I've been thinking...
I feel like the main reason I'm the youngest person on this website (15) is that other kids my age aren't ready to be responsible enough to realize they have an addiction. I have several friends who spend a lot of their time gaming, and they (and their parents as well) don't believe they have an addiction to videogames, even though I can plainly see they're even worse off than I was. The excuse they (and I, back then) used is that everyone at that age plays games. While this is true, they find it unbelievable that the majority of "typical 15-year-olds" that play games are actually addicted and they don't even know it.
Because all my friends have this mentality, they have tried to convince me several times that I don't have any silly addiction to video games, and a couple have said things like "trust me. If anyone has an addiction to video games, it's me. Which I don't. I can quit whenever I want."
My reaction to that reaction, I can quit whenever I want, has changed over time. At first I believed them, but I soon realized I had said the same thing several times during my addiction, and now whenever someone says that, I say "Prove it." Their responses vary, from "I don't feel like it," to "I don't have anything better to do than game," to even "Fine! I will!.... but, not right now. Maybe next week."
(FYI, I'm bolding the important quotes)
And in all honesty, the main reason I was able to realize my addiction and find the path to destroy it was my dad making me realize it. If not for him, instead of typing this update on olganon.org, I would probably be typing cheat commands in Minecraft.
Maybe that's what it takes for a gamer as young as me. Someone else needs to wake them up hard. They won't like it one bit, but it may just save them from destroying their potential lives.
This post goes out to my good friend Logan, who seems to be addicted to every game under the sun. Or rather, under the roof, and the shades drawn.
Welcome to OLGA SpacePirate! I'm so glad you realize this at such a young age. And I have to tell you that your writing sounds like someone much older, so kudos to you and your education. :) But truly, I'm not sure what's going to happen to the future of America especially since we are raising whole generations of people that waste time gaming instead of becoming a better and smarter person working toward their passion and helping society to become better. Computers weren't around when I was a kid, so I guess I was lucky it didn't hit me until I was 50 and it only lasted four years.
Good for you for being here. Maybe try out a meeting or two also. They really help.
Hugs!
I totally get this spacepirate and you are right on.
It's great that you listened to your dad. Lots of teenagers wouldn't.
And:
I'm not sure I want to say that gaming is a scourge that is going to destroy society, but.....I think *excessive* gaming is a scourge that is going to destroy society.
If you aren't addicted, but you game instead of playing chess or bridge, playing tennis with friends, having a barbeque, taking up guitar, learning another language, talking with your friends and relatives, etc., etc. Of course, TV has already laid the groundwork, because some people isolate and watch the tube all the time. But sometimes it's just on in the background...you can't really have games "on in the background", you have to play. And if gaming is as addictive as nicotene, or narcotics, which seems possible from some of the experiences here, then it's going to addict a larger portion of the population than some other addictions.
And addictive gaming destroys families, work, careers, economic efficiency, friendships, ...
So there are going to be increasing numbers of people addicted and badly addicted. And increasing numbers of people who've been playing their whole lives, who have missed out on huge chunks of real-life development.
Like a 24-yr. old friend of mine said, if you want to find an addicted gamer, just swing a dead cat (and you'll hit one). So there are a lot of people who need a lot of help.
[I live in a college town, btw]
I am a recovering computer game and gambling addict. My recovery birthday: On May 6, 2012 I quit games and began working a program of recovery through OLGA No computer games or slot games for me since December 12, 2012. No solitaire games with real cards since June 2013.
Spacepirate, I had a conversation with another mum yesterday about her daughter who is just the most mature, sensible and adult kid around. Her mum is worried for her.
Please, make sure you take the time to be a kid and enjoy it. If you try to be too responsible and adult all the time, that can come back to bite you on the ass too. It's how a lot of us became addicts.
Do something silly today :-)
Spacepirate, it is great to hear that you realized you have an issue with gaming at such an early age. CONGRATULATIONS! You said your dad made you realize that you had an issue.
I have a 19 year old son and no matter what I do or say, he doesn't want to know, similar to your friends. Could you share with us how your dad made you to realize it? Maybe it works for us too; desperate mother :-(
Keep up the good work! You have so much potential to make the most of Real life. Good luck!
"The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past. You can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches." "The first step toward change is acceptance." "Once you accept yourself, you open the door to change. That's all you have to do." "Change is not something you do, it's something you allow."- Will Garcia
That's awesome that you did make the realization and connection that gaming was destroying your life, and I'm glad you were able to hear your father. I think it's really important however to distinguish which came first, "the chicken or the egg?" A big part of 12 step programs is realizing that I can only control what I do, not anyone else. If I'd wanted to continue gaming, I could have. My parents could have cut me off, never talked to me again, and I could very easily have never stopped gaming. These sort of circumstances may help us to reach our bottom, but ultimately the addict is the one who has to come to the conclusion that he/she is an addict. I think it's great and really helpful that your father communicated to you (as I remember from a previous post) that he was fed up with your gaming and was ready to give up on you and thought you were an addict, but as you've already seen with your friends just telling someone this sort of thing may not cause them to have the same epiphany you had.
Last game played: April 24th 2014
May Light,
As both an addict, a younger brother of an addict, and a son of an addict I feel obligated to tell you three things.
You didn't cause the disease of addiction
You can't cure the disease.
You can't control the disease.
I've met many wives, husbands, sons, daughters, mothers, and fathers who have tried for years to make their addict realize what they are with no results. I have one friend who tried everything. He took his alcoholic wife to AA meetings, held interventions, brought her to therapists, and had been forced to take her to the hospital for alcohol poisoning on three separate occasions where she nearly died and had to stay in the ICU. He did these things, and more, for years to no avail.
Finally, one holiday dinner, his wife was cooking dinner for their family and of course had been drinking. She passed out while cooking a turkey in the oven, and of course the turkey burnt. Besides that, which was minor at that point in the family's life, the holiday went fine.
My friend's wife asked him to take her to rehab the next day proceeded to get sober from there. While at a meeting she was asked what her bottom (the low point in her addiction that made her realize her life was unmanageable and that she was powerless over her addiction) was. She replied that "I knew that when I burned the turkey dinner that I was out of control and that I was a mess. I realized I needed help."
Now certainly don't take this as an exact template for how all addicts reach bottom, but I hope this story helps illustrate the 3 lines I wrote above.
Please find help for yourself and find a support group, either Al-Anon or Nar-Anon to supplement Olga-Anon. Just because we cannot stop the addict from using doesn't mean we cannot live our lives and be happy and love them. I wish you the best.
Last game played: April 24th 2014
Bill F, thank you for taking the time and sharing your knowledge and experiences with me. As a mother, it is heart breaking to watch a young intelligent man destroying his life in front of my eyes. I think it is a matter of time for me too, to acknowledge what you very wisely said in your post: "You didn't cause the disease of addiction.You can't cure the disease.You can't control the disease." There is not a single day passes where I don't think about "what else I can do to help him."
My life has been 'on hold' for the last 3-4 years. I kept doing what I had to do for living and fulfilled my responsibilities but 'enjoyment' part was no longer there. But I totally agree with your comment below: "Just because we cannot stop the addict from using doesn't mean we cannot live our lives and be happy and love them." I am working on it... Thank you also for suggesting the other groups for support.
It touches me deeply when people like yourself reach out and share their experiences to support and guide us in these difficult days. THANK YOU! Hope you also have a happy and fulfilling life. All the best.
"The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past. You can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches." "The first step toward change is acceptance." "Once you accept yourself, you open the door to change. That's all you have to do." "Change is not something you do, it's something you allow."- Will Garcia