For a reason that I know why. I stopped coming to Olga. The reason is is that I thought that maybe I could support myself and try to beat this gaming addiction alone without any advice.
It didn't work out so well. I relapsed for at least a month. Last night when I was playing I decided to record myself while I was playing a game at 3:00am. When I watched it over, I looked like a zombie. Which is why you may see my signature "Gaming makes you into a mindless zombie" because that's what it looks like. I'm completely zoned out. I got mad whenever I died in the game. I have really dark circles under my eyes from lack of sleep and I noticed from the sleep deprivation that it's really starting to catch up to me. I would only get maybe 4 or 5 hours of sleep until I need to wake up. Until around 11 or 12pm I'm already falling asleep while I'm with my son. It feels horrible. I want to be able to have so much energy to jump around and just get things done. Practice on my drawing and work with graphics. But as long as I let gaming get in the way, It's going to hold me back and keep me from what I really want.
Gaming addiction turns you into a mindless zombie.
You're back and that's what matters. It's not easy to admit a mistake openly after relapsing, so I admire your strength and this post. I hope to see you at some meetings and just remember to make connections with members of the fellowship, so you can always have someone to contact if you're feeling that urge.
Respect,
Jesse
A wise man once told me to shutup.
\\ Free from games since 03.13.2014 //
It takes a LOT of courage to come back after a relapse. I left Olga in the Spring of 2013, and my new clean date is May 26th, 2014. I had quit going to meetings and posting on forums.
So happy you are back, please continue to work on yourself & immerse yourself in the community of the fellowship.
"There is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative." --W. Clement Stone
Hi Etsu,
Congrats for coming back, It's hard after a relapse but the withdrawals do pass and if you connect with other members and attend meetings you'll find experience strength and hope. Also I would reccomend finding a sponsor, that really helped me after my relapse last year. I now have 11 1/2 Months up again.
hugs Tam
"It has become appallingly clear that our technology has surpassed our humanity"
Albert Einstein.
You hit the nail on the head with this statement. And yes, we just can't do it alone. I too took a break from Olga and ended up gaming again. We need each other to help us stay quit. Welcome back!
Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending. ~Maria Robinson