It's only been 7 days since I made up my mind to leave the game I was attached too. In that time I've had ups and downs (my entire weekend was sad) but yesterday I woke up with this determination to move forward and it worked. I was more focused and productive. I started the forgiving process. Forgiving myself, and the people I met along the way in the game. Letting go and freeing up my heart and mind. I started thinking like that and my urge to care so much about my avi declined.
I did log on into my account (the one that I couldnt come to delete) and I felt...NOTHING. I was disconnected from her. I didn't dress or change her. I didn't care. I was numb and a bit negative toward the people there that I now pray for. I didn't want to chat or go out or do anything with her. And a week ago I said I couldnt come to delete her.
Well she is now scheduled for deletion. I have no reason to return there and waste time doing nothing. I don't welcome any new friendships, relationships, NOTHING! I'm disgusted and sick to the stomach to be there.
I've taken the time to get back into reading. Keeping myself busy best I can. I feel empty in SL. I don't wan't to end up being there constanlty to have that empty feeling in RL. There is no reason for me to continue. My main avi, the one I was so in love with, can't even keep me there. Seeing her did nothing for me. NOTHING. Deleting her was my biggest challenge and I'm ok with letting it all go.
FREE
GRATS on 7 days!!! that's awesome.
I remember very well my first few days out of game. It was both frightening and wonderful.
Good for you!
Congratulations, that's a LOT of work to have done in a week!
Twelve miles into the forest, 12 miles out.
Left my poisonous game July 4, 2012. Left online communities June 4, 2013.
That scares me because I know form some it took longer. I think the main reason is because I have no one to be with there. The last months was speant with somoeone I was close to. I don't have ther energy to even attept to invest in something new there. Bad taste. I'm going to continue to come here because I know the future is not rosey and there are still some things I will be working on. Thanks to everyone here for your kind words!
My experience was similar to yours: once the lightswitch was flipped and my eyes opened, there wasn't anything to go back to.
Twelve miles into the forest, 12 miles out.
Left my poisonous game July 4, 2012. Left online communities June 4, 2013.
Congratulations, MsEx on one week of game-free life! It's great that you don't feel any sort of desire to go back into the game. Enjoy it while it lasts. I too had those feelings and then, out of the blue I'd get very strong urges to game again. But the worst would be an evening where I was just bored and wasting time on the computer and sort of just meander back into a game, not really thinking too much about it. That addict brain is insidious and, just when you think you're out of danger, he'll sneak in and draw you back into that game.
Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending. ~Maria Robinson
I'm not letting my guard down Tabby! I know those urges are not gone and they will come. I fear it will come in a state when I am upset and feeling down. Where I will need to escape. But I'm not going to worry about if or when that day comes. I'm going to make it where I more to turn to instead of logging on the game. Hugs
Oh I had urges like mad those first few days, and several times during the coming months. But it does get better and better. I just take it one day at a time; and sometimes, if needed, I take it minute by minute.
I keep the triggers at a minimum: I don't watch commercials; don't go to gaming websites and just look, don't talk to my ex-gaming friends, don't have any games on the computer, even so-called innocent ones like Spider or Solitaire, dont' play board games or card games (this works for me, others here like board games playing with their kids; no hard and fast rule on this, whatever works for us individually), don't focus on games--focus on recovery, if I have an urge or gaming "snapshots" come up, I get here and post something about recovery, and I try to get to meetings everynight.
(Lately haven't been to meetings as my stepdaughter is visiting. I love her a lot and she's only down for a few days, so I'm spending time with her).
I still have urges occasionally: my biggest excuse is "I'm retired and stuck home with disabled husband, why can't I game, who really cares?" well I do care a lot and when I remember what gaming was like for me, how it made my life stressed out and miserable, with little sleep, and no chance for a support group, I stop thinking of the game and think about the new joys in my life.
You're doing great, MsEx!
Acceptance. When I am disturbed, it is because a person, place, thing, or situation is unacceptable to me. I find no serenity until I accept my life as being exactly the way it is meant to be. Nothing happens in God’s world by mistake. Acknowledge the problem, but live the solution!
congrats on 7 days!
As time goes on, withdrawals subside... and eventually pass away. Keep at it, you're worth it.
What you feed grows, and what you starve withers away.