Happy Holidays

I won't be around for a while because I am going to the land of dial up for a couple of weeks and don't have the patience for turtle speed internet. I'd like to say Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to everybody here and wish you all the best for the New Year.

If anybody is wondering how my battle against gaming addiction is going, I must say that all in all it's going well. I got a subscription to my old game for my daughter because her friend started playing, and they play together while they talk on the phone. For her it's a social thing and she is in no danger of becoming a preteen game addict, thank goodness. Her self-esteem is miles away from being affected by anything in the game.

As a (perhaps rather risky) experiment, I created a character to see how I'd react. I was pretty sure that I had my addiction licked and so far that's proven to be the case. My husband was away for 3 weeks recently. I was feeling quite bored and lonely so I called one of my old friends, and we hooked up in the game. Even then, I barely played, and much preferred to cuddle up in bed with a book. I still have a character, but I rarely have the time or the inclination to play it. By rarely, I mean less than once a week, probably not even 3 times a month.

What made the difference for me is working on the depression and anxiety that were the underlying cause of my gaming addiction. I wasn't even aware that I was suffering from depression until I quit gaming. The anxiety I had felt was under control, but once I quit I learned that was far from true. I worked very dilligently for months to learn how to manage my depression and anxiety.

One of the important things that I did learn about myself was that I needed to get out of the house and into the world. I got a job. I bought myself my first ever factory ordered brand spanking new car and made a commitment to pay for it myself. Even though my job is pretty menial, I get a real sense of satisfaction from it.

I still have to work at my depression and anxiety. I will probably have to be vigilant my whole life against a relapse. One of the strongest warning signs that I will have is the return of the urge to game. I know now that it is a symptom of a deeper problem. I wouldn't advise anyone to return to gaming until they have a complete understanding of what led them to gaming addiction. That means cutting the game out of your life entirely for at least a month.

In my case, it took at least a month for me to start to reconnect with the world. It was much, much easier for me to sort out what was going on in my head without having the residual mental garbage from gaming floating around in there. It was a lot easier to sort out my feelings without all the shame and guilt from the missed appointments, messy house, fast food meals, etc. My head is much clearer now than it was even before I started gaming.

I turned to gaming to help me through a tough time but it turned out to be much more of a hindrance than a help. Now I can see my game for what it is, a game.

Cheers,

-Jackie