i have known for sometime that my son has a problem. In high school he would stay up all night palying video games with his friends. But all the kids were doing the same thing. He was accepted to a good college and didn't last a year. Then he came home enrolled in community college and after four years still did not graduate we made him get a job. He met a girl they dated for about 5 years. He got a job driving trains, bought a house moved in with the girl. We thought he would be ok. But,all the while he continues to play video games. Well he stopped going to work because he played the games all the time. The girl left him, he's losing his house, his car is probably next. I ask him if he is looking for a job and he lies to me. He doesn't have any friends left. He says his only friends are those that he has online. He came over our house after much arguing because he wasn't eating. He was here for an hour and started getting a massive headache, nauseous, light headed. We made him lay down he slept for hours. Got up and went home to play games again. How do we get him to admit he is addicted to these games. He is now 31 and screwed up his life.
He is my first born and only son. He Is depressed and angry whenever I try to talk to him. I don't know what to do?
Respectfully,
Teatimetmb
Welcome to the forum Teatimetmb
Sosorry for the heartache you are feeling; I relate to that.
We cannot make them see sense. At least we cannot force them by our powers of persuasion
My son would rather say black is white then agree with me to my face. How he thinks in his own mind I do not know.
By trying to force them to accept it as a fact by bringing it up in the conversation it may be counter-productive and bad for your relationship. He will feel guitly by what you say and want to retreat further.
Once he hits rock bottom he will have to change. So it's a waiting game over which you have no control. So for your own sanity you have to detach from the worry of this situation. It's what I did. ALso be sure that you do not enable him to continue in anyway. Such as taking food to his home or giving him money. Don't allow gaming in your own home. But you can still be there for him. Try to talk to him about other things unrelated to gaming.
I found it really helpful to read other parents stories. You could start with the members stories thread in the blue sticky area on the parents forum.
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I am sorry about your heartache.
Did you ever consider emailing him the link to this website and sending him the titles of some of the books written by exgamers or better still mailing him some of these books? You can send him the information and leave it at that. You don't even ask him whether he received it or not. You never know, he may look at them..
I had some success with my son by doing similar. I didn't think he would read the book I left lying around... I thought he would not even read my email with the web address to this site. But he did... I think he knew deep down that he had a problem but didn't want to accept it at the beginning. Reading the posts here and the book written by Dr Andrew Doan, he realized his problem. Please let me know if you want me to send you the list of books which I read and found very useful.
Stay strong. You are not alone! It is the disease of this era and I think it is only going to get worse..Take care!
"The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past. You can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches." "The first step toward change is acceptance." "Once you accept yourself, you open the door to change. That's all you have to do." "Change is not something you do, it's something you allow."- Will Garcia