Daily Count Up and Accountability

1555 posts / 0 new
Last post
McPhee
Offline
Last seen: 6 years 10 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 04/29/2010 - 9:43am
Checking in

It took an amazing amount of effort to navigate the log in procedure. I can authenticate my identiy well enough to buy and sell many thousands of dollars worth of stocks with far less security. Interesting One wonders whether this is really what is required to reduce spam. Otherwise, all is pretty well. No plans to game.

McPhee
Offline
Last seen: 6 years 10 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 04/29/2010 - 9:43am
Holding on

I am pretty good today. Somewhat stressed because of getting behind on some projects. In times past I might have succumbed to the lure of gaming in order to escape this stress. Today, I plan to try to make some progress on those projects. That should be pretty good at relieving stress and is much preferable to pretending there is no problem, which just makes things worse. In short, no plans to game. Gaming just screws everything up. I don't want that.

Silvertabby
Silvertabby's picture
Offline
Last seen: 1 year 8 months ago
OLGA memberOLGA moderator
Joined: 11/23/2010 - 4:42pm
8 weeks game free

I had the same problem with the log in, McPhee.  It wouldn't accept my choices.  I'm pretty sure something is wrong with it and I hope someone will fix it.  I almost gave up trying to log on.

I was having some pretty strong cravings to go back to gaming there for awhile, but they seem to have gone away in the last few days.  But then I've been pretty busy and doing some fun things, but hopefully they will stay away.  One thing that helped me to not relapse was thinking of having to start my count-up over once again.  

 

Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending. ~Maria Robinson

sidsel
Offline
Last seen: 9 years 1 month ago
OLGA member
Joined: 06/04/2015 - 3:26am
4 days? 5 days?

I've lost count. It doesn't matter. I'm free. I have no cravings today. Thanks to your recommendation I learnt about accepting failure and possible failure. I took half a year of arabic some 15 years ago, and in the intervening years the inner voice kept saying "Oh, you'll never move anywhere you'll need it. You'll never get a job where you need it. You'll probably never even visit anywhere you'll need it." Then my relapse 'failure' (Oh, how my perfectionism hated that!), your very poignant post about doing stuff anyway, and a meditation where the other Voice said "If you want to know Wisdom, you have to know Folly".

So I picked up my old linguaphone books and just started. And I'm having FUN. Maybe I'll shift focus onto some other language, maybe not (I know a little bit of French which would be useful to expand on, I have spiritual pursuits which might benefit from maybe latin or greek or hebrew, my parents have a house in Italy, my son is learning Spanish in school, - the possibilities are endless). In the meantime I'm not gaming, my brain is being used and trained in a fruitful way, and - yes, I'm having genuine FUN just relearning all I forgot in 15 years.

Off to 5 days in denmark - not even bringing my laptop. I can check FB on the phone if I want to catch up with people.

Today I went for a walk and took a photo of a shy, wild raven. A little bit of Grace from a Higher Power.

McPhee
Offline
Last seen: 6 years 10 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 04/29/2010 - 9:43am
That's it!

Silvertabby, I know what you mean about not wanting to start the count-up over again. It seems like a small thing, but the urge to hang onto that number is a real one. There is a concept called gamification that is employed in doing things like improving people's engagement at work, encouraging them to save money, etc. It involves lots of things like awarding badges and levels and so on, just like games do. The count-up is, I think, an element of gamification we can, paradoxically, use to help free ourselves from the compulsion to game excessively. So good work! Hang onto that count! Level up to the next plateau of game-free living!

Sidsel, learning Arabic seems like an incredible accomplishment. It seems likely to me that this would be a very marketable skil, in addition to being highly admirable. At the very least, it seems like a great vitally absorbing creative interest for you. And if it works, work it, until it stops working. That's my philosophy, at least. You seem like you're doing well. Congratz!

I am trying to moderate my annoyance with the login process here. It is a nuisance but, in the overall scheme of things, a mild nuisance. I can deal with it, although I do hope it will be remedied soon, for others' sake as well as my own. It seems a shame to make accessing help more difficult than it needs to be, and I am surprised that this level of security is considered appropriate.

I think Monday made it 16 weeks since I last gamed. That's a nice roundish number, and shows I've gotten into the triple digits in terms of days. It feels good. I don't want to go back to gaming and have no plans to start today. Thanks for your help with that.

McPhee
Offline
Last seen: 6 years 10 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 04/29/2010 - 9:43am
Onward

I have a busy day today, engaging in all sorts of productive and interesting activities that would be impossible if I spent the day camped on the computer clicking and typing my way through a game I have played a thousand times already. That is such a strange and pointless way to spend your life. It could be worse, of course, but it can also be a lot better. I'm very glad to be living that better life now and hope others are doing well in their efforts to stay away from excessive gaming. I have no plans to game today.

Sven
Sven's picture
Offline
Last seen: 2 years 1 month ago
OLGA member
Joined: 09/16/2012 - 11:10am
Well, its been more than two

Well, its been more than two months now since I last played a game. I was suprised that my account deletion request letter to Blizzard got returned last week, saying it couldn't be delivered, need to double check the address.
Anyway, urges come and go. 
I think the main reason why my abstinence in the past didn't last was that I guess I expected my life to change over night as a result of quitting games, but obviously this has been a wrong assumption from the get go. The truth is to really change the way I feel about my life I need to start leaving my comfort zone. Quitting games may be a first step, but I will never quit my job and work freelance without leaving my comfort zone. I will never have a family unless I challenge my social anxiety, and will never travel the world without learning to cope with my fear of flying. 
Anyway, no games today.
Have a good evening.
 

Silvertabby
Silvertabby's picture
Offline
Last seen: 1 year 8 months ago
OLGA memberOLGA moderator
Joined: 11/23/2010 - 4:42pm
9 Weeks of no gaming

Sven, it sounds like you have many challenges to overcome.  Just know that you would probably never even try to overcome them if you hadn't quit gaming first.  So your first step is a giant one and if you can do that, you can get through the others, even if only by taking baby steps with them.

McPhee, I love how you remind yourself about how  spending your life at the computer "clicking and typing my way through a game" is so pointless and strange.  You are so right.  I think, if I would only remind myself of that every time I get desires to go back to that pointless past time, they would go away very quickly.

I still seem to waste a lot of time on the computer, but I guess it's not as bad as 12 hours a day.  I do still get other things done like gardenting, quilting, sewing, etc.  At least I have something to show for those things.

 

 

Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending. ~Maria Robinson

McPhee
Offline
Last seen: 6 years 10 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 04/29/2010 - 9:43am
Congratz!

Silvertabby, kudos for nine weeks of game-free living! I'm glad you are not spending your days in the virtual world and it sounds like you are too. It would be nice, of course, if we could spend an hour or two gaming and then go back to our real lives. But for some people, that's just not possible and we are like that. So what? We are alive, we suffer from a comparatively mild affliction (compared to many we could have, like, say, schizophrenia, or muscular sclerosis) but we can control that by simply abstaining from gaming. Could be worse. Let's enjoy the lives we have, and be grateful for the advantages we possess, instead of mourning a largely pointless activity. Good work!

Sven, first, great work avoiding games for two months! You are well on the way to building a great life, without the burden of excessive gaming. You're right that not gaming by itself is not enough to make life great. But it's a necessary first step. You can't have a great life when you're spending 16 hours a day playing a computer game. Without that, you can, but it's still up to you to build that life.

If you want to be a freelancer, I encourage you to take on some part-time freelance work on the side. I've been a freelancer full-time for 28 years and feel it's by far the best way to live and earn a living, at least for me. Early on, I also despaired of ever being able to freelance full-time but still pursued my part-time freelancing while working at a regular job. One day I realized that I was doing well enough as a part-time freelancer to make it full-time. So I cut the cord to regular employment and have never tied it again. I encourage you to come up with a reasonable plan that has a chance of working, and start taking the first steps to bring it to life. It is simply amazing what can happen if you do that.

I am okay. Financial pressures are mounting, but many other things are going well. I reached my target body weight goal, just played a gig at pretty prestigious musical venue and have some promising new writing clients. So, could be worse. No plans to make it worse by getting mixed up in any stupid games today.

Jamal
Jamal's picture
Offline
Last seen: 8 years 1 month ago
OLGA member
Joined: 04/29/2015 - 1:24am
Gratitude

30 days no gaming after my last relapse and I'm grateful for that. Since young as young as 5 years old, I always have multiple addiction. Depending on the intensity and severity of the addictions , I found out online gaming addiction is the most difficult to stop. Online gaming are worst then substances abuse, gambling, sexual aberrant addiction that I have gone thru. All of these addictions I managed to overcome but gaming........I just can't get it off my head.
I just learned about Attitudes Of Gratitude on my last support group meeting. I gotta practice that and start a gratitude journal.
I'm grateful that I didn't game today .

addiction isn't a disease
addiction is an adaptation
it's not you
it's the cage you live in
ALEXANDRA, BRUCE K

McPhee
Offline
Last seen: 6 years 10 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 04/29/2010 - 9:43am
Outstanding!

Jamal, congratz on the 30 days! I was just thinking about you yesterday and wondering how you were doing. I'm thrilled to hear you have kept games out of your life for 30 days, as well as getting the other complex maladaptive behaviors out of your life for longer periods. Well done!

I'm okay. I have been watching my son play his Xbox games a fair amount lately, but haven't experienced any major urges. Part of that is because his games are the twitch-and-trigger, first person shooter variety, while I was always into the strategic and puzzle solving variety. His have plenty of puzzles, however, so I get at least slightly interested in talking about them with him. But no urges to play myself. Long may it last.

I am making good progress on some fronts, while getting nowhere or losing ground on others. Basically, a typical period in a typical life, I'd say. No plans to make it all worse -- much worse -- by getting involved in any games. Thanks for your help with that.

McPhee
Offline
Last seen: 6 years 10 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 04/29/2010 - 9:43am
Doing ok

I am amazed at the login process for Olganon. I've never seen anything like it. Very strange. Otherwise, I'm doing all right. No plans to game today. I hope all are well.

sidsel
Offline
Last seen: 9 years 1 month ago
OLGA member
Joined: 06/04/2015 - 3:26am
2 weeks

since the relapse, a month otherwise. The occasional urge, but they are few and far between. I need to work on my general computer addiction now, I think. The "oh god, Facebook, entertain me NOW!" urge. Had a wonderful time on holiday - now we're home for a short week before travelling again. My son was upset that we didn't pay for wifi on the ferry - personally, I didn't worry at all. Being denied the opportunity to lose myself in games or surfing is actually so freeing.

I notice I'm napping almost every afternoon. Earlier I'd just lose myself in some mindless clicking when I was that tired - and getting neither rest nor use out of the time spent. At least 10-30 min with my eyes closed will recharge me with genuine energy.

McPhee
Offline
Last seen: 6 years 10 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 04/29/2010 - 9:43am
Good news!

Sidsel, I'm glad to hear you've gotten through two weeks without gaming. Every day that is not spent in a computer game is a good day, or at least a better day than it could have been. (That's assuming something bad unconnected to gaming doesn't happen. Life is not only about avoiding gaming.)

I am also a nap fan. When I start feeling irritable and dull in the afternoon, I often set a timer for 30 minutes and lie down. I usually get up after 20 or so minutes, including maybe 15 minutes of actual sleeping, feeling much refreshed. I am happy you seem to be doing well.

I am okay too. I would like to have more financial security, but I am just not as good at earning money as I could be. The challenge of working steadily for eight hours a day, five days a week for 40 years -- that's the challenge we set for ourselves here in America, land of the free -- is one I find difficult to achieve. I just don't care enough about money to devote myself to earning it to that extent. At the same time, I also dislike not having enough money to fulfill my modest (at least they seem modest to me) living requirements. It's a puzzle. At the very least, I'm not wasting time playing computer games. I had a quite productive and income-generating day at work yesterday. I'll try to have another today. And no plans to game.

McPhee
Offline
Last seen: 6 years 10 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 04/29/2010 - 9:43am
Keeping On

I am here, which is not as easy as it may seem, given the log in procedure for this website. And I'm not gaming, which is also not as easy as it may seem, given my past history. However, right now and for the past few months I am not having much trouble staying away from the games. I think posting here daily has a lot to do with that. So I am here, once again affirming: No plans to game today. I hope all are well and thank you for your help. It means a lot fo me to stay away from the games, and I don't think I could do it without you. I certainly did not do it without you. So, again, thanks.

wazzapp
wazzapp's picture
Offline
Last seen: 6 years 3 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 01/04/2015 - 10:59am
I have not played games since

I have not played games since 5th of july, and i will not play any today either

Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3

 

McPhee
Offline
Last seen: 6 years 10 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 04/29/2010 - 9:43am
Way to go!

Wecome, Wazzapp! I think you are going to like not gaming. It does take a while sometimes to get the urge to fade to a reasonable level. But it does fade. Every day that goes by, it gets a little easier. That does not mean urges won't return sometimes, and they may be strong. But they will pass and you will get a little better at fending them off. Congratz on not playing since July 5! That is a great start. I'm glad you are here and hope you enjoy not gaming as much as I do.

No plans to game today.

McPhee
Offline
Last seen: 6 years 10 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 04/29/2010 - 9:43am
Back again

I made it through the log in process with no more difficulty than usual and am happy to report I am still game-free and loving it. Stupid games. I am so glad to not be doing that any more. My life is still no paragon of excellence, but it's way better than when I was spending 16 hours a day playing the same computer games over and over and pretending that all the important areas of my life just didn't matter at all. What a crazy, messed-up way to live. Thanks so much Olga and all who post for your invaluable help peeling that tar baby off of me. It has been great.

I hope all are well. No plans to game today.

Sven
Sven's picture
Offline
Last seen: 2 years 1 month ago
OLGA member
Joined: 09/16/2012 - 11:10am
No much going on here, not

No much going on here, not gaming has become somewhat normal, urges coming and going and all, but its ok for the most part. More than two months in now, I have decided to reward myself and purchase a new telescope, but not sure about the timing, I might to postpone the purchase for another month to keep myself motivated.

Keep it up everybody, and have a good weekend.

sidsel
Offline
Last seen: 9 years 1 month ago
OLGA member
Joined: 06/04/2015 - 3:26am
18 days

I sincerely appreciate the community here and the encouragement and support I've gotten from you all.

Towards teh ends of my gaming days I was considering splashing out on a better gaming computer. Instead I now have my husband's old mac. Too little power to game with, but a better keyboard to write with. Very little urge to play games. The thought of a lifetime without is no longer so scary. Instead I'm envisioning a future of possibilities.

But I have to watch my general internet time still - so easy to pick up the phone to check facebook for OMG something new! every 15 minutes.

Today I did a little bit of gardening, made a cake and dinner, and now packing for a week in the country. Not bringing any computer - will try to write a bit by hand instead. Maybe I can get the mental space for some outlining and creative spark - between the bouts of my mum telling me how I should live my life and raise my kids and generally having a million tasks for me. I'm a bit apprehensive about the whole trip, but she's been getting more accepting over the years. I also hate to leave my greenhouse for a whole week, but maybe I can get the neighbour to water the plants as well as feed/water the cat.

Not gaming today.

Jamal
Jamal's picture
Offline
Last seen: 8 years 1 month ago
OLGA member
Joined: 04/29/2015 - 1:24am
38

Yes ....... 38 days free from gaming and I'm grateful for that.
The last relapse I was at 37 days recovery. No urge or craving this time.
I'm beginning to learn to love myself now . Grateful journal helps a lot. Everyday I will write at least 3 grateful things happening around me.
Attitudes of Gratitude is good for our recovery.
Love you all and I'm grateful for that.

addiction isn't a disease
addiction is an adaptation
it's not you
it's the cage you live in
ALEXANDRA, BRUCE K

wazzapp
wazzapp's picture
Offline
Last seen: 6 years 3 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 01/04/2015 - 10:59am
Still game-free! Today i will

Still game-free! Today i will reward myself somehow, maybe with some nice food

 

 

 

 

Also, thanks Macphee

Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3

 

McPhee
Offline
Last seen: 6 years 10 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 04/29/2010 - 9:43am
Holding on

No gaming or major urges to report. It's great that wazzapp, Jamal, Sidsel and Sven are also keeping the faith. Let's stay strong, my brothers and sisters!

There are definitely worse things in life than being a gaming-addicted screwup, but there are also an inifinite number of better ways to live. I think I am closing in on four months game-free and I have no plans to game today. Thanks much for your help with that.

McPhee
Offline
Last seen: 6 years 10 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 04/29/2010 - 9:43am
Made it!

I successfully navigated the log in process, which has not always been the case lately. I'm sure many people have been unable to get help with their gaming issues because of this website mess. Sometimes I have trouble understanding how priorities get set. Often those priorities are my own, admittedly. Anyway, I'm not gaming and hope others are finding their way to freedom from this bizarre compulsion. Olga's been a big help to me and I imagine that we will find our way through this issue and it will return to being a valuable resource for me and people like me. No plans to start again today.

wazzapp
wazzapp's picture
Offline
Last seen: 6 years 3 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 01/04/2015 - 10:59am
I have not been gaming, and I

I have not been gaming, and I will not game today. 

Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3

 

wazzapp
wazzapp's picture
Offline
Last seen: 6 years 3 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 01/04/2015 - 10:59am
Something "went wrong" in my

Something "went wrong" in my life, and instantly iIgot an incredible strong urge to game. But I will not.

Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3

 

McPhee
Offline
Last seen: 6 years 10 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 04/29/2010 - 9:43am
yep

Wazzapp, the urge to game can suddenly reappear even months or years after you've stopped gaming. It's usually associated with some kind of sudden stressor coming up. It can also be when you enter a situation in which you used to game. For instance, if you used to game when everyone went out of town and you were left alone for the weekend, you will likely get an urge when that happens again, even if you've had no other recent urges. Anyway, stay vigilant and stay positive. Urges always fade. If you can resist them for a while, they go away.

I'm doing okay. Feeling a little off-kilter this week because of a shook-up schedule, I think, but no biggie.  Twelve hours on the ambulance today should remind me of how fortunate I am. No plans to game.

wazzapp
wazzapp's picture
Offline
Last seen: 6 years 3 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 01/04/2015 - 10:59am
Thanks McPhee. I feel proud

Thanks McPhee. I feel proud of myself for dealing with my "pain/problem" in a mature way. I picked up an inspiring book, read a bit, sat down and really thought about the thing that upset me with a solution-focus. Made some notes. Much better than numbing myself with games.

I had a break-through today in my journey with taking cold showers. I think it's related to me not gaming and watching game related things on the computer. Usually i go for 30secs in the shower and then thank god that the torture is over, but today i've been doing 2-3mins 2 times, and i actually enjoy it, a tiny bit x)

Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3

 

Jamal
Jamal's picture
Offline
Last seen: 8 years 1 month ago
OLGA member
Joined: 04/29/2015 - 1:24am
Eid ul-Fitr

Yes, urge come and go but it will go away even we didn't realize it. It's a good feeling without gaming now and yeah I'm more clean and well kept compared to the gaming period, I was in awful mess .
Today we celebrate Eid ul-Fitr , so going to do a lot of visiting relative and friends this weekend. Happy joyous Eid Mubarak to all muslim friends.

addiction isn't a disease
addiction is an adaptation
it's not you
it's the cage you live in
ALEXANDRA, BRUCE K

wazzapp
wazzapp's picture
Offline
Last seen: 6 years 3 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 01/04/2015 - 10:59am
Experiencing some irritation

Experiencing some irritation and restlesness, probably withdrawal symptom. However i don't miss gaming, and I will not game today

Hurrekla!

Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3

 

McPhee
Offline
Last seen: 6 years 10 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 04/29/2010 - 9:43am
Good job!

Jamal, well done! I'm glad you're enjoying life game-free. It is sad how we can neglect things when we are buried in a game. Waking up to the mess can be pretty upsetting. It's good to get started on the cleanup.

Wazzapp, I think everybody, whether quitting gaming or not, experiences some unpleasant feelings from time to time. Sometimes we can identify what looks like the reason for the bad feelings, like getting in a disagreement at work or something, and sometimes we can't find a reason. Often in order to feel better we need to take on the problem by, for instance, apologizing to someone we've had a disagreement with or working on a task we've been avoiding. Other times it's just as good to divert ourselves with reading or exercising and wait for it to pass. The key thing right now is to not use gaming to cope since, as we know, that just makes everything worse. If you're not gaming, you're probably doing the right thing.

I'm okay. Feeling a little off as well and not sure why. But it will pass, I'm pretty sure. No plans to game today.

wazzapp
wazzapp's picture
Offline
Last seen: 6 years 3 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 01/04/2015 - 10:59am
Yeah definately could've been

Yeah definately could've been something else that upset me, changing "probably" to "maybe". 

I'm feeling some kind of restlesness. Also thinking a lot about carrer choices. I feel like i want to move to a bigger city. I have some things I keep myself from pursuing. Right now though i just need to get my head clear i think. My mind drifts away into negative places, and i loose control of my thoughts. There's nothing wrong with thinking about what you want to change, but beating yourself up isn't very productive. 

Today when i was meditating, my mind was racing. "Drop out of school, pursue something else". I don't know if i can trust myself. Even if my thoughts are true, that what i'm doing useless because it have low passion about it, i might be better off just doing it anyway, safe road to the middle-class. Lol. 

Im not asking for advice really, i just wanna ramble, the last 3 meetings i went to where empty, see u at 3 pm. LOL.

Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3

 

Sven
Sven's picture
Offline
Last seen: 2 years 1 month ago
OLGA member
Joined: 09/16/2012 - 11:10am
Urges still coming and going,

Urges still coming and going, but I'm able to deal with them in a more mature way these days, trying to anticipate what it would mean to get back into gaming. 
Not gaming, I have time to reflect upon others problems in my life and figure out ways to address them, opening up new possibilities. I have been reading a lot about psychology these days, what makes us tick, about impulse buying, living a minimalist lifestyle etc. Whenever I'm frustrated about the state of my apartment I start new round of decluttering, getting rid of things that I don't need but that clog up my living space. It feels liberating letting go of stuff.
Right now I'm working on building a more healthy weekend routine. I usually pick up a copy of the Financial Times Weekend Edition on Friday and start Saturday and Sunday morning with the paper and a cup of coffee. It sounds trivial, but somewhere in my brain there's a pathway associating Saturday morning coffee with games, and staying away from games alone is just not going to cut it, we need new pathways for our brain to  be able to consider alternatives.
I have to say without this thread, the counting up, being accountable it would have been back to the same old routine for me on more than one occasion. The mere thought of getting back into gaming makes me feel guilty. 
 

wazzapp
wazzapp's picture
Offline
Last seen: 6 years 3 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 01/04/2015 - 10:59am
I feel great today! My mind

I feel great today! My mind is relaxed. I'm getting things done. Sure I could do better, but what i'm doing is still great!!

And most importantly, 2 weeks game free!!! :D

 

Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3

 

Sven
Sven's picture
Offline
Last seen: 2 years 1 month ago
OLGA member
Joined: 09/16/2012 - 11:10am
With almost three months in,

With almost three months in, I think its time to start working on my more general Internet and, specifically Facebook abuse. I think its unrealistic to cut out the Internet completely from my life, the disadvantages in my view outweight the positive effects this may or may not have. I guess I finally encountered an addiciton, where moderation, not abstinance is the way to go.
Facebook is a different beast, I can think of removing it from my life entirely, however having very few friends left in the real world, that are scattered all over the country, I wonder whether this would actually be adverse to what I'm trying to achieve: more, not less social interaction. I know it doesn't qualify as real social interaction but currently its the next best thing I have, althought thinking about it, more often than not I don't interact so much as to consume.
The second difficulty is to find a way to stay informed about the things I care about, its just so **** convenient to click 'like' and keep the news coming. Its pretty laughable actually considering I'm almost 38 and haven't had or needed FB for the most part of my life.
 

wazzapp
wazzapp's picture
Offline
Last seen: 6 years 3 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 01/04/2015 - 10:59am
I feel great today. Woke up

I feel great today. Woke up earlier than i usually do (which is still very late x). Breakfast and work. I'm getting things done. Lol, i promise to not forget to have fun too =)

I will not game today

Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3

 

McPhee
Offline
Last seen: 6 years 10 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 04/29/2010 - 9:43am
Sounding good

Wazzapp, you seem to be going great. I think I understand your questions about what you're doing with your life. A lot of times we quit gaming and sort of wake up to all kinds of upsetting thoughts that are rolling around in our heads. (One wonders if a desire to avoid these thoughts was behind all or some of that obsessive gaming.) Anyway, often you have to confront some unsettling emotions, moods and thoughts when you quit gaming. Sometimes they're related to ambitions or dreams we have had but have abandoned or given up on. I am 59, and I would say that the longer I live the more convinced I am that I have sold myself short many times. I am capable of far more than I ever gave myself credit for. I have found I can do many things I thought I could never do. It's a great feeling, although sort of sad to think of all the time I spent wishing when I could have been doing. I hope you'll try to be who you aspire to be, and not listen to the self-downing thoughts you may be having. Good luck with it.

Sven, I hear you about the other problematic activities besides gaming. Once you get rid of the gaming, you tend to substitute other excessive activities, it seems. Or maybe you just realize that gaming isn't your only issue. Anyway, for me lately it's been reading. I have just been reading, reading, reading, book after book as fast I can download them from the library. The problem is I have a lot of stuff I need and want to be doing that all this reading is interfering with. Going to try to do better, read a little less and tackle some of the things I have been procrastinating about. These unpleasant-looking tasks are often not as bad as you think they will be, and you also often feel better after doing them than you thought you would.

No plans to game today. Thanks for your help with that. I'm not sure what my countup is, but something like five months.

wazzapp
wazzapp's picture
Offline
Last seen: 6 years 3 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 01/04/2015 - 10:59am
Thanks McPhee for your input.

Thanks McPhee for your input. I heart you

Had some cravings for gaming. It's like my mind longs to become unconcious, it's afraid of conciousness. 

Still doing great with cold showers, doing 1-2mins instead of my usual 30 secs, and that's amazing

I will not game this day

 

Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3

 

McPhee
Offline
Last seen: 6 years 10 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 04/29/2010 - 9:43am
Very good!

Wazzapp, that's great. There's no guarantee that quitting gaming will be easy or comfortable. You are likely to experience some unpleasantness from time to time. But overall, it's a huge bargain. To heck with a bunch of stupid gaming! I am sick, sick, sick of that. I'm glad I'm not spending my life clicking and dragging and typing away while staring at a screen until my eyeballs dry out from not blinking. Not cool.

I'm doing okay. I got started on some of the important tasks I've been procrastinating about yesterday. That's a good feeling. They weren't as bad as I'd feared. I also got in a swim, and plan to hit the gym today. Exercise seems to help the old mood. I spent much of the evening trying to get my new phone up to speed. That's always a project, reinstalling apps and trying to find all the data you spent so much time creating. It's going okay. I think I'll like the new phone better than the old. Otherwise, still lots of reading, but perhaps not quite so much.

No plans to game today.

wazzapp
wazzapp's picture
Offline
Last seen: 6 years 3 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 01/04/2015 - 10:59am
Thanks McPhee, yes anything

Thanks McPhee, yes anything is better than the sickened life of constant gaming

Was feeling some cravings after something "went wrong" again. They lasted for about 20 mins, then they faded away. Now I'm golden. 

Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3

 

wazzapp
wazzapp's picture
Offline
Last seen: 6 years 3 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 01/04/2015 - 10:59am
Beeing game-free now i can be

Beeing game-free now i can be at peace and happy. Instead I decide to push my growth even further, leaving some safety and comfort behind. Because of this, my resolution is tested even more. The road to growth is not always pleasant u see

Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3

 

sidsel
Offline
Last seen: 9 years 1 month ago
OLGA member
Joined: 06/04/2015 - 3:26am
4-5 weeks since relapse

Most of the time I don't even think about gaming anymore. Happy to be doing my studying or other tasks instead. Had a momentary longing for the 'Shinies' this weekend though, as a friend (whom I introduced to several of those games before) came visiting. He wanted to borrow my laptop while he was staying, but I told him the games were locked in Firefox 24/7, and I'd rather he didn't unlock them again. His response was a very confused "huh??", but he didn't ask again thankfully. It's not that I desire to game, but seeing someone else having the bright colours and familiar actions in front of them would have been far too tempting. He chatted about Plants vs Zombies with the kids instead. That was fine - tower defence type of games have never been my drug of choice, so their discussion wasn't triggering me at all.

Wazzap, remember to take it easy on yourself. If you make too many changes at once, it can get overwhelming, and the ego's reaction might be to rebell entirely and run back to the old and familiar. Reward yourself for every step forwards. Wishing you good luck on your path.

No plans to game today. 

McPhee
Offline
Last seen: 6 years 10 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 04/29/2010 - 9:43am
Nice!

Sidsel, well done! Having other people play games in front of you can be a trigger, for sure. Keep up the good work and keep the faith, brother!

Wazzapp, Sidsel is right about it being important to temper your desire for self-improvement. Research has shown that willpower is like a muscle. When we use it, it gets tired. It needs to rest. So try not to quit too many things or engage in too many willpower-consuming activities at the same time. I know that's vague and everything requires willpower, starting with getting out of bed and ending with brushing your teeth before going back to bed. But keep an eye on it. If you're trying to quit gaming, drinking, smoking and overeating all at the same time, you may be setting yourself up for failure. Try to set a schedule for quitting stuff. A few months after you quit gaming, try to quit something else, if you need to. You can use other self-indulgent activities, like eating sweets, as a reward for doing well with one quitting effort. Eventually, after a year or so, you'll be perfect -- like me!

Actually, of course, I still struggle with lots of things, but not gaming any more. And I've made many changes to my life for the better. Thanks to Olga and all of you for helping with that. No plans to game today.

Anewho
Offline
Last seen: 7 years 10 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 07/19/2015 - 11:53pm
Hi everyone,

Hi everyone,

Day 1 is nearly over, I uninstalled my latest drug yesterday, and deleted all of my characters prior to that. There is no way back! Well, there always is, but I tried to make it as difficult as possible so I won't try. It's like someone boobytrapping on his way out so nobody would follow him, or go back ...

I have a lot to read on the forums, but won't be able to do that just right now. I have so much on my mind. Like I posted on my own thread, I'm not even sure everything is over. MMO's, yes. But I still do have my console in my mind, and want to use it as famimy (limited) time. Whatever, I already am going to sell those time consuming/wasting games, I'm not going to list them. Well, I'm going to bt not here, on a sales site! :p

Though I have a question, I'm still "active" on two webgames. They aren't time consuming, not addictive. So, is there a reason to quit them too?

Feeling nervous and very active having a lot on my mind, but won't touch any game tonight. No plans to game today.

wazzapp
wazzapp's picture
Offline
Last seen: 6 years 3 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 01/04/2015 - 10:59am
Thanks for your imput! <3

Thanks for your imput! <3

Today i went to a face 2 face meeting for gambler anonymous. They also accepted computer gaming addicts, but i could tell from the overall situation that i was an unusual visitor. 

Even though I sometomes felt a bit like an outsider (they talked some about beeing deeply in debt, and the economic side of my gaming addiction was never really a problem), i would recommend anyone here to try the same thing. It was all in all a great experience and i'm definately trying to show up there again next week

Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3

 

Anewho
Offline
Last seen: 7 years 10 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 07/19/2015 - 11:53pm
Is anyone's gaming addiction

Is anyone's gaming addiction also affecting his finances? I'm glad it's not affecting mine. But it could be, some of those games have cash shops, and sometimes it is gambling to receive the right item, or you can try, and pay again!

 

I must say I had a good evening game free yesterday. I listened to music with my son and we did lipsing together with his microphone & guitar toy :D Then I watched 2x 25 minutes of anime. Somthing I already planned to do while gaming but never could because I couldn't stop gaming.

 

 

sidsel
Offline
Last seen: 9 years 1 month ago
OLGA member
Joined: 06/04/2015 - 3:26am
About other games

I'd probably stay off all of them. If they're not addictive now, they might still be a 'gateway drug' of sorts, where you play more and more of them "because they're allowed", rather than changing your focus to doing something else entirely with your time. For website games I recommend the addon Leechblock for Firefox. Set it to block the sites 24/7, with the requirement that you cannot enter the addon options during lockdown time (in this case, it means never!), and it should stop a lot of the 'will try just a little bit' feelings.

Good luck on your path!

Anewho
Offline
Last seen: 7 years 10 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 07/19/2015 - 11:53pm
Sidsel, thanks for your

Sidsel, thanks for your feedback about leechblock. I used that before but I didn't remember the name of it. I know it is one of the best addons to use. I will install it to block certain sites. For the game I'm playing, only the social side can be addictive but I'm not focusing on that part. For the rest, you can't play 24/7 so I don't spend hours playing it. So I'll see how it goes, if I see it goes too far I'll ban it too.

McPhee
Offline
Last seen: 6 years 10 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 04/29/2010 - 9:43am
Yeah!

Wazzapp, I am not shocked that you find the gamblers' group helpful. This whole anti-addiction world is a very interesting one. There's something so unusual and different from ordinary life about people getting together, dropping their guard, admitting to screwups and supporting each other to do better. I went to weekly Al-Anon meetings for about a year one time, even though I don't really think I have much issues with other people's drinking, which is what that group is about. It was a men-only group and it just amazed me to see guys stop all the macho posturing that we all use pretty much 24/7 and confess their weaknesses and speak openly and honestly about trying and failing to do better. Good luck with it. You are sounding great!

Anewho, anything you can do to make it more difficult to game can be helpful. Just about any block you put up can be overcome, of course, but it takes time and with luck during the interval you'll remember that gaming is not something you want to do. I encourage you to keep avoiding the games. Life is so, so much better without that time-sucking, soul-wasting, pointless and profitless activity in it. Personally, I don't play any computer or console games at all ever nowadays. I've quit too many times and been drawn back into it by something like getting into playing chess against the computer. I just really don't want to go back to spending many hours a day for days, weeks and months at a time, hiding out from real life in a computer-generated world and letting my important real-world duties go unfulfilled. I hate it. Not going there.

Sidsel, thanks for the leechblock reference. Every tool can be very useful for some of us. I'm glad you are here and hope you're well.

No plans to game today.

wazzapp
wazzapp's picture
Offline
Last seen: 6 years 3 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 01/04/2015 - 10:59am
Thanks! Yeah i will

Thanks! Yeah i will defenately try to go to GA regularly.

Today was a great day. I got a lot of things done, work and otherwise. I met up with non-gaming friends and had a blast. I feel great!

No plans to game today

Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3

 

Log in or register to post comments