hello. This is my first post. I have known my SO for two years and I had no idea he had an addiction. We moved in together over a year ago and weeks before our wedding we had to cancell it. He was taking money for games secretly from our joint account and kept it as a secret until I noticed money for the wedding started dissapearing.
I love him and he says he loves me. But his attachment to games and lies are affecting us and the trust. He is becoming more defensive and I know he won’t get help or get better if he first doesn’t admit he has a problem. My heart is broken. I had chosen him to marry and get old with, he has a good heart. But his current lies are putting a wall between us. I don’t recognize him. I don’t know how much longer I can take this. Help.
Hi Sasha, I am so sorry you are experiencing this behavior now. My wife or now my ex wife is currently addicted to her games. At one point she was playing 60 plus hour a week and ignoring me. I later found out that she made a male connection. Which crushed me. You can stop enabling the behavior. Don't be the marytr and don't play the victim. I don't recognize my ex either. I love her. Her behavior hurts my heart too. I understand your pain, your abandonment, your lonilness and your anger. Your feelings are all very normal reactions to your loved one's inablity to see what their addicition is doing to you. Learn to practice self care and establish some boundaries and you will feel better as you empower yourself. I hope all of this makes sense. Good Luck.
If you can't stand for something you'll fall for anything.
Welcome Sasha. Addiction changes people. These games are so powerful. Even people who say they have a problem find it haard to quit. Only he can chose to recover.
There are tools and info to help you understand addiction and look after yourself. See the link for SO's in my signature.
INFO
Help for gamers here
Help for parents of gamers here
Help for spouses/SO's of gamers here
Parent's online meeting THURSDAY 9pmEST/EDT click here
Online meetings gaming addicts click here
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Sasha, i am new too and all the reading i see is that you have to not enable and get really tough, potentially let him know he will lose you. It has to hurt is what i am reading.