Daily Count Up and Accountability

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wazzapp
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Hello peeps,

Hello peeps,

Im so grateful to login here & read your posts, it really makes my day better. 

I'm a gaming addict. I just felt like writing that out :P

I'm soon done with Arnold Schwarzeneggers biography "Total Recall", and looking very much forward to the next book on the list: Carnegie's "How to win friends and influence people". The title of the book kept me from reading it for years, because it seems egocentric and manipulative. Actually that's far from the truth and the content is great from the little i've read.  

I'm gonna take McPhee's advice and give myself some well-deserved credit. I often mentaly bash myself too much. I'll take some time today to write down why i'm awesome ^^.

Today im grateful for: My new Bose active noice-canceling earphones (lol yes i know, im a gadget nerd!), Improv class later today, Great friends, Great food, Pretty much infinate opportunity (if im willing enough), Living in a democratic and peaceful country, Freedom, Living in the right time, Olga & NA, Being game-free & sober one more day. 

See u peeps!

Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3

 

McPhee
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Oh, yeah

Wazzapp, I have never read Total Recall or How to Win Friends. I will put those on my list. I'm currently re-reading How to Have a Good Day, which is a new book on using recent behavioral science findings to be more productive, get along better with people and just enjoy life more. I really liked The Power of Habit, by Charles Duhigg too. Much of it is directly relevant to the kind of problems we have (everybody has) and the kind of work we do at Olga. He's got a website with a lot of the material from the book on there in abbreviated form, without all the stories and background. Very useful.

BrandNewDay, congrats on the 90 days! I'm wondering if your recent urges have anything to do with the fact that you're going through finals for the first time without gaming. One thing I've noticed about me is that the first time I have an experience that used to lead me to gaming, I have to sort of re-learn not to game again. This leads to out-of-the-blue urges when I encounter some situation I haven't been in since I quit.

I first noticed this long ago when I quit smoking. A year after I quit, when urges were few and faint, I walked into a billiards place for the first time since I quit and was smacked with a powerful urge. That's one of the reasons getting chips and marking milestones is so helpful. Once you've got a year chip, you'll have been through the entire calendar of experiences like vacations and birthdays and so on. You'll know how to get through them game-free. You're getting there! One day at a time. One micro-goal at a time. You can do it. You are doing it!

I'm okay. Still studying hard for the EMS interview this weekend. Before then I have a nine-hours-each-way drive this weekend to see my oldest kid graduate from ... college! Yes, I am an old dude. I'm really happy for her, even though we don't get along well. Being a parent is a long strange trip, but a good one.

No plans to game today.

wazzapp
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Hello peeps,

Hello peeps,

Thanks for posting in this thread. Coming here, reading & posting almost feels like a continious meeting that i can login to anytime i want or need =). So thank u!

I want to learn how to not take life too seriously, but at the same time take my progress seriously. Whenever i do great in one of them, the other starts lacking :P I'll keep working on it.

Interesting thing happened. I was feeling sad, stressed and powerless. Mainly because of thesis work. I could feel a slight urge to game crystalize inside me. Then i watched some really sad clips on youtube and cried for about 10 mins. Afterwards i felt a lot better. The tension was gone. I should make a mental note of this, it was very useful :>.

A guy from NA asked me to sponsor him recently. I told him im fairly new and that it would go against "the recommendations". Then i asked my sponsor and he said it was fine if i wanted to. So i got back to the guy and now I'm his sponsor ^^. I feel happy that he asked me... that must mean im not a complete loaf... ;)

Today im grateful for: Having my limbs, Running water, Having food, Great opportunities (they are out there even if i dont seize them fully :P ), The sun, Great friends, Having an apartment, NA & Olga, Being game-free & sober one more day

See u peeps!

Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3

 

BrandNewDay
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Still Some Urges

Wazzapp, for me, I've found that it's best if I both take life seriously and unseriously. I take seriously the decisions I make for myself and all my future actions, but I don't take other people's pressure (or at least my perception of others' views) on me seriously. I believe it doesn't make any sense that I should change my behavior only because it's different from others' expectations for what I should do. So I don't care about their views of me, unless they give me advice that I agree with. Other than that, I just ignore these outside pressures.

McPhee, your explanation for a possible source for my new urges makes a lot of sense, but, right now, I feel like I actually have the least pressure from school and homework all together, because I've found a new strategy that's been helping me finish homework on time, and, thus, reducing stress levels. Which I know is a good thing. BUT, I've become so used to being under high pressure from the wasteful habits and gaming addiction three months ago that now I just want to keep that same level of stress. I sense that I might want to medidate a little bit and calm down. It's not a good strategy to deliberately stress myself to get back that feeling. 

It's interesting how my brain subconsciously wants me to stop improving my life, because it's reducing stress. Yeah. I think I will go with medidation and being extra careful around games right now. 

I almost watched a video on games today, but, at the last second, I closed that tab on my browser. I shall now stop this urge as well, and try to get away from the environment in which I'm most likely to want to game.

I will not game today.

"The trouble--it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found." - Home

wazzapp
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Hello peeps!

Hello peeps!

Today I was hanging out at a family birthday. I felt unconfourtable as some of them where getting drunk and emotional. There was also some arguments. Got out of there and went to NA. I could feel that I needed it. I never before thought these situations where wierd, probably because I've been so used to it. But when I take a step back and compare i now view it as misery. Oh well :P

Today im grateful for: Great friends.. each and every one of them, My apartment, My new earphones, Audible, Opportunities, That I have the ability to improve my life situation, Toastmasters speaking club, NA & Olga, Being game-free & sober one more day. 

See u peeps (:

Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3

 

freeatlast.
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A humble start

I decided to put my words here as I want to start a new beginning so I think that this will help. I admit, I had a short relapse today but I want to make sure it wont happen again that easily. So for now, thank you for being with me.

"If you wish to succeed in life, make perseverance your bosom friend, experience your wise counselor, caution your elder brother, and hope your guardian genius. " - Joseph Addison

BrandNewDay
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Super Strong Urge Today!

Gosh! I just downloaded Steam and deleted it again. Almost played it. I went so far. But, luckily, someone knocked on my door and I reminded myself of how far I'd come. I cannot just do this so easily. It's crazy.

I don't know how to overcome this urge to play games at all, and this has been going on for more than a week now. I wonder how much longer this urge is going to last. But I'll hold tight to the saying, "This too shall pass."

Wish me luck.

I will not game for today.

I will not game today!

"The trouble--it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found." - Home

BrandNewDay
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Posting daily again

I want to post daily on here again. I really think that this daily commitment helped me when I just quit gaming three months ago. I want to do this and prevent gaming again. Three weeks until the end of the school year. This time will be tough, but, as long as I don't game, I will be fine. 

I will not game today.

"The trouble--it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found." - Home

Isyckle
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9 months and a few

Wazzapp: I can understand how this family reunion could have affected you. Your environment is the only thing that can make you evolve. Fortunately you made the right move and went to NA. I don't see the same people that I used to since I am in recovery. The roommate plays games all the time. This is my actual environment, not the best. Thank you so much for when you greeted me to OLGA over 9 months ago, I have evolved so much since. Thank you.

freeatlast.: Geetings, like Brandnewday says, a daily commitment will help you out in your journey to recovery, welcome aboard.

BrandNewDay: Close call! It's hard to resist one own's temptation to listen to that little voice that asks and want to play. Well done though, you won this round. Keep up the good work.

McPhee: I like the part where you talk about micro-goals. One day at a time.

I am now 9 months game free, Thank you people. It wouldn't be possible without you, your shared experiences and love. I cannot moderate my gaming consumption, therefore I can not allow any margin of errors, or else I will ruin everything I am working toward since last year.

Thank you all and see you soon.

I will not game today.

 

Facing what consumes you, is the only way to be free. -Hatebreed

wazzapp
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Wow happy to see so much

Wow happy to see so much activity in this thread

Freeatleast, congratulations on making it to this forum :) happy to have u here!

Islycke, nice of you to check-in and tell us how ur doing =) we are fortunate to have members like u to show the way!

Today im a grateful gaming-addict. Meetings teach me so much. I learn how to listen without interrupting and giving my opinion. I get to just talk un-interrupted & non-filtered and it helps a lot to put words on my thoughts and feelings. I even get a feeling of being important as im responsible for opening a meeting on tuesdays & just recently became a sponsor. 

Today im grateful for: You guys posting here, NA & Olga, Being game-free & sober one more day

See u peeps!

Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3

 

McPhee
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Still at it

BrandNewDay, you nailed it with your attitude of taking your efforts seriously but not taking seriously others' attitudes toward you or approval of you. To me, that's the Holy Grail. One of my bedrock mottos is: "Never give anybody else the power to control the way you feel about yourself." It's not always easy to hang on to that power. But I am better at it than I used to be. Thanks for the insight.

Lsyckle, congrats on the nine months!

Freeatlast, we are with you. This can be a tough challenge, but lots of people succeed with it and you can too. Don't give up!

Wazzapp, you are sounding good. Keep it up!

I am on lunch break from a daylong interview process for a part-time 911 EMS job. I've done the best I could to be ready for this day and still feel unsure about my prospects. But, as I just declared, I can't control what other people think of me or will do. I can control what I do. I'm here, have prepared as well as I could and am giving it my best. That's going to have to be enough, come what may. It'll be interesting to see how it turns out,

No plans to game today. Thanks for your help with that.

freeatlast.
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Second day , Second chance

Two days passed and I feel so much better than when I played even a little. I still have thougths that I have to run away from and fantasising sometimes but boy, my mind sure likes the rush... I feel like i became addicted to that feeling of high than the real gaming but anyway i had some great time with family, work and school but I need to be thankful for what i am and what I will be. I medidate and pray a lot also which really helps me and I avoid the technology as much as possible and, of course I live by one day at a time. Thank you for encouraging me. See you soon 

"If you wish to succeed in life, make perseverance your bosom friend, experience your wise counselor, caution your elder brother, and hope your guardian genius. " - Joseph Addison

BrandNewDay
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No games today.

I need to commit to no gaming later today.

I will not game today. 3 months 1 week and 2 days now.

Thank you all for your constant support.

"The trouble--it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found." - Home

McPhee
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Hanging in

freeatlast, that's great news! Congratz on the two days! I don't know if the early days are always the hardest. Sometimes it seems like later on, when urges come out of the blue and your guard is down, are pretty hard too. But the early days are usually not easy. That's for sure. You've really accomplished something. Is there anyway you could reward yourself? Buy yourself something you've been wanting? Eat an indulgent treat? Etc? Gaming is not a good reward, obviously, but I've found I do better at breaking habits when I try to make breaking the habit more enjoyable. Good work!

BrandNewDay, you are doing great! Are you about through with finals? I'm thinking it must be stressful now so you need to be alert for urges and have a plan for dealing them.

I spent the weekend with my 83-year-old mother and was amazed to find out she has a habit of playing Freecell. She will go out and weed her garden for a while, then come in and play Freecell as a reward. She seems almost compulsive about it. She remains very active and involved and productive, even for somebody a lot younger. But it was striking to see how a woman born in 1932 can show signs of having a problem with computer games. It's sort of a universal human susceptibility, I suspect.

I'm good. No plans to game today.

BrandNewDay
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Keep on going

Freeatlast, you can do it if you pay attention to gaming urges and are careful around any situation that triggers an impulse to game. Congrats on two days already!

McPhee, good luck on your interview! I still have two weeks until the finals, then Summer vacation after that. I'm not going to play games before the finals. I also don't want to play games during the summer. I remember how my summer was ruined last year from me playing games until midnight every day. 

I will not game today.

"The trouble--it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found." - Home

freeatlast.
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A painful experience

Today was a really bad day. I wasnt strong enough to clear my thoughts of gaming and stay away and I screwed it up. I guess that I must stay really, really far from the PC next time haha. BUT the good thing is that I dont want to stay miserable. Good luck to everyone who is on the path to freedom 

"If you wish to succeed in life, make perseverance your bosom friend, experience your wise counselor, caution your elder brother, and hope your guardian genius. " - Joseph Addison

wazzapp
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Hello peeps! So thankful that

Hello peeps! So thankful that i can login here and read your posts. Thanks for sharing.

Freeatlast, awesome that u came back to the forum immediately. That takes some great strength and courage on your part.  If it keeps happening u could perhaps also look for face-to-face help. I can relate a lot to ur experience, i have relapsed many times myself, the most important thing is that u come back here =).

Today was pretty chill. Was laying in bed listening to my favorite spiritual-teacher Eckhart Tolle. Cooked a nice brunch with a girl im seeing. Worked & went to improv class. Met a friend, and then another friend. Now im getting to bed (relatively early for being me). Gonna try to be at the university library by 9 am tmr so i can work on my thesis. 

Today im grateful for: Being me, My earplugs, Improv class, Really awesome friends, Opportunity, Great students at my teaching-job, Freedom, NA & Olga, being game-free & sober one more day

See u!

Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3

 

wazzapp
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Hello peeps!

Hello peeps!

Today has been nice. Woke up early and went to library. Gonna work a little soon, then im actually gonna visit a mens-choir and see if they will admit me. I figured it might be good for me =)

Today im grateful for: Living in a nice country, Great friends, Opportunities, NA & Olga, Being game-free & sober =)

See u

Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3

 

McPhee
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Still in the game

Freeatleast, slips and relapses suck, but they can be overcome. Everybody slips, pretty much. The fact that you did absolutely does not mean you can not eventually succeed. Backsliding is part of the process. That doesn't mean you should happily backslide, just that you should not put yourself down and feel hopeless. Disappointment is probably appropriate. But you got two game-free days! Try for three this time. Or four. Or who knows? It's been more than a year since I played a game, and I'm not sorry to have left it behind.

BrandNewDay, you sound really determined to be game-free until finals and avoid them during the summer. That's a great plan. Be ready for urges once stress ramps up as you approach finals, and then again as boredom settles in during the summer. You got this!

Wazzapp, a men's choir sounds great. I tried out for one once but did not get a call back. It's probably because I am not much of a singer. On the other hand, Paul McCartney failed in his audition for a Liverpool choir when he was a boy, so I'm not taking it too hard. I am thinking about taking some singing lessons. Glad to see you are coming up with plans to productively engage with real life. That's huge!

I'm okay today. No plans to game. Thanks for your help.

 

BrandNewDay
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The Urges Have Subsided, But I Will Keep Checking In

I'll keeping on checking in on here. These last two weeks were the strongest urges ever since I quit gaming last time. Now, the urges have finally subsided, but I need to still be very careful. It's actually been 101 days now since I've quit gaming. The 100-day mark is a major milestone for me. It's more than one-quarter of a year now. I feel ready now to prepare for the half-year milestone. Thank you all at Olga for your incredible support!

I will not game today. I also haven't wasted time on the internet today, and I'll continue to do that as well.

No games today; thank you for your help with that.

"The trouble--it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found." - Home

wazzapp
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Hello peeps,

Hello peeps,

Thanks for coming here & sharing

Congratz on your milestones =)

Today im grateful for: Bananas, Library, Great friends, Having an apartment, Being relatively well-off, Being relatively healthy, NA & Olga, Being game-free & sober =)

See u

Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3

 

McPhee
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Outstanding!

BrandNewday, I'm glad to hear you're doing well and fending off the urges. They do generally grow weaker and less frequent and easier to deal with over time. However, as you noted, sometimes one will pop up unexpectedly and give you a challenge, even a long time after you quit. I'm not sure this is something you will ever completely 100 percent overcome, in the sense of never even thinking about gaming again. I think it's more like an allergy that you develop and then don't ever outgrow. Just like some people have to be really careful about ever being around peanut butter or they could die, you have to be really careful about gaming or you could act like a knucklehead.

I continue to check in, although it's been more than a year since I gamed and urges now are rare and fleeting. The reason I keep doing the check-in is that I have quit before for longer periods and started back up. And I like life the way it is now. I want to keep it that way. I don't want to go back to being an idiot. I figure a daily check-in is a small price to pay for the great benefit of not being an out of control compulsive excessive gamer.

Wazzapp, sounding good! A daily gratitude list is a powerful thing, I find. I'm glad to see you doing it.

No plans to game today.

McPhee
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Giving thanks

Silvertabby, thanks so much for starting this thread. For some reason, a daly count-up check-in thread is very important for me to be able to stay off gaming. This showed up at a good time for me, and I've been more than a year off the games now, ever since my first check-in here. From my perspective, you did a really wonderful thing. And I think it's helped a number of other people too. Thanks again. You are much appreciated.

No plans to game today. I hope all are well.

wazzapp
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Hello peeps,

Hello peeps,

I'm bitter today. I messed up yesterday and took two puffs on a joint. Now I have to go through this whole thing where I call my sponsor, sponsee & the group where I open meetings. Oh well. waa-waa-waaa, call the "waaah-mbulance"... poor little me :P

Today im grateful for: All the amazing people that are in my life (it's sooo awesome when i think about it), Eckhart Tolle, NA & Olga, being game-free & sober one more day :)

See u peeps!

Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3

 

BrandNewDay
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OMG I just almost played

I have steam on my computer again. Right now. Downloading a game right at this moment!!!!!

I might need to restart. We shall see.

"The trouble--it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found." - Home

McPhee
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What the?

BrandNewDay and Wazzapp, what brought on these challenges? I thought you both sounded really good but it turns out powerful urges were getting ready to bubble up. But if you need to do a reboot on potsmoking or gaming, you just need to do a reboot. It happens. You pick yourself up and try again.

It's not really all about the daily count-up anyway That's just a way of keeping score and giving yourself a little extra motivation. Avoiding a problematic behavior for 99 of the last 100 days is very little different from doing it 100 out of the last 100 days. And it's light-years better than doing it for zero out of the last 100 days. So pat yourself on the back for your very real, important and admirable accomplishments and, if necessary, try again.

Keep trying. It's one of the most powerful concepts in life. It is truly amazing what you can do and be and have if you just keep trying.

No plans to game today.

BrandNewDay
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I don't know what else to say...

I played games last night until noon today: 10 pm until 12 pm. 14 hours. 

 

I 'm quite sad about it right now. 

 

I don't know what exactly to do next. 

 

I feel like I'm forgetting everything. 

 

Sorry guys. I played games again. And I don't want to play them again.

 

That's it for today.

 

Can't do much besides writing this down...

 

 

"The trouble--it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found." - Home

McPhee
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Uh-oh

BrandNewDay, I'm so sorry to hear about your experience. However, all is not lost. Today is more important than yesterday. Gaming sucks, but it doesn't sound like you did any permanent damage. You wasted a day and disappointed yourself. That's bearable.

Now, what can you do to turn this into a positive experience? The first thing is to ask yourself: What was going on when I sat down to game? What was the situation? The place? Who was with you? What had you just finished doing? What were you thinking (very important)? Feeling? Were you Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired (HALT, a common set of circumstances leading to relapses)? What kinds of self-talk was running through your head (even more important)?

If you can take this as a learning experience, you can head off into a new life free of gaming armed with better understanding, better information and new tools to help you stay off the games. Meanwhile, I hope you understand that I do not look down on you or feel disappointed in you for your slip. I have struggled with games since 1989. I have quit many times, sometimes for a couple of years at a time, and slipped many times. Right now I'm a  year-plus off the games. Will I never play again? I don't know. I don't concern myself with that. My plan is not to play today. That same plan is available to you, no matter what happened yesterday.

Keep trying. There are no more powerful words in this language, or any other most likely. This is not impossible. And it's well worth doing,

 

freeatlast.
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There is HOPE

Hello everyone. I just want to tell you that I met the impossible (for me) - I broke through the 3rd day barrier and it feels great. Im not saying that I will NEVER relapse because that may be a lie but I really want to live gamefree. I was out for 2 days and I met dozens of people and made a lot of friends, visited a new city, went to church , work and school and I think the secret is that I prayed and meditate much more than before. Anyway, to all that think that everything is lost I want to tell you that the fact you are alive is a gift and no matter how many times we fall we can still rise up again. I wish you all the best dear fellows and see you soon

"If you wish to succeed in life, make perseverance your bosom friend, experience your wise counselor, caution your elder brother, and hope your guardian genius. " - Joseph Addison

BrandNewDay
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ANYTHING but games

I compared my non-gaming experience with myself when I was gaming, and realized how much better my life is without gaming: how much it has improved over the past three months, how I'm even better in some areas of my life, such as socializing and self-motivation, than I ever expected three months ago. Even though I may sometimes feel like I'm not doing well enough, the least I can use to remind myself how far I've come is compare it with the times when I was gaming. This last gaming session was also the first time I've ever stayed up through the night, ever. It was a nightmarish experience; I felt like I lost sense of time and reality and could not pull myself back out until my friend knocked on my door asking me to go with him to lunch. I was so thankful that I'd made friends during this time I've been not playing games. I basically didn't have friends before quitting games. Now, my life is truly far better than before.

Thank you OLGA members for helping and supporting me throughout this process. McPhee, now I see that I was a bit tired, quite angry at something, and feeling lonely at the time when I played the game. I was also thinking really hard about how I could control the session to just half an hour. I'm actually still having that thought right now, even though I know it's completely false. I feel that I've gained more experience from this relapse. I won't feel bad about my actions, but just remind myself of how detached from reality I was during gaming, and, along with more strategies, I hope to stay off games for even longer this time. Let's go!

Freeatlast, congrats on three days of no games! It's a very significant feat to accomplish. Also, it's really great that you are checking in so often now. It should really help remind you to stay off games. But, in addition to checking in, you also want to be prepared for any urges and situation where you might be sucked into games again. Do this day by day, and you will reach one month, three months, half a year, and so on in no time!

Again, I'm very thankful for this community.

I will NOT play games today.

"The trouble--it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found." - Home

wazzapp
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Hello peeps,

Hello peeps,

Happy to see u all here posting. Thanks for sharing

McPhee, i rather not get into detail in this thread. But im ok & have no plans to continue. I can see in ur posts that u care about people, and about us in this thread, thats very nice of you :)

I feel a bit dragging today. Todays agenda consists of work, NA-meeting & boxing.

Today im grateful for: Living in modern time, Having my limbs, Having food & water, being relatively healthy, NA & Olga, being game-free & sober.

See u =)

Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3

 

wazzapp
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The reason i think why i was

The reason i think why i was feeling bitter today was cause a girl im seeing decided to "break up" with me last night. I need to let that process through my system. Watched a beutiful video on youtube that made me cry a bit and it helped me to let go of some tension around the solar plexus area. Right now i came back now from a lunch AA-meeting. Also got myself a haircut to get a more fresh look :P I feel a lot better, energized and ready to do some changes. We also had 8min meditation during the meeting which was great. I should go to that lunch-meeting more often. Meditating in groups is a way for me to keep myself from interrupting the meditation just because i "really need to do that thing right now..."

Gonna finish work, then look through my wardrobe and try to organize it, wash clothes. I have no system for my wardrobe and freqvently run around my apartment looking for a "clean-ish" sock. Also im lacking some types of clothes, i have many shirts but few pants for example, so might visit a second-hand market and get some "new" clothes =)

See u

 

Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3

 

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Amen to that

freeatlast, that was very well put. It's wonderful to read your words about feeling self-empowered. And you really can live a better life than one enslaved to silly games. Major congrats on the three days of game-free living! It continues to get better the more you shake off this annoying and problem-causing habit. Great work!

BrandNewDay, it sounds like you're turning this recent experience into a learning opportunity, and that's smart and wonderful. It also sounds like you're "playing the tape to the end" when you get these thoughts about just gaming for a little while. We all know how likely it is that we'll just play for half an hour. Odds are high it will turn into half a day. If you play the tape to the end when you think about gaming, you'll see how you will feel after gaming all night. So next time, you don't game because you have seen that movie, you know how it ends, and it's not a happy ending.

A lot of quitting gaming is just being realistic and not kidding ourselves. We know, at some level, that it is foolish and self-destructive to bury ourselves in games. Our job at Olganon is bring that knowledge to the surface and provide some tools and support to do what we already know we need to do. And we can do that. We are doing it. Keep the faith!

Wazzapp, that sounds like good self-understanding, to realize that getting rejected leads to feelings that can tempt you to game. It's hard to feel happy about rejection, but it's not all that difficult to keep ourselves from going into a tailspin and picking up the games again.

Simple delay is an important tactic. Just put off going back to games for a little while and eventually the urge will fade away. Just don't give in right now. You can even tell yourself you may give in if the urge is still there tomorrow. Urges always weaken and fade away with time. They never, ever just get stronger and stronger until finally you lose your mind. It may seem like they will, but that never happens. Resist. Try different techniques such as distraction, going out with friends, exercise, rewards like eating chocolate or shopping, etc. Consider looking up some information on simple cognitive psychology tools like ABCs and Mood Logs. You can do this!

I am good today. No plans to game.

BrandNewDay
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Procrastinating with gaming

Last night, I set myself up to finish homework quickly, but somehow procrastinated again. Now, with McPhee's advice, I'm seeing how I can "procrastinate" with gaming when the urges are too strong. I have plenty of other things to do. Anything but gaming will be fine.

I also need to start meditating and sleeping more. I'm really tired today.

I won't game today.

"The trouble--it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found." - Home

freeatlast.
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This is ridiculous

Hello everyone. I m back... to square one. I had a short slipping today and I cant believe how silly I am. I had to work on some papers and I needed the PC, of course. When I finally thought I would go for more than 3 days , bam, I fell on my nose. Well, the good thing is that I dont want to give up but I must avoid the internet like the plague for a while haha. I will be much more careful next time. Good luck to everyone and see you soon

"If you wish to succeed in life, make perseverance your bosom friend, experience your wise counselor, caution your elder brother, and hope your guardian genius. " - Joseph Addison

BrandNewDay
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Love that attitude!

Freeatlast, your attitude toward gaming is great! I think it's very necessary to keep an optimistic and an I'll-keep-trying attitude toward quitting gaming, as well as any other difficult goal to accomplish. Good luck to you in quitting again!

I don't want to game today.

"The trouble--it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found." - Home

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Day 3 and still doing okay

In my 32 years of ridiculously excessive gaming I have tried to quit two times before now. Both times I broke down after about a month. Not sure why but I feel like this is the time. It's going to be weird when my gaming friends start to ask me what's up but that's okay. I've been listening to stand up comedy, going for bike rides, cleaning up around the house, and generally catching up on things that I've been ignoring for a long time. This is the end of day 3 and things feel good so far. 

wazzapp
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Hello peeps =)

Hello peeps =)

Welcome to this thread RecoveringTime! Thanks for sharing =)

I'm fine. Lunch-meeting today too, then work & improv. 

Today im grateful mainly for you guys in this thread, awesome to have u here =). And being game-free too ofcourse, game=pain for me :>

See u

Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3

 

McPhee
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That's what I'm talking about!

BrandNewDay, it's hard to be perfect when it comes to avoiding procrastination. It's hard to even define what procrastination is. I mean, gaming is gaming. But we all have more to do than we can do, so we will never, ever get everything done. Is that procrastinating? Obviously not. All you can do is try and accept that you will always fall short of perfection and always have a little nagging doubt that you could have done more and better. Having said that, it sounds like maybe you really did procrastinate this time. Even though it's not realistic to expect that you'll always be without flaw, you would like to do better than you did yesterday.

What about setting some micro-goals? Using micro-goals is sort of like opening a package of cookies. Once you've broken the seal, thinking only about eating a single cookie, you are likely to eat the whole box before you know it. I am, anyway. Projects are similar. Once you make the slightest move to work on one, it can take on a life of its own and before you know it you've eaten the whole box, figuratively speaking. A micro-goal could be as simple as finding your textbook. Or you could say you'll study for five minutes. Or even one minute. Break it into single cookie-sized pieces and crack that seal. It can really help.

Freeatlast, almost everybody has a few slips, especially in the beginning. It sounds like you learned something from this one about the kinds of situations that lead you to gaming. Opportunity is a huge issue. Obviously, if you have no access to a computer, you can't play computer games. Equally, obviously, it's very difficult to avoid computers completely. So you may want to tailor your computer time to some situation that will help you avoid gaming. Say, only use the computer at the library, or in a cafe or when other people are around. And only use it when you have a definite purpose, such as sending an email or watching a video. If your smartphone is a problem, you could consider getting a barebones cellphone with voice and texting only, at least for a while. Be creative, and use that excellent self-awareness you are demonstrating. You are showing that you can do this. I believe in you.

RecoveringTime, like you I have decades of excessive gaming in my past. I've quit a number of times, usually for a short spell but a few times for a year or even two. Right now I'm just over a year game-free and I can tell you it's possible to do it and very well worth it. I really love being game-free. I'm doing so many interesting, fulfilling things that I never had time for when I was compulsively gaming round the clock. Life is much, much better without games in it, for me. And the key for me has been the daily check-in thread, which is why I'm still checking in more or less daily. I don't want to go back to that. I hope you can join us in living game-free. And I think you can. Welcome to our wacked-out crew.

Wazzapp, you are sounding great. I'm glad you are not letting the broken relationship bug you much. That sort of thing can really get you down, but it doesn't have to. Highy admirable!

I'm good. So good, in fact, that I'm starting to wonder if it's likely that a major deterioriation in life quality is going to hit soon. Some sort of regression to the mean, perhaps? I guess we'll find out. No plans to game today.

BrandNewDay
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Just deleted games: again!

Did I just play it last night? Yeah, I did. But, this time, I also deleted the game from my computer. I can't play games as easily now.

I should start meditating every day again. 

Also: microgoals.

Good luck to everybody staying away from games!

I will not game today.

"The trouble--it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found." - Home

wazzapp
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BrandNewDay, thanks for

BrandNewDay, thanks for coming here and writing, it's brave of you to tell us what's happening. I'm not sure i would have that courage, but i hope i will if the time comes. 

Today im doing huge cleaning in my apartment cuz i'll be renting it out to tourists some periods this summer, starting today. It's annoying to rent out, im not really lacking $$$, but i feel i will need it to invest in myself, courses, coaching, to finish my degree & learn about myself, express myself e.t.c. 

I'll be taking a break in the cleaning process and go to an AA-meeting. I'd recommend NA or AA to anyone struggling with gaming addiction, it's been very helpful for me to meet people face-to-face.

Today im grateful for: Hope & Opportunities (even my plan B's and C's are awesome!), NA & Olga, Being game-free & sober one more day!

Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3

 

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Hanging in

BrandNewDay, well done stepping up and realizing you made a mistake and taking action to do better. Meditating, micro-goals and deleting the game are all likely to help avoid a repeat. I also always want to to ask myself: What were you thinking and feeling when you sat down to game? I think it's a good idea to identify the cues, emotions, environment, stressors, etc that were operating when you have a relapse. For instance, were you bored? Furious? Disappointed? That kind of thing. Once you identify the cue, you can substitute another activity, such as going for a walk, renting a movie, calling a friend, etc. that will give you a reward without all the pain and overhead of gaming. Anyway, keep trying. Giving up gaming is not usually something we do once and never have trouble with again. It's often a fairly long-term effort with some obstacles and backsliding along the way. So keep trying!

Wazzapp, sounding good! You seem well engaged with real life in a variety of different dimensions. I think that's great. Real life is so much richer, more rewarding, deeper and more challenging than game life. It's wonderful to see you taking it on so wholeheartedly.

I am okay today. I was a little down yesterday after learning I was not selected for another emergency medical services job, but I have another opportunity in a couple of weeks. I have noticed time and again that if I just keep trying, I can have much greater success than I would have thought. This has been the story in many different areas of life. It often seems to be not much more than a numbers game. If you make enough attempts, eventually something works. Of course, it is easier if you're brilliant, beautiful, talented, well-connected, rich, charismatic and so on. But the rest of us can achieve much the same result using persistence and brute force. I call this, "Going through the motions." If I just keep going through the motions, whether it's asking women for dates or trying to get music gigs or sell article ideas or get my mortgage refinanced or almost anything, amazing things can happen if I simply don't give up and keep chipping away, day after day.

No plans to game today.

BrandNewDay
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Great insights, folks!

Finals are coming up in three days.

I'm getting ready for it now. I need to remind myself to: meditate, go for micro-goals, not game (stay away from them), and be positive. 

Hoping you all doing well.

I will not game today.

"The trouble--it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found." - Home

freeatlast.
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Learning to live

Hello everyone. This is a rainy, gloomy 2nd day of being game free and it feels like I'm fighting against a savage beast called gaming. I read yesterday night some stories on this site just to make myself more aware of what could happen to me and I must admit, they were really scary. Yeah reality is tough and sometimes scary but I cannot afford to go back to jail and live a virtual life. Even if I would play "safe" that would eventually lead to late nights, losing sleep, health, exams, family, friends and the list continues. I must be careful about my actions or else I will be in danger. Anyway, good luck to all sticking here and let us live one more day in freedom.

"If you wish to succeed in life, make perseverance your bosom friend, experience your wise counselor, caution your elder brother, and hope your guardian genius. " - Joseph Addison

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Hello peeps =)

Hello peeps =)

Freeatlast, thanks for coming here & sharing =)

Today has been a pretty busy so far. Two face-to-face-meetings, & took a blood test at a local health center to see if i might be allergic to gluten e.t.c. Now im gonna meet a friend, then improv-class.

Im trying to build a relationship with my higher power, by saying "hello" to him/her/it a few times per day. Next step for me is praying

Today im grateful for: Meditation, Higher Power, Meetings, Improv, Great friends who care about me, Really nice thai wook place close to here, NA & Olga, Being game-free & sober one more day

See u! Thanks for reading!

Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3

 

McPhee
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Looking good!

BrandNewDay, that sounds like a great plan! I think you can do this. Do all those things -- be positive, meditate, set micro-goals and avoid games -- and I think you can get done what you need to do and live a game-free amazing life. Excellent!

Freeatlast, one of the big problems with quitting gaming is that you suddenly have all these empty hours to fill. If you try to just do nothing and sit around and not game, it is going to be very difficult, much more difficult than it has to be. You simply have to find some other activities to fill those hours. I know we're just supposed to share and not give advice (obviously I ignore that pretty much always) but this is some advice you need to hear:

Come up with some fun, rewarding, easy, attractive activities to fill the time you use to spend gaming.

Here's one way to do that: Get a piece of paper and start writing down stuff you would do if you were the all-powerful emperor of everything. Write like 25 things. Then pick a few off that list and think of what the first step would be to do them. Then do that step.

Say you want to drive a race car. First step: Do an internet search for "race car driving schools" and see if there's one in your area. Find out how much it would cost. Email them to see if they will let you do a trial lesson. I promise you, before you know it you will be wrapped up in your plan to drive a race car and you won't even be thinking about games.

The same thing can happen whatever your desired activity is -- date a supermodel, sky dive, learn a new language, go back to school, get a new job, join a band, you name it. Dream it. Plan it. Do it. That's living and after you get going on a few of these things, you will see computer gaming for what it is -- a pale, weak, washed-out, flimsy fake existence. Not for you. You're going to live!

I have been following this type of life plan for the last few years and it has been working fantastically well. Yes, I have obstacles, reversals and frustration aplenty. But I also have had a lot of wild dreams come true. I've quit drinking, quit playing games, gotten a wonderful girlfriend, paid off all my debts, earned an EMT certificate and found a job working on an ambulance, play music about once a week for pay, participated in several kinds of endurance races and much more. I have lots of things I still have yet to do: own a rent house, get a fiction short story published, achieve equal child custody legislation, lose just a few more pounds, work for a 911 EMS agency, get a paramedic certificate, record a music CD (or equivalent), and so forth. All those are long-term, difficult challenges that I have struggled with, trust me. But I really believe in my ability to eventually get there. I know I'm not all-powerful and I'm not going to win at all this stuff, but I can try and make some progress on many or most of them, I think.

It keeps life interesting. And what works about it is finding stuff I want to do, coming up with a plan and taking step one on the plan. If you can do something like it, it will really help you avoid the gaming, among other things. Dream! Plan! Do!

Wazzapp, you are sounding good!

No plans to game today.

 

freeatlast.
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Idle hands are devil's work

I must admit that I had some really close calls these days but I remembered my past, the consequences and some scary stories on OLGA and the urge passed. I worked quite a few hours (I wake up at 7 AM and I have classes and work until around 9 PM ) so that is pretty beneficial BUT sometimes I find myself caught into the fantasy whirlpool and I noticed that if I stay too much there the cravings will come and oh boy, they don't go easy on me. Thank heavens that I didn't relapse but I know that I must be really vigilant and fill my time with good, healthy activities. So, good luck to all sticking here and let us live one more day in freedom.

"If you wish to succeed in life, make perseverance your bosom friend, experience your wise counselor, caution your elder brother, and hope your guardian genius. " - Joseph Addison

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Hello people! Thanks for

Hello people! Thanks for posting in this thread

Today has been a pretty active day. Work & improv-class. 

Wow when i compare my general well-being now with one year ago i can conclude that some amazing things has happened. I was emotionally and spiritually emptied out when i first game to Olga. I felt a lot of shame & agony. So much have changed thanks to meetings, my sponsor e.t.c.

Today im grateful for: This thread and the people in it! Amazing things happening in my life, meeting new people that for some wierd reason finds me interresting/attractive and wants to hang out with me :P, Improv-classes, NA & Olga, Being game-free & sober one more day. 

I would love to open an face-to-face Olga meeting here in stockholm, maybe start with once a month. I don't know if there would be any interest though, I know one guy in NA who might wanna join

See you!

Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3

 

BrandNewDay
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Full-Week Block

I calculated that, in the last few days, since my first relapse after the long three months of abstinence, I've played 26 hours of games! Crazy...

Well, I figured out a way to block all gaming websites that I've been to for an entire 7 days, all the way until the end of the final exams and start of summer break. I've got no way to play any games on my computer now, and I don't have any offline games either. This should help me get away from games pretty nicely. 

And I haven't meditated in a while, so I think it's best for me to do that today.

I also just feel that it's almost impossible to sustain a state of abstinence from games, unless I have something else enjoyable that I do everyday. As soon as I stop doing an enjoyable thing for a day, I suddenly get an urge to game or waste hours upon hours on Youtube and the rest of the internet. Therefore, I think that it's best for me to start trying out things and see what I enjoy besides these counterproductive activities that only give me short-term pleasure. I'm thinking about trying reading, jogging, or caring for plants or something of that sort.

freeatlast, you are doing very well, keep it going!

Wazzapp, your daily routines sound awesome. Getting in touch with other people is really beneficial in terms of keeping away from gaming. 

McPhee, I totally agree that it's good to start doing some enjoyable activity. When I used to jog everyday during the sports season and enjoyed my progress, I really had no trouble keeping away from games. Maybe I could pick that up again now, after the season's ended. 

I'll see how it goes. 

Thank you all for your support!

I really don't want to game today.

"The trouble--it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found." - Home

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Hello peeps,

Hello peeps,

Im a greateful gaming-addict, sober & game-free. 

I'm increasing my meditation. Sadly a promise to myself to meditate more is not enough hehe :P. I need more than a promise to myself! I've Scheduled 3 repeating group-meditations per week, tuesday, friday & sundays. On tuesdays i wrote myself up to help organising the event, on sundays I'm going with a friend. This scheduling gives me accountability. It's been working great the past week, as I attended all three. I look forward to do this =)

Of course im not perfect. Many areas in my life are lacking, but oh well, i want to focus on the positive right now x). In general im doing amazing, i mean seriously, im a gaming-addict. I couldn't stop gaming. I couldnt stop relapsing. And by some wierd wodo-magic that strikes me in this thread & during meetings, i am suddenly game-free and relatively peaceful. It's a miracle!

Today im grateful for: NA & Olga, being game-free & sober

Thanks for reading <3

 

Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3

 

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