Husband plays video games any time he is not at work. He will work 9-5 and then come home say hi for 5 minutes then play video games until 12-1am. We have a 2 year old who he watches occasionally so I am able to work. (I own a small business) and I feel I can't even trust him anymore. He won't play with her, he won't feed her a true meal besides anything he can grab in between game queues, he won't answer her unless she has to repeat herself, and even ignores her bed time and she goes to bed at almost midnight! I'm at my wits end. I feel like he will never grow up.
All of his friends are single or don't have children. They just constantly game. I feel completely neglected and he uses the excuse that he pays the bills so he deserves relaxation. He games more than he works a week. Weekends he games ALLL DAY AND NIGHT.
I have brought up all of these issues and he will continue to argue and say anything that's wrong with me. I will say "who is your priority, your daughter or your games? He will say our daughter and then I ask him to get off the game and he wont. He says his friends rely on him. Today was my breaking point- I have not been able to get anything done all day as our daughter was throwing up constantly. He comes home, immediately does what he always does, and then says he will watch her. She didn't eat anything besides waffles all night. I wound up cooking her dinner while he ignored us. She stopped throwing up about an hour before he got off and was acting fine. He says that she threw up earlier that evening and he immediately goes back and plays games and doesn't even get me. Says he has to finish his 2 hour game before he can't help with bedtime routine or cook her food. He does not care about us. I feel like I married a man child and I'm just so angry. Even if I left him I can't trust that he would care for her if I wasn't there. I am always babysitting him.
He won't wake up for work because he is constantly tired from video games. I feel like I am a mother of a teenager. It disgusts me. He refuses to wake up before noon on the weekends and if he says he will wake up he will pretend to stay awake and immediately fall asleep and leave her alone. I never get to sleep in because i can't trust him.
sorry for the rambling I just need help. My daughter needs her father. I don't want him to finally grow up and miss out on all of her amazing personality and life with us.
Wecome KK
I am so sorry to hear about your struggles. He sounds like he is addicted, but it goes with the addiction that they cannot see the harm they are doing. its called DENIAL and you can't discuss logical stuff with them, they will argue different and you will end up thinking you are the mad one
I compiled a first aid kit for spouses; there is a link in my signature. It has the experiences of spouses like you and what they did.
YOu are right; you cannot trust him to care for his child. In the kit read the thread about how other addicts neglected their kids too. i find it heartbreaking whenever I read it
There is a thread about communication with the gamer; but it may not work for you.
Read all the linked threads; how to get support, how to stop enabling (you are- we all do it!), setting boundaries, detaching with love, whether to stay or go etc etc
At the end of the day, he will need a prestty serious wake up call in the form of consequences to wake up from this addiction. Even if he wants to, it can be difficult to recover with the best will in the world. Recover is possible through abstinence allowing the brain the heal and readjust. But they have got to want to do it for themselves.
The onlly person you can control is you. So think what you can do to honour yourself.
I hope this helps you
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