Every day I have the impulse that it would be nice to play some games, but i try to remind myself of why i made a decision to stop playing, and so far it's been working.
Hey buddy. I'm so glad you decided to quit gaming. There are amazing benefits. It's going to be really, really tough but don't give up. Even if you relapse, don't stay there, get up and continue your fight. Take care
David
—
"The future is determined by our choices in the present." - Anonymous Author
One thing that helps me, when I get the craving to game, is to play the tape all the way to the end. So, if I go back and game, then what? How long will I play? When will I stop? Will I play again? What about my recovery, what will happen to that? What happened the last time I made this choice? And so on, and so on... I just think it through.
And the longer I go without playing, the less often the impulse comes to me. During the first week, it was really hard to get through the day without gaming. After two months, I usually find it quite easy not to game, even on days that are stressful.
Thanks for writing Benek and David, and thanks for your advice.
Day 6
Today was a nice day. I've been doing excercise, some studies, and most importantly: getting a grip of the dates for upcoming exams and re-exams so i can repair some of the damage my passive lifestyle have led to this semester. By writing down dates and planning actions I feel I have some control. Sometimes I blame myself for performing so badly lately, other times i remind myself that regret doesn't help and only paralyzes me. I go back and forth a bit.
I spent the majority of the day reading a novel.
Late at night i started texting a bit with a friend. He told me he was playing a game with all my friends. Suddenly i felt lonley, alone in my apartment reading a novel. So i joined their group call on skype just for talking. It worked great. I didn't have to play games to enjoy their company.
I think it's great that you are following through on your commitment to live a game-free life. It also sounds like you're taking significant steps forward in matters of practical importance, which is also wonderful.
I found the slogan "one day at a time" to be very helpful in my early recovery. It is easy for me to get overwhelmed when I think of all the issues and problems in my life, and in myself, that I need to sort out. And for me, feeling overwhelmed quickly leads to feeling hopeless...and once you're hopeless anyway, why not take away the pain by gaming? It's a slippery slope. So I find the idea of just taking things one day at a time to be very helpful and hopeful. (That's not to say, don't plan ahead for exams! Schedules you can stick to can be good for recovery.)
One last note: I've tried to quit in the past several times, and failed to do so. On more than one occasion, I got pulled back into my game of choice by continuing to communicate with my gamer friends. The social relationships we form in-game are one of the most addictive aspects. One factor that has made my current attempt to quit the most successful, is cutting off contact with everyone I knew in-game, except for one guy who is also in recovery. I have lonely days...I had one today actually...but I'm strong enough now to accept and live with the feeling of loneliness for a while. It passes. And the more involved I become in my real life, the less lonely I will probably feel.
Again, congratulations on 6 days game-free! Keep up the good work!
Thanks for your advice Benek. I'm trying to get in contact with some old productive friends who are not spending time with games, the idea beeing that some of their beliefs might rubb off on me. I've had some success with that.
Day 7
I felt this was a pretty good day. Met and old friend from the gym and he asked me how things are going with my excercise. I was honest with him and said I've spent the past months gaming and lost most of my physical strenght. He told me that he used to have the same problem, and had to cut gaming off. It was nice to hear that from him. It motivated me.
I'm studying for a minor test that takes place tomorrow. I can't say that i'm very effective, im kind of slow and unfocused, but i suppose i will become more effective with time. Frankly, no matter how slow i am, i'm still infinate more effective today than i've been the entire of april for instance.
Good day today. I did better than i expected at the minor test I mentioned in yesterdays post. I met another old friend from the gym. We talked about studies and decided we are going to study together tomorrow. He lives very close to me. A new non-gaming friend? I hope so, he's a nice guy.
I also have trouble focusing, by the way. I've learned that this is a common problem resulting from internet and gaming addiction. Our brains get so accustomed to instant results, instant feedback, instant satisfaction, that our brains actually get rewired. Our memory pathways get weakened and short-circuited. Our attention spans are reduced, and we have more difficulty learning and remembering things. In effect, gaming causes brain damage.
Fortunately, from what I understand, much of this damage is reversible. If we stay away from compulsive use of anything providing instant gratification, and invest more time in, for example, reading and studying, or meditation...anything that requires sustained concentration...our brains can heal.
Thanks Benek. It's true what you are saying. I have also noticed how my attention-span lowers significantly during periods of gaming. I also believe we can retrieve the peace within and the ability to concentrate properly. I feel i have experienced this when i've stopped gaming in the past.
Day 10
It was a productive day. I studied with the friend mentioned in last post both today and yesterday. Came home late.
I had some struggle today/tonight. Some of my friends asked me if i wanted to join for games tonight. I thankfully declined. The urge grew stronger when my plans for going out clubbing crumbled. The friend i planned to go out clubbing with decided he wanted to stay at home.
It's interesting how strong the urge is. Any rationalisation my addict brain is coming up with is rather obvious. It's trying to tell me that it's just casual gaming. It's saying "why not?". But if it's casual, why do you need it so badly? I can feel that it's desperate, and it's trying to hide it's desperation from me.
This helps me strenghen my decision to not game. When I don't game for a while I sometimes "forget" that i'm an addict. It reminds me once again that there is no such thing as "casual gaming" for me right now
You're doing great, Marcus! I was still suffering from withdrawals during my second week of recovery and getting next to nothing done.
One way I used gaming was to reward myself for good behavior. Periodically I'd feel guilty about how much I gamed, so I'd force myself to do something constructive for a little while, take care of some business. Afterward, I really DESERVED to play! My addict brain had come up with a perfect little guilt work-around. So yes, sometimes the urge to play can surface at a point where I feel entitled to a reward, and I need to be vigilant about that. And I need to develop healthier ways to reward myself.
When my AB asks "why not?" I can answer, well, because the last time I made that choice, look where it led to. I can play that tape to the end...the thrill of being "free" to use, quickly followed by the shame, the disappointment and disgust with myself, the need to keep playing even though I'm not really enjoying it, all the wasted time, the descent into hopelessness. You're absolutely right: if it's casual, why is the urge so insistent? The AB is a bold-faced liar, and he needs to be called out over and over.
Thanks benek for sharing some of your own experience on this subject.
Day 13
The studies are going more smooth. I can concentrate for longer times now. My concentration is still not that good, but it's improving.
Had some struggle these past days. Not of the sort that I want to "give up everything" and just game (wich I've had sometimes). The urge is for "casual gaming", wich usually ends up with even more not so casual gaming. I gotta stop looking at it like a treat that i'm deprived of.
had some thought struggle but yesterday and today was completely fine. I've been pretty occupied with work and some other stuff. I really need to study more though, 10 days left before an exam. Whatever, most important is that I'm game free and that I feel good :) I wanted to attend more Olga meetings but I've not been having a computer nearby.
Thanks for your encouragement Braden and benek, and thanks for taking the time to read :)
Day 17
Today have been kind of "productive". Atleast I've been sitting with my books even thought not so much have been done. I've had a lot of other things on my mind. I haven't really felt the urge to game today, except for one brief moment when I passed by an "online cafe". I feel pretty determined (much thanks to Olga), so this urge wasn't a problem. Tonight I'm looking forward to go out with a new-found non-gaming friend to a club. I might do some exercise too if I have some time to spare this evening.
Thanks for your encouragement Braden and benek, and thanks for taking the time to read :)
Day 17
Today have been kind of "productive". Atleast I've been sitting with my books even thought not so much have been done. I've had a lot of other things on my mind. I haven't really felt the urge to game today, except for one brief moment when I passed by an "online cafe". I feel pretty determined (much thanks to Olga), so this urge wasn't a problem. Tonight I'm looking forward to go out with a new-found non-gaming friend to a club. I might do some exercise too if I have some time to spare this evening.
Looks like you are doing awesome!!!! Keep up the good momentum!! Will pray for you.
It seems a bit unreal that I haven't been gaming for 19 days. I don't hear much from my gaming friends nowadays. It's a bit sad because one of them I was really close to. We would talk about life, taking a walk, and even study together. But of course we where gaming a lot too, and I think I might be drawn to "reward" myself with gaming after a study session with him. We often did that in the past. Perhaps I could meet up with him somewhere where there aren't any oportunity to game, like in the university building or a libary.
Today I'm goin to try to study. Only 6 days until my exam. It might not be enough time considering I want/need highest grade on the course. There's a re-exam in August.
Tonight I'm going to make some dinner with a friend, and watch the new episode of game of thrones :)
Congrats on 19 days Marcus, you're doing great! Enjoy your evening!
I understand your feelings about feeling more distant from your gaming friends. That's normal. Try not to take the less frequent contact personally; he's probably busy gaming. Also, keep in mind that a friend quitting is a big problem for an addict. He feels the pressure of your positive example. I remember when I was gaming and an in-game "friend" of mine quit, I'd feel happy for them in my human brain, but in the dominant addict-brain, what I'd really feel was resentment. I couldn't have quite as much fun in-game as I used to, and even worse, I was being reminded that I'm an addict and I should quit too. I was also jealous; I felt weak and inferior for being unwilling to make the healthy choice my friend had made.
So, I wouldn't be surprised if your friend were experiencing some of the same thoughts that I used to have when a friend quit. I think it's a good idea, by the way, if you meet up with him, to do it in a neutral place where gaming isn't an option. Gamer friends sabotaged several of my attempts to quit in the past. Be very careful not to allow those relationships to interfere with your recovery in any way.
Thanks for your advice benek. It's been the case for me aswell in the past that gaming friends interfere with my recovery. They might think it's a silly to not game or that i'm too rigid in my decision, and that my decision interferes with "casual gaming". Interesting enough I've got nothing but support from non-gaming friends so far. If my gaming friends aren't as supportive it will be very difficult to stay away from gaming and at the same time hanging out with them. I will keep this in mind if/when i decide to meet up with this friend.
Thanks Benek. It's true what you are saying. I have also noticed how my attention-span lowers significantly during periods of gaming. I also believe we can retrieve the peace within and the ability to concentrate properly. I feel i have experienced this when i've stopped gaming in the past.
Day 10
It was a productive day. I studied with the friend mentioned in last post both today and yesterday. Came home late.
I had some struggle today/tonight. Some of my friends asked me if i wanted to join for games tonight. I thankfully declined. The urge grew stronger when my plans for going out clubbing crumbled. The friend i planned to go out clubbing with decided he wanted to stay at home.
It's interesting how strong the urge is. Any rationalisation my addict brain is coming up with is rather obvious. It's trying to tell me that it's just casual gaming. It's saying "why not?". But if it's casual, why do you need it so badly? I can feel that it's desperate, and it's trying to hide it's desperation from me.
This helps me strenghen my decision to not game. When I don't game for a while I sometimes "forget" that i'm an addict. It reminds me once again that there is no such thing as "casual gaming" for me right now
I can relate to your experience so much. Rationalisation is one of the most deceptive and tough tricks to overcome that the addicted brain comes up with, together with the "reward for doing something" excuse to justify the need of playing (which benek talked about). For example, when I got a good grade after stopping playing for a couple of days, my brain always told himself "fine, now I can play, can't I? I attended my duty, time for some pleasure!". It really was pleasure, but it also led to another session of sleep-depriving nights and study-neglecting days. I've been free since wednesday and I obtained two very high grades, thus my addicted brain tortured me with its desperate requests: "You're a bit tired, why don't you relax a bit?", "It's been a tough but productive day, now why don't you enjoy some games?", "Just an hour or two, then you'll go to sleep as usual". They're all lies, I know because I relapsed several times and most of them were awful, I felt guilty, I hated myself for being so weak, I thought of me as a lazy, foolish inept. My life instantly became worse again all the times I relapsed, so I tell myself it's just not worth it.
—
"Fear is the first of many foes". "Perseverance wins".
Definitely stopped playing on May 22, 2014.
My "higher power" is the fellowship.
Thanks for sharing ur thoughts on this matter ogaLlyod =) Yes rationalisations are tricky because the natural thing is to believe what you are thinking. One has to realise that ones thoughts are not always "oneself" or "true".
Day 23
I've been working a lot. Wont be able to do my exam, haven't studied enough. I'm happy anyway, have plans and stuff going on. Haven't been thinking that much about gaming these past 3 days now, wich gives me hope of recovery. But, I will always be an addict, and i have to remember that.
I have been substituting gaming with youtube. It wasn't a problem in the beginning, but it have become more and more. I finally realised i need to put and end to it. Today is my first youtube-free day.
I was really stressed yesterday. An issue with my work amplified by the fact it was my 2nd day youtube-free. I felt terrible. I was trying to attend the 3pm meeting to calm down, but there where no meeting. Fortunately i managed to contact my friend. He came over, we relaxed, talked and drank coffie. The stress slowly dissapared. Then we went to a party together. I'm happy i didn't end up gaming. I'm thankful to my good friend
Great job on dealing with the cravings in a healthy way. Asking a friend for help was a very smart decision.
I"m sorry there was no meeting at that time. There have been some major disruptions at OLGA lately and unfortunately it looks like the meeting schedule has been affected.
One alternative to meetings is to contact another member directly via email or skype. Here is a list of members who have posted their contact info on the site: http://www.olganon.org/?q=node/45283
I can also send you mine by PM if you're interested.
It's interesting how easily i get stressed out for nothing. This morning i had a missed call from a client. I was almost shaking from stress as i imagined that my business associate (who i had recommended) had messed something up, and that they where calling to complain. I mean, why else would they call? I prepared on how to apologize, how i would tell off my associate. When i finally called back they just wanted to thank me for great service and remind me that i had forgot a shirt at their place. How ironic, all that stress for nothing. I think i'm gonna read some more Eckhart Tolle, that used to help me a lot.
I accept that I'm powerless over gaming and that my life has become unmanageable. I trust that a power greater than myself can and want to help me. I've been failing to monitor the amount of gaming. I've been failing to properly priority task because of my addiction to gaming.
I appreciate your willingness to come here to share about your struggles. Being able to see your perseverance and commitment help my perseverance and commitment.
Hey Marcus. I'm on my 6th day of not gaming and have been going through a lot of things you have, most notibly struggling with substituting youtube for gaming. Good luck to you, man.
Thanks tamercloud for sharing. I just woke up after some sleep and I was dreaming about gaming and improving my character, haha but I deleted it :p gotta do something else. Probably gonna visit a friend
Day 5
Every day I have the impulse that it would be nice to play some games, but i try to remind myself of why i made a decision to stop playing, and so far it's been working.
Hey buddy. I'm so glad you decided to quit gaming. There are amazing benefits. It's going to be really, really tough but don't give up. Even if you relapse, don't stay there, get up and continue your fight. Take care
David
"The future is determined by our choices in the present." - Anonymous Author
Good job on resisting that impulse, Marcus.
One thing that helps me, when I get the craving to game, is to play the tape all the way to the end. So, if I go back and game, then what? How long will I play? When will I stop? Will I play again? What about my recovery, what will happen to that? What happened the last time I made this choice? And so on, and so on... I just think it through.
And the longer I go without playing, the less often the impulse comes to me. During the first week, it was really hard to get through the day without gaming. After two months, I usually find it quite easy not to game, even on days that are stressful.
Thanks for writing Benek and David, and thanks for your advice.
Day 6
Today was a nice day. I've been doing excercise, some studies, and most importantly: getting a grip of the dates for upcoming exams and re-exams so i can repair some of the damage my passive lifestyle have led to this semester. By writing down dates and planning actions I feel I have some control. Sometimes I blame myself for performing so badly lately, other times i remind myself that regret doesn't help and only paralyzes me. I go back and forth a bit.
I spent the majority of the day reading a novel.
Late at night i started texting a bit with a friend. He told me he was playing a game with all my friends. Suddenly i felt lonley, alone in my apartment reading a novel. So i joined their group call on skype just for talking. It worked great. I didn't have to play games to enjoy their company.
Hey Marcus,
I think it's great that you are following through on your commitment to live a game-free life. It also sounds like you're taking significant steps forward in matters of practical importance, which is also wonderful.
I found the slogan "one day at a time" to be very helpful in my early recovery. It is easy for me to get overwhelmed when I think of all the issues and problems in my life, and in myself, that I need to sort out. And for me, feeling overwhelmed quickly leads to feeling hopeless...and once you're hopeless anyway, why not take away the pain by gaming? It's a slippery slope. So I find the idea of just taking things one day at a time to be very helpful and hopeful. (That's not to say, don't plan ahead for exams! Schedules you can stick to can be good for recovery.)
One last note: I've tried to quit in the past several times, and failed to do so. On more than one occasion, I got pulled back into my game of choice by continuing to communicate with my gamer friends. The social relationships we form in-game are one of the most addictive aspects. One factor that has made my current attempt to quit the most successful, is cutting off contact with everyone I knew in-game, except for one guy who is also in recovery. I have lonely days...I had one today actually...but I'm strong enough now to accept and live with the feeling of loneliness for a while. It passes. And the more involved I become in my real life, the less lonely I will probably feel.
Again, congratulations on 6 days game-free! Keep up the good work!
Thanks for your advice Benek. I'm trying to get in contact with some old productive friends who are not spending time with games, the idea beeing that some of their beliefs might rubb off on me. I've had some success with that.
Day 7
I felt this was a pretty good day. Met and old friend from the gym and he asked me how things are going with my excercise. I was honest with him and said I've spent the past months gaming and lost most of my physical strenght. He told me that he used to have the same problem, and had to cut gaming off. It was nice to hear that from him. It motivated me.
I'm studying for a minor test that takes place tomorrow. I can't say that i'm very effective, im kind of slow and unfocused, but i suppose i will become more effective with time. Frankly, no matter how slow i am, i'm still infinate more effective today than i've been the entire of april for instance.
Day 8
Good day today. I did better than i expected at the minor test I mentioned in yesterdays post. I met another old friend from the gym. We talked about studies and decided we are going to study together tomorrow. He lives very close to me. A new non-gaming friend? I hope so, he's a nice guy.
Hey Marcus,
Sounds great! Keep up the good work!
I also have trouble focusing, by the way. I've learned that this is a common problem resulting from internet and gaming addiction. Our brains get so accustomed to instant results, instant feedback, instant satisfaction, that our brains actually get rewired. Our memory pathways get weakened and short-circuited. Our attention spans are reduced, and we have more difficulty learning and remembering things. In effect, gaming causes brain damage.
Fortunately, from what I understand, much of this damage is reversible. If we stay away from compulsive use of anything providing instant gratification, and invest more time in, for example, reading and studying, or meditation...anything that requires sustained concentration...our brains can heal.
Thanks Benek. It's true what you are saying. I have also noticed how my attention-span lowers significantly during periods of gaming. I also believe we can retrieve the peace within and the ability to concentrate properly. I feel i have experienced this when i've stopped gaming in the past.
Day 10
It was a productive day. I studied with the friend mentioned in last post both today and yesterday. Came home late.
I had some struggle today/tonight. Some of my friends asked me if i wanted to join for games tonight. I thankfully declined. The urge grew stronger when my plans for going out clubbing crumbled. The friend i planned to go out clubbing with decided he wanted to stay at home.
It's interesting how strong the urge is. Any rationalisation my addict brain is coming up with is rather obvious. It's trying to tell me that it's just casual gaming. It's saying "why not?". But if it's casual, why do you need it so badly? I can feel that it's desperate, and it's trying to hide it's desperation from me.
This helps me strenghen my decision to not game. When I don't game for a while I sometimes "forget" that i'm an addict. It reminds me once again that there is no such thing as "casual gaming" for me right now
You're doing great, Marcus! I was still suffering from withdrawals during my second week of recovery and getting next to nothing done.
One way I used gaming was to reward myself for good behavior. Periodically I'd feel guilty about how much I gamed, so I'd force myself to do something constructive for a little while, take care of some business. Afterward, I really DESERVED to play! My addict brain had come up with a perfect little guilt work-around. So yes, sometimes the urge to play can surface at a point where I feel entitled to a reward, and I need to be vigilant about that. And I need to develop healthier ways to reward myself.
When my AB asks "why not?" I can answer, well, because the last time I made that choice, look where it led to. I can play that tape to the end...the thrill of being "free" to use, quickly followed by the shame, the disappointment and disgust with myself, the need to keep playing even though I'm not really enjoying it, all the wasted time, the descent into hopelessness. You're absolutely right: if it's casual, why is the urge so insistent? The AB is a bold-faced liar, and he needs to be called out over and over.
Thanks benek for sharing some of your own experience on this subject.
Day 13
The studies are going more smooth. I can concentrate for longer times now. My concentration is still not that good, but it's improving.
Had some struggle these past days. Not of the sort that I want to "give up everything" and just game (wich I've had sometimes). The urge is for "casual gaming", wich usually ends up with even more not so casual gaming. I gotta stop looking at it like a treat that i'm deprived of.
Day 16
had some thought struggle but yesterday and today was completely fine. I've been pretty occupied with work and some other stuff. I really need to study more though, 10 days left before an exam. Whatever, most important is that I'm game free and that I feel good :) I wanted to attend more Olga meetings but I've not been having a computer nearby.
That's great Marcus, good job on resisting those cravings! If you ignore them, they pass soon enough. Congrats on 16 days and feeling good about it!
Great work marcus! love how you're writing everyday to update us ^_^
Thanks for your encouragement Braden and benek, and thanks for taking the time to read :)
Day 17
Today have been kind of "productive". Atleast I've been sitting with my books even thought not so much have been done. I've had a lot of other things on my mind. I haven't really felt the urge to game today, except for one brief moment when I passed by an "online cafe". I feel pretty determined (much thanks to Olga), so this urge wasn't a problem. Tonight I'm looking forward to go out with a new-found non-gaming friend to a club. I might do some exercise too if I have some time to spare this evening.
Looks like you are doing awesome!!!! Keep up the good momentum!! Will pray for you.
Thanks kyunga :)
Day 19
It seems a bit unreal that I haven't been gaming for 19 days. I don't hear much from my gaming friends nowadays. It's a bit sad because one of them I was really close to. We would talk about life, taking a walk, and even study together. But of course we where gaming a lot too, and I think I might be drawn to "reward" myself with gaming after a study session with him. We often did that in the past. Perhaps I could meet up with him somewhere where there aren't any oportunity to game, like in the university building or a libary.
Today I'm goin to try to study. Only 6 days until my exam. It might not be enough time considering I want/need highest grade on the course. There's a re-exam in August.
Tonight I'm going to make some dinner with a friend, and watch the new episode of game of thrones :)
Congrats on 19 days Marcus, you're doing great! Enjoy your evening!
I understand your feelings about feeling more distant from your gaming friends. That's normal. Try not to take the less frequent contact personally; he's probably busy gaming. Also, keep in mind that a friend quitting is a big problem for an addict. He feels the pressure of your positive example. I remember when I was gaming and an in-game "friend" of mine quit, I'd feel happy for them in my human brain, but in the dominant addict-brain, what I'd really feel was resentment. I couldn't have quite as much fun in-game as I used to, and even worse, I was being reminded that I'm an addict and I should quit too. I was also jealous; I felt weak and inferior for being unwilling to make the healthy choice my friend had made.
So, I wouldn't be surprised if your friend were experiencing some of the same thoughts that I used to have when a friend quit. I think it's a good idea, by the way, if you meet up with him, to do it in a neutral place where gaming isn't an option. Gamer friends sabotaged several of my attempts to quit in the past. Be very careful not to allow those relationships to interfere with your recovery in any way.
Thanks for your advice benek. It's been the case for me aswell in the past that gaming friends interfere with my recovery. They might think it's a silly to not game or that i'm too rigid in my decision, and that my decision interferes with "casual gaming". Interesting enough I've got nothing but support from non-gaming friends so far. If my gaming friends aren't as supportive it will be very difficult to stay away from gaming and at the same time hanging out with them. I will keep this in mind if/when i decide to meet up with this friend.
I can relate to your experience so much. Rationalisation is one of the most deceptive and tough tricks to overcome that the addicted brain comes up with, together with the "reward for doing something" excuse to justify the need of playing (which benek talked about). For example, when I got a good grade after stopping playing for a couple of days, my brain always told himself "fine, now I can play, can't I? I attended my duty, time for some pleasure!". It really was pleasure, but it also led to another session of sleep-depriving nights and study-neglecting days. I've been free since wednesday and I obtained two very high grades, thus my addicted brain tortured me with its desperate requests: "You're a bit tired, why don't you relax a bit?", "It's been a tough but productive day, now why don't you enjoy some games?", "Just an hour or two, then you'll go to sleep as usual". They're all lies, I know because I relapsed several times and most of them were awful, I felt guilty, I hated myself for being so weak, I thought of me as a lazy, foolish inept. My life instantly became worse again all the times I relapsed, so I tell myself it's just not worth it.
"Fear is the first of many foes". "Perseverance wins".
Definitely stopped playing on May 22, 2014.
My "higher power" is the fellowship.
Thanks for sharing ur thoughts on this matter ogaLlyod =) Yes rationalisations are tricky because the natural thing is to believe what you are thinking. One has to realise that ones thoughts are not always "oneself" or "true".
Day 23
I've been working a lot. Wont be able to do my exam, haven't studied enough. I'm happy anyway, have plans and stuff going on. Haven't been thinking that much about gaming these past 3 days now, wich gives me hope of recovery. But, I will always be an addict, and i have to remember that.
Congrats on 23 days! That's great! Keep up the good work, one day at a time.
Hope is a good state of mind. Glad to hear you're getting a taste of it.
Thanks benek =)
Day 24
I have been substituting gaming with youtube. It wasn't a problem in the beginning, but it have become more and more. I finally realised i need to put and end to it. Today is my first youtube-free day.
Day 26
I was really stressed yesterday. An issue with my work amplified by the fact it was my 2nd day youtube-free. I felt terrible. I was trying to attend the 3pm meeting to calm down, but there where no meeting. Fortunately i managed to contact my friend. He came over, we relaxed, talked and drank coffie. The stress slowly dissapared. Then we went to a party together. I'm happy i didn't end up gaming. I'm thankful to my good friend
Hey Marcus,
Great job on dealing with the cravings in a healthy way. Asking a friend for help was a very smart decision.
I"m sorry there was no meeting at that time. There have been some major disruptions at OLGA lately and unfortunately it looks like the meeting schedule has been affected.
One alternative to meetings is to contact another member directly via email or skype. Here is a list of members who have posted their contact info on the site: http://www.olganon.org/?q=node/45283
I can also send you mine by PM if you're interested.
Hang in there!
Thanks benek, i sent u a PM =)
Day 26
It's interesting how easily i get stressed out for nothing. This morning i had a missed call from a client. I was almost shaking from stress as i imagined that my business associate (who i had recommended) had messed something up, and that they where calling to complain. I mean, why else would they call? I prepared on how to apologize, how i would tell off my associate. When i finally called back they just wanted to thank me for great service and remind me that i had forgot a shirt at their place. How ironic, all that stress for nothing. I think i'm gonna read some more Eckhart Tolle, that used to help me a lot.
Day 0
I accept that I'm powerless over gaming and that my life has become unmanageable. I trust that a power greater than myself can and want to help me. I've been failing to monitor the amount of gaming. I've been failing to properly priority task because of my addiction to gaming.
Hi Waz,
I appreciate your willingness to come here to share about your struggles. Being able to see your perseverance and commitment help my perseverance and commitment.
Thanks SonofJohn
Day 1
Deleted my accounts, quite a painful experience, but also a relief :)
Hey Marcus. I'm on my 6th day of not gaming and have been going through a lot of things you have, most notibly struggling with substituting youtube for gaming. Good luck to you, man.
Thanks tamercloud for sharing. I just woke up after some sleep and I was dreaming about gaming and improving my character, haha but I deleted it :p gotta do something else. Probably gonna visit a friend