Hey guys so it's been close to a month now and so far so good, I get the odd urge every now and again but it's usually fine. Although tonight I got it into my head that I would re-subscribe to runescape thinking "I can limit the amount of time I play", when I got access to the computer and looked up an old forum I used to be a part of related to the game I stopped, there would have been no way to stop if I had re-subscribed, I wouldn't have been able to limit the amount of time I play that was just the addiction talking.
Thats primarilly the reason I came on here tonight to remind myself that I cannot give in to temtation regardless how strong it is otherwise I would send my life back into a game obsessed spiral, put on more weight and ruin my life even further.
As for my life currently, I have decided that I am definately dropping out of college at the end of a year to pursue a career in the aviation industry (even if I am afraid of flying!!! haha) and have applied to the aviation accademy at leeds bradford airport, Ideally I would love to become an air traffic controller but that would be a hard career to get into, and as one of the heads of the course said its a "dead mans shoes" situation, although one can always hope. I'm hoping that if I get in this will be an oppertunity to make a fresh start as at the moment I feel overwhelmed with college and I know i'm going to fail regardless, I have missed far too many lessons to be able to catch up and have accepted that the outcome however bad it may be will be a direct result of my gaming and another reminder of why I cannot go back. I'm looking forward to getting good grades, finishing my coursework and enjoying the course itself rather than just going because I felt I had to. The only thing i'm worried about other than college is that if the aviation accademy asks me about my poor attendance, if they do I think I'm just going to be honest with them, lies are not a good option anymore and only prolong the time until the situation arises, better to sort it then and there.
With my mum I feel that she understands now as well as my dad (to an extent though, I don't think he truly realised what a problem my gaming was). I help out around the house now much more, and my mum will usually leave me a list of things she would like doing if I'm home which I'm trying to do allthough I still at times struggle with motivation to do things but it's getitng better thats for sure, I'd like to think that when september comes and I possibly enroll at the aviation accademy I will have the willpower to be able to sit down and finish a piece of coursework. I do occasionally still get mood swings, and I don't think my mum knows these are a result of the addiction.
I also sold my computer and used the funds to buy a new guitar, I'm glad I did this as when I think about upcoming massive mmo's I know that I won't be able to play them regardless. Although I am getting my xbox fixed this is purely so I can watch films on it and talk to my best friend, as this is our main method of communication as we live far-ish apart.
I've also recently started growing some hot hot hot chillis as a small side hobby and am hoping to have some ready by the end of summer (bring on the curries!).
Apologies for the wall of post I just felt I needed to come on here whilst the urge to play passed, thankyou to the people who run this site and its member without you i don't think I would have been able to quit and my life might have gotten considerably worse.
Also has anyone found that after they quit they felt like they might not have been addicted? I've felt like this for the last few days and only realised when it was nearly too late how wrong I was.
Cheers Everyone and thanks =)
Game free since 13th March 2012
Great job! and congrats! :)
Yes, often. One of the addict brain's sly attempts to have its way again.
Acceptance. When I am disturbed, it is because a person, place, thing, or situation is unacceptable to me. I find no serenity until I accept my life as being exactly the way it is meant to be. Nothing happens in God’s world by mistake. Acknowledge the problem, but live the solution!
I had a year of sobriety from gaming, and then I began to have the following thoughts:
"You have recovery in a different 12 step program. Maybe this gaming thing was just a bad habit."
"You're really tired, and need a way to relax."
"Remember how much fun gaming used to be?"
"You could handle it this time. Just give it a try, and if it doesn't work you can always quit."
This lead to a year of relapsing with games, strugging to quit, then finally coming back to OLGA. This time, I got a sponsor, which I didn't do the first time around.
It has been almost 5 weeks for me and I still go through the thoughts that I was not addicted and have to remind myself just how much time I spent playing my games.
Not to give you a hard time, but did you get rid of your xbox games ? I finally did, but I was afraid to go near them before yesterday.
As addicts we are experts at denial. I can give you so many reasons why my addiction was not a big deal: "I can't do anything productive anyway since I am too tired when I get home" "I have do something for fun" "There are millions of gamers with happy productive lives" "More and more people are gaming around the world" "They are gamifying everything, I might as well do the real thing" "After I finish this collection of quests I will take a break to do chores" ...
In the end, it stops you from living your life and you still can't stop doing it, and you realize you have a problem.
Remember the exact time when you realized you had a problem. Remember all the details of the situation. Remember the desperation. Don't just remember the good times and stop the movie. Play it through to the end.
Perhaps a man who is worthy of the name should put aside this question of how long he will live ..., and turn his attention to this instead, to how he can live the best life possible in the time that is granted to him
Marcus Aurelius
Alex-
Great job on making it so far. You goals of aviation school are very positive.
I would just like to suggest one thing before you commit to dropping out of college. It may indeed be true that you have missed too much school to make up your grades this semester. However, I would encourage you to talk to the school counselor in private. Although many people do not accept game addiction as a real problem (yet), it may be possible that your school councellor will listen to your situation and give you an exception. It is within the power of your school to grant you academic probation or grant you extenuating circumstances and freeze the classes you are currently taking. You may be able to drop your problem classes without penalty.
Please look into it if you can. It is at least worth asking and you have nothing to lose by having the conversation.
Keep up the good work!
This is spot on, and, as far as I know, one of the only ways to combat what I like to call "Rose Colored Glasses Syndrome."
I've employed it before when I needed to strengthen my resolve after a bad break-up. A day or two after I ended things, I told myself, "Okay, now remember: at some point, you're going to be lonely, you're going to be tired. The only thing you're going want, more than life, is to have her back in your arms again. But remember what it felt like to be miserable in your relationship. Remember all the great reasons you had for getting away from her." And that way, even when my heart said yes, there was a part of my mind that flashed warning lights and whispered that it was a trap. It saved me from some sticky situations, I can tell you.
Substitute gaming for a girlfriend in that little monologue I just gave, and you can see what a powerful force nostaliga really is. Remember. Remember why you quit. And remember that this addiction doesn't go away for us. Not ever.
Not to be a downer or anything. Congratulations on one month, game free! I'm looking forward to that landmark. I'm almost to a week, and so far it's been one of the longest weeks of my life. Keep coming back. Let us know how you're doing.
Taking Steps toward recovery since November 2, 2012. The difficulty of the path makes it worth the walking.
while this is true. and im not knocking him if he does do this. however i think letting a punishment stick is a far better option. as it tells you and your brain that this has consquences and you cannot rationalize giving in again with the well nothing bad happened i didnt get put on acadmeic warning or whatever. a punishment says yes there were consquences to my actions.
Thanks for all the support guys, and Kayne I agree with you, the consequences are a direct result of my action and a reminder of what gaming can do.
On another note.........
[IMG]http://img832.imageshack.us/img832/8649/201204132029531.jpg[/IMG]
The games that were worth any money I took into town today and sold for PS40, there are 0 video games in this household now.
Also last night I was feeling rather crap, my mum saw this and wondered what on earth I was doing, and said "maybe you do need help". This really ****ed me off, I ended up crying and nearly calling a friend for support, I ended up sending a text to my mum saying how I hated my life (which at times I honestly do, but that doesn't mean I can't change it) and "why shouldn't I just commit suicide" (this is never an option I would consider, ever.) I finally got through to my mum how hard it can be at times, she actually understands now. All the worries I had about college she is going to help me get them sorted and I've agreed to use the college's councelling services when I go back but in my own time.
She finally realised that she won't understand how it is and that it is a real addiction like any other. I honestly feel lke a massive weight is off my shoulders, I have no worries about anything at the moment, I feel great. Oh and she has admitted she's noticed a change in my behaviour regarding actually doing stuff around the house and actually being "there" rather than hidden in my bedroom.
On a final note, I'm joining a beginners course for archery with the money i got from my games as I did it in the past and I was going to join the course last year but guess what? World of warcraft raid happened to be on the same night.
Anyway thanks guys just felt like I should update on my progress.
Game free since 13th March 2012
Oh also my mum was great this morning, she wen't out and bought some croissants, a baguette and some nutelle for breakfast, really really good start to a really really good day.
Game free since 13th March 2012
Great update Alex :)
That's very cool, Alex. You are making some great strides forward. Keep up the good work!
Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending. ~Maria Robinson