HOW TO TELL YOUR CLAN YOUR OUT

Example Post: Hey guys. Just wanted to let you all know that I've decided to hang up my spells/sword/bow/gun for personal reasons. I've got a lot of stuff in my personal life I need to straighten out and I've been playing way too much. Thanks for allowing me on the team/in the clan/guild and I hope you guys make it to the top of the ladder, (or whatever is appropriate.) If you want to keep in touch, here's my email. /laters [YOUR NAME HERE] Keep it short and sweet, let them know it's definite and thank them for playing with you. It's all you need to do. Ron

I would think that any of the known guild members are experiencing some kind of similar trouble in their lives. I found that out.. its kind of one of the things you don't talk about.. but secretly almost all of them are thinking the same way. The game isn't even "fun" after awhile.. it takes on other characteristics like stress, greed, hatred, and other negative emotions (the mechanics of unhappiness). Once the newb dies and you get a feel for the "popularview/ atmosphere" it just becomes rat race. There is nothing in this game that breeds anything positive inside of you. The game mechanics give you hundreds of ways to hurt people ..but only a few emotes to do anything nice. You might just inspire one of your friends to do what he really wishes he could do.

Actually, you could probably just tell one person in your clan that you quit and aren't returning (you don't have to give a reason or they might try to talk you out of it), and that person for sure would let the rest of your clan know, and then they'd scramble to find someone to fill your spot. It really is out of sight/out of mind for them. Sad on your end, I know, but the good thing is everyone in your game will be just fine. So don't torture yourself too much about saying goodbye. The hard part for me was I thought I was the most important person in my game and that everyone there needed me. It's really not the case. I know it's mentioned a lot on here about how your game friends are only your friends when you play the game and they forget you almost instantly when you don't play. When you read that as a game player, you just can't believe that to be true! I know I didn't!! But once you do quit, you will find out it's totally true. Don't worry about them or their reaction. They'll be fine. Debbie

When I quit WoW the first time (July) I wrote a long, dramatic post on the guild forums and said my "good-byes" to everyone... I left my IM name and e-mail address... And kept in touch with maybe 2 out of the 60 people who I considered to be my "best friends." When I quit this past Thanksgiving ~ I just simply left. I'm not sure if that was rude of me, but I felt like I needed to quit fast. Love, Solei

Oh yeah, one more thing that Solei alluded to... When you leave the game, don't expect to carry on your friendships with the people you played with, even those you were with in-game every day. You'll "talk" for a bit, but then that relationship will quickly crumble and they'll forget all about you. It's a wakeup call how much of an illusion online relationships really are, for the most part. Ron

Yeah, you really don't even have to make a long post unless you just want to. I'd tell one person and just split; you can leave contact info if you want, but don't expect much out of it. I made one, not lengthy, just that "blablabla I have RL here's my email my sn my site URL BYE!" All but 4 people I played WoW with out of 100 or so I spoke to regularly (yes, THAT many) I still talk to because they have more to talk about and our life goals extend well past WoW's offerings. I wouldn't think about it so hard. Just say "hey, I'm quitting, got RL stuff to do" leave contact info if you want, block whomever asks if/when you're coming back or whomever tries to convince you to come back (because if they can't understand "I quit," then you don't need them; they're just annoying). After that, you're pretty much free.

I definitely agree with all the above statements. Short and maybe sweet ;). Don't worry about affending people or w/e by leaving something definite and real. It's just a game, and if you write your response like your treating it as such, that's just tranaslating to yourself "Hey, you know, I dont need to take this seriously. If others do, then that's their problem." And yeah, friends on WoW, out of ALL of my guild members, some of which I talked to everyday about RL stuff even, I never talk to anymore. I have my old GL on my messenger, and we chat sometimes, but it's nothing fantastically life changing. I'd say that was the biggest wake up call for me when I quit the first time, and now it was just expected. Besides, real friends are those you can spend QUALITY time with, and just can't give you the /ignore whenever, or pretend they're something that they're not. Alec

heres one, I am bored with this game, thanks for the wounderful times we had. I have decided to quit and move on. Aw what the heck, you should not have to make a break up speech for a game, I know some are your friends and some know your myspace account name if you have one. but its just a game for crying out loud, you can just leave and quit without warning, heck half those guilds on there are too didicated to the game if you ask me, they are your friend til you quit, thats why I stick with small social guilds, though if you are in one of those types of guild I guess a short goodbye would be polite. Gaming is a great way to pass the time, but only in moderation, your rl is more important then your vl(vl=virtual life, kinda catchy if you ask me :D)

Josh is right. You don't owe them anything. Once you are gone you will never speak to most of them again, and besides, most of them will be too busy raiding to care anyway. You are the most important. Do what it is YOU need to do and stop worrying about what others think. Ron

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Even though I will prolly never have any contact again with most if not all of the people I played with, They are still people that I interacted with over a long period of time. The fact that most will drop interest in interacting with me in a NY minute once I am not gaming with them, is to me irrelevant. I don't need to make excuses for leaving the game, but I did feel I owed the people at least a goodbye, short and sweet as it were, but still something. Frankly I would be very surprised if any made contact with me after the goodbye. I had played EQ then EQ2 for over 8 years. I have seen a great number of people come and go. I know once somebody was gone, well they left your world so what was left to talk about. I never e-mailed anybody who left. I did feel that maybe the person left in a "huff" or something or I felt they were "rude" if they didn't even say goodbye. So know I didn't "owe" them anything but I did owe myself the knowledge that at least I said goodbye.[/size]

Not that I have done it yet. But I believe that when I do I am going to tell them exactly why. It is something that no one talks about or even jokes about the same people I see it happening to. Well I'll just skip that class or Ill call in or go in late. Before I became addicted I was always upset with my husband hours and hours he would play no hi to the family after work even ate his dinner on the computer. It was terrible this was 2yrs ago. I started doing searches for online addiction any terms I could think of and couldnt seem to find a thing on it. I knew it existed I could see it in my husband so clearly yet I could find little to no information about it. I gave up searching and 2yrs later I have found myself addicted to gaming. I feel ashamed and embarrassed by it so much that outside of here and today my best friend of 13yrs I have not mentioned it I even hide it from friends and family. Because I am coming to terms of what this means and I have now found that I am not alone and that it will be ok if you deal with the issue instead of hiding it. I think because of the few resources that seem to be public if I am honest with what is happening to me with my guild I might in turn help someone else even if they dont quit right then and there it may put the idea into there head that they are not alone.

Be prepared for some flak, People don't like having an ugly mirror held up to them. But I think it would be a brave and wonderful thing to do. In my son's "guild" boards (in his game they call them shells) there are sometimes gamers who post messages that they are leaving "for personal reasons", but don't elaborate. If they would it might help someone like him think a bit more about if this is really the road he wants to spend so much time walking down. Sounds like you are doing some strong self appraisal. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, and continued good wishes as you progress.

I just left. My game playing was not healthy. I knew that only one relationship was worth saving. I just cut the cord and did not look back. The one person I called and now I talk about different things with him. It seemed to me to say something to guildies meant that I still cared about the game dynamics.

You could follow Diggo's suggestion, which is good. I think it helps in a situation like this, is to look at it from this perspective: If you are honest and tell others in your guild/clan that you're going to get on with your real life, that says alot. It also may encourage others to follow in your footsteps, or at least make them step back and really take a good look at themselves and how they're living their life.