :)
Hey all,
Had a little relapse last week for 2 days, but then I snapped out of it by reading some posts and started working on myself again. I can see this will be a struggle but I am getting worse at playing the game as I spend less time on it and that is also making me not want to play as well :). I am going out for walks instead of playing and remembering who I was before I started playing these games. Thank you all again for your support and sharing your stories as well. It is a great support.
Hi all--and thank you for sharing your progress. It's been a touchstone for me.
It's been just over a year since I stopped using Second Life. It took a lot of discipline but in some ways had run its course. Ironic because I uncovered many aspects of myself playing the game, and am glad for that. In the end it took much more than it gave.
Progress.
I've read many books, got up to speed with the latest novels. This has really expanded my mind. Sometimes I read a passage in a book and it touches me so much...I mean it actually brings a tear to my eyes. I'm glad for such moments...everything is truly alright in the world. There is a feeling of deep connection. Having finished a story, I gain something to share with people, whether conversation or literally swapping books.
I'm lucky to have a job I enjoy, which happens to be pressurised and creative(I'm a chef). Looking back over the last year, I've made some leaps forward in building my team, my own cooking, gained critical recognition, learned much more how to appreciate and work with people in true synergy. I'm just realising, I would have overlooked so many of those opportunities, had I been preoccupied with the virtual world.
Am really trying to resuscitate my painting hobby, its a long term goal but I've made four pictures in the last year.
Am acknowledging the real, somewhat crazy possiblity of reuniting with my wife who I separated with 3 years ago. SL, and my hidden world, was a catalyst in the ending of our relationship.
Realising I still need to create more excitement in my life, outside of my job. That's a big challenge.
Gained something priceless. Quitting SL made me realise much more clearly the other addictions I have--some I've confronted, others yet to tackle. It feels like wisdom, kind of a cliche word, something a magician or wizard has!
Hello,
Character sheet:
Level 1 Human Artist.
Achievements unlocked: Graduated high school, got some art awards in high school, went to college for art and illustration, Joined the military, Certified Medical Technitian
Quests: Learn how to paint with Oils. Learn how to draw architecture, Get a portfolio together for college.
Stats:
Can draw really well.
can communicate feelings and is skilled at discussions.
Is interested in science fiction and fantasy
can devour an R.A. Salvatore book in a few days.
- SRK
Hi killer and welcome to Olga. I'm so glad you found us. It's amazing how addictive gaming can destroy all of our other interests. I too am an artist, but when I started gaming, I had very little desire to do any kind of artwork anymore....I just wanted to game. I'm so glad I was finally able to stop gaming after 8 years of wasting my life away on it. It's only been with the help of this website that I've been able to stay stopped. I hope you'll stick around and use the resources here to help you quit and get your life back. We're all in this together and support and encourage each other to keep our lives game-free. It's not an easy task, but we're doing it and so can you. Best of luck to you.
Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending. ~Maria Robinson
Hello,
I have been bouncing back from here to WoWdetox and back just reading things. Some people have had their lives ruined by letting themselves be addicted to this game. I have tried to cut back, or even outright quit, but that has never happened.
I feel like the past couple years is a blur, and I do not know what has happened between the ages of 20-24. I know I was married and divorced in that timeframe, and I joined the military, but not much else. I finally have a good girlfriend, but she is suffering now, after a few months into the relationship. I can see the repeated past coming to haunt me and I know that the girl I am with now does not deserve that.
I want to change for her, I want to change for me.
- SRK
Game terms, read with care.
Hi Killer. WOW was also my game of choice. Played since open beta until last June.
It took me forever to quit that game. A year and a half I spent trying to moderate, cut back, stop, be casual, stop, moderate, cut back, rinse repeat.
And the game itself had changed so much since open beta that unless I spent 3 hours minimum every day just to keep up, I couldn't raid. And that's all I wanted, raiding. I was not in it for companionship, love, romance, chuckling about stupid conversations in General Chat, acquiring achievements or plushy animals, pets or mounts, or anything else...I wanted to raid.
Of course, I did end up getting pets, mounts and plush animals...my addiction got worse and worse.
So last year, June, I quit cold turkey. Didn't tell anyone. Didn't sell anything. Didn't give anything away. Just quit and became slightly addicted to OLGA which is fine with me as I can have a normal life now and get everything done I want to do.
Stick around and enjoy real life again!
What progress have I made in the 20 years I have been gaming? Far less than the 30 days since I decided I had to stop.
I found olga about that time, thanks to another gamer.
I've been attending 2-4 meetings a week.
Ive acknowledged my addiction to my wife, my father, my children, and most importantly, myself, over and over.
Ive acknowledged that it controls me and I am powerless to control it or set any kind of limitations.
Ive started to probe all the damage my gaming has done to my life and others, even though it is a difficult, ****ing analysis of selfishness, disregard, and entitlement.
I have committed to rebuilding my marriage despite uncertainty that it can be repaired. It may be too late to undo what I have done, I can only work for the chance to try.
I have sought out a counselor and attended my first intake session .
Went to the library and the bookstore, bought and borrowed books on addiction, adult ADHD, testimonials of addicts, and other topics. Ordered a copy of the AA Big Book.
Yesterday I set an outside 'departure' date and told people what it is. Began wrapping up 'game business.' And started giving away all this Valuable Stuff I've hoarded for my character's 'future'.
Today I feel the first real pangs of regret and angst about my decision to leave. Not doubt, so much as fear, and loss.
I know that Easy Does It but this does not feel Easy today and I don't expect it will for a very long time.
Twelve miles into the forest, 12 miles out.
Left my poisonous game July 4, 2012. Left online communities June 4, 2013.
The more distance you gain from the games the easier it'll get. Remember that. I promise it's true. Logging in and right back out is dangerous. Reading about gaming by way of forums, etc., watching videos with gaming references, chatting with game buddies - is self-torture. All of it is going to create misery for you until you completely, willingly disconnect from it all. Giving up the games gets so very much easier once we really give them up, no toe in the door. Not saying it's easy, but it definitely gets easier quicker by deciding which path we're on and staying on that path. Keep coming back here! Join the winning side
Acceptance. When I am disturbed, it is because a person, place, thing, or situation is unacceptable to me. I find no serenity until I accept my life as being exactly the way it is meant to be. Nothing happens in God’s world by mistake. Acknowledge the problem, but live the solution!
I gave myself almost all of July to cease and desist but it's been easy to give all those so-valuable possessions away and say goodbye to these people who I do not know and will never know. I decided instead to start detox a month earlier. Why waste all of July? Tuesday night, that is the end of it. Wednesday I will wake up to my own Independence Day.
Im struck by the high percentage that swear I'll be back -- no one ever leaves for good -- you love it too much -- please don't leave, you are so much fun, so funny, your character is so awesome -- what will you do without it -- and so on. So many more than 'I get it, good luck with what really matters.'
Twelve miles into the forest, 12 miles out.
Left my poisonous game July 4, 2012. Left online communities June 4, 2013.
Alright, Exazzy! That's great news.
Don't pay attention to people who try to undermine you. Misery loves company.
"She generally gave herself very good advice, (though she very seldom followed it)." --Lewis Carroll
Oh me too, I played my game of choice for 7 years and I got lots of statements like the above. I had to give up the people I played with, texted with, talked on skype and vent with; getting rid of the game meant getting rid of everything in connection with it.
The people I played with (who I thought I valued and who valued me) were probably as addicted as I was and since it took about 10 or 25 people all logging in at the same time to do anything in the game, one person missing was FELT! However, I couldn't be working in the candy store anymore if I had diabetes and was tempted by the treats.
That feeling of abandoning my guild mates lasted a couple of months but I got close to some recovering people here and they supported me like no guild could ever support me. These people here really cared how I felt. And some still care.
Does the guild still miss me? not really, they got someone else right away to fill the gap and their lives moved on. People who can game moderately or can drink moderately have no problems with other gamers and drinkers. But I didn't hang around bars when I quit drinking, so therefore I don't hang around gamers who probably don't have the problems I did.
I enjoyed both drinking and gaming, but since I had gotten addicted to both, no longer can enjoy or control my drinking and gaming.
But life is resilient. Right now I've rediscovered cooking, growing the vegetables and herbs for the cooking, and yoga. I've not been this happy in years.
Patria thanks for this it's very helpful.
And if we spend lots of time on OLGA for a while, we can know that the object of being here is to help each other live real lives rather than pull others into the sink hole of gaming with us. That's a significant difference in my mind.
Acceptance. When I am disturbed, it is because a person, place, thing, or situation is unacceptable to me. I find no serenity until I accept my life as being exactly the way it is meant to be. Nothing happens in God’s world by mistake. Acknowledge the problem, but live the solution!
Hi All,
Thank you for being here. I love this idea. I'm at work, so I can't read and write too much, but better this than gaming.
I am a good communicator, not in the has-an-awesome-vocabulary way, but in the knows-how-to-listen-and-ask-questions-until-I-understand kind of way.
I'm a really nice person (when my codependency is in check). I am always learning and growing.
Today at work I'm trying a new thing. My team has some personality issues, and so I have decided to play two parts a. myself the worker and b. my own boss. I'm going to make up an imaginary boss for myself, one that has all the qualities that I would like in a boss. Such as not letting me get away with playing games, not letting other people violate my boundaries, encouraging me to keep going, and celebrating my sucesses.
So I guess for today, I have two real characters, instead of just one. That is how I want to play it anyway. I will check in to tell you how it went. I will also try to read some more posts here.
Thank you again,
Alicia & CHADWICK (LOL)
♥Alicia♥
October 15, 2019
Love this, Alicia. Kudos for being aware of the stress and coming up with a creative way of managing it rather than running from it. Looking forward to hearing how it goes.
Acceptance. When I am disturbed, it is because a person, place, thing, or situation is unacceptable to me. I find no serenity until I accept my life as being exactly the way it is meant to be. Nothing happens in God’s world by mistake. Acknowledge the problem, but live the solution!
Thank you, Gettingalife.
A quick check-in here. The craving is hitting me. There is a clique here at work that I'm not a part of. I don't have much interaction with them these days, but today I'm faced with another opportunity lost to me because I'm not accepted by that clique. I feel sad.
So far today I have been able to stay busy with work tasks, so that is ideal. I guess I feel a little better for stopping and recognizing this feeling of sadness. I went for a walk half way around the block, because I was getting really cold sitting here at the computer. So now I'm warm and I'm going to move on to my next task.
I feel a tad silly but here is what my BOSS (self) says: YOU ARE NEEDED BY [this company]. YOU ARE DOING THEM A GREAT SERVICE BY HANDLING THE [this project] FOR THEM. NO ONE ELSE HERE WANTS TO DO THAT JOB. THEY DO APPRECIATE YOU, EVEN IF THEY ARE NOT SAYING THAT RIGHT NOW. THEY HAVE SAID IT BEFORE. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK.
♥Alicia♥
October 15, 2019
Wow, me too. Thank you for sharing about that software. I didn't know such a thing existed.
♥Alicia♥
October 15, 2019