I have come up with a lot of stuff that I like doing or would like to do, and I think it may be too much stuff. There are only 24 hours in the day, and I like to spend some of them sleeping. So I am thinking I may need to prioritize. My plans and objectives and dreams include: making lots of money as a writer, investing in real estate, becoming a published fiction writer, achieving some actual popularity as a musician, getting a paramedic certification and a job with a real 911 service, expanding my circle of friends, improving my relationships with my kids and girlfriend and family members, reaching some level of cordiality with my ex. Oh, and participating regularly in triathlons and foot races and finishing near the top of my age group. That's a lot. Just keeping track of how I'm doing on all that stuff is something of a project. I like hitting a variety of things a lick or two each day, and that can be an effective method of getting somewhere. But still, it's hard to hit on even most of these projects once a day. So, what do I want to take off of there? I don't know.
I do know that if I were spending 16 hours a day gaming whenever possible, and sometimes when not possible, none of this would even be remotely conceivable. What a blessing it is to have games out of my life. Today I try to treat real life as a sort of a game. When I'm reading news articles and blog posts and other things looking for ideas for articles, for example, I try to approach it as if I were exploring a new level of the dungeon, on the alert for valuable items of armor, weapons, magic spells, etc. It's really not that much different. And it makes what could be a boring, frustrating task much more interesting and engaging.
So I don't know. Maybe I can keep trying to move forward on all those fronts and keep treating life like a game where I have to balance many competing demands on resources. I'm thinking the paramedic certificate may have to go, however. That would be an 18-month effort, and pretty intense. It's not an easy course of study by any means. It would make it very hard to keep up on the rest of them, if I go to paramedic school. Anyway...
Many thanks to all of you who read and post here. Without you, I would still be buried in games and basically hating life. Now, I don't. That's worth a lot. No plans to game today.
what my ideal day looks like? i asked myself this question many times and have come to many answers along the years. Lately i have read in one of olga members posts (dan1) about an idea that could help in finding this. he said Imagine yourself living 30,000 years before now and see what you would do in your day. This idea has really helped me to figure out what makes me happy. Would i want to take the lead of my small tribe (50-100 people)? would i want to go out for hunting and bring food for my family or for my tribe? would i want to explore the region alone and come back at the end of the day or do i want to do this with others and never come back? Well, i found i would like to be a Farmer! This is a great discovery for me! Then i asked myself why farmer, what special in it? Well, I like the idea of growing something and feel the result at the end of the day when i see that i have farmed 50 m2 of land then have a plan for the next day to farm more and a project in mind to have a big farm and make enough food for my tribe. I like a quiet growing life without over emotional activities. I knew then why i liked to play simulation games! They are built on the same concept. And as a farmer I like to have a family and care about them every day whether i am at home or in the farm. I found that I like to work a daily routine job that give me a sense of achievement and purpose while i am doing it. Now i am working on applying my discovery on my current life!
—
"Recovery is not about dealing with gaming. Recovery is about dealing with Life"
planner, that was a great post. Thanks for sharing your insight. I think that a large part of successfully getting off of compulsive gaming is getting some personal understanding of who we are, what we want and, by extension, why we game. Once we understand that, we can come up with substitute activities that aren't so harmful and still give us what we are looking for from gaming. You are doing a great job of better understanding yourself, which is not as easy as it sounds. Well done!
I am okay today. I don't get a lot of urges these days, but every now and then one comes sneaking in. I casually give them the boot and carry on with real life, which I have found to be far more interesting, rich, complex, challenging and rewarding than gaming ever was. Real life is also often quite frustrating, but if I wanted to take the easy way out, I'd bury myself in a game and hide from reality. I've decided not to do that any more. Many thanks to all for your help with getting off the games.
It's been a busy week. And that's because I'm not gaming! I had a hard week at work, but well worth it. The results are that I'm trusted by my managers to achieve my goals, and listened to. By them showing this to me, it has motivated me a lot more and so I understand some of the hard things they let us complete.
I think that by reading the slight edge and the power of habits (currently reading!), it also gives me a better view on what it is to be a leader.
One of my next books is No More Mr Nice Guy, because I'm still too nice to everyone, when it is sometimes not always the best way to be efficient in work, and in life in general.
This week has been a real example of how I'm so busy with either working, exercising, resting (!) and taking care of my family. There is simply no room for gaming. When I think about gaming, I think about pure time loss. There are other ways to get some entertainment, and I can link these with othe things. No time wasted.
I've not even had the time to read a lot on Olganon. I'm absolutely not classifying Olganon as a mindlessly browsing activity. It is a source of motivation, recommandations on books to read and how to achieve in life, esp how to not game. But if I don't have much time for this, I certainly can't get distracted by less interesting websites. And I think I did good.
So if you guys aren't reading a lot from me, it doesn't mean I relapsed, but that I'm busy with 'self-evolution", the right way ;)
anewho, thanks much for the update. It sounds like you are living the dream. Very well done! Yours is a textbook example of how to fill the hours you used to spend gaming with productive, rewarding activities that keep you from missing gaming. Your example shows that gaming is actually a lame substitute for the many wonderful real-world things we can do with our lives. Outstanding!
Like you I really liked The Slight Edge and The Power of Habit and recommend them to anybody. I checked both out from my local library so they didn't cost me a penny. But I'm thinking of buying second hand copies to keep around. You can also learn a lot from their respective websites without having to mess with a book:
http://slightedge.org/
http://charlesduhigg.com/
No plans to game today. Thanks for your help with that.
I want to encourage everybody who's trying to quit gaming to keep trying. I gamed excessively and compulsively off and (mostly) on for 25 years. I couldn't begin to measure how much this problem cost me and the people I care about. However, I have been off the games for about 10 months now, and it's great. I am really enjoying life and rarely think about games. Urges are infrequent and weak and easily deflected. So if I can do it, you can do it too.
Olga is a fantastic resource and the daily check-ins and group support made all the difference for me when I first joined up a few years ago. I was able to quit games completely for about two years. Then I got back into games for a year or two but now I have fortunately not been playing for a good while. Again, it's great. There is a wonderful life on the other side of gaming.
It's not too late. It's not impossible. You can do it, and it's worth it. Keep trying. Relapsing is a part of it for most people. But you can get to the game-free life you want. Don't give up.
Nearly one year without games, congrats! I'm "celebrating" my 31st day today! No relapse, and that's because I got rid of all the games, included web games. I actually am not tempted at all to play games. I've surprised myself to do some "overhours" at home for work. Nothing fancy, just a mail to myself here and there to use it later at work. Ideas and things I don't have to forget.
I also actually take the time to pre-cook my breakfast so I don't lose time in the morning, or the prepare things and don't wait until the last minute. This reminds me I have to go and prepare what I'm going to wear tomorrow.
I don't like to have to do this early in the morning. It's just a habit : Waking up, take a new towel, shower, put shirts on, take my stuff, and go to work.
I'll have to include breakfast there. Today I ate it at work but I'd rather wake up 10 mins earlier and eat it at home. Too much hassle to eat a breakfast at work, always someone disturbing me. And at home, I can eat with my hands insteaf of a fork :D
anewho, thanks for the post. It sounds like you're really engaging with life and putting together a real-world existence you can be proud of. Congratz, my friend. I'm proud of you and appreciate your participation here very much.
One thing I like to do is gamify real life. For instance, give yourself a reward if you do something positive, like exercise, eat a healthy meal, do some volunteer work or just avoid gaming. The reward could be a smoothie, or listening to music for a couple of minutes or maybe taking a hot bath. That's what games do to motivate you to keep playing.
And try visual encouragement, again like games. I have found incredible motivation from posting on my bulletin board an Excel bar graph showing my monthly billings, which is the dollar amount of the articles I have completed and sent out bills for. It is amazing how hard I will work to get the current month's bar higher than last month. This is also is gamification.
Think about how you can use rewards, levels, badges, visual indicators and other elements of gaming to engage yourself in your own real life. It really works. It's not a magic cure-all, of course, but you might be surprised how much it can help.
I had the darndest powerful urge yesterday. I was driving in traffic and commented to my son that what I needed was a flamethrower to get other drivers to yield. This led to a recollection of a game I played that had tanks and soldiers armed with flamethrowers. I started thinking about some exciting sessions of this game I had played years ago, and was filled with such yearning to be able to experience that again. I felt kind of sad that I didn't plan to play those games again. Then I recalled that, for every fun moment like that, there were a hundred not-fun moments of boredom, grinding and losing -- and that was just in the game. To get to one fun moment like that, I had to go through countless moments of real-world failure, guilt, shame, embarrassment and self-hatred due to failing to live up to my real-world obligations. And this is not including the loss of all the rich rewards of fully engaging in real life -- accomplishing my goals, realizing my dreams and making progress toward long-sought, worthwhile, challenging objectives. I decided that a single moment of remembered fun wasn't nearly enough to motivate me to go through all that pain and loss in order to try to relive it. So that urge was quickly defeated. It was as strong an urge as I've had in a while. I wonder if they'll ever go away 100 percent and never return. I guess we'll find out
I'm reading The Happiness Advantage, by Shawn Achor, and he's making the point that making small changes in how convenient it is to do something can help when you are trying to break a habit or establish a new habit. Like he started practicing guitar more when he stopped storing his guitar in the case and started keeping it on a stand next to the sofa. He stopped watching TV so much after work when he started taking the batteries out of the remote and keeping them in the nightstand in his bedroom. Just those small differences helped steer him down the road he wanted to go on and not down the road he wanted to avoid.
You can help yourself not game by deleting games, canceling accounts and trashing disks. It may not work the first time, but keep it up. Even if you download or buy and reinstall and start playing again, when you are feeling sensible again, delete, cancel and trash. Keep making it just a little harder to game. Get rid of your gaming PC and get one that has a lousy graphics card, for instance. Leave your laptop at work, or at the other end of the house. Get some software that will block you from visiting websites you don't want to visit. It can help. You can eventually be able to resist the urges and not play.,
Likewise, keep your running shoes by your bed if you want to start a habit of running first thing in the morning. If you want to practice guitar, keep it out instead of in the case. And so on.
It adds up. You can do this. Don't give up. Keep trying. It's so worth it, believe me. You are going to love life without gaming.
Doing okay. No plans to game today. I encourage others to try some of the tricks you'll read about here and elsewhere on Olganon and try to put down the freaking games. It's totally worth it to get games out of your life. Don't give up. You can do it.
planner, you are sounding very self-aware and that is key to resisting urges. It seems that maybe the urges hit after you've been busy and are feeling worn out and perhaps deserving of some kind of break or treat?
The HALT acronym is one a lot of people use to remind themselves of common triggers:
Hungry
Angry
Lonely
Tired
There are lots of other triggers too, but those are important ones.
I had not signed for 4 days, but this morning I signed on to tell my group that I wouldn't be playing anymore (my son is in the same group so I didn't want to just disappear). Then I found myself playing for about 30 minutes waiting to see if someone responds, so as of right now I am 5 hrs sober.
That is going to be a challenge for me because my son is only 7 and I often helped him out as we played together.
Please pray for me as I begin the journey of sobriety.
Texas
—
Shawn
My world is not falling apart, it is falling into place
I haven't played any games since yesterday, because I was doing homework and going to school, so it was impossible to game. This afternoon, I don't have school, so it's more challenging not to game. I will call this my Day 1 of gaming sobriety if by the end of the day I will not have gamed.
Also, I have a more general addiction than just playing games, so I'll need to stop watching youtube videos and wasting any time on the internet from now on. I'm considering this a different addiction, because it mainly stems from the fact that I just don't want to finish my homework first, then I go online and waste away my time. If I don't waste time on the Internet today, I'll call today a Day 1 of Internet sobriety as well.
Let's go!
BrandNewDay
—
"The trouble--it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found." - Home
One day at a time NewDay, we can do it! Find little victories and focus and the positives.
Remember, if you're like me it is never just for a minute... it's all or nothing. Stay strong and rejoice every time you get the pull to play and you stay away.
Texas
—
Shawn
My world is not falling apart, it is falling into place
One day at a time NewDay, we can do it! Find little victories and focus and the positives.
Remember, if you're like me it is never just for a minute... it's all or nothing. Stay strong and rejoice every time you get the pull to play and you stay away.
Texas
—
Shawn
My world is not falling apart, it is falling into place
Yes, Texas! On this issue of addiction, let's focus on the present, not our mistakes in the past, nor our burdens in the future. Quoting dark on this topic: http://www.olganon.org/forum/i-need-help-gamers-open-forum/ok-im-back-lala-land:
Quote:
There are two days in every week we should not worry about, two days that should be kept free from fear and apprehension.
One is yesterday, with its mistakes and cares, its faults and blunders, its aches and pains. Yesterday has passed, forever beyond our control. All the money in the world cannot bring back yesterday. We cannot undo a single act we performed. Nor can we erase a single word we've said - yesterday is gone.
The other day we shouldn't worry about is tomorrow, with its possible adversities, Its burdens, its large promise and poor performance.
Tomorrow is beyond our control. Tomorrow's sun will rise either in splendour or behind a mask of clouds but it will rise. And until it does,we have no stake in tomorrow, for it is yet unborn.
This leaves only one day - today. Any person can fight the battles of just one day. It is only when we add the burdens of yesterday and tomorrow that we break down.
It is not the experience of today that drives people mad - it is the remorse of bitterness for something that happened yesterday, and the dread of what tomorrow may bring.
Let us, therefore, live one day at a time!
No plans to game tonight. I hope that today will become my "sobriety birthday." And yours as well.
NewDay
—
"The trouble--it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found." - Home
Day 2 of sober living and I choose not to game today.
Last night I came close to justifying it to myself, just to check in, but not play. Instead I went to my app list and deleted the hundreds of games that I installed at one point in time. I had already uninstalled all of them, but it felt good to delete them from "My Apps" all together.
Here's to one more day sober.
Shawn
—
Shawn
My world is not falling apart, it is falling into place
It is a struggle, especially at first, a lot of times anyway. But you can get there and it gets easier with time. The urges become weaker and more easily deflected, and you become stronger and more determined. So keep up the fight. There may be setbacks, but don't give up. You can get gaming out of your life and, based on my personal experience, life is really great without spending many hours a day, hunched over a keyboard, ignoring responsibilities and relationships and nutrition and rest and hygiene in order to play a computer game. Who'd a thunk, right? When you look at it that way, gaming seems crazy. But I guess we are a little crazy or we wouldn't be here. So we're trying to be a little less crazy. Nothing wrong with that.
Do whatever you can to make it harder to game -- cancel accounts, smash disks, delete games, set up monitoring software to keep you off the problem sites, sell your gaming PC on Craigslist, get a phone that can't play games, etc. Anything helps. Any roadblock you put up can be overcome, sure, but it will give you a little time to think about it and a lot of times you'll end up deciding not to play.
Develop new activities to take the place of gaming. It's a lot of hours to fill up, and it's very hard to keep from gaming when you are just sitting there twiddling your thumbs and trying not to game. Get something else going, something that really interests you. What hobby do you love but haven't had time for because of gaming? Get back into it now.
Reward yourself. Give yourself treats for not gaming. Candy, movie tickets, whatever. Try to make not gaming positive, not like it's punishment.
Don't try to quit everything at once. It takes willpower to stop gaming, and you only have so much of that available at any one time. You need to focus your efforts on not gaming. Later on you can quit smoking, drinking, gambling, surfing the net, watching videos, watching porn or whatever else is a problem for you. One thing at a time. One day at a time.
And keep posting. Community support is extremely important for this. Don't try to do it alone. You've been trying that and it hasn't been working, right? Well, this group can really help you do better.
Those are my recommendations.
No plans to game today. Thanks for your help with that.
I want to add myself to the accountabilty list. I am at work and very busy but this has always been a problem place because I have gamed a lot at work and I'm very good at hiding my gaming while still able keep my work stats up where it looks like I've been very productive. I'm a pro addict! ;) I'm actually being more productive at work lately and have had several days where I've almost enjoyed being here since I've quit gaming. I haven't enjoyed being at work in years. That being said, sitting here at my desk while most people are out of the office at lunch has got me jonesing REALLY BAD! Today at 4:30 I will have been completely clean for 8 days. I plan on staying that way. I have no plans to go back to gaming but I still have strong urges. Almost aches. Does that make sense? They are almost unbearable at times. I hope they pass and this gets easier. I want this to be the last time I have to quit! Hope everyone else is having a good, clean day!
Welcome Shawn, Celerec8, and BrandNewDay I would like to share what i learned to do when i face temptations to play. It has helped me alot to change my location and change the activity i am doing. Maybe going outside for a walk or to spend time with friends or just start cleaning the house- Staying away from the computer and going to visit my family for some time made my recovery easier - i don’t think that i could have stayed sober without attending meetings and getting in contact with other fellowship - This website has a great posts and i am still learning from them - Running the tape to the end and imagine what if i played now, how my life is going to be. this helps me to recall all the pain i had while gaming before - Relaxing is very important that's why i Breath every time i remember and that means to focus and try to be aware of my breathing and i set an alarm 3 times a day to do this. This also helps me to stay in the present! - Doing a gratitude list is great too and i encourage everyone to do the same - Thinking for a little time about where i am going to be after 4 years if i continued to play and where i would be if i stopped gaming - When i want to do something productive and i don’t have energy for it, i trick my mind and say i will just do this for 5 minutes and i am amazed how this has worked and kept me active - Recovery is not about dealing with gaming, it is about dealing with life so i am working on finding out what i really enjoy in life.
Focus on Just Today and please Breath, Breath as much as you can!
—
"Recovery is not about dealing with gaming. Recovery is about dealing with Life"
I put an app on my phone that counts my days sober, right now it is at 2. I have a widget on my home screen that shows it. When I get the urge to play I look and that. I tell myself that if I do that then I will lose the count up "game".
Planner, thanks for the advice. I appreciate the welcomes from all of you as well. It definitely helps knowing that I am not alone in this struggle.
I choose not to game today.
—
Shawn
My world is not falling apart, it is falling into place
I also have become a pro addict. I would shut the door to my office and game away. I would still be productive enough, but not anywhere near as productive as I could be. It also has led me to not enjoying work which caused me to game more there. What I found since not gaming at work at all this week is that I am enjoying work more too.
Stay strong, if you want to PM me for support during work please do I understand what your going through as I am too.
—
Shawn
My world is not falling apart, it is falling into place
Planner, outstanding post! Thanks for all the tips and tricks. There are a lot of them and not every trick works equally well for every person. But I think almost anybody can find something that will work for them. So keep trying everything until something works. Then, work it. You can do this!
Celerec, welcome. We are in this together and together we can get out of it. Keep up the fight!
TexasStew, I like the idea of the count-up app. It's funny how we can be so motivated to win a game like that. But, you know what? It works. The unwillingness to break a string of game-free days can be very effective at keeping you from gaming. I am amazed at how I will work to try to accomplish some goal that is presented as a competition. Like, I'll make a graph of the dollar value of articles I've written each month (I work as a freelance writer) and I'll try to make each month's graph reach higher than the last. It sounds stupid but it's highly motivating. (They call this kind of thing gamification, and it's one of the things game designers do to get us hooked on their freaking evil creations.) So, basically, I think you are on to something. Keep working it!
Another thing that many people have found helpful is repeating positive mental loops or affirmations. Like, "I will not game today." If you write that down 15 times every morning, or type it 15 times into your laptop or phone (that's a lot of thumbing, however), then it seems like it helps to imprint the idea on your brain. And after all, the problem with the gaming is that we've just developed a bad habit, which is like imprinting an activity on our brains. So, let's replace it with a new habit, one that does not involve gaming. It can work.
I got this positive mental loop idea from Mind Hacking, which is a free ebook you can download at http://www.mindhacki.ng/. It's a pretty good book and largely science-backed, if you're into that kind of thing. (I am.)
Thanks to all for being here and for your help and support as I am at around 10 months without gaming. (I forget the exact date; need to get one of those apps TexasStew is talking about.)
McPhee - the app I found is called "Day Counter". I looked at a couple, but liked this one because of the widget.
I know what you mean about competition being such a driving force as I believe that is what drew me into gaming too. That is why I needed another challenge to replace the one of strategizing my next moves in the game, which for me also meant finding a time to do it when I could hide it.
One more day of sobriety can be far more challenging than advancing in any game and I am slowing staring to discover the positive feeling lasts longer than the instantaneous feeling from playing the game.
I choose to not game today.
Shawn
—
Shawn
My world is not falling apart, it is falling into place
I like McPhee's "not planning to game today" and Texas Stew's "choose not to game today". I've actually been saying similar things to myself along the way. I'm a planner so if I have it firm in my brain that that's not in today's plan it helps. I like the idea of a counter widget but at the same time it scares me too. I could see myself getting obsessed with it.
Texas Stew, I had gotten to where I didn't even close my office door and was doing it on my work pc and when my credits were gone switch to my iphone until my pc credits restored. I didn't even care. My job and work life has been really overwhelming to me for a quite a while and I have hated to be there and felt lost so that was my escape. In the last couple of days I've started some new projects that I'm really excited about and am reaching out to co-workers to collaborate rather than shutting them out. I can't remember the last time I felt like this. I hope it lasts.
I went to my Celebrate Recovery meeting last night and mentioned about this site and one girl in my group (also a gamer and an alcoholic) had a fit about it being online. That made me kind of question if I should be allowing myself to be part of the group, but the more I've thought about it, I believe this has been good for me reading stories and being able to share. I'm kind of using it as a reward for getting real work done at work instead of making my stats look good. So far I've been able to limit my time to checking 3 to 5 times a day. I don't think that's too bad considering what I could be doing. It's a process and I need rewards. I AM a gamer after all ;)
Also, it's amazing how clear I feel. I didn't even realize I was "foggy"! I'm glad to be sober and really happy for one more day clean!
Last night was a little difficult because for the first time since this recovery began I had a conversation with my 7yr old about it. He plays the same game as my main one, and asked me to give him something. I explained to him that Dad wasn't playing any more and I had uninstalled it from my devices. Then he was playing it next to me as I watched. It was tough because there was a moment where I thought I could sign on to donate to him, but I didn't....I stayed strong.
I know having a more serious conversation with him about why is something that is coming down the road, but I am not ready for that yet.
The good thing for me is my day counter went up by 1 when I woke up this morning :)
I choose not to game today.
—
Shawn
My world is not falling apart, it is falling into place
Celerec8 and Texas Stew, you are sounding very strong. Seeing and feeling the benefits of not gaming is a powerful motivator to avoid the games. Urges will strike, however, so you need a plan for dealing with them.
Step one is to identify your cues or trip wires or whatever you want to call them. Monitor your thoughts and feelings. When you get an urge to game, make a note of it. Just marking an x on a piece of paper you carry in your pocket will do. Becoming more aware of the circumstances that lead you to game -- stress, anger, hunger, exhaustion, loneliness and boredom are common urge-creating feelings -- will help you to be ready when they come.
Next, come up with something else to do beside game that gives you a similar reward. If stress is what drives you to game, try taking a break, going for a walk, getting some exercise, meditating, talking to a friend or something like that. You are likely to find that you can get a similar reward from something that's not so harmful. Think about it and try several things.
Try to see trouble spots coming. If you tend to game on the weekends, be ready. Shedule activities that will get you away from the computer, phone or console. If you game after a hard day at work, prepare for something else to do when you get off. Arrange to meet friends for drinks, hit the gym, go to a movie. etc. It doesn't have to be anything hard or self-improving. Make it a pleasant activity, a reward for not gaming.
You can do this. Compulsive gaming has been recognized as a problem for a while. It's a real thing. So are the ways to deal with it. Keep fighting and don't give up. And enjoy the rewards of not gaming. I can tell you, as I bear down a year off the games, life without games is truly wonderful.
I volunteered to take a shift at work today. The Saturdays that I work are in the library in a room where my computer terminal is fairly out of view and usually Saturdays are slow and I game the whole time. Today I volunteered for someone in a different position out in the open and I brought real work. I cannot believe I have done real work the whole time. Last night my daughter and I went out for supper and played board games while my husband and other daughter went out together. I'm proud of me!
Celerec8, that is great! I am proud of you too! And I really appreciate you sharing your success with us. It's important for all of us to know that this problem can be beaten. Sometimes it seems hopeless. Thanks much.
I was very tempted just now to game after an exhausting day at school, but I logged onto Olga instead. I was glad that I did. I just reset my website-blocking application for another maximum 24 hours, and I'm planning to get on here regularly, every 24 hours, just to motivate me to block my games for one more day. I've made a very clear rule for myself stating that I can only use the internet for homework and Olga, and, after homework, I can only use it for non-game-related things on the internet. This plan is already making me feel good because I know that I'll have no time wasted if I'll simply follow it. I've also read somewhere on this forum and decided that I should "live the solution, not the problem," and this guideline has helped me immensely throughout today, when I wanted to spend time regretting for my gaming addiction. I calculated yesterday that I've spent at least 20% of my time alive last year on gaming, and I know that I can become far better in other aspects of my life if I devoted those thousands of hours on meaningful activities and studies.
All I am thinking about right now is: I have no plans to game today.
Thank you Olga.
—
"The trouble--it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found." - Home
BrandNewDay, you are sounding great! That's very smart to use the blocking software. You'll find that time is your friend. The more the days and weeks and months of game-free living pile up, the easier it will be to resist urges when they crop up. The urges also get weaker and less frequent. Every minute that goes by, you get better able to live without excessive gaming. Excellent!
48 days without gaming and I'm feeling fine! Had a few cravings last week, can't really explain why though. But I resisted the temptations easily :)
I'm on sickleave since a few days, already doing better and spending the time home watching series. I feel I could be more productive, because even when I'm feeling right I'm not that produtive. Well, I'm productive at work 8 hours a day, so maybe that's enough? ^^
Anewho, congrats on notching 48 game-free days. You are on a roll!
BrandNewDay, well done not gaming today. Please do keep posting and letting us know how you are doing. I am confident you can get the games out of your life.
Everything is crashing and burning at work today. I really would love something to escape to but my fear of a binge is stronger than the urge to game. Not going to game. Congrats everybody on another day clean. We can do this.
I'm about to have a test on this monday. I have been relapsing for 3 hrs and decided to delete my account but I got a lot of small relapse so often lately. I decided to play and then I feel guilty and delete my games. I'm glad everyone is doing great! I'm learning everytime I relapse! I think I don't have that much negative impact whether to decide to quit or not. Thank you all : )
—
Game free since 19th October 2015 !!!!
"Once you addict to something, you lose freedom to everything"
celerec8, I hear you about the fear factor. I really like my life without gaming -- a lot. That's great motivation to avoid games. But I also have a very strong fear about going back to that messed-up way of living before. That fear may be even stronger than the love for game-free living. I don't think it's an unreasonable fear. I really hate being a game slave. Anyway, people say it's better to be motivated by love or liking than fear or hate, but in this case I think whatever keeps you away from the games is great. Keep fighting! Envision yourself overcoming the obstacles and winning this struggle.
ahimsa, that's a great attitude about learning from relapses. Not that many people (at least, not many who visit here) just decide to quit gaming, quit and never have another problem with it. Relapses are pretty much the norm. That doesn't mean you shouldn't try not to relapse. It does mean that if you slip, you haven't failed. It's part of the process. Every time you delete a game, every time you resist an urge, every time you go a day without gaming, you're getting stronger and developing a new habit of living without games. You are getting there. Don't give up. Keep resisting those urges. They get weaker and less frequent over time. They may never go away completely, but they get easier and easier to resist. You have a great attitude!
I am good. No plans to game today. I'm going to be off the grid for several days on a ski trip, so no posting for a while. All take care and remember to avoid these wretched computer games.
I'm counting up to the third day. It's very hard for me, because today's a Saturday, when I usually play games for the whole day. I know that I am dysfunctional on the previous Saturdays because of that, and I'm a bit scared of losing my sobriety after two game free days. I'm going to not play games today. I'll try my best. Olga keeps me accountable.
—
"The trouble--it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found." - Home
BrandNewDay, you can do this. Don't think about it in terms of an entire day. Sometimes all we can do is 5 minutes at a time. Your desire to keep trying is inspiring. Don't give up. Keep checking into OLGA. Form accountability relationships. PM people. You can do this.
McPhee, have fun and stay clean. ;)
Saturdays are hard but luckily I have plenty to do today so no time for gaming.
I have come up with a lot of stuff that I like doing or would like to do, and I think it may be too much stuff. There are only 24 hours in the day, and I like to spend some of them sleeping. So I am thinking I may need to prioritize. My plans and objectives and dreams include: making lots of money as a writer, investing in real estate, becoming a published fiction writer, achieving some actual popularity as a musician, getting a paramedic certification and a job with a real 911 service, expanding my circle of friends, improving my relationships with my kids and girlfriend and family members, reaching some level of cordiality with my ex. Oh, and participating regularly in triathlons and foot races and finishing near the top of my age group. That's a lot. Just keeping track of how I'm doing on all that stuff is something of a project. I like hitting a variety of things a lick or two each day, and that can be an effective method of getting somewhere. But still, it's hard to hit on even most of these projects once a day. So, what do I want to take off of there? I don't know.
I do know that if I were spending 16 hours a day gaming whenever possible, and sometimes when not possible, none of this would even be remotely conceivable. What a blessing it is to have games out of my life. Today I try to treat real life as a sort of a game. When I'm reading news articles and blog posts and other things looking for ideas for articles, for example, I try to approach it as if I were exploring a new level of the dungeon, on the alert for valuable items of armor, weapons, magic spells, etc. It's really not that much different. And it makes what could be a boring, frustrating task much more interesting and engaging.
So I don't know. Maybe I can keep trying to move forward on all those fronts and keep treating life like a game where I have to balance many competing demands on resources. I'm thinking the paramedic certificate may have to go, however. That would be an 18-month effort, and pretty intense. It's not an easy course of study by any means. It would make it very hard to keep up on the rest of them, if I go to paramedic school. Anyway...
Many thanks to all of you who read and post here. Without you, I would still be buried in games and basically hating life. Now, I don't. That's worth a lot. No plans to game today.
My ideal day:
what my ideal day looks like? i asked myself this question many times and have come to many answers along the years. Lately i have read in one of olga members posts (dan1) about an idea that could help in finding this. he said Imagine yourself living 30,000 years before now and see what you would do in your day. This idea has really helped me to figure out what makes me happy. Would i want to take the lead of my small tribe (50-100 people)? would i want to go out for hunting and bring food for my family or for my tribe? would i want to explore the region alone and come back at the end of the day or do i want to do this with others and never come back? Well, i found i would like to be a Farmer! This is a great discovery for me! Then i asked myself why farmer, what special in it? Well, I like the idea of growing something and feel the result at the end of the day when i see that i have farmed 50 m2 of land then have a plan for the next day to farm more and a project in mind to have a big farm and make enough food for my tribe. I like a quiet growing life without over emotional activities. I knew then why i liked to play simulation games! They are built on the same concept. And as a farmer I like to have a family and care about them every day whether i am at home or in the farm. I found that I like to work a daily routine job that give me a sense of achievement and purpose while i am doing it. Now i am working on applying my discovery on my current life!
"Recovery is not about dealing with gaming. Recovery is about dealing with Life"
planner, that was a great post. Thanks for sharing your insight. I think that a large part of successfully getting off of compulsive gaming is getting some personal understanding of who we are, what we want and, by extension, why we game. Once we understand that, we can come up with substitute activities that aren't so harmful and still give us what we are looking for from gaming. You are doing a great job of better understanding yourself, which is not as easy as it sounds. Well done!
I am okay today. I don't get a lot of urges these days, but every now and then one comes sneaking in. I casually give them the boot and carry on with real life, which I have found to be far more interesting, rich, complex, challenging and rewarding than gaming ever was. Real life is also often quite frustrating, but if I wanted to take the easy way out, I'd bury myself in a game and hide from reality. I've decided not to do that any more. Many thanks to all for your help with getting off the games.
No plans to game today.
Hi everyone,
It's been a busy week. And that's because I'm not gaming! I had a hard week at work, but well worth it. The results are that I'm trusted by my managers to achieve my goals, and listened to. By them showing this to me, it has motivated me a lot more and so I understand some of the hard things they let us complete.
I think that by reading the slight edge and the power of habits (currently reading!), it also gives me a better view on what it is to be a leader.
One of my next books is No More Mr Nice Guy, because I'm still too nice to everyone, when it is sometimes not always the best way to be efficient in work, and in life in general.
This week has been a real example of how I'm so busy with either working, exercising, resting (!) and taking care of my family. There is simply no room for gaming. When I think about gaming, I think about pure time loss. There are other ways to get some entertainment, and I can link these with othe things. No time wasted.
I've not even had the time to read a lot on Olganon. I'm absolutely not classifying Olganon as a mindlessly browsing activity. It is a source of motivation, recommandations on books to read and how to achieve in life, esp how to not game. But if I don't have much time for this, I certainly can't get distracted by less interesting websites. And I think I did good.
So if you guys aren't reading a lot from me, it doesn't mean I relapsed, but that I'm busy with 'self-evolution", the right way ;)
No plans to game today!
anewho, thanks much for the update. It sounds like you are living the dream. Very well done! Yours is a textbook example of how to fill the hours you used to spend gaming with productive, rewarding activities that keep you from missing gaming. Your example shows that gaming is actually a lame substitute for the many wonderful real-world things we can do with our lives. Outstanding!
Like you I really liked The Slight Edge and The Power of Habit and recommend them to anybody. I checked both out from my local library so they didn't cost me a penny. But I'm thinking of buying second hand copies to keep around. You can also learn a lot from their respective websites without having to mess with a book:
http://slightedge.org/
http://charlesduhigg.com/
No plans to game today. Thanks for your help with that.
I want to encourage everybody who's trying to quit gaming to keep trying. I gamed excessively and compulsively off and (mostly) on for 25 years. I couldn't begin to measure how much this problem cost me and the people I care about. However, I have been off the games for about 10 months now, and it's great. I am really enjoying life and rarely think about games. Urges are infrequent and weak and easily deflected. So if I can do it, you can do it too.
Olga is a fantastic resource and the daily check-ins and group support made all the difference for me when I first joined up a few years ago. I was able to quit games completely for about two years. Then I got back into games for a year or two but now I have fortunately not been playing for a good while. Again, it's great. There is a wonderful life on the other side of gaming.
It's not too late. It's not impossible. You can do it, and it's worth it. Keep trying. Relapsing is a part of it for most people. But you can get to the game-free life you want. Don't give up.
No plans to game today.
Nice message of support McPhee! Thanks!
Nearly one year without games, congrats! I'm "celebrating" my 31st day today! No relapse, and that's because I got rid of all the games, included web games. I actually am not tempted at all to play games. I've surprised myself to do some "overhours" at home for work. Nothing fancy, just a mail to myself here and there to use it later at work. Ideas and things I don't have to forget.
I also actually take the time to pre-cook my breakfast so I don't lose time in the morning, or the prepare things and don't wait until the last minute. This reminds me I have to go and prepare what I'm going to wear tomorrow.
I don't like to have to do this early in the morning. It's just a habit : Waking up, take a new towel, shower, put shirts on, take my stuff, and go to work.
I'll have to include breakfast there. Today I ate it at work but I'd rather wake up 10 mins earlier and eat it at home. Too much hassle to eat a breakfast at work, always someone disturbing me. And at home, I can eat with my hands insteaf of a fork :D
Today it was a slice of bacon, eggs, and salad.
No plans to game today.
anewho, thanks for the post. It sounds like you're really engaging with life and putting together a real-world existence you can be proud of. Congratz, my friend. I'm proud of you and appreciate your participation here very much.
One thing I like to do is gamify real life. For instance, give yourself a reward if you do something positive, like exercise, eat a healthy meal, do some volunteer work or just avoid gaming. The reward could be a smoothie, or listening to music for a couple of minutes or maybe taking a hot bath. That's what games do to motivate you to keep playing.
And try visual encouragement, again like games. I have found incredible motivation from posting on my bulletin board an Excel bar graph showing my monthly billings, which is the dollar amount of the articles I have completed and sent out bills for. It is amazing how hard I will work to get the current month's bar higher than last month. This is also is gamification.
Think about how you can use rewards, levels, badges, visual indicators and other elements of gaming to engage yourself in your own real life. It really works. It's not a magic cure-all, of course, but you might be surprised how much it can help.
No plans to game today.
Doing okay.
Many thanks to Silvertabby who started this thread. You are much appreciated, my friend.
No plans to game today.
I had the darndest powerful urge yesterday. I was driving in traffic and commented to my son that what I needed was a flamethrower to get other drivers to yield. This led to a recollection of a game I played that had tanks and soldiers armed with flamethrowers. I started thinking about some exciting sessions of this game I had played years ago, and was filled with such yearning to be able to experience that again. I felt kind of sad that I didn't plan to play those games again. Then I recalled that, for every fun moment like that, there were a hundred not-fun moments of boredom, grinding and losing -- and that was just in the game. To get to one fun moment like that, I had to go through countless moments of real-world failure, guilt, shame, embarrassment and self-hatred due to failing to live up to my real-world obligations. And this is not including the loss of all the rich rewards of fully engaging in real life -- accomplishing my goals, realizing my dreams and making progress toward long-sought, worthwhile, challenging objectives. I decided that a single moment of remembered fun wasn't nearly enough to motivate me to go through all that pain and loss in order to try to relive it. So that urge was quickly defeated. It was as strong an urge as I've had in a while. I wonder if they'll ever go away 100 percent and never return. I guess we'll find out
No plans to game today.
All good today. No plans to game.
I'm reading The Happiness Advantage, by Shawn Achor, and he's making the point that making small changes in how convenient it is to do something can help when you are trying to break a habit or establish a new habit. Like he started practicing guitar more when he stopped storing his guitar in the case and started keeping it on a stand next to the sofa. He stopped watching TV so much after work when he started taking the batteries out of the remote and keeping them in the nightstand in his bedroom. Just those small differences helped steer him down the road he wanted to go on and not down the road he wanted to avoid.
You can help yourself not game by deleting games, canceling accounts and trashing disks. It may not work the first time, but keep it up. Even if you download or buy and reinstall and start playing again, when you are feeling sensible again, delete, cancel and trash. Keep making it just a little harder to game. Get rid of your gaming PC and get one that has a lousy graphics card, for instance. Leave your laptop at work, or at the other end of the house. Get some software that will block you from visiting websites you don't want to visit. It can help. You can eventually be able to resist the urges and not play.,
Likewise, keep your running shoes by your bed if you want to start a habit of running first thing in the morning. If you want to practice guitar, keep it out instead of in the case. And so on.
It adds up. You can do this. Don't give up. Keep trying. It's so worth it, believe me. You are going to love life without gaming.
No plans to game today.
No problems here. No plans to game. Thanks for your help with that.
Doing okay. No plans to game today. I encourage others to try some of the tricks you'll read about here and elsewhere on Olganon and try to put down the freaking games. It's totally worth it to get games out of your life. Don't give up. You can do it.
After having busy hours this day i faced some urges. I think that i need to change my place and activity to recharge my energy.
"Recovery is not about dealing with gaming. Recovery is about dealing with Life"
planner, you are sounding very self-aware and that is key to resisting urges. It seems that maybe the urges hit after you've been busy and are feeling worn out and perhaps deserving of some kind of break or treat?
The HALT acronym is one a lot of people use to remind themselves of common triggers:
Hungry
Angry
Lonely
Tired
There are lots of other triggers too, but those are important ones.
No plans to game today.
I am doing okay. No gaming and no urges to report. And no plans to game today. Thanks for your help with that.
I had not signed for 4 days, but this morning I signed on to tell my group that I wouldn't be playing anymore (my son is in the same group so I didn't want to just disappear). Then I found myself playing for about 30 minutes waiting to see if someone responds, so as of right now I am 5 hrs sober.
That is going to be a challenge for me because my son is only 7 and I often helped him out as we played together.
Please pray for me as I begin the journey of sobriety.
Texas
Shawn
My world is not falling apart, it is falling into place
Texas Stew, we're in the same boat right now.
I haven't played any games since yesterday, because I was doing homework and going to school, so it was impossible to game. This afternoon, I don't have school, so it's more challenging not to game. I will call this my Day 1 of gaming sobriety if by the end of the day I will not have gamed.
Also, I have a more general addiction than just playing games, so I'll need to stop watching youtube videos and wasting any time on the internet from now on. I'm considering this a different addiction, because it mainly stems from the fact that I just don't want to finish my homework first, then I go online and waste away my time. If I don't waste time on the Internet today, I'll call today a Day 1 of Internet sobriety as well.
Let's go!
BrandNewDay
"The trouble--it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found." - Home
One day at a time NewDay, we can do it! Find little victories and focus and the positives.
Remember, if you're like me it is never just for a minute... it's all or nothing. Stay strong and rejoice every time you get the pull to play and you stay away.
Texas
Shawn
My world is not falling apart, it is falling into place
One day at a time NewDay, we can do it! Find little victories and focus and the positives.
Remember, if you're like me it is never just for a minute... it's all or nothing. Stay strong and rejoice every time you get the pull to play and you stay away.
Texas
Shawn
My world is not falling apart, it is falling into place
Yes, Texas! On this issue of addiction, let's focus on the present, not our mistakes in the past, nor our burdens in the future. Quoting dark on this topic: http://www.olganon.org/forum/i-need-help-gamers-open-forum/ok-im-back-lala-land:
No plans to game tonight. I hope that today will become my "sobriety birthday." And yours as well.
NewDay
"The trouble--it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found." - Home
Day 2 of sober living and I choose not to game today.
Last night I came close to justifying it to myself, just to check in, but not play. Instead I went to my app list and deleted the hundreds of games that I installed at one point in time. I had already uninstalled all of them, but it felt good to delete them from "My Apps" all together.
Here's to one more day sober.
Shawn
Shawn
My world is not falling apart, it is falling into place
Welcome, TexasStew and BrandNewDay.
It is a struggle, especially at first, a lot of times anyway. But you can get there and it gets easier with time. The urges become weaker and more easily deflected, and you become stronger and more determined. So keep up the fight. There may be setbacks, but don't give up. You can get gaming out of your life and, based on my personal experience, life is really great without spending many hours a day, hunched over a keyboard, ignoring responsibilities and relationships and nutrition and rest and hygiene in order to play a computer game. Who'd a thunk, right? When you look at it that way, gaming seems crazy. But I guess we are a little crazy or we wouldn't be here. So we're trying to be a little less crazy. Nothing wrong with that.
Do whatever you can to make it harder to game -- cancel accounts, smash disks, delete games, set up monitoring software to keep you off the problem sites, sell your gaming PC on Craigslist, get a phone that can't play games, etc. Anything helps. Any roadblock you put up can be overcome, sure, but it will give you a little time to think about it and a lot of times you'll end up deciding not to play.
Develop new activities to take the place of gaming. It's a lot of hours to fill up, and it's very hard to keep from gaming when you are just sitting there twiddling your thumbs and trying not to game. Get something else going, something that really interests you. What hobby do you love but haven't had time for because of gaming? Get back into it now.
Reward yourself. Give yourself treats for not gaming. Candy, movie tickets, whatever. Try to make not gaming positive, not like it's punishment.
Don't try to quit everything at once. It takes willpower to stop gaming, and you only have so much of that available at any one time. You need to focus your efforts on not gaming. Later on you can quit smoking, drinking, gambling, surfing the net, watching videos, watching porn or whatever else is a problem for you. One thing at a time. One day at a time.
And keep posting. Community support is extremely important for this. Don't try to do it alone. You've been trying that and it hasn't been working, right? Well, this group can really help you do better.
Those are my recommendations.
No plans to game today. Thanks for your help with that.
I want to add myself to the accountabilty list. I am at work and very busy but this has always been a problem place because I have gamed a lot at work and I'm very good at hiding my gaming while still able keep my work stats up where it looks like I've been very productive. I'm a pro addict! ;) I'm actually being more productive at work lately and have had several days where I've almost enjoyed being here since I've quit gaming. I haven't enjoyed being at work in years. That being said, sitting here at my desk while most people are out of the office at lunch has got me jonesing REALLY BAD! Today at 4:30 I will have been completely clean for 8 days. I plan on staying that way. I have no plans to go back to gaming but I still have strong urges. Almost aches. Does that make sense? They are almost unbearable at times. I hope they pass and this gets easier. I want this to be the last time I have to quit! Hope everyone else is having a good, clean day!
game free since 1/14/2016
Welcome Shawn, Celerec8, and BrandNewDay I would like to share what i learned to do when i face temptations to play. It has helped me alot to change my location and change the activity i am doing. Maybe going outside for a walk or to spend time with friends or just start cleaning the house- Staying away from the computer and going to visit my family for some time made my recovery easier - i don’t think that i could have stayed sober without attending meetings and getting in contact with other fellowship - This website has a great posts and i am still learning from them - Running the tape to the end and imagine what if i played now, how my life is going to be. this helps me to recall all the pain i had while gaming before - Relaxing is very important that's why i Breath every time i remember and that means to focus and try to be aware of my breathing and i set an alarm 3 times a day to do this. This also helps me to stay in the present! - Doing a gratitude list is great too and i encourage everyone to do the same - Thinking for a little time about where i am going to be after 4 years if i continued to play and where i would be if i stopped gaming - When i want to do something productive and i don’t have energy for it, i trick my mind and say i will just do this for 5 minutes and i am amazed how this has worked and kept me active - Recovery is not about dealing with gaming, it is about dealing with life so i am working on finding out what i really enjoy in life.
Focus on Just Today and please Breath, Breath as much as you can!
"Recovery is not about dealing with gaming. Recovery is about dealing with Life"
I put an app on my phone that counts my days sober, right now it is at 2. I have a widget on my home screen that shows it. When I get the urge to play I look and that. I tell myself that if I do that then I will lose the count up "game".
Planner, thanks for the advice. I appreciate the welcomes from all of you as well. It definitely helps knowing that I am not alone in this struggle.
I choose not to game today.
Shawn
My world is not falling apart, it is falling into place
I also have become a pro addict. I would shut the door to my office and game away. I would still be productive enough, but not anywhere near as productive as I could be. It also has led me to not enjoying work which caused me to game more there. What I found since not gaming at work at all this week is that I am enjoying work more too.
Stay strong, if you want to PM me for support during work please do I understand what your going through as I am too.
Shawn
My world is not falling apart, it is falling into place
Planner, outstanding post! Thanks for all the tips and tricks. There are a lot of them and not every trick works equally well for every person. But I think almost anybody can find something that will work for them. So keep trying everything until something works. Then, work it. You can do this!
Celerec, welcome. We are in this together and together we can get out of it. Keep up the fight!
TexasStew, I like the idea of the count-up app. It's funny how we can be so motivated to win a game like that. But, you know what? It works. The unwillingness to break a string of game-free days can be very effective at keeping you from gaming. I am amazed at how I will work to try to accomplish some goal that is presented as a competition. Like, I'll make a graph of the dollar value of articles I've written each month (I work as a freelance writer) and I'll try to make each month's graph reach higher than the last. It sounds stupid but it's highly motivating. (They call this kind of thing gamification, and it's one of the things game designers do to get us hooked on their freaking evil creations.) So, basically, I think you are on to something. Keep working it!
Another thing that many people have found helpful is repeating positive mental loops or affirmations. Like, "I will not game today." If you write that down 15 times every morning, or type it 15 times into your laptop or phone (that's a lot of thumbing, however), then it seems like it helps to imprint the idea on your brain. And after all, the problem with the gaming is that we've just developed a bad habit, which is like imprinting an activity on our brains. So, let's replace it with a new habit, one that does not involve gaming. It can work.
I got this positive mental loop idea from Mind Hacking, which is a free ebook you can download at http://www.mindhacki.ng/. It's a pretty good book and largely science-backed, if you're into that kind of thing. (I am.)
Thanks to all for being here and for your help and support as I am at around 10 months without gaming. (I forget the exact date; need to get one of those apps TexasStew is talking about.)
No plans to game today.
McPhee - the app I found is called "Day Counter". I looked at a couple, but liked this one because of the widget.
I know what you mean about competition being such a driving force as I believe that is what drew me into gaming too. That is why I needed another challenge to replace the one of strategizing my next moves in the game, which for me also meant finding a time to do it when I could hide it.
One more day of sobriety can be far more challenging than advancing in any game and I am slowing staring to discover the positive feeling lasts longer than the instantaneous feeling from playing the game.
I choose to not game today.
Shawn
Shawn
My world is not falling apart, it is falling into place
I like McPhee's "not planning to game today" and Texas Stew's "choose not to game today". I've actually been saying similar things to myself along the way. I'm a planner so if I have it firm in my brain that that's not in today's plan it helps. I like the idea of a counter widget but at the same time it scares me too. I could see myself getting obsessed with it.
Texas Stew, I had gotten to where I didn't even close my office door and was doing it on my work pc and when my credits were gone switch to my iphone until my pc credits restored. I didn't even care. My job and work life has been really overwhelming to me for a quite a while and I have hated to be there and felt lost so that was my escape. In the last couple of days I've started some new projects that I'm really excited about and am reaching out to co-workers to collaborate rather than shutting them out. I can't remember the last time I felt like this. I hope it lasts.
I went to my Celebrate Recovery meeting last night and mentioned about this site and one girl in my group (also a gamer and an alcoholic) had a fit about it being online. That made me kind of question if I should be allowing myself to be part of the group, but the more I've thought about it, I believe this has been good for me reading stories and being able to share. I'm kind of using it as a reward for getting real work done at work instead of making my stats look good. So far I've been able to limit my time to checking 3 to 5 times a day. I don't think that's too bad considering what I could be doing. It's a process and I need rewards. I AM a gamer after all ;)
Also, it's amazing how clear I feel. I didn't even realize I was "foggy"! I'm glad to be sober and really happy for one more day clean!
game free since 1/14/2016
Last night was a little difficult because for the first time since this recovery began I had a conversation with my 7yr old about it. He plays the same game as my main one, and asked me to give him something. I explained to him that Dad wasn't playing any more and I had uninstalled it from my devices. Then he was playing it next to me as I watched. It was tough because there was a moment where I thought I could sign on to donate to him, but I didn't....I stayed strong.
I know having a more serious conversation with him about why is something that is coming down the road, but I am not ready for that yet.
The good thing for me is my day counter went up by 1 when I woke up this morning :)
I choose not to game today.
Shawn
My world is not falling apart, it is falling into place
Celerec8 and Texas Stew, you are sounding very strong. Seeing and feeling the benefits of not gaming is a powerful motivator to avoid the games. Urges will strike, however, so you need a plan for dealing with them.
Step one is to identify your cues or trip wires or whatever you want to call them. Monitor your thoughts and feelings. When you get an urge to game, make a note of it. Just marking an x on a piece of paper you carry in your pocket will do. Becoming more aware of the circumstances that lead you to game -- stress, anger, hunger, exhaustion, loneliness and boredom are common urge-creating feelings -- will help you to be ready when they come.
Next, come up with something else to do beside game that gives you a similar reward. If stress is what drives you to game, try taking a break, going for a walk, getting some exercise, meditating, talking to a friend or something like that. You are likely to find that you can get a similar reward from something that's not so harmful. Think about it and try several things.
Try to see trouble spots coming. If you tend to game on the weekends, be ready. Shedule activities that will get you away from the computer, phone or console. If you game after a hard day at work, prepare for something else to do when you get off. Arrange to meet friends for drinks, hit the gym, go to a movie. etc. It doesn't have to be anything hard or self-improving. Make it a pleasant activity, a reward for not gaming.
You can do this. Compulsive gaming has been recognized as a problem for a while. It's a real thing. So are the ways to deal with it. Keep fighting and don't give up. And enjoy the rewards of not gaming. I can tell you, as I bear down a year off the games, life without games is truly wonderful.
No plans to game todoay.
I volunteered to take a shift at work today. The Saturdays that I work are in the library in a room where my computer terminal is fairly out of view and usually Saturdays are slow and I game the whole time. Today I volunteered for someone in a different position out in the open and I brought real work. I cannot believe I have done real work the whole time. Last night my daughter and I went out for supper and played board games while my husband and other daughter went out together. I'm proud of me!
game free since 1/14/2016
Celerec8, that is great! I am proud of you too! And I really appreciate you sharing your success with us. It's important for all of us to know that this problem can be beaten. Sometimes it seems hopeless. Thanks much.
I am good today. No plans to game.
No urges to report here, and no plans to game today.
I was very tempted just now to game after an exhausting day at school, but I logged onto Olga instead. I was glad that I did. I just reset my website-blocking application for another maximum 24 hours, and I'm planning to get on here regularly, every 24 hours, just to motivate me to block my games for one more day. I've made a very clear rule for myself stating that I can only use the internet for homework and Olga, and, after homework, I can only use it for non-game-related things on the internet. This plan is already making me feel good because I know that I'll have no time wasted if I'll simply follow it. I've also read somewhere on this forum and decided that I should "live the solution, not the problem," and this guideline has helped me immensely throughout today, when I wanted to spend time regretting for my gaming addiction. I calculated yesterday that I've spent at least 20% of my time alive last year on gaming, and I know that I can become far better in other aspects of my life if I devoted those thousands of hours on meaningful activities and studies.
All I am thinking about right now is: I have no plans to game today.
Thank you Olga.
"The trouble--it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found." - Home
BrandNewDay, you are sounding great! That's very smart to use the blocking software. You'll find that time is your friend. The more the days and weeks and months of game-free living pile up, the easier it will be to resist urges when they crop up. The urges also get weaker and less frequent. Every minute that goes by, you get better able to live without excessive gaming. Excellent!
Me I'm good. No plans to game today.
No gaming. No urges. No plans to game. Thanks for all your help.
hi everyone, It would be great if you could join me tomorrow at Thursday’s meeting (3pm edt)!
take care
"Recovery is not about dealing with gaming. Recovery is about dealing with Life"
I'm going to live the solution today. No gaming.
"The trouble--it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found." - Home
I am okay. No plans to game today.
48 days without gaming and I'm feeling fine! Had a few cravings last week, can't really explain why though. But I resisted the temptations easily :)
I'm on sickleave since a few days, already doing better and spending the time home watching series. I feel I could be more productive, because even when I'm feeling right I'm not that produtive. Well, I'm productive at work 8 hours a day, so maybe that's enough? ^^
No Games Today.
"The trouble--it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found." - Home
Anewho, congrats on notching 48 game-free days. You are on a roll!
BrandNewDay, well done not gaming today. Please do keep posting and letting us know how you are doing. I am confident you can get the games out of your life.
I am good today. No plans to game.
Everything is crashing and burning at work today. I really would love something to escape to but my fear of a binge is stronger than the urge to game. Not going to game. Congrats everybody on another day clean. We can do this.
game free since 1/14/2016
I'm about to have a test on this monday. I have been relapsing for 3 hrs and decided to delete my account but I got a lot of small relapse so often lately. I decided to play and then I feel guilty and delete my games. I'm glad everyone is doing great! I'm learning everytime I relapse! I think I don't have that much negative impact whether to decide to quit or not. Thank you all : )
Game free since 19th October 2015 !!!!
"Once you addict to something, you lose freedom to everything"
celerec8, I hear you about the fear factor. I really like my life without gaming -- a lot. That's great motivation to avoid games. But I also have a very strong fear about going back to that messed-up way of living before. That fear may be even stronger than the love for game-free living. I don't think it's an unreasonable fear. I really hate being a game slave. Anyway, people say it's better to be motivated by love or liking than fear or hate, but in this case I think whatever keeps you away from the games is great. Keep fighting! Envision yourself overcoming the obstacles and winning this struggle.
ahimsa, that's a great attitude about learning from relapses. Not that many people (at least, not many who visit here) just decide to quit gaming, quit and never have another problem with it. Relapses are pretty much the norm. That doesn't mean you shouldn't try not to relapse. It does mean that if you slip, you haven't failed. It's part of the process. Every time you delete a game, every time you resist an urge, every time you go a day without gaming, you're getting stronger and developing a new habit of living without games. You are getting there. Don't give up. Keep resisting those urges. They get weaker and less frequent over time. They may never go away completely, but they get easier and easier to resist. You have a great attitude!
I am good. No plans to game today. I'm going to be off the grid for several days on a ski trip, so no posting for a while. All take care and remember to avoid these wretched computer games.
I'm counting up to the third day. It's very hard for me, because today's a Saturday, when I usually play games for the whole day. I know that I am dysfunctional on the previous Saturdays because of that, and I'm a bit scared of losing my sobriety after two game free days. I'm going to not play games today. I'll try my best. Olga keeps me accountable.
"The trouble--it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found." - Home
BrandNewDay, you can do this. Don't think about it in terms of an entire day. Sometimes all we can do is 5 minutes at a time. Your desire to keep trying is inspiring. Don't give up. Keep checking into OLGA. Form accountability relationships. PM people. You can do this.
McPhee, have fun and stay clean. ;)
Saturdays are hard but luckily I have plenty to do today so no time for gaming.
Hang in there everybody!
game free since 1/14/2016