Darn if it isn't hard to quit. Here I am on day 4 and its really eating me up. Even though I did quit before it seems just as hard. Sorry to waste your time watching me go through my deliriums but I'm working some good sweats and getting it out of my system.
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Hey, If quitting was easy, everyone would have done it.
You are definitely not wasting our time. We've been there and done that. Before I found OLGA I tried to quit for an entire year, if not longer.
With OLGA it was a bit easier because I had support and others here who had been through it.
The withdrawals are horrendous. Get lots of rest and sleep, you probably can't sleep a lot, but you will, get some exercise, go to meetings, get a sponsor or recovery buddy, work the steps.
The meetings are really nice, they helped me a lot during those early days.
It's such a mental thing for me... The withdrawal feelings come in waves... I "know" there is REALLY nothing there to return to, but that feeling of belonging was so strong, and the friendships created in "the Game" were so real. I HAVE TO MOVE PAST IT.
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Hey, If quitting was easy, everyone would have done it.
Another thing that I have noticed is that the amount of time it takes to really be "effective" in a game is enormous. I mean - you log in to "check something out" and then you get pulled in so many directions. I think it has scattered my everyday life quite a bit. What I mean is the game experience is fractured, and that carries over into the way I do things in my non game time. IF that makes any sense at all !! sorry, ROFL. I guess I proved my point.
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Hey, If quitting was easy, everyone would have done it.
Zoe, you are describing my gaming life. That last year of gaming I tried very hard to quit or moderate or play casual. I tried very hard.
I'd be in the middle of a movie and my cell would ring, text: "we need you to heal the raid". Off I'd go.
Or I'd check something in the game, just for a minute before work...3 hours later I'd have to call in sick.
Yes, my gaming life had become insanity...I couldn't even stop gaming when I wanted to, I couldn't make a real decision to quit and stay quit, I couldn't just play casual, and had no control over how long I played or if I logged in or not. No promises to myself or others ever became reality. The game came first.
Withdrawals were no joke with me. I had lots of withdrawals. Sleeplessness, restlessness, unable to focus, double vision (at times), extreme headaches, lethargy, jitters, flashbacks, dreams, anger, rage, fear, dis-ease, and nothing was joyful or happy.
I didn't know games were or could be addicting. I sure found out how addicting they were when I quit gaming, experiencing very real symptoms of withdrawal.
I don't want to go into specifics of "my game" or "your game" Seems like the major offenders here are the World of Warcraft and the Second Life. Pretty different I guess, but also, pretty darn addictive it appears.
I'm fearful for the youth today. They have total access and their parents feel that "it must be educational - its a computer game." Eek! I knew a 5th grader who's Mom preorderd the latest Batman game. He got it the day it came out and played SEVEN hours that night.
Houston - we have a problem!
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Hey, If quitting was easy, everyone would have done it.
I just wanted to say hi, and I wish I had found this site sooner. I got so lost in th OLG world with Evony. I was playing it for about 2 years and trying to quit for more than a year of that time. I managed to climb out of it with many virtual falls along the way. I quit numerous times, changed servers/ accts and versions of the game.
I could see what I was missing out on... like an observer sitting and watching my life pass me by and I wanted to get back into it ... step out of the virtual reality and go back to real life. I just couldnt seem to do it. In the end I found a way that worked for me, I changed to less addictive games on fb that wouldnt let me play for long periods and gradually the compulsions lessened.
I focused on how good it felt when i wasnt playing... evony was very stressful and controlling, I liked the feeling of freedom I had away from it. I tired of the fb games also and found they were easier to quit, I gradually replaced them with healthier alternative that also gave me pleasure... time with friends/ family, reading and watching movies for relaxation.
I still have urges... if i feel the need to play something i go for very safe and offline games on my ph like tetris or word games. But late last night I felt the evony compulsion/ curiosity and googled evony. This site came up in the search and i came here instead. ty
Relapse is a big concern. I have been able to ignore games for long periods of time. Then I will see one that looks interesting, hear about a new game, or discover a new eidtion of an old favorite. Bang. That's it. And weeks or months can go by before I stop playing. Then I get tired and frustrated at myself for wasting my time. Quit the games. But then later the cycle repeats. I have lost years of my life. How do I stop a relapse? Maybe I need a sponsor.
Yep I am not going to relapse, I will not let myself, tho sometimes my mind wanders to those so called "friends" i left behind .... I will not relapse and will not go back to that game again or any other addictive game.....I went to my first meeting last night and it was awesome to share. So yes go to the meetings if you can, read more posts from others if you can, A sponser would help you, follow the twelve step program, and come here when you feel the urge to game and post. If you feel the need to talk to someone you can private message me and I will write you back...Your doing the right thing to get your life back......Welcome to OLGA :)
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Second Life escapee as of Oct 26, 2012 (feel free to Private Message me, I will always return a response) ~Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment~. Buddha http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kXr8-D8rJ6c&feature=fvwrel Abandon-HOLD ON!
meetings are so important. It's good to hear, week after week, about the addictive cycle and it stays fresh in your mind. Reminding me that I am a gaming junkie :) I hate that I am a game addict! I finally have come to peace about my alcoholism, but now gaming?? I would much rather play in the world of Azeroth than drink my life away. But unfortunatly wow has become my new drug and it is hard to accept that. I guess there is something about creating a female character that can defend herself and defeat the bad guy. She is not afraid. And then if she dies, she can resurrect!! She is not vulnerable. She is the me I wish I could be. I can take her anywhere and explore the beautiful landscape in the game, farm for herbs, sell items on the AH and make some gold that I could never achieve in real life. The real me is agoraphobic, social phobic, panic ridden, depressed and can't keep a job. If it weren't for my family who loves me, I don't know where I would be. To be honest the real world is beautiful, but I hate it. I love music, nature, sunsets, stargazing, gardening and animals. I love my children. But I hate living in this scary unpredictable world. In my fear wrought mind. This is where giving it to my higher power comes in. Rather than logging in to a fantasy world that is easier to control.
Your post reminds me of this Carlos Castaneda quote - "The aim is to balance the terror of being alive with the wonder of being alive." Together we can calm the terror, shift the scales and share the wonder. Come to meetings, Spirit!
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Acceptance. When I am disturbed, it is because a person, place, thing, or situation is unacceptable to me. I find no serenity until I accept my life as being exactly the way it is meant to be. Nothing happens in God’s world by mistake. Acknowledge the problem, but live the solution!
I totally get it, spirit. I hate telling my kids I can't play games with them. I hate acknowledging that 'daddy has a problem with games.' I hate not being able to 'recreate' like a normal person.
But there are parts of gaming that I can work to import into my life. The building, the attention to detail, the perseverence and dedication to a goal. Those are things I need now. Yes, real life is messier, uglier, and harder. But its the only place that really matters. There's no part of gaming that will help me today.
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Twelve miles into the forest, 12 miles out.
Left my poisonous game July 4, 2012. Left online communities June 4, 2013.
@gettingalife what a great quote! I have never heard that one and it really sums it up. It goes straight to my heart actually. If I can arrange to come to the meetings I know it will help in the long run. I currently attend celebrate recovery once a week, but another meeting could be even more encouraging..
@exazzy thank you for your honesty. I so much appreciate someone like you talking about these very real struggles that I can relate to. I may even need to stay away from my computer for a week at a time just to start a new habit. Even checking my email triggers the thoughts of starting my account up again. Thank you for your courage to see the truth about gaming and real life. I need to hear these things.
Welcome to OLGA! You are certainly among your people here--people who understand what you have gone through. All of us have shared various parts of your story. We get it.
Your rigorous honesty in your post is the right starting point. You didn't hold back, didn't continue to deny parts of your problem. You laid it all out. That's a great start. Kudos.
So you are quitting starting now. Here are some ways you can use the OLGA site to help yourself, if you choose to:
1. We have open chat meetings every night at 9p.m. Eastern US time. I find them to be very supportive, very positive, very helpful. I hope to see you there.
2. As you have discovered, these forums have many stories of people who have been through the kinds of things you have been through. There are many ideas for recovery here--more than anyone could use. Take what you can use; there's plenty. :)
3. People who have just quit often use OLGA as an online place to go instead of gaming. When I quit I was here many times a day, for hours at a time. I don't do it as much now, because I have a few other things in my life, but I'm still here a lot and it helps me. It helps when I read, but it also helps me to post.
4. There is a list of withdrawal symptoms off of the home page. It's a good idea to take a look. Because you were partly self-medicating your ADD with games, you will probably find it very unpleasant for the next few days at least. Almost all of the unpleasantness is withdrawal. That means it will get better soon. Hang in there. Those symptoms will recede.
5. When you come to the meetings, you will meet some other people. You can find someone else who is also quitting and be "recovery buddies." You can call each other from time to time and encourage each other. Addiction is tough, and we all need help to overcome it.
There are lots of other things you can do, but you'll read about them as you go. I hope you are able to use the resources here at OLGA to help yourself. Best wishes, Super. See you at the meeting....
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I am a recovering computer game and gambling addict. My recovery birthday: On May 6, 2012 I quit games and began working a program of recovery through OLGA No computer games or slot games for me since December 12, 2012. No solitaire games with real cards since June 2013.
Our mission here is to help and be supportive of those desiring to break free of excesssive online gaming. You are in the right place to meet and excel with your dreams and goals. Please, join us for chat nightly at 9 pm Eastern US, and don't be a stranger to posting. We have all been where you are now, with some exception. I count it as a Blessing that you found us, joined us, and posted here. Now please don't quit! Read posts from others and please join us in supporting and encouraging others who are fighting the battle of this disease: Addiction to online gaming.
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"There is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative." --W. Clement Stone
Welcome, SuperJ. Yes, we get it, we know how hard this can be. Glad you found us.
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Acceptance. When I am disturbed, it is because a person, place, thing, or situation is unacceptable to me. I find no serenity until I accept my life as being exactly the way it is meant to be. Nothing happens in God’s world by mistake. Acknowledge the problem, but live the solution!
Welcome, SuperJ. Yes, we get it, we know how hard this can be. Glad you found us.
I see a few people saying "we get it". I'm sorry if I made my post too long or I made it seem like I'm the only one who knows this. I just needed to get this off my chest. I appriciate the support.
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Haven't played a game since January 15th, 2013 @ 7:04 PM
"Don't give your life up to nothing, when its so easy to put it towards something!" - Me.
No, no. Your post was beautifully written and thorough. My apologies that my tone can come across so flat at times. I very sincerely want you to know that you've come to the right place, that we do understand. hugs! See you at the meeting.
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Acceptance. When I am disturbed, it is because a person, place, thing, or situation is unacceptable to me. I find no serenity until I accept my life as being exactly the way it is meant to be. Nothing happens in God’s world by mistake. Acknowledge the problem, but live the solution!
No, no. Your post was beautifully written and thorough. My apologies that my tone can come across so flat at times. I very sincerely want you to know that you've come to the right place, that we do understand. hugs! See you at the meeting.
Thanks. Ill try to see when the meeting is. I want to come.
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Haven't played a game since January 15th, 2013 @ 7:04 PM
"Don't give your life up to nothing, when its so easy to put it towards something!" - Me.
It's at 9 EST. Here's a link to the chat room area
http://www.olganon.org/?q=node/12026
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Acceptance. When I am disturbed, it is because a person, place, thing, or situation is unacceptable to me. I find no serenity until I accept my life as being exactly the way it is meant to be. Nothing happens in God’s world by mistake. Acknowledge the problem, but live the solution!
Having tried it - reentry into the game WILL NOT PAY OFF. You think you can just venture into it and then get out.... N O P E. Anyone that tries to tell me different is not thinking straight.
take care out there.... and that one day at time business - YEP, that is the way it works.
GrowingUp
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Hey, If quitting was easy, everyone would have done it.
Having tried it - reentry into the game WILL NOT PAY OFF. You think you can just venture into it and then get out.... N O P E. Anyone that tries to tell me different is not thinking straight.
100% agree. I tried, but have failed. I have tried to moderate my time, monitor my usage, have family remind me, and none of it worked. I had to completely remove everything game related from my computer, phone, and tablet. It all HAD to go!
thank god for this website, have been browsing around the website for a couple of years, came to a couple of online meetings, read a lot of the articles even gave up gaming a couple of times sold all my gear, always ended up getting it back, been playing on onlive, cloud gaming for a month and in that month i have played for 350+ hours plus no joke played one game for 240+ hours, a bit about me have a wife and 2 boys and i feel so depressed and guilty that im pushing them to the side so i can game am unemployed and so is my wife so money is tight, need advice on what to do not to game and to respect myself and my family, could write so much more but too down.
Big hugs. The stresses of life are so big and sometimes so painful, that we find our escape in games. And then can't stop.
To quit you must 1) decide that gaming is ruining your life and that you need to quit and 2) get help. You have done #1 and have asked for help. Here are some ways that I and others have used OLGA to help us quit and stay quit.
1. We come to the meetings. I came almost every night for 3 months after I quit. I said to myself "I won't game before the meeting and I'll go to the meeting." And I did.
2. I read and posted on the forums. I used OLGA as a replacement for games and was here many times a day. In the long run, not healthy to do *anything* in that kind of obsessive way, but in the short run it got me off games. I also watched a lot of TV. Kill the big dog first--anything (legal) to not game today. Later I quit TV.
3. I developed friendships with other people who are recovering. I interact with them on the website, by SKYPE, by phone. We support and encourage each other.
4. I got a sponsor; when I needed to I got another one, then another. Having a sponsor to help me work the 12 steps is an important part of my recovery.
5. I do other things. I got my underlying mental illness (bipolar disorder) medicated, and I have therapy (actually it was my therapist who sent me to OLGA--she's very smart).
6. Taking my meds, vitamins, eating well, sleeping enough--these all help me stay healthy. When I mess them up, I get messed up.
7. I've read some in the AA and NA literature. I've listened to AA/NA audiotapes and audio and videotapes about addiction on You Tube. I've read books. Trying to understand myself. Trying to understand what works.
Addiction is hard to overcome. It's not surprising you are stuck--please keep seeking help. Help helps.
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I am a recovering computer game and gambling addict. My recovery birthday: On May 6, 2012 I quit games and began working a program of recovery through OLGA No computer games or slot games for me since December 12, 2012. No solitaire games with real cards since June 2013.
I need some help, some advice and some guidance. The quality of my life has increased 10 fold and i am really starting to succeed and exceed my expectations in the classroom and on the baseball field.
Im proud to say i have a resounding 4.0 right now, and my previous cumulative gpa was an abysmal 2.01. at one point i failed out and lost my scholarship. But things are now on the track to success. and ive replaced my gaming with golf and marksmanship competitions to go along with baseball. ive sold all of my gaming gear and equipment. Yet there isnt a day that goes by that it doesnt sneak into my mind.
my biggest most challenging issue is that many console gamers know that its coming up on 4th quarter, all the big titles are coming out and my heart races, time dilates and i get the urge to game. to re-immerse myself in the game world. especially with the release of GTA 5. its all my friends talk about and its all i can think about... i dont want to relapse and i strive to keep my self distanced but its hard. its been almost 2 months sober but the ever alluring world of games grows ever more intricate and absorbing, its gravitational pull sucks me in. its like im on the edge of a whirlpool and i can feel it tugging at me to come join. but i know if i take that step all my hard work is for nothing and it will suck me in and hold me down.
just struggling with severe withdrawal right now and im needing some help.
I understand your pain. I keep trying to justify and reason with myself as to why I could control going back online gaming. Some people can casually game--I am not one of those people. I have quit and gone back several times and I always start out with good intentions and once I get sucked back in my gaming addiction is fed but the quality of my life as a person goes down. You have a 4.0, that is wonderful--you didnt get that gaming. I almost lost the ability to get my masters degree finished and that was a huge reality check for me. I hit /time played and it came up with over 7 months of play time. I was wondering what wonderful memories I could have had of doing things in my life instead of sitting for 7months in front of a computer mindlessly playing a game so I could avoid my overwhelmed feelings . Dont go back Djinn, the game will always be filled with 4th quarter type events and things to suck you back in to the craziness. You are doing great dont give that up for a game that will always leave you unfulfilled and wanting.The game is an elaborate deception--dont give into it. I am struggling also, my fingers are itchy for the gaming mouse. Lets be strong.
More than anything i needed that. The honest reality check from one gamer to another is sobering and helped me keep in line. I came the closest to relapse i have yet these past 2 days and it wasnt for any reason in particular. I made it through with the help of my other hobbies taking its place. And what you said in the end couldnt have hit home more for me and re-kindled the fire that had lost its fuel.
That emptyness where nothing was accomplished yet you want to go back. the escape from the real world to become something more that you thought you could be, when its robbing you of your life, robbing you of your job, your experiences, your family. And finally your dreams. its something that we put so much time into only to get away from our problems it doesnt help us in anyway it only makes things worse.
i picked up shooting and passed my pistol and AR marksmanship test today as well. things to just keep me going, ACTUAL accomplishments, acheivements if you will, that compile into something that is worth something.
yay!!! So happy you fought hard for YOUR life and not the life of an avatar. I cant wait until I can say I am 2 months free of gaming. You are doing great! Remember, everyone here totally gets it when it comes to withdrawals and the need for support and encouragement. We are here for you. Let's continue to focus on a game free life. :-)
Blargh. I relapsed. It wasn't really bad, my wife doesn't know and it hasn't directly affected anything, but man I feel sh!tty. Like I let myself down.
wish I had read this sticky sooner. I thought I could moderate, but the excessive playing has been making me feel really detached and foggy headed. Now I know I have to just abstain.
Patria and friends,
Darn if it isn't hard to quit. Here I am on day 4 and its really eating me up. Even though I did quit before it seems just as hard. Sorry to waste your time watching me go through my deliriums but I'm working some good sweats and getting it out of my system.
Hey, If quitting was easy, everyone would have done it.
You are definitely not wasting our time. We've been there and done that. Before I found OLGA I tried to quit for an entire year, if not longer.
With OLGA it was a bit easier because I had support and others here who had been through it.
The withdrawals are horrendous. Get lots of rest and sleep, you probably can't sleep a lot, but you will, get some exercise, go to meetings, get a sponsor or recovery buddy, work the steps.
The meetings are really nice, they helped me a lot during those early days.
Not wasting our time at all. It's wonderful to see another person climbing out of this trap. Good for you.
"She generally gave herself very good advice, (though she very seldom followed it)." --Lewis Carroll
It's such a mental thing for me... The withdrawal feelings come in waves... I "know" there is REALLY nothing there to return to, but that feeling of belonging was so strong, and the friendships created in "the Game" were so real. I HAVE TO MOVE PAST IT.
Hey, If quitting was easy, everyone would have done it.
Another thing that I have noticed is that the amount of time it takes to really be "effective" in a game is enormous. I mean - you log in to "check something out" and then you get pulled in so many directions. I think it has scattered my everyday life quite a bit. What I mean is the game experience is fractured, and that carries over into the way I do things in my non game time. IF that makes any sense at all !! sorry, ROFL. I guess I proved my point.
Hey, If quitting was easy, everyone would have done it.
Zoe, you are describing my gaming life. That last year of gaming I tried very hard to quit or moderate or play casual. I tried very hard.
I'd be in the middle of a movie and my cell would ring, text: "we need you to heal the raid". Off I'd go.
Or I'd check something in the game, just for a minute before work...3 hours later I'd have to call in sick.
Yes, my gaming life had become insanity...I couldn't even stop gaming when I wanted to, I couldn't make a real decision to quit and stay quit, I couldn't just play casual, and had no control over how long I played or if I logged in or not. No promises to myself or others ever became reality. The game came first.
Withdrawals were no joke with me. I had lots of withdrawals. Sleeplessness, restlessness, unable to focus, double vision (at times), extreme headaches, lethargy, jitters, flashbacks, dreams, anger, rage, fear, dis-ease, and nothing was joyful or happy.
I didn't know games were or could be addicting. I sure found out how addicting they were when I quit gaming, experiencing very real symptoms of withdrawal.
Meetings help. Try to come to the chat meetings.
Patria,
I don't want to go into specifics of "my game" or "your game" Seems like the major offenders here are the World of Warcraft and the Second Life. Pretty different I guess, but also, pretty darn addictive it appears.
I'm fearful for the youth today. They have total access and their parents feel that "it must be educational - its a computer game." Eek! I knew a 5th grader who's Mom preorderd the latest Batman game. He got it the day it came out and played SEVEN hours that night.
Houston - we have a problem!
Hey, If quitting was easy, everyone would have done it.
I just wanted to say hi, and I wish I had found this site sooner. I got so lost in th OLG world with Evony. I was playing it for about 2 years and trying to quit for more than a year of that time. I managed to climb out of it with many virtual falls along the way. I quit numerous times, changed servers/ accts and versions of the game.
I could see what I was missing out on... like an observer sitting and watching my life pass me by and I wanted to get back into it ... step out of the virtual reality and go back to real life. I just couldnt seem to do it. In the end I found a way that worked for me, I changed to less addictive games on fb that wouldnt let me play for long periods and gradually the compulsions lessened.
I focused on how good it felt when i wasnt playing... evony was very stressful and controlling, I liked the feeling of freedom I had away from it. I tired of the fb games also and found they were easier to quit, I gradually replaced them with healthier alternative that also gave me pleasure... time with friends/ family, reading and watching movies for relaxation.
I still have urges... if i feel the need to play something i go for very safe and offline games on my ph like tetris or word games. But late last night I felt the evony compulsion/ curiosity and googled evony. This site came up in the search and i came here instead. ty
Hrmm, higher power at work there?
Twelve miles into the forest, 12 miles out.
Left my poisonous game July 4, 2012. Left online communities June 4, 2013.
yes exazzy def :)
Relapse is a big concern. I have been able to ignore games for long periods of time. Then I will see one that looks interesting, hear about a new game, or discover a new eidtion of an old favorite. Bang. That's it. And weeks or months can go by before I stop playing. Then I get tired and frustrated at myself for wasting my time. Quit the games. But then later the cycle repeats. I have lost years of my life. How do I stop a relapse? Maybe I need a sponsor.
Free from gaming since Oct 24, 2012
Sponsor is great.
In the meantime, come to chat meetings at night, get to know other recovering people and see what we do not to game today.
Just don't game today.
HI TimC,
Yep I am not going to relapse, I will not let myself, tho sometimes my mind wanders to those so called "friends" i left behind .... I will not relapse and will not go back to that game again or any other addictive game.....I went to my first meeting last night and it was awesome to share. So yes go to the meetings if you can, read more posts from others if you can, A sponser would help you, follow the twelve step program, and come here when you feel the urge to game and post. If you feel the need to talk to someone you can private message me and I will write you back...Your doing the right thing to get your life back......Welcome to OLGA :)
Second Life escapee as of Oct 26, 2012 (feel free to Private Message me, I will always return a response) ~Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment~. Buddha http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kXr8-D8rJ6c&feature=fvwrel Abandon-HOLD ON!
meetings are so important. It's good to hear, week after week, about the addictive cycle and it stays fresh in your mind. Reminding me that I am a gaming junkie :) I hate that I am a game addict! I finally have come to peace about my alcoholism, but now gaming?? I would much rather play in the world of Azeroth than drink my life away. But unfortunatly wow has become my new drug and it is hard to accept that. I guess there is something about creating a female character that can defend herself and defeat the bad guy. She is not afraid. And then if she dies, she can resurrect!! She is not vulnerable. She is the me I wish I could be. I can take her anywhere and explore the beautiful landscape in the game, farm for herbs, sell items on the AH and make some gold that I could never achieve in real life. The real me is agoraphobic, social phobic, panic ridden, depressed and can't keep a job. If it weren't for my family who loves me, I don't know where I would be. To be honest the real world is beautiful, but I hate it. I love music, nature, sunsets, stargazing, gardening and animals. I love my children. But I hate living in this scary unpredictable world. In my fear wrought mind. This is where giving it to my higher power comes in. Rather than logging in to a fantasy world that is easier to control.
Your post reminds me of this Carlos Castaneda quote - "The aim is to balance the terror of being alive with the wonder of being alive." Together we can calm the terror, shift the scales and share the wonder. Come to meetings, Spirit!
Acceptance. When I am disturbed, it is because a person, place, thing, or situation is unacceptable to me. I find no serenity until I accept my life as being exactly the way it is meant to be. Nothing happens in God’s world by mistake. Acknowledge the problem, but live the solution!
I totally get it, spirit. I hate telling my kids I can't play games with them. I hate acknowledging that 'daddy has a problem with games.' I hate not being able to 'recreate' like a normal person.
But there are parts of gaming that I can work to import into my life. The building, the attention to detail, the perseverence and dedication to a goal. Those are things I need now. Yes, real life is messier, uglier, and harder. But its the only place that really matters. There's no part of gaming that will help me today.
Twelve miles into the forest, 12 miles out.
Left my poisonous game July 4, 2012. Left online communities June 4, 2013.
@gettingalife what a great quote! I have never heard that one and it really sums it up. It goes straight to my heart actually. If I can arrange to come to the meetings I know it will help in the long run. I currently attend celebrate recovery once a week, but another meeting could be even more encouraging..
@exazzy thank you for your honesty. I so much appreciate someone like you talking about these very real struggles that I can relate to. I may even need to stay away from my computer for a week at a time just to start a new habit. Even checking my email triggers the thoughts of starting my account up again. Thank you for your courage to see the truth about gaming and real life. I need to hear these things.
You can find the post I wrote here in my own topic here: http://www.olganon.org/?q=node/35793
Haven't played a game since January 15th, 2013 @ 7:04 PM
"Don't give your life up to nothing, when its so easy to put it towards something!" - Me.
SuperJ,
Welcome to OLGA! You are certainly among your people here--people who understand what you have gone through. All of us have shared various parts of your story. We get it.
Your rigorous honesty in your post is the right starting point. You didn't hold back, didn't continue to deny parts of your problem. You laid it all out. That's a great start. Kudos.
So you are quitting starting now. Here are some ways you can use the OLGA site to help yourself, if you choose to:
1. We have open chat meetings every night at 9p.m. Eastern US time. I find them to be very supportive, very positive, very helpful. I hope to see you there.
2. As you have discovered, these forums have many stories of people who have been through the kinds of things you have been through. There are many ideas for recovery here--more than anyone could use. Take what you can use; there's plenty. :)
3. People who have just quit often use OLGA as an online place to go instead of gaming. When I quit I was here many times a day, for hours at a time. I don't do it as much now, because I have a few other things in my life, but I'm still here a lot and it helps me. It helps when I read, but it also helps me to post.
4. There is a list of withdrawal symptoms off of the home page. It's a good idea to take a look. Because you were partly self-medicating your ADD with games, you will probably find it very unpleasant for the next few days at least. Almost all of the unpleasantness is withdrawal. That means it will get better soon. Hang in there. Those symptoms will recede.
5. When you come to the meetings, you will meet some other people. You can find someone else who is also quitting and be "recovery buddies." You can call each other from time to time and encourage each other. Addiction is tough, and we all need help to overcome it.
There are lots of other things you can do, but you'll read about them as you go. I hope you are able to use the resources here at OLGA to help yourself. Best wishes, Super. See you at the meeting....
I am a recovering computer game and gambling addict. My recovery birthday: On May 6, 2012 I quit games and began working a program of recovery through OLGA No computer games or slot games for me since December 12, 2012. No solitaire games with real cards since June 2013.
Welcome James!
Our mission here is to help and be supportive of those desiring to break free of excesssive online gaming. You are in the right place to meet and excel with your dreams and goals. Please, join us for chat nightly at 9 pm Eastern US, and don't be a stranger to posting. We have all been where you are now, with some exception. I count it as a Blessing that you found us, joined us, and posted here. Now please don't quit! Read posts from others and please join us in supporting and encouraging others who are fighting the battle of this disease: Addiction to online gaming.
"There is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative." --W. Clement Stone
Welcome, SuperJ. Yes, we get it, we know how hard this can be. Glad you found us.
Acceptance. When I am disturbed, it is because a person, place, thing, or situation is unacceptable to me. I find no serenity until I accept my life as being exactly the way it is meant to be. Nothing happens in God’s world by mistake. Acknowledge the problem, but live the solution!
I see a few people saying "we get it". I'm sorry if I made my post too long or I made it seem like I'm the only one who knows this. I just needed to get this off my chest. I appriciate the support.
Haven't played a game since January 15th, 2013 @ 7:04 PM
"Don't give your life up to nothing, when its so easy to put it towards something!" - Me.
No, no. Your post was beautifully written and thorough. My apologies that my tone can come across so flat at times. I very sincerely want you to know that you've come to the right place, that we do understand. hugs! See you at the meeting.
Acceptance. When I am disturbed, it is because a person, place, thing, or situation is unacceptable to me. I find no serenity until I accept my life as being exactly the way it is meant to be. Nothing happens in God’s world by mistake. Acknowledge the problem, but live the solution!
Thanks. Ill try to see when the meeting is. I want to come.
Haven't played a game since January 15th, 2013 @ 7:04 PM
"Don't give your life up to nothing, when its so easy to put it towards something!" - Me.
It's at 9 EST. Here's a link to the chat room area
http://www.olganon.org/?q=node/12026
Acceptance. When I am disturbed, it is because a person, place, thing, or situation is unacceptable to me. I find no serenity until I accept my life as being exactly the way it is meant to be. Nothing happens in God’s world by mistake. Acknowledge the problem, but live the solution!
Thanks for the link. I will be there.
Haven't played a game since January 15th, 2013 @ 7:04 PM
"Don't give your life up to nothing, when its so easy to put it towards something!" - Me.
Having tried it - reentry into the game WILL NOT PAY OFF. You think you can just venture into it and then get out.... N O P E. Anyone that tries to tell me different is not thinking straight.
take care out there.... and that one day at time business - YEP, that is the way it works.
GrowingUp
Hey, If quitting was easy, everyone would have done it.
100% agree. I tried, but have failed. I have tried to moderate my time, monitor my usage, have family remind me, and none of it worked. I had to completely remove everything game related from my computer, phone, and tablet. It all HAD to go!
thank god for this website, have been browsing around the website for a couple of years, came to a couple of online meetings, read a lot of the articles even gave up gaming a couple of times sold all my gear, always ended up getting it back, been playing on onlive, cloud gaming for a month and in that month i have played for 350+ hours plus no joke played one game for 240+ hours, a bit about me have a wife and 2 boys and i feel so depressed and guilty that im pushing them to the side so i can game am unemployed and so is my wife so money is tight, need advice on what to do not to game and to respect myself and my family, could write so much more but too down.
neopjw,
Big hugs. The stresses of life are so big and sometimes so painful, that we find our escape in games. And then can't stop.
To quit you must 1) decide that gaming is ruining your life and that you need to quit and 2) get help. You have done #1 and have asked for help. Here are some ways that I and others have used OLGA to help us quit and stay quit.
1. We come to the meetings. I came almost every night for 3 months after I quit. I said to myself "I won't game before the meeting and I'll go to the meeting." And I did.
2. I read and posted on the forums. I used OLGA as a replacement for games and was here many times a day. In the long run, not healthy to do *anything* in that kind of obsessive way, but in the short run it got me off games. I also watched a lot of TV. Kill the big dog first--anything (legal) to not game today. Later I quit TV.
3. I developed friendships with other people who are recovering. I interact with them on the website, by SKYPE, by phone. We support and encourage each other.
4. I got a sponsor; when I needed to I got another one, then another. Having a sponsor to help me work the 12 steps is an important part of my recovery.
5. I do other things. I got my underlying mental illness (bipolar disorder) medicated, and I have therapy (actually it was my therapist who sent me to OLGA--she's very smart).
6. Taking my meds, vitamins, eating well, sleeping enough--these all help me stay healthy. When I mess them up, I get messed up.
7. I've read some in the AA and NA literature. I've listened to AA/NA audiotapes and audio and videotapes about addiction on You Tube. I've read books. Trying to understand myself. Trying to understand what works.
Addiction is hard to overcome. It's not surprising you are stuck--please keep seeking help. Help helps.
I am a recovering computer game and gambling addict. My recovery birthday: On May 6, 2012 I quit games and began working a program of recovery through OLGA No computer games or slot games for me since December 12, 2012. No solitaire games with real cards since June 2013.
thanks for the info. I certainly need help to try and quit this time around!
I need some help, some advice and some guidance. The quality of my life has increased 10 fold and i am really starting to succeed and exceed my expectations in the classroom and on the baseball field.
Im proud to say i have a resounding 4.0 right now, and my previous cumulative gpa was an abysmal 2.01. at one point i failed out and lost my scholarship. But things are now on the track to success. and ive replaced my gaming with golf and marksmanship competitions to go along with baseball. ive sold all of my gaming gear and equipment. Yet there isnt a day that goes by that it doesnt sneak into my mind.
my biggest most challenging issue is that many console gamers know that its coming up on 4th quarter, all the big titles are coming out and my heart races, time dilates and i get the urge to game. to re-immerse myself in the game world. especially with the release of GTA 5. its all my friends talk about and its all i can think about... i dont want to relapse and i strive to keep my self distanced but its hard. its been almost 2 months sober but the ever alluring world of games grows ever more intricate and absorbing, its gravitational pull sucks me in. its like im on the edge of a whirlpool and i can feel it tugging at me to come join. but i know if i take that step all my hard work is for nothing and it will suck me in and hold me down.
just struggling with severe withdrawal right now and im needing some help.
thanks
I understand your pain. I keep trying to justify and reason with myself as to why I could control going back online gaming. Some people can casually game--I am not one of those people. I have quit and gone back several times and I always start out with good intentions and once I get sucked back in my gaming addiction is fed but the quality of my life as a person goes down. You have a 4.0, that is wonderful--you didnt get that gaming. I almost lost the ability to get my masters degree finished and that was a huge reality check for me. I hit /time played and it came up with over 7 months of play time. I was wondering what wonderful memories I could have had of doing things in my life instead of sitting for 7months in front of a computer mindlessly playing a game so I could avoid my overwhelmed feelings . Dont go back Djinn, the game will always be filled with 4th quarter type events and things to suck you back in to the craziness. You are doing great dont give that up for a game that will always leave you unfulfilled and wanting.The game is an elaborate deception--dont give into it. I am struggling also, my fingers are itchy for the gaming mouse. Lets be strong.
Thank you.
More than anything i needed that. The honest reality check from one gamer to another is sobering and helped me keep in line. I came the closest to relapse i have yet these past 2 days and it wasnt for any reason in particular. I made it through with the help of my other hobbies taking its place. And what you said in the end couldnt have hit home more for me and re-kindled the fire that had lost its fuel.
That emptyness where nothing was accomplished yet you want to go back. the escape from the real world to become something more that you thought you could be, when its robbing you of your life, robbing you of your job, your experiences, your family. And finally your dreams. its something that we put so much time into only to get away from our problems it doesnt help us in anyway it only makes things worse.
i picked up shooting and passed my pistol and AR marksmanship test today as well. things to just keep me going, ACTUAL accomplishments, acheivements if you will, that compile into something that is worth something.
Together we can win.
yay!!! So happy you fought hard for YOUR life and not the life of an avatar. I cant wait until I can say I am 2 months free of gaming. You are doing great! Remember, everyone here totally gets it when it comes to withdrawals and the need for support and encouragement. We are here for you. Let's continue to focus on a game free life. :-)
Deep and poetic. Thanks for sharing.
Blargh. I relapsed. It wasn't really bad, my wife doesn't know and it hasn't directly affected anything, but man I feel sh!tty. Like I let myself down.
wish I had read this sticky sooner. I thought I could moderate, but the excessive playing has been making me feel really detached and foggy headed. Now I know I have to just abstain.
Last game played: 7/28/14