Starting the journey

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Dudeson
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Starting the journey

Hello,

this is me, finally quitting gaming once and for all. No looking back, no back doors. This is it. A fresh start  to find back to life.

 

First, who am I? I am Dudeson, 29 years old, living in germany. I started gaming when I was 5 years old with a gameboy to play with my best friend at that time. It evolved to all sorts of consoles, handhelds and finally the computer. I reached my final peak in the age of 14 when the internet found its way into everyones household. I played hours and hours in rage when I was playing (mostly ego shooters at that time), even more outraged when I was not allowed to play. I neglected friends who did not play. I somehow managed to finish school. The day I was done I moved to another city. There I dropped even further into addiction. I played without any boundaries, played through nights, ate when I had to. Porn and drug abuse started aswel. I wasted 5 years in that city without making any progress in my life. Except for a girl that I met and that I tried to quit gaming for for the first time in my life. I knew that I had to change things to keep her in my life and finally I went to therapy. I stayed gaming free for at least two years.
But Corona came and my life started to go down again. I lost the battle of gaming and lost my girlfriend that I left everything behind for.
I started to have struggles to hold back. First it was just phases for a few days until I quit again, but the phases came more frequently and lasted longer. Right now I was in such a phase wich lasted for a month now until this very moment.
Luckily I found a friend and a girlfriend who make me want to lead my life in a healthy way. 
So here is what I tried and what did not work in the end:
I locked my phone by password which only knows my friend to only be usable for calls and half an hour of internet. I secured my browser also by password, but I managed to download another from where I eventually downloaded games again and consumed porn aswell.
I had a routine for the morning to start my day, but it vanished by now completely. I used to go to an addiction group to talk about my week, but I quit, because I had the feeling of being in the wrong place. Mostly because I came fresh out of therapy, being younger and not having an alcohol addiction like most of them.

So this is the starting point. The new semester is starting, I am oficially in the 9th semester now, but my work progress is being half way through, so three semesters to go. I do sports several times a week. Sometimes in the gym, sometimes in a dojo. When I am not  on gaming I eat healthy, almost no sugar, cooking on my own. I have a part time job which does not fullfill me, but my employer is nice and I can stay focussed there.

My goal is to get furniture in my apartment which has some kind of concept. Right now I barely put stuff in there which is obligatory.
To get a job which has potential of growth for my future career.
To finish the university.
To keep making sports.
To keep my friends and grow my circle of friends.
To quit smoking.
To find a therapist again to find out why I kept coming back to gaming and pushing people away, that I love.
And to develop my emotions more, sharing my feelings, so others know what is going on with me.

Id like to get a computer on wich it is not possible to install games, same for a mobile device, but I have not found one yet. If anybody has seen something like that, please leave a recommendation here.

Thanks for reading, I will state my progress in this post at least three times a week.

I wish us all the strength and patience that we need to fight this battle. Life is precious.

Dudeson
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Joined: 10/16/2023 - 10:04pm
day three

So, write again, because I had not disabled rich Text...
In short, I am fine, preparing for University. Not having Plans yet for the weekend. Maybe something with my girlfriend, going to a Club or checking my finances.

kris777
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Joined: 09/17/2023 - 8:57am
Sounds cool

I am sure that starting a new journey, especially one that involves stepping away from gaming, is a brave and commendable step. As you embark on this new phase, travel can be a fantastic way to grow. It might be useful to look at TravelUP reviews for planning any trips you're considering. Discovering new places can offer fresh perspectives and exciting experiences that contribute positively to your journey.

Andrew_Doan
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Joined: 06/13/2011 - 9:37am
Keep moving forward!

Recovery is one step at a time and it's never a straight light. My road to recovery has been a zig-zag.

Thank you for sharing! I hope you have a wonderful day!

Andrew P. Doan, MPH, MD, PhD

My Gaming Addiction Videos on YouTube: YouTube.com/@DrAndrewDoan

*The views expressed are of the author's and do not necessarily reflect the official policy of the U.S. Navy, DHA or Department of Defense.

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