Hi folks
It's been a rough time since I last logged in. I used to roll around these boards under the guise of cnjayjay and have now finally defeated my shame sufficiently to make this known. My full story and records of my pain can be found there.
This is a more positive update on balance. I destroyed my xbox 360 last June, meaning I am now 18 months free of owning my own games. I sold off every single one of my other games - those I could not sell were destroyed also.
I have been through it all in the past year and a half. Tumultuous rage, unexplained mood outbursts, and itchy fingers moving toward re-purchase of a new machine. 2012 has flown by however and I am glad to say that the symptoms have dampened entirely. Sometimes weeks will go by without a though as to my old life (with the exception of regret).
In the time that I would sit and play 10 hours of gears of war before, I am now working, studying and taking extended cross country runs. My mind has healed, my eyes are now shining and my body is fittening up again. I "waste" weekends in the garden, growing vegetables before coming in to my wife as the sun goes down and enjoying a hearty roast, drinks with friends and films/tv programmes.
I barely miss my old life. There is the odd pang of wistful recollection, otherwise I am moving forward. I've become a stronger, harder person and have gotten back my life. I've even discovered talents that I never knew I had!
Still baby steps for now, one day at a time, however I have everyone here to thank for my progress. Truly, you are all a gift to each and every one of us who desperately seeks help in the dark thralls of addiction.
Jay
Clean of my video game addiction since June 2011.
I failed my Wife, my Family and everyone who has ever supported me before. I spurned, I avoided and I dug deeper in my shame until I finally admitted to myself - "I cannot do this without the help of a higher power".
I commit myself to never picking up a videogame again and to supporting all recovering addicts and their affected loved ones in any way I can, whether through advice I can offer or simply through my story.
Great update, Jay. You're a beacon in dark times.
Taking Steps toward recovery since November 2, 2012. The difficulty of the path makes it worth the walking.
18 months. Very impressive!