*This topic has been a *Sticky* under All About OLGA/OLG-Anon (Start Here) for a while now. I placed it as a new thread here since I felt it had a bit to do with Personal Progress.*
Hey there folks
This is a wonderful place, with many people taking their first steps in making great changes in their lifestyle; they're trying to drop the gaming habit. Of course, an unfortunate inevitable is that the temptation to start gaming again usually creeps into your head at some point. Since what might trigger these impulses is different for every person, the suggestions that follow might need to be tweaked a bit to match your personal situation. Following the main theme of this section of the boards, these are a few of the steps that I've taken to try and curb the urge.
A lot of us here share a somewhat similar beginning to our tales where our child/young-adulthood was filled with computer exposure and game playing to some degree. Gaming has been a part of our lives for so long and a central role in how we obtain our entertainment that after we quit, the brain doesn't know what to do. It just wants to know where its happiness has gone, and when we're sitting around watching the paint dry it'll remind us of the fun we could be having if we'd just step online for a few minutes.
Boredom as a key factor in relapse has been pointed out by many members of this forum. You're bored; that's a killer. Even while our lives crashed around us, we were euphoric while we were inside our game. Our brains hold onto that feeling and remind us when we're sitting around with nothing to do; Think about how much fun it would be to download the free trial to mmorpg Uoex and play. This is compounded by the fact (which most mmorpg players agree with I believe) that the first dozen or so levels of a new mmorpg are usually the most entertaining. Everything is new, all the races and classes, and there is so much to explore.
It gets stuck in your head. This moment is pivotal since our decision in the next few minutes is what will decide rather we spend the next few hours gaming before we catch ourselves, or we walk (mentally) away.
I admit, since I stopped gaming there have been occasional lapses, the most recent being this last Christmas break when I had 3 weeks off from school and was sitting around waiting for classes to start in January. I fell into an odd cycle for a few days. I would download something (there is unfortunately, a plethora of free mmorpg/fps/strategy games out there to download) and play for a few hours. By the end of the night the thoughts in the back of my head of how this was just 'time wasted' would catch up to me, and I'd uninstall and delete. A few days would pass, thoughts would creep in, I'd succumb to the urge and the cycle would repeat.
The thought (I hesitate to use the word 'excuse') I kept telling myself was that I am different now. There is no way I'm going to fall back into the pit I was in before, so what harm can come of this, right? I'm just killing time until school starts. I wouldn't feel completely dejected after these incidents since I wasn't really scared; I knew that I was far enough away from where I'd been that a complete relapse to my previous state really wasn't possible but it got me thinking about how to curb the urges. This is tough. When you're trying to kick the thoughts of gaming out of your head, it's hard to try and substitute it with something mundane like reading a book or going for a run. If there's no desire in your mind to do these things, they're not going to stick. When the urge has you, you're fighting a bit of an uphill battle already, so the time to try and fix the problem isn't when you're clenching the armrests of your office chair trying not to grab the mouse, it's right now when you don't have a desire (hopefully! ) to start gaming.
I figured that once school started again for me (which is did on Jan. 9th), the urge to game again would subside, as it always had during previous quarters. Not so surprisingly, the urge came up, and it was (is) the 3rd week into the school quarter. This scared me because I don't want to have another temporary lapse of 'one harmless day' when mid-terms are around the corner. I took the following step:
I opened up a new Word Document and labeled the top 'Reasons NOT to GAME'. Underneath I bulleted a dozen or so reasons that I felt were the most important reasons for why I myself shouldn't game. The hope is that if the urge to game rises again, reading this list will quell the desire. Once the list was complete, I copied/pasted it into the basic Paint program that all Windows installations come with, saved it as a .bmp, and centered it as the background on my desktop.
This is what I meant above by something you have to do when you don't have the desire to game already on the mind. When you're fighting not to run to your computer, your mind is usually in no position to be creative and start brainstorming ideas of why this might be a 'bad thing' for you. The best time to create this list is when you're clear headed, and you can rationally think of what the consequences of what you lapsing into gaming again would be. This is also the part I mentioned at the beginning where you have to look inside for the reasons personal to yourself, the ones that truly mean the most to you, for why you shouldn't game.
Recovering gamers; have you gone through an episode similar to this where you game for a night or two, then uninstall and delete the game from your computer? Remember how you felt right after you deleted the game? How at that moment you had (IaEU(tm)m guessing since this is how I felt) absolutely zero desire to game? This is the feeling I'm trying to get you to channel with this list. That utter non-desire to game, because you know of the possibilities of what it could do. I want all those feelings' minus self-loathing, and depression that may be present at such a time. Don't make yourself feel bad, that doesn't help.
How you create this list is, of course, completely at your discretion. I'd suggest trying not to be too over the top dramatic with what the ****able consequences of gaming are for you since making yourself feel guilty doesn't help at all. Also, try to be concise. If this is what you're staring at while fighting the urge to Install a game, or click your a Internet Explorer/Netscape/Firefox icon, you don't want to sit there reading long sentences of rationalization.
For some of you, putting this as the background on your computer might not seem the best idea. Having the 'last line of defense' be your computer's desktop background seems like you're starting the 'defense' process a little late if you're already sitting at your computer. I agree, and if it's more comfortable for you to print this list out and place it somewhere prominent in your house, (taped down right next to your mouse-pad for instance) it's up to you. I was a bit too shy to do that (also I don't own a printer), and I know that to get to my games, I have to sit here at my computer and stare at that list. I haven't had a chance to test it yet, but I'm hoping it works.
As a focus for this thread, I'm fishing for people's antidotes for how they cure their desire to game when it creeps up. For instance (slightly joking), does anyone know of any nifty programs that will block you from accessing certain websites (If I could block a dozen or so key websites I know the physical possibility of my gaming again would be diminished if I couldn't actually download the game; Fileplanet etc.) and the only way for you to bypass this block is for you to enter a long password that you yourself creates? The password would of course be something along the lines of, You realize you')re typing this so you can download games, right?
Hope this helps.
- Max
Oh, one thing I think most people could safely add to their 'Why not to Game' list. This is the last bulleted item on my list:
Ask yourself, Do I need to have the computer turned on right now? If the answer is no TURN OFF YOUR COMPUTER
Edited by: Auriex at: 1/28/06 3:28
EFT www.emofree.com works for me like a charm. I have had no desire to game since I applied it for about 30 minutes each on 2 consecutive days.
I will want to do this for reading up on games and sweets, but I am too weak willed right now to do it, as I know it will work
Going for a walk is great, and Aelwyn1964 gave me the very helpful suggestion of talking to myself in 3rd person about some issues.
The problem is that I almost always know what is good for me but often do not have the will to pull ith through, and talking to myself, and giving myself suggestions, as if I would give them to other people, seems to work very well in helping me to follow my own good advice.
Maxim
"Live without dead time" Guy Debord
I did'nt read the whole post. I can say I am kinda of lucky because in my game of choice, eve online it take two years to skill up a character and first levels are boring to death so I wont ever be going tru a 3rd skilled character in this game (ditched 3 skilled characters in attempts to quit the game).
Where I can totally relay is the temptation of trying a new mmorg on a 14 days trial. These are popping up every year.
This is where I think you need to share alot and help other gamer addicts to remind you where you came from and what lenght you went to keep clean and how fufilling your life has becomed today free of games.
Helping others while helping yourself.
I really think I will start a french chapter of OLGA in Quebec for french speaking peeps who need help. Montreal doesent have a chapter neither in french or english. Doing so will keep me buzy anyway.
Quote:I really think I will start a french chapter of OLGA in Quebec for french speaking peeps who need help. Montreal doesent have a chapter neither in french or english. Doing so will keep me buzy anyway.
Philippe, this sounds very interesting and promising.
Maybe we could incorporate a french speaking forum here, or would you like to have your own? Would like to know your ideas.
I could help moderate a german, russian and maybe spanish forum, though there will certainly be better spanish speaking people on this site than me.
Addiction/behavioural affectation by gaming is not limited to english speaking people, so we might as well start to go international.
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What you think, you create. What you say, you produce. What you do, you call forth more of.
I am in the first state of recovery.
It would help shure if there was a french section if this was possible.
I met a guy who had an addiction problems to games where I work, I've crossed french guys who had major problems with gaming.
Thanks for the offer.
I am in touch with local healf services here in quebec and if there was a french forum it would get proper publicity and peeps could even be redirected in the forum.
Alot of stuff and literature I found here need to be translated but that I can help. Will occupy my spare time and I need to stay put because I am still really hyper at moments of the day and pretty shure this come from excessive gaming.
Anyway it's sketchy but in the works because I dont want to get into gaming it's over for me.
Helping other will keep clean of games. Sharing the sheer suffering of a gamer that get out of is nightmare just reinforces this will of mine that:
a) i am not alone in my condition
b) it can be done
c) i have place to share my burdens and hardship of the withdrals symptoms of gaming
I tryed last year to quit after alcool rehab, and from june to october I was out but I failed to get into regular activeties and boredom, daily life stress, hardships of life kicked in. Started smoking again, then isolated at home, started gaming again and finally boose came back in the picture.
So, lets start this all over again.
I feel better then yesterday and probably less then tomorrow.
My glass is not half empty but half full.
I am willing to go any lenght to get out and staying out of gaming.
Philippe gaming addict
Wish you a good day away from games
Calm force said:
"Maybe we could incorporate a french speaking forum here, or would you like to have your own? Would like to know your ideas."
I've posted this 2 days ago and it is still fresh in my mind but a french forum or a french section in this forum would be nice.
I dont want to have something going on that would have loose ties to OLGA.
But to help me keep out of games I need to help others. I already know I am a gamer addict and have no troubles with that so this is my first step done right there.
That my life has become unmanagable tru gaming is the least to say.
I am doing my inventory slowly.
I would need a sponsor in the group and have a formal intention to attend the weekly OLGA meeting.
There are alot of gamers struggling to get out of gaming in Quebec. Quebec is good lauching ramp for france and Belgium where gaming is doing it's ravages too.
The link would have to be tracable in french google and yahoo.
And the link would need to lead directly to the main forum or the french section.
We would need to translate all the litterature of OLGA in french. We would need also to get ourselves a litterature review of the effects of MMORGS in french either translated from the material OLGA already has or reviewing on the web and elsewhere any professional, spychological and medical litterature on the subject of gaming and gaming addictions.
For translating stuff I can do some, but my french is not perfect and sometime I make mistakes I would need somebody to review the translated texts for spellings errors and such.
French is hard even for frenchs
I am a total newbie to php, nuke appache html programming so either someone does it for me or coaches me up.
Hmmmm meditate on the first option...
Will wait for some Ideas from the admins on this.
Phil gamer addict
The admins have already decided that it is a great idea:
p198.ezboard.com/folgafrm35
I am not sure how to do it that the french forum is searcheable under google, but for now, if any of your friends or aquaintainces come along, you have a place where to talk.
Translating the materials: they do not have to be perfect, so if you have time, translate the ones which you yourself find important, and the rest will slowly be done by a growing community.
For now, I think you are the best french speaking guy here, so promoting the french forum falls on your shoulders.
In the middle to long term, I think it should be possible to get a link on the website done, maybe a french subsection of the website.
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What you think, you create. What you say, you produce. What you do, you call forth more of.