Game could end my relationship

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Time to Stop
Last seen: 2 years 8 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 03/16/2019 - 12:21pm
Game could end my relationship

Hi all
First of all please excuse my spelling and grammar....
Well i split from a 18 year relatiion ship and 2 years on i met somone online through a game we were both played at the same time.
when we met was the time i was about to quit but playing but i stayed because i fell deeply for her.
Now 8 months later we r still together and going strong. We have had some problems with talking over the phone like trying to have a conversation but she was still playing the game while we were speaking. But We have spoken about this and agreed that it would stop while on the phone it still happens every now and then.
The problem is that the game takes over peoples lives and cost money to get anywhere and distracts u from the real life problems and for me and her it was a distraction when we were both in a bad place but now i want to quit and in doing so im scared i will end up loosing what we have.
we get on so well away from the game but i feel im always compeeting with a stuipid game for her atention I need to move on in life but i cant do so playing this anymore.

Any advice would be great or has anyone else been in a similar situation.

Thank u for reading


Polga's picture
Last seen: 4 days 8 hours ago
AdministratorOLG-Anon memberOLGA member
Joined: 02/17/2014 - 11:33am
Hi Bill

Hi Bill

Follow the link for spouses/SO's in my signature which may be helpful for you

What exactly do you have ? A virtual relationship and phone time ? That's what it sounds like so i will assume that is the case. Sorry if I am wrong.

I think it may help you to think what you really want out of life. It sounds like that you think that gaming has become an unwelcome distraction to you. Could it also be that this attachment to an online player is also a distraction if there can never be a proper healthy relationship where you have similar goals and outlook on life and deep caring. If the most you have in common is a game is that a good enough basis ? Only you can answer that. Life is short, and none of us is getting any younger.  Take care.


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ARandomHero's picture
Last seen: 2 years 3 months ago
OLG-Anon memberOutreach
Joined: 01/18/2016 - 4:51am
Hello Bill thank you for

Hello Bill thank you for sharing your post, 

What's interesting when I read your writing is that I see a lot of similar occurrences that I had to deal with as well when I would fall for a lot of these eGirls as I like to call them nowadays,online girlfriends, gamer girl friends or whatever you want to call it.  I'm assuming you play in some sort of MMORPG with this girl or you met her in that sort of environment.

Back in my day maybe you know when I was in my late teens I would go through a lot of these girls online you would play with them in the game you would start to fall attraction for them and then you would get their friend tag or their information to private message them. You would start building these emotional feelings for them. In one particular case there was a girl that I played WOW with and I had a really great World of Warcraft account at the time and I was on the alliance faction and I sold it in order to play the horde faction with her. I believe back then we used to Ventrilo voice program nowadays they use discord, but you know this was like 10 years ago or something. 

I talked to this girl a lot we played together and you know I developed feelings for her we would talk like every night on the phone. I think she was still playing while we were talking as well but I had quit the game at the time.  I totally quit I was bored of it and I wanted to actually move forward in life. So I figured if she was meant to be, if she was the person for me then she would respect that decision and we would still talk just as much and there would be no problems. 

What really happened was as soon as I quit the game we went from talking everyday to talking like a couple times a week. To once a week to once every two weeks and then eventually it was like pulling teeth just trying to get in contact with her because I didn't play the game anymore. Our main ways of contact was pretty much messaging outside the game on some sort of messaging program or talking on the phone which you know it was hard to do at that point. She started to make a lot of jokes about me back then and a lot of issues would start to arise, we would argue a lot and eventually she told me that she found some other guy that she liked online too. 

I guess he played the game with her or something and since I had quit the game you know she wasn't as interested anymore. So this may be a very real possibility that happens for you. Who knows but I will let you know that if the girl is meant to be and you want to quit the game then just quit the game don't don't worry about it no game is worth your future. 

If she's the right woman for you then she will respect your decision and she will support you and being encouraging teammate and cheerleader on your side and if she's not the one for you then she will blow away with the wind.  Yes it will be painful if that happens yes your heart will hurt but you'll get over it as time goes on just like I did in my situation back then. You'll learn something from it and you'll grow stronger from it so just do whatever you want to do if it's to quit the game then do that and go from there hopefully this help.

Time to Stop
Last seen: 2 years 8 months ago
OLGA member
Joined: 03/16/2019 - 12:21pm
Thank u for all posts guys

Thank u for all posts guys
I did meet this girl through the game and now we speak on the phone daily and meet up once a month, but when we are together we have the best time. Reading your posts i think im just going to quit the game and see how she responds, just really bugs me talking on the phone when u know the other person is engrossed in a game and its a one way conversation think i need to address this with her aswell.
I will update u guys and let u know how it goes
Thank u for all your help i relly appreciate it..

Leo2u1's picture
Last seen: 2 years 2 months ago
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Joined: 10/02/2019 - 6:35am
For me, games are a way of

For me, games are a way of maintaining relationships with friends on a distance. I’m not saying that games are a solution, but still, when you can’t come across half a stratum, it’s an opportunity to maintain shared hobbies and not lose touch with each other

jorgepp's picture
Last seen: 1 year 7 months ago
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Joined: 04/21/2020 - 8:23am

I do not agree Leo2u1 !


Last seen: 1 year 7 months ago
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Joined: 04/23/2020 - 8:36pm
It depends on the game and

It depends on the game and the amount of time you or your SO are spending on a computer vs doing things offline, and what sort of game it is can make a difference too. If the person you are seeing can't leave a game, then that could be a problem. There are always less addictive games to be found, so maybe find and suggest one to them, as hard as it is to leave a game you've been on for so long.

Long distance is also hard, as is breaking up with anyone you've grown close to, but if they start bringing down your self-esteem and they stress you out, you might want to consider therapy or counselling for yourself - and if it comes down to a split, they can probably help you prepare emotionally for a difficult time in the short-term which will help your long-term happiness. 

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