Family very concerned for brother and son

Hello my name is andrew, 24 years old. My brother, aged 21 is an online gamer, playing wow and another game i dont know the name of religiously. I will give an outline and hsitory of his situation.

Paul started playing online games when he was 16, but already had a fascination with computer games. Each christmas was a different computer. Whilst I played football, he liked games. However, with online games the situation intensified and he is without doubt addicted. He does not come out his room, only to use the bathroom. He has had 1 job, when he worked in a shop for 3 months when he was 18. He has left college after problems with attendance and has declared that he is homeless to the state and that he is staying with a friend in the effort to get a house of his own.

Pauls life has slowly but surely restricted to the size of his bedroom, where the internet is lugged in. His cofidence is at an all time low, although he does not admit this. He is cold with his family. Me and Paul had an argument a number of months ago and he has stopped speaking to me. But recently he has stopped speaking to any members of his family as he feels that he is victimised. We try to speak to him about hsi weight, his efforts, his lack of responsibilty, but he refuses to answer or tells us he wants nothing to do with us anyway. I understand after reading a number of helpful posts on this website that this perhaps has not been the best approach as we have only served to isolate and anger paul. he is an incredibly intense and angry person now and does not like to be spoken to about his life in anyway.

I have read some of the steps but i am unsure, as my mother is about how to proceed. Paul was bullied as a child at school and has indicated suicide in the past. Although at the young age of 7 this alarmed my mother greatly and we are not sure the steps of restricted or indeed removing the internet would be advisable.

I feel personally that the idea of a contract whereby he must fulfill certain obligations or the internet is removed should be attempted. the contract would be that he takes the dogs out 3 times a day for exercise and provide proof that he is applying for jobs on a daily basis, i feel that this is adequate and that he is a 21 year old man who is in a comfort zone and has been for a number of years. i feel that he can do this and that he needs to be shocked out of his comfort zone, for too long he has been allowed to sit in his room and this has come to mean normaility for him.

Paul has indicated recently that he feels his upbringing has had a negative effect on his life. It is true, we have a large family, 3 girls and 2 boys and there were a lot of arguments growing up, but everyone had reached out to him, we are all worried sick, my eldest sister has spoken to him as recently as last night and does so whenever she passes through, i try to chat to him daily but he only speaks when he is abusive

My mother feels that the 'contract' idea this sounds good in theory but whether this works in practice is another matter. she feels, as i do, that paul is full of anger, hurt and sadness. his best friends are people who are in this world of online gaming and he communicates with them all the time, this is his only interraction with the world. he has said that when he leaves this house he wil neve rspeak to hsi family again, he is full of hatred and bitterness. she is concerned about deep vein thrombosis and is also terrified that if we act drastically something bad will happen...

(i feel that paul will use this fear as leverage and that his mental situation is not as bad as my mother thinks and that his staying in that room is worse for his mental state than no action at all)

we have a difference of opinion, my mother does want action but anything direct scares her, and i can understand this

we need help to help our brother and son. is it advisable to take any measures and if so, on the information provided, what would these measures be? perhaps parents who have had a similar problem and have come through (or even failed) may be best to reply, but any help would be welcome, for myself, my mother and our family, but most importantly for paul.