Hello there, I am a mum to a 23 year old gaming addict here in the UK and I wondered if any of you knows where I can get help and support in this country? He lives in my house, doesn't work, doesn't help unless I nag, doesn't contribute financially and doesn't have anything in his life outside of gaming. He sleeps all day and is up all night gaming, eating all the food and drink and leaving a mess. He has become morbidly obese but even hearing that from the doctor has not stopped him. I love him and see now that I have been enabling him by allowing this. I feel huge guilt about this but when I try to talk to him about stopping it or even cutting down, he becomes very distressed, crying and sometimes physically threatening and I am afraid he will harm himself (even more). He says he is not addicted to games, he is addicted to talking to his friends in America and elsewhere in the world - hence the nighttime habit. All his friends are gamers. I am divorced since he was one and his father bought him his first PlayStation at age 5 when he didn't want to visit with dad and that sweetened the pill. He is smart but his life is passing him by and he just seems to be in a fog where nothing matters except gaming and eating. Please help. This is my beautiful boy but I don't recognise him anymore.
Rocketmande
Welcome Rocketmande
I'm glad you found us. I am from the UK. There is growing awareness of gaming addiction, interent addiction etc, but some practitioners are ignorant.
Anything taken to an excess can be an addiction. Some psychologists will argue whether theoretically it is adddiction or 'just a compulsion' , but the consequences are devastating and if he quits he will probably have withdrawals, both indicators of addiction . It sounds like his life is very unbalanced. nothing will change until you do something different.
If I were you I would start with your GP; you go to see him/her just to see what your area offers.
While you consider 'your plan' you can start by removing all sugar, cakes, biscuits, crisps, pop, orange juice, and easy snacks from the fridge, feezer and cupboard. Just buy really healthy food from now on.
If your son is in denial then nothing can make him recover or seek treatment; he has to want to go to treatment and admit he has a problem.
The only way you may be able to make him go is you use an ultimatum; you threaten to disconnect him unless he seeks medical treatment and you could insist that he makes you party to GP appointments, the GP will not give you details of what is said unless your son agrees to it. He would probably need to be referred, which is likely to be CBT which will not work unless he is committed to engageing, or ask for referral for family therapy so you can be in the session ( you may have to go private)
There is rehab for gaming addicts in the UK; Broadway Lodge in Weston Super Mare is one place I know of; but you need private funding for gaming addiction even though NHS take care of it if you are a drug addict. the priory also do rehab for gaming addiction. You could call them both for further advice about what they offer on outpatient basis. There are counsellor/psycologists that have experience of gaming addiction, but some of them poo-poo the need for abstinence ... so it could waste a lot of time and money trying to persue that.
Some gaming addicts who are not in denial use 12 step groups such as AA or NA or Gamblers anonymousin their locality. There are all sorts of different 12 step groups around so do some research .. there may be one for over-eaters and also .
You could always try our member May Light's approach of gradual withdrawal of gaming. I suggest you check out some of her posts.
You need to make a solid plan in advance and get the necessary support ( from family, friends, therapist) to deal with the complications.
Check out the links in the thread below. There is also one about dealing with suicide threats.
The first stop is to read and read the forums as much as you can to become knowledgable and prepared.
About the guilt; please forgive yourself. It is baffling how strong this addiction is ... we ALL walked in blind. You are not alone. Now our eyes are open; this is your chance to stop contributing to the situation currently being perpetuated.
Read on !
http://www.olganon.org/forum/i-need-help-parents-gamers/first-aid-kit-parents-video-game-addicts
If he will not seek treatment then the ball really is in your court; you will have to find a way to step back and take responsibility for living a sustainable adult life.
INFO
Help for gamers here
Help for parents of gamers here
Help for spouses/SO's of gamers here
Parent's online meeting THURSDAY 9pmEST/EDT click here
Online meetings gaming addicts click here
Please help! Donate here
Hi Polga, thanks for your reply, I didn't realise you were in the UK, that's reassuring to hear. I am a complete newbie to forums - it took me a while to even find your reply!! How would I find May Light's posts please? Thanks again. The feeling of not being alone with this is so good.
Rocketmande
Hi again
You can get links to her posts and comments here
http://www.olganon.org/users/may-light
INFO
Help for gamers here
Help for parents of gamers here
Help for spouses/SO's of gamers here
Parent's online meeting THURSDAY 9pmEST/EDT click here
Online meetings gaming addicts click here
Please help! Donate here
hi
i have just joined this group from the uk and i am in a very similar situation with my 20 year old son who has put on five stone and has got his clock all wrong due to gaming.
how are you getting on
Welcome Claire
Keep coming back to the forums to read parent's experiences. It really helped me to understand how/why I was feeling the way I did (totally powerless to change the addict and make them see sense) and what was in my power to address and what was not.
How we as parents are getting on ourselves, does not have to be related to the addict being in recovery or not; that is another important thing i learned here.
If you want to get more feedback from the OP, you could try sending a PM ( private message)
INFO
Help for gamers here
Help for parents of gamers here
Help for spouses/SO's of gamers here
Parent's online meeting THURSDAY 9pmEST/EDT click here
Online meetings gaming addicts click here
Please help! Donate here