Our 16 yr old son is addicted to Runescape

Hi,

I am a parent of a 14 year old. You are doing the right thing by taking away his computer. Luckily as parents, we can still do that! I think the next step would be to get counseling for him, since he gets depressed. A counselor may be able to help him refocus on other things that he enjoys outside of gaming. And as parents, it is good you can still set the rules. My kid could stare at Youtube shows about Minecraft all night if I let him, but fortunately he is not addicted or has problems if I make him stop watching. Try counseling and taking the media away from your son. That combination just might do the trick.

Good luck :)

Welcome to OLGA Tiaragirl!

We mothers experienced similar behaviors from our sons as well, so you are not alone. It is a very stressful and difficult time for parents to watch their children waste their lives in front of the screen. What we all realized eventually is that as long as we enable them, they will keep playing. So you are on the right track but if you are worried about his well being please take precautions or do this together with a therapist who believes in internet and gaming addiction. Withdrawal is very common after they stop gaming and it takes few months before they can sort of start feeling better.

There are some routers which you can use and I believe it is very difficult for them to bypass. iBoss is one of them and there are others as well. If you would like us to share the details of our journey please come back and we will be happy to do it. But please stay strong ..It is a good idea to read as many stories here as possible and learn about gaming addiction before you make a plan and stick with it.

When my son was around 16-17, we also cut the internet off and took his computer away for two months. He hasn't spoken a word with us during that time and spent most of his time either in his room or watching TV in the lounge room. We ended up calling a psychologist home because we were very worried about his mental health and possibility of self harm even though he never mentioned anything about self harm. Eventually he bargained with us and convinced us to turn the internet back on and give him his computer back. Him staying silent was one of his manipulation techniques! We gave in and gave his computer back. He made many promises but in a few days it was back to playing games and nothing else... I think turning the internet back on was the biggest mistake we made..From there on 2-3 more years of his life was lost. We should have kept going but we didn't know any better at the time..

We have parents typed chat meeting every Thursday 9pmEST . You are welcome to join in.

All the best!

Here are the withdrawal symptoms:

http://www.olganon.org/?q=game_addiction_withdrawal_symptoms

Welcome Tiaragirl

When our kids get addicted, anything else just seems boring. In time, if they kept away from the game, they will become more their own selves again

I really recommend you read as many threads as you can and make a good plan so that you do not allow gaming in your home.

You have made a good start. Its a long process. We all make mistakes, but learn from them. you are not alone. Please post back any progress or queries. Hugs xx

Welcome Tiaragirl

When our kids get addicted, anything else just seems boring. In time, if they kept away from the game, they will become more their own selves again

I really recommend you read as many threads as you can and make a good plan so that you do not allow gaming in your home.

You have made a good start. Its a long process. We all make mistakes, but learn from them. you are not alone. Please post back any progress or queries. Hugs xx

Hi Tiaragirl,

Runescape was the game that I played for years. The time spent - wasted - on it is something I can relate to. It's not exclusive to Runescape of course, but it's the game I know.

It's an ugly situation. I never had any drive to do anything outside of the game. Also, as you described, I would be very negative toward anyone who tried to interfere with my playing.

While I won't offer advice (because nothing my parents did ever worked for me, and therefore I can't vouch for any successful methods of dealing with this), I could just share my own story.

The reason I quit is because I hit a sort of rock bottom in playing. For some people, rock bottom is the loss of a job or marriage, I was thankfully in neither situation. For me, I took a good hard look at my life, and how it had been going nowhere for years. I was in tears. I didn't have a high school degree, I had no job. What was in the way? Runescape. I didn't hang out much, just smoked weed and slept and played. I had no will to succeed. Why not? Runescape. And some form of depression.

With the help of those who I trusted, I was able to quit, but I needed to have my password changed for me. It wasn't like I was able to walk away from it so easily. A game like that, it's a bottomless pit. The more you invest of yourself inside it, the more it pulls you in. To me it felt like quitting was the ultimate travesty, a betrayal of all the time I had spent. So therefore, I had the terrible urge to play more. I was lucky to have people in my life who were there for me, and this website, as a strong support.

The best of luck to you. I can only imagine what it's like to see your child not living up to his potential.

Hi Tiaragirl,

Runescape was the game that I played for years. The time spent - wasted - on it is something I can relate to. It's not exclusive to Runescape of course, but it's the game I know.

It's an ugly situation. I never had any drive to do anything outside of the game. Also, as you described, I would be very negative toward anyone who tried to interfere with my playing.

While I won't offer advice (because nothing my parents did ever worked for me, and therefore I can't vouch for any successful methods of dealing with this), I could just share my own story.

The reason I quit is because I hit a sort of rock bottom in playing. For some people, rock bottom is the loss of a job or marriage, I was thankfully in neither situation. For me, I took a good hard look at my life, and how it had been going nowhere for years. I was in tears. I didn't have a high school degree, I had no job. What was in the way? Runescape. I didn't hang out much, just smoked weed and slept and played. I had no will to succeed. Why not? Runescape. And some form of depression.

With the help of those who I trusted, I was able to quit, but I needed to have my password changed for me. It wasn't like I was able to walk away from it so easily. A game like that, it's a bottomless pit. The more you invest of yourself inside it, the more it pulls you in. To me it felt like quitting was the ultimate travesty, a betrayal of all the time I had spent. So therefore, I had the terrible urge to play more. I was lucky to have people in my life who were there for me, and this website, as a strong support.

The best of luck to you. I can only imagine what it's like to see your child not living up to his potential.

I have tried to merge 2 similar threads unfortunately a couple of comments were deleted.

My sincere apologies

I have tried to merge 2 similar threads unfortunately a couple of comments were deleted.

My sincere apologies

I just read that Parents like to take away their Teenagers Computers and Phones. I am 16 Years old was addicted to WoW. Here is what went trough my Head when my Mum took away my Monitors. I said to myself that i have to act like i dont care. My Mum will eventually give up anyways. I stayed in Bed most of the time just because i wanted to make my Mum upset enough to give me my Stuff back. I went to a friend after school and played on my WoW Account there. In my Experience taking away the PC or the Internet only makes things worse it didnt help me realise i have a Problem. One thing did though i went to a Psychologist in Real Life one i had sessions with when i was Younger (my dad died when i was 2 years old and he was supposed to be the Dad for me when i grow up. He played with me etc.) I went there after 5 years of not seeing him. The first Session i was crying 45 minutes i told him about all my Problems about my depression about my suicide thoughts. Thats what helped me now a few weeks and sessions later i dont enjoy gaming anymore and want to live again. Maybe you should try that out instead of taking away your Childs Pc it only upsets them makes them angry and they will lay in Bed all day or go play somewhere else.

Greetings Benni

In our family, removal of gaming and devices was important. It helped our son get away from gaming and the Internet. He is now a NCAA Division 1 distance runner going to U of Portland in the Fall. You can watch his short video on on his website:

http://nick-doan.com/

Hi Benni

We all have our own stories about what helps and what doesn't. I'm glad your therapy was helpful to you. You took responsibility for you and that is what counts.

Many of the parents have experienced the rages and tantrums that taking away gaming comes with. We tell parents to expect that. We also tell them to stay strong because sooner or later, the child will have to find something else to do. And it may take months/years.

Parents have also found that some therapists make matters worse or their kids will refuse to go. So what then?

There are no magic answers. A parent has to do what they think is best for their child at the end of the day. We give them strategies that have worked for the parents who have gone before us. Addicts also share their experiences and we all learn from eachother.