My son is 20 years old. He was attending the local community college and discovered there was a game room. The game room at school has all of the consoles. You show your college I.D. and they let you in to play. 1st semester he got 2 D's and was dropped from the other two classes for non attendance. 2nd semester he was dropped from all 4 classes for non attendance. He lied to us about going to classes. So, I told him college isn't for everyone and he needed a "Plan B". We then went to vesid as he has asperger's so he qualified for help. He is currently waiting to get into a program that will test his strengths and interests and be put in an internship. In the mean time he has been leaving my house every morning at 7:30 am to hangout and play video games. We have no idea where he goes when he leaves the house. At the present time he has been gone 12 hours. He also has type 1 diabetes. He took insulin with him when he left this morning. What type of therapist would you recommend him to go to. He needs serious help. and I don't know where to begin.
Welcome to OLGA Victoria. I am very sorry that you have to go through this. Since my son also is 20, I can relate so much to your hearthache.
I wouldn't have a clue about the therapists in your area. I hope someone local could help you. Is your son willing to go a therapist? If so, it is a good start. My son never wanted to go to one. I think it is important that the therapist acknowledges video gaming addiction.
When they are at this age there is really not much we can do to control them outside our home. Just a question: Does he work and earn enough money to be able to support his gaming habit, such as playing outside, presumable internet cafes, games rooms?? I don't even know whether you need to pay or if it is a free access to the games room at the community college. I guess if he is financially dependent on you, you could stop supporting him financially unless he informs you about where he goes and what he does.
It is a tough situation and my hearth goes out to you. We mums here all suffer due to our children's gaming. No two problems are exactly the same but we understand what you are going through. It would have been so much easier if your son accepted his gaming issues. Hugs!
"The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past. You can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches." "The first step toward change is acceptance." "Once you accept yourself, you open the door to change. That's all you have to do." "Change is not something you do, it's something you allow."- Will Garcia
Hi Victoria
You have made a great start by finding Olg-anon. I felt very disoriented and powerless when I first came to the OLGA website. After a while I got my bearings and members were very helpful. It will help you to read as much as you can on this website to get a better understanding of the issues regarding your son.
You will get a good start by reading the sticky posts in the blue area at the top of the parents forum.
It must be very worrying to have a diabetic son with Aspergers. The worry of him getting sucked into a game and neglecting his medication. My daughter has a diabetic friend at college with who takes risks with her lifestyle. Some young people do not appreciate what irreversible damage can be done or just chose to ignore the possible consequences as having fun in the here and now takes over. From what I have read, gaming addiction is a problem with many Aspies. There was a recent post on here;
http://www.olganon.org/?q=node/44598
As May Light says, some therapists do not think that gaming is an addiction or a problem and may argue that the person should be allowed/encouraged to have game time if that is what they want. Better that you talk to them in advance about their point of view on this and reject them if it likely not to help before your son sees them.
I have been in the position that I no longer wish to enable my adult son to waste his life on the computer. Like your son he is an adult so we're are under no legal obligation to provide him with money, or a place to stay. As I disapprove of his lifestyle then I chose to take away any support (eg financial) that allows him to carry on irresponsibly. He needs to take responsibility for himself. He did not like me informing him of this at all and insisted that we still owed him parental care. It was a rude awakening for him to know that he is going to have to grow up. My husband and I decided to make our home game free and have house rules regarding how he should conduct himself when he is at home. If he did not like them he was told he could leave. We made it clear we thought that gaming was interfering with the good things in his life and making him sick, but we are resigned that he will chose his own path . his decisions are not in our control. As hard as it seems, we will not enable him any longer. If he needs to hit rock bottom when he is in his new place then that is what must be. We will do what we can if he needs help as long as it does not allow him to continue in that negative lifestyle. I hope he does make good, but we need to let him go and not base our own happiness on his achievements.
I truly hope you find the inspiration you need at Olg-anon xxxx
INFO
Help for gamers here
Help for parents of gamers here
Help for spouses/SO's of gamers here
Parent's online meeting THURSDAY 9pmEST/EDT click here
Online meetings gaming addicts click here
Please help! Donate here
Thank you so very much. This post was most helpful.
Glad you found this site, too. I am a parent of a 20 yr old also attending community college with learning challenges and gaming addiction. It is not easy but please know that you are not alone. There are quite a few of us here who walk in similar shoes. Join us for the Thurs. evening parent meeting at 9 pm. Hang in there.
"Legends say that hummingbirds float free of time, carrying our hopes for love, joy and celebration. The hummingbird's delicate grace reminds us that life is rich, beauty is everywhere, every personal connection has meaning and that laughter is life's sweetest creation." taken from Papyrus, Corp.
Hello Victoria7,
I have very little to impart to you at this time but can certainly empathize with your worry and fears in regards to your son as I also have an aspergers son with video game issues.
I have found some articles from the library on gamimg addiction that are pretty disturbing and we plan on sharing with him some of the cliff notes. You might find the same at your local library. I was just reading an article on the design and development of "candy crush" that simple cute little game. It's not a coincidence that's one of the most downloaded games to date. Bringing in $900,000 dollars a day.
You have my sympathy in your struggle.