My wife is addicted to Evony

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Last seen: 4 months 1 week ago
OLG-Anon member
Joined: 07/20/2021 - 10:57am
My wife is addicted to Evony

Hello Everyone,

I just feel the need to let a few things out.  My wife of over 6 years started playing Evony and is literally on the game all day and night.  I've seen her get out of bed very early in the morning to be on her game.  Her phone is always with her, even if we're out to eat. I have felt so alone that I even offered to get an account and play with her, just to feel like we're doing something together.  She said that's an invasion of her privacy.  This makes me feel like there's some sort of emotional affair happening. Soon after she started playing she said she felt a disconnect from me, said there's just no connection left.  She has asked for a divorce. I'm devastated, it came out of the blue, and I'm left searching for answers.  If I mention the game it leads to arguments, so I stopped doing that.  She's also an alcoholic so she does have issues with addiction.  I'm not going to bad mouth her as she's the most amazing woman ever when she wants to be, and addiction is very real.  I found this site and hope that it can help me to better cope with what's going on. She told me the other day that I'm probably the best guy she's ever dated. Said I'm a gentleman, and very caring/giving. Said I've never betrayed her trust with affairs, and that I've never emotionally or physically abused her. She made me out to be so amazing, yet wants to discard me like garbage.  It doesn't make any sense to me. I don't understand. If we have conversations it's usually about her game. She'll giggle and smile on her game, if I talk to her the smiles go away abruptly, and I feel like a nuisance to her. I think she is depressed about some things as well and the game started as an escape, but has quickly replaced me, and everything else as her reality.  I feel like I'm the game she can spend 15 minutes with a day, Evony is her real life now.  Our marriage was never perfect, but it's always been good. I feel so powerless with all of this.  Sorry for the rant, my emotions are pretty much everywhere right now.  Thank you for allowing me the time to let a little of this out.

Polga's picture
Last seen: 5 days 17 hours ago
AdministratorOLG-Anon memberOLGA member
Joined: 02/17/2014 - 11:33am
Welcome jskjordal

Welcome jskjordal

SO sorry to hear how your wifes addiction is wrecking your relationship. you are not alone.

This addiction is so powerful; it rewires their brains and they become less empathic. Recovery is possible but they need to find a reason to recover which is hard when they are not thinking straight, We are powerless over their addiction

She probably has a whole host of virtual friends and possibily an emotional affair which would explain her behaviour. 

I recommend you take time to read the links in the first aid kit for spouses; there is in link for spouses in my signature below. 

From what you have said, it sounds like the getting support thread, the detaching with love thread and stopping enabling thread may be particularly helpful.

Let the information sink in and then make a plan on how you are going to deal with it. 

Start to focus on yourself and get busy doing things that you want to do. Once you stop asking from the breadcrumbs of attention she is willing to give you, she may notice things are changing which may alter the dynamic between you.

Any questions please ask.



Help for gamers here

Help for parents of gamers here

Help for spouses/SO's of gamers here

Parent's online meeting THURSDAY 9pmEST/EDT click here

Online meetings gaming addicts click here

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Last seen: 4 months 1 week ago
OLG-Anon member
Joined: 07/23/2021 - 12:29am
Total betrayal!

I feel you. I have just found out that my SO had taken the racing chats from discord to a WhatsApp chat. I'm incredibly heartbroken and betrayed. We have 2 young children. All they could say about the is that it's all fantasy and meant nothing. In my opinion he just doesn't care about us. I've been reading the other posts and I can feel the pain. It's horrible! 
I don't know what to do, I'm stuck in the house with this man and I'm trying to keep it together for the children. 
what is wrong with these people, do they not see what their doing to their loved ones! 
Take care everyone, thank goodness for this chat. I'm so lost!  

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