Hello all
My name is Nick and I'm addicted to technology. I've been this way for a long time now but somehow I got myself through college. I'm transitioning into work life and the problem is still as alive as it ever was. Last night I binged watch so many series of Black Mirror on Netflix. I just kept watching and watching and watching. I started at around lunch time and I didn't stop until midnight. I hate that we have a couple of Smart TV's in the house. I didn't buy them but my Dad did and he watches them a lot. I feel like I always have to isolate myself by sitting in the kitchen while everybody else eats in front of the TV. I wish I could have the self-control but I don't.
Anyway, some of you might be familiar with Toastmasters. I was assigned as a Toastmaster the next morning and I ended up not preparing for it whatsoever. I didn't even turn up to the meeting or let anybody know that I was going to be missing. I feel ashamed. My phone has been on airplane mode since this morning and it's 9 pm and I still haven't turned it back on.
It's been this way for a few weeks now. Every Sunday when I have a lot of time, I slip into this state and binge on TV. And I'm really sick of myself. I don't want to let people down. I know that I am competent, but everytime I want to do something to better myself; get involved in a club, taking on leadership positions, etc., I always shoot myself in the foot.
I'm thinking about quitting the club and giving up my position as a board member. Our club is already struggling with membership and rentention and if I leave, it would be the last nail on the coffin. At the same time, what use am I if I repeatedly neglect my responsibilities. I hate letting people down. And for what, to watch freakin' Black Mirror?!
Thanks for reading.
Welcome Nick. thanks for sharing your story
Many people would find it hard to turn up to a toastmasters meeting. It may be that the thought and your mental rumination about going is far worse than if you 'bit the bullet' and turned up. I would encourage you to make contact with the person you trust most in the group prior to the next meeting and explain how you feel. I hope they would want to support you ... its what toastmasters is all about ... supporting people to get confidence in their ability.
You realise you have a problem and want to change.. that is a great start. Keep trying and you will get there. Keep coming back to the site to read about how people overcome their problems. All the best to you.
INFO
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Help for parents of gamers here
Help for spouses/SO's of gamers here
Parent's online meeting THURSDAY 9pmEST/EDT click here
Online meetings gaming addicts click here
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Yes the stress of preparing for the toastmasters meeting has gotten to me for the past few weeks. I'm in the process of reaching out to the president now, just trying to work out what to say exactly. She actually sent me a very nice text asking if I'm okay.
Glad to hear that she has reached out. This is an opportunity for you. All the best with it.
INFO
Help for gamers here
Help for parents of gamers here
Help for spouses/SO's of gamers here
Parent's online meeting THURSDAY 9pmEST/EDT click here
Online meetings gaming addicts click here
Please help! Donate here