Jesus, i was about to fall... i made a huge mistake today. i was curious and on the website i saw the profile of the guy i was involved in the game, he got married with his partner... i read his profile a lot of times and i wanted to see the pictures so i downloaded the game... but in the middle of the installation i stopped, i can't throw into the garbage all my work...
I'm nervous, i don't want this happen again... and the worst part is i can't cry... but i'm so sad about this.
Mubb
Hi mubb.
First I must say that I find it incredibly cool that you stopped the installation.
Now I will write something that I think that is going on, but keep in mind, I could be completely wrong :-), so sorry if I misinterpreted things. Just trying to help. Here goes:
What I suspect is that you are now a little bit anxious or hyper or whatever you like to call it. I guess thats the case, because I was very much like that in those situations, doing an install and all.. made me very tense. When I am tense I tend to not think straight, so.. I would suggest to go out of the house, take a walk, maybe go to the swimming pool to take a swim. Point is to try to get that tension out of your system. Get physical! :-)
Hope that was of some use ;-) take care.
Johnny.
"I want to see people and I want to see life."
Thank you so much Steele, yes i'm extremelly anxious for what i read and i better get off my house right now... or else i'm gonna lose my mind, really.
If you are now out of the house doing stuff :-) then my hat is of to you. You know why? Because it is so much more easy to give advice (what I did) then to actually do it (what you are doing).
Hope the anxiousness is taken away from you.
"I want to see people and I want to see life."
mubb, you are stronger than you think. Look what you did. Yes, maybe you started the download, but you realized what you were doing and stopped it. This is a good thing. It shows that you can recognize when you're heading in the wrong direction and turn around.
What I'm wondering, though, is why were you on that website in the first place? I would suggest that you make this website off limits to yourself. That way this can't happen again. I've made all gaming webstites off limits to myself. I know that all they do is cause me to want to game so why do that to myself....
*hugs*
Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending. ~Maria Robinson
oohhhh mubb!!! I can FEEL your anxiety!! In fact, I've been feeling it through your writing all this week so far deary, and you have found a 'trigger' I think? Yes?
It is DEF. the website, for me!! At first I was just 'looking' at it... then I started dwelling on it and found myself unable to resist even looking at it! I resolved that it wasn't the game itself, rather ONLY the website.. that's ok.. right? WRONG = trigger!!
Then I got the email that my account had been reactivated, and although I am steadfast in my resolve not to game, my curiosity overcame me!! I kept looking and looking and looking... never really being satisfied with the teensy information ... and was SO tempted to do exactly what you were doing!! Just. To. See.
I'm impressed you were able to stop yourself mid-way, honestly. I don't know if I could have shaken the anxiety without satisfying my ultimate curiosity in the midst of a download!! Whooaaaaaa!!
So let me just tell you how I have been dealing with this curiosity and all the anxiety over the 'not knowing what's happening in the GAME". YOu do have to take action on this one and like Steele said.. physical action is a GREAT alternate 'escape'. I have to also work my mind. I mean, physical activity helps.. right? But... you are still curious afterward.. right? Maybe less anxious, but if you're like me.. still curious. The ONLY thing that helps me is to play out the scene in my head: "Ok.. I'll just log in and go see ... so and so" I imagine it... then ask myself "what does it accomplish?". Nada.
Stopping yourself was excellent for you mubb, and now I think you need to do some action with your mind and convince yourself about the outcome of you 'falling down'. What will you accomplish? Will you feel better having your curiosity satisfied? Or.. having a right tantrum on the virtual toons in the game? Will it make you feel better to catch another glimpse of his toon, now... ALLREADY partnered with some other toon?
You have come this far my friend and thank goodness you were able to stop yourself because I see this as a very slippery slippery slope. How about trying today without looking at the website? I'm doing that finally.. and two days solid without a reminder is helping.
You know I'm here for you mubb!!! And, if you DO fall down.. I'm here even more!
XOXMaud
I am recovering from a gaming addiction, which has robbed me of my actual life for the past year or so. Presently on a fairly annoying emotional roller coaster and not to be taken too seriously ;)
Thank you thank you for your comments
Steele, i actually left my home and went to the gym almost jumping with my mp3 on my ears, listening my music... i did my routine, the routine of two days!!!, after that i came home, took a shower and i'm feeling better.
Silvertabby, i was there because i was thinking and thinking about him... since i got that last message from him i'm having ups and downs... but those last days the downs were often and even when i tried to avoid them i couldn't. Today was my higest point and i saw his profile... which is something weird because in the past (when i was in the game) i tried to see it with no luck which makes me think that he put his profile available to see it from outside the game... one more reason for not letting him win this one!!!.
Maud!!!... you're so right, my curiosity almost made me fall and yes is something that it won't go away even after all the excercise... and no, of course i won't feel well after feed my curiosity and that actually made me stop the installation... while i was doing it i thought for my self "after that what's next?... your work all into the garbage, good job!!! and all for him"... this is when i stopped and went here... nothing related to his toon and to his toon partner will change after feed my curiosity... but for me would be devastating.
He is my trigger, and my friend told me the same just yesterday... i'm downloading now a filter to the website and not look at it anymore...
Thank you again, without you i think i couldn't make it...
Kudos Mubb,
I had several huge relapses before I finally quit. And each time it was curiosity and even anxiety about what was going on in the game which caused the relapse. I just couldnt get it out of my head.
I cant exactly remember how I did it but the final time I quit I was able to somehow put the game, my ingame friends, and all that was going on there 24/7 in some place where my mind didnt go. I dont remember exactly how I did it. All I can remember is praying that God would look after those still in game. I guess I let go and Let God. I was able to give it up, and have not to this day gone back.
Somehow I was able to take those people (and yes virtual lovers too) and put them out of my life completely. I hope and pray you are able to do the same.
- pete
Hi Dark
I took your advice and i prayed not only for him but for all the people there... i'm gonna do it for a while everytime i'm feeling anxious...
I just sign up in a yoga class today... i hope that this help me to get through this situation... tomorrow i'll start :D
Thanks you for your advice
good for you mubb, keep it up with the open sharing, and the good new:)))
leveling in steps, serenity, sponcys, sponsors, exercise, and sleep, (sanity has been downsized) sober from all electronic games since 11/19/2010
One day at a time mubb. *hugs*
"Take what you need and leave the rest." I got nothing but moments to live.