Gratulations to all

Hello dear ppl.

I havent been really active on these forums, but I am very active in a RL program and I also attend GA meetings on every chance I get, minimum 1 time per week if not 2.
I work a recovery program for gamblers since there is no actually great program for gamers in Sweden. It has worked very great for me so far and I have almost 10 months in the program now.

I come here on occasions, not very often but sometimes when I feel like writing and getting something out of my system, since my head wants me to play WoW and I need a PC to do so, I try and not use PCs more then nessecary.

It has beed an awful ride up the hill, I thinkthe first month was the easiest when I look back. I live with the other of my 2 children since 9 years and I have damaged her very hard in my sickness.
Im not a gamers addict, Im an addict to anything that can ocupy my mind and keep me from thinking of anything else, so working, exercise, learning, new tradeskills, whatever is something that could get me hooked again and I try to think of this in whatever I do in my life.

The fact that I went really far down when playing WoW ws the fact it shows, I cant go to work and do this at the sametime, so ppl around me notice and I loose focus in all other things I "need" to do.
Washing, cleaning etc .... "I do it in 30 mins, I do it in 1 hour, I promise, I do it in 15 mins, I mean it this time" etc etc.
I promised myself so much and for so long that I eventually stoped promising even myself in the end.
But what I wanted to say was that not only I went and got professional help, so did my wife. It has been so much struggle and I really understood all the ppl aroundme in the same program that left their current relationship because it was too hard to both recover and deal with the constant echoing of what they done and how could they etc etc.
It hasnt been easy for me neither, I promise that I thought atleast 30 times that I wished she would leave me, so I could get out of hearing all the crap I put this family thru, but I didnt, and here is what I did insteaed;

When my wife got mad, I told her "Im sorry"
She said for what, I said" for all the wrong things I done"
when she screamed at me, I said with a calm voice " I love you and I understand why you are so dissapointed in me, I love you so much and I can never thank you enough for staying thru this my love"
When she said I did this and that, I said " Yes I did and I can never undo those things, I can only show you that I love you for the rest of our lifes and make sure our children from this day on knows they are most imprtant for me and always listen, show interrest in what they do and help them any way tat I can.

things likethis took me where I am now, we argued almost everyday for 7 months, the last 2 months has been a true paradise and I know why, its because my wife has gotten all the help she needs, but mostimprotantly, because I have done what I should, give love and getlove back, give ffection and get affection back, speak the truth and recieve the truth and respect you deserve.
I have been the man I always wanted to be and I feel better then I ever done.
Im tired in my whole body when I go to bed, not in my mind.
I always know what to say, cuz I dont have to think before I speak since there is no lie to hide.
Im always happy when I coe home cuz there is nothing that Im afraid my wife has found while I been gone.
I have energy and I can say It has been along time since I slept and woke up really rested, I always dremt about what I wanted to odo tomorrow in WoW or whatever project I had going.
there is alot of things that has imroved in this short time, but I know there are alot coming.
These are the rewards we recive when we work the program and the we listen to what others have followed and done before us.

I belive it is a great part of success that ppl understands what the program is and not just read the twelve steps, admit you are an addict and then stay clean ...your mind will still be away from you and its a fight everyday to stay away.
get to know yourself in the progress, your childhood or whatever that is missing, be true to yourself, admit to yourself all wrong you have done be humble, use the 12 steps in everything you do, this is not only or addicts, this is actually something all ppl shoud do and get to know, I promise the world would be a much more humble and loving/caring place to be in.

I have 100000000 great things to say, but I choose to tell them to ppl around me, it is not because OLGA isnt great place, but because I have spent enough time here for today and I wanna go out with m family and catch some fresh air and sun in my face.

I wish you all a great day, wonderful weekend and a truly loving life. Thank you for reading my thoughts and feelings and thank you for coming here.

Yours sincerelly