I feel I abandon my 21 year old son who is severely addicted to gaming.

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mcca3801
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I feel I abandon my 21 year old son who is severely addicted to gaming.

I am a 45 year old mother, of a 21 year old son, who has a terrible gaming addiction.  He keeps the entire house awake all night playing on his games.  He has no regard for me, that works, or my 11 year old who has school.  We just moved out of the house and in with my boyfriend, becuase my boyfriend sees that I am exshusted all the time from lack of sleep.  My 21 year old son wont leave the house, or get a job.  I have enabled him for so long that I feel I am to blame.  He has until March to get a job and become self sufficent.  I dont see that happening.  I have so much guilt for moving out and leaving him in the house alone, but it was affecting my health to stay.  I just didnt know what else to do?  I worry about his emotinoal state.  He is always very angry and mean to me.  He wont talk to me about anything, and stays locked in his room.  Have I done the wrong thing leaving?  

Christine

Polga
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You need to look after you

You need to look after you and protect your younger child

If you are paying for the house then you can also disconnect your internet and electricity supply. Then he won't be able to game any more. He may then 'wake up'.

Really you need to make a plan on how you can stop enabling him, how you can tackle any health concerns such as harm to himself or others. Consider getting professionals involved. Find support for you.

Keep reading the forums for ideas.

Online parents meeting Thursday nights.

INFO

Help for gamers here

Help for parents of gamers here

Help for spouses/SO's of gamers here

Parent's online meeting THURSDAY 9pmEST/EDT click here

Online meetings gaming addicts click here

Please help! Donate here

DPMOM
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Unconditional love sometimes

Unconditional love sometimes requires the Parent of an Addict to do the exact opposite of your maternal instinct.  I would make a list of all the resources your son can use to get help (therapy, ITAA mtg, etc) and write him a letter telling him how you feel and what is going to happen. 

1) on xxx date the internet will be shut off and you will not game in my home

2) on xxx date you will have a job or move out. I will give you $x to get through the week but then you will not have any additional money. 

3) Get strong by friends that can hold you up and remind you to care for you.  

Unconditional love is to stop feeding money and support of the addiction.  Best book ever... “Its Not Okay to be a Cannibal” highly recommend.  

My 21 yr old son is in recovery after an intervention. There is hope and he needs to see there is hope. 

Polga
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Hi DPmom

Hi DPmom

I would like to know more about how your intervention worked if possible. Thanks.

INFO

Help for gamers here

Help for parents of gamers here

Help for spouses/SO's of gamers here

Parent's online meeting THURSDAY 9pmEST/EDT click here

Online meetings gaming addicts click here

Please help! Donate here

DPMOM
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Intervention

I chose to become unplugged from OLGA and most online forums during the healing process after we sent our son away to residential program.  This is a bery delayed response!!
You asked about intervention. We did the intervention ourselves (husband and I) with support from a family therapist.  It was awful but necessary and I would do it again in a heartbeat. My Adult Son is on a slow road to recovery, I cant imagine where we would be if we didnt intervene.  We live on East Coast and sent him far off to West Coast. 
FYI a new residential facility specific to internet and gaming is opening soon 2020 in Massachusetts. 

Polga
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Thanks for the feedback on

Thanks for the feedback on the situation and also intereseting to hear about a new facility. All the best to you.

INFO

Help for gamers here

Help for parents of gamers here

Help for spouses/SO's of gamers here

Parent's online meeting THURSDAY 9pmEST/EDT click here

Online meetings gaming addicts click here

Please help! Donate here

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