Hi to all, It has been quite sometime since I posted here. I have missed and deprived myself by not coming here. My ds is 22 addicted to WOW and he is currently hospitalized for schizoaffective disorder. He is delusional and they are trying find the right dosage and meds to help him. He currently lives with my parents about 2 hours away with the idea it would get him away from other pot smoking WOW addicts that live close to us. It has seemed to help in that regard but he moved in with gpa and gma in March and this is his 2 hospitalization since. I have come to believe 4 years ago he became a true addict to WOW, losing jobs, not going to school, isolation, etc. Then 2 1/2 years ago the serious mental illness has come to surface. Which right now is extremely real and advanced past the addiction. Yet the ugly addiction even though he hasnt really played too much since March still seems to be his ONLY idea of "relief" from his mental illlness, delusions, manic racing thoughts, homocidal and suicidal thoughts, disorganized thinking, etc. My past 3 visits were spent in the "discussion" of how bad he needs it, how WOW is like any other hobby, blah, blah, all very well thought out "reasons" The psychiatrist and treatment team have totally affirmed that he should not play WOW and my parents have told him that when he gets out they are ready to get him in college full time this semester and start working again. And in 2 months of success they will "discuss" WOW. We have already relayed what the doctor said to them and my mom says ok no games but she seems reluctant to rescind the "2 month" thing and instead just say no when it comes up. 1st - I think even the idea of him getting into school this Fall is not responsible at all for him or them (they will pay what student aid wont cover). When I said this to mom she said "One day at a time" which I know is a great slogan for those of us in this perdicament but to me it rings of more of denial and procrastination. It is July classes start in little over 1 month and he is delusional, thinking he is helping others by letting them kick him to relieve their stress! He knows we will not let him play if he ever wanted to move in with us. Thanks for listening and I relieved and more serene just being here. thanks, person
person
I sure hope you stick around and read the posts. There is a lot of experience, strength and hope here.
The person you are writing about seems to have many problems. Since he's an adult, hopefully he can listen to you and to his treatment team. I think--just my own personal opinion--that his parents are rushing him too fast, trying to make him too well too soon.
Good luck and keep in touch.
Hello, thank you for letting us know what's happening. How are your 18 and 19 year old kids doing? I hope that they are game free. It must be so hard to spend so much time and energy on your 22 year old son. It sounds as though although his grandparents are "keeping him away from the pot smokings WoW gamers that his mental illness and so forth are not making it easy for anyone. At one time you thought that he may be Bi-Polar and now he has this diagnosis...
The fact that he has not only d=suicidal but now homicidal thoughts is really disconcerting, to state it mildly. Your parents are brave people to take their grandson on. I guess the "2 month" thing might be their way of making things bearable with him...are they actually holding this out like a carrot on a stick to him. He might be really repeating a litany of how much he wants to play to them, over and over. If you printed out what you wrote on these boards about your son, your mom might better understand your concern and why you think that he should not play at all.
Classically, an addict like this is often left on their own to "hit bottom" once their loved ones realize that all their arrangements are not affecting the addict in the ways they are hoping it would. Your son is also mentally ill (perhaps) and says things that indicate that he is suicidal and homicidal. And the truth is, not everyone hits bottom and stops their addiction finally. Some die. My brother is still alive, I think, but he no longer contacts us because we have finally stopped all financial support (aside from all his possessions that I have stored for him.)
I hope that your heart can some how find some respite from all of this. There is the organization called Alanon and I think Narcanon and they do provide face to face for people like you and your husband and also your parents. This kind of support is sorely needed. They have meetings for your your younger son and daughter, as well. It must be hard for them and also to see how their older brother's illness and addiction affects you. One organization that helped me with understanding my brother is the National Alliance on Mental Illness.
http://www.nami.org/Content/NavigationMenu/Find_Support/Consumer_Support/Consumer_Support.htm
According to their website, the state of Oklahoma is one of the 6 states that have the best heath services for mental illness in the United States...that is a positive thing.
I hope that things turn around for your son.
Serena
"A person starts to live when he can live outside himself." Albert Einstein
"You don't get to choose how you are going to die. Or when.
You can only decide how you are going to live. Now." Joan Baez