Wazzap, great work connecting with the thesis coach and avoiding games. It sounds like you have a solid plan underway to finish your thesis. What a marvelous accomplishment that will be! Congrats on taking steps to achieve your dreams. So many of us never even try, and I include myself in that. I'm hoping to do better.
It is funny how if I wake up at 3 a.m. or something like that, my thoughts instantly and obsessively turn to whatever conflicts I am having with people. I go over and over the offending actions or statements, get wound up with profound feelings of being wronged and mentally rehearse endless devastating put-down responses. This can go on for an hour or more. Weird, and unpleasant as well. I never do this during the daytime. I guess at night it's dark and quiet and there are no distractions or other activities to occupy my mind. I've taken to listing things I'm grateful for, ticking them off on my fingers as I lie there. I'll get to 30 or 40 items sometimes before I start to relax and then fall back asleep. Some are not very significant, like "Had a good lunch with my daughter yesterday" or "Have fun beach trip scheduled starting Wednesday." It seems to work pretty well, however. It is also cheap and easy. A good discovery.
Today is a new day, and I will go to a meeting and work on my thesis.
Today im grateful for: Great friends who care about me, family, Nice opportunities (even if I dont use these fully hehe.....), Freedom, Living in the right time, being game-free, NA, OLGA & AA communities
See ya!
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Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3
Wazzapp, I like the way you keep the gratitude coming. It's a powerful antidote to feeling down.
I am okay today. My girlfriend and I are off later this morning for a two-day beach trip including a couple of shows. Should be fun to lie around and swim in the ocean and get away for a spell.
Hello McPhee, good for you, sounds like a nice strip =)
Im working on my thesis right this moment, and I can feel a panic-attack rising in my body. I feel powerless and overwhelmed. The fact that im moving slowly forward in small steps doesn't seem to bring comfort. I need to change my approach, work in really small sessions before im warmed up, otherwise it seems like i panic... Im gonna work 1 min at a time now, and breath a little in between.
I often think that i have emotional issues. Im not sure what i can do to improve, other than go to meetings. I could also work with The Steps more. Sometimes i think i should live abroad for a while or do military service to "toughen up". It feels like my resilliance to negative emotions and my surroundings is really bad.
Still things im grateful for: The fact that im pretty social and are capable to meet new people, great friends, coffee, meetings, passed the theory part of my driving-license test today, only the practical-part left, I have an apartment, some money, getting braces soon, going to a music festival soon with some really really great, fun, inspiring people, just spending time with them gives me a lot. Great books on my iphone app that are inspiring. Also im game-free! A year ago i would (with 90% certainty) be gaming during this time of the day, but im not, and that's a big step forward.
See ya!
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Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3
My friend bought a new set of equippment yesterday, Virtual Reality, I was trying it out because "it didn't count". It pretty quickly became compulsive though.
I made a schedule for myself where I can both study and do other things I like/think is important. Gonna try to follow it today.
Today im grateful for: Great friends, Having limbs, Apartment, Food, Being game-free
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Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3
Wazzapp, that was smart figuring out that the virtual reality was going to be a problem. You are showing good sensitivity to risky situations and making wise decisions. As far as getting your thesis written, there are going to be days that it's difficult, no matter what you do. Things like avoiding complex maladaptive behaviors such as compulsive gaming, having a gratitude practice, setting micro-goals, meditating, etc, will help make it easier to happily do what you need to. They don't work perfectly every single time. Sometimes life is just a pain. When that happens, I try to just keep my head down and go through the motions. Eventually, something somewhere will change and it will all seem easier. Just don't give up, and don't think there's something terribly wrong just because you're having a rough day, or string of days. Random trouble is normal. So is random joy. Some of that will be coming your way soon, I imagine.
Thanks McPhee for posting. Yeah expectation or demand to always feel good is part of the problem.
Yesterday I just decided i was fed up with being negative/depressed, and that i was not going to be that any more. That approach worked suprisingly well.
Today im grateful for: Being alive, having an apartment, not being broke (which i always used to be a few year ago), Nice sunglasses, nice audiobooks and smart people on ytube. Meetings. Being game-free.
See u!
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Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3
Wazzapp, I'm glad to hear you are doing better. Sometimes it seems like I just have to force myself to keep moving. The good news is, if I do that, as a general rule in a fairly short time the clouds disperse and I find myself in the sunshine again. Often I don't ever figure out why I was in a rotten mood. It could just be random variation or noise. Anyway, great job!
Here is a short description of some of the key elements of David Burns' approach to feeling good:
In the past, trying to deal with one upset or another, I have attempted to apply all 10 of the ways to challenge automatic thoughts to a specific issue. I've only tried that comprehensive approach a few times. It takes a lot of effort! It's time consuming and gets a bit tedious. Also, it doesn't always work perfectly without fail. Much of the time, however, challenging automatic thoughts works pretty well. And I generally use one or two of the techniques. It can usually produce at least some small improvement. That's not bad for something that is free, legal, not habit forming and doesn't involve any mess or cleanup. Plus, over time, trying any of these tricks can really help improve the way I habitually think, which is a big gain, in my opinion. Stinking thinking is a problem for me as well as a lot of other people.
Hi all. Just dropped by to say hello. I've been game free for over a year now and doing pretty well. Haven't really been involved in any recovery goroups, but do look in here once in awhile. Have been having some cravings to game lately, though, but have no plans to go back to that ball and chain. I like my freedom too much. Have started to get more into computer graphics with a new painting program, but just as I'm writing this, I'm wondering if it's such a good idea. Computer graphics are pretty time intensive and that means spending hours sitting at the computer. Do I really want to go there? I'll have to think about that for a bit.
Anyway, good to see you're still living life, McPhee, and seem to be doing well. Glad to see others sharing in this thread, too. It's the accountability that can make all the difference. Keep up the good work!
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Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending. ~Maria Robinson
Silvertabby, it's so nice of you to check in and let us know you are doing well. That's great to hear. I'm very glad you are staying off the games and hope these recent cravings fade away quickly. It's really been wonderful for me not gaming, and I feel I have you to thank for much of it, because you started this thread. Many thanks!
Wazzapp, glad you like that cognitive therapy info. It's not the perfect solution to every problem, but it's some good stuff to have in your tool box for fixing life problems. In my opinion, anyway. I hope you're doing well.
I keep posting here more or less daily because I really don't want to go back to gaming, I know from long and unpleasant experience how it can happen, and I think this can help. It's sort of like a superstition, perhaps, but it seems protective to me: As long as I post here almost daily, I'll be safe. Crazy? Maybe.
I have quit before for up to a couple of years, during the approximately 25 years I have struggled with this, only to start up again. Last time it started by playing chess on my phone. It wound up in the same place, spending many hours a day completely absorbed in computer games, letting my house get filthy, my body get dirty, my work get undone, friendships neglected, lies told, responsibilities evaded, etc. Really unpleasant. I don't want to go back to that at all ever. I feel like posting daily helps in that important effort, and it only takes a few mnutes. It seems well worth it. So, here I am again. So far, for a year, it's been working.
Today i was feeling like pure sh** all morning. Angry and depressed about my "life-situation" and different "problems"
Then i met a friend and we started making fun of our inner voices, well mostly me.
Basicly i imitated the voice of Eric Cartman in Southpark and started complaining: "My life, it sucks, im scared, please help me mommy, girls are mean to me, i love her, i wanna be with her forever".
We made these lines (who look pretty harsh written out like this) so funny we couldnt keep from laughing. Also we were doing silly stuff in the city like joking with strangers, dancing around, jumping like retards.
All this made me a lot less self-centered. My "ego" gave up because i was already so ridicilous, there was nothing to defend any more. Best part, all this depression, anxiety and anger from this morning dissapeard.
Today was really interesting cuz i want from reaaaaaaally loooooow to pretty happy. Usually the turn-around isnt this big.
Today im grateful for: a lot of things really, tmr im going to music festival!! yay! Im probably gonna be the only sober person there LOL. Im used to it though, i occasionally go to night-clubs.
See ya!
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Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3
Wazzapp, thanks much for that story. Turning sadness into happiness is like turning lead into gold. Snatching even a single moment from depression and despair and experiencing genuine joy is a triumph. Congratz on what sounds like a really great experience. I hope the music festival goes well.
I know what you mean about the intoxication at these things. I worked at a large three-day EDM festival a couple of months ago and we took a steady stream of hallucinating, intoxicated, vomiting, stunned people to the hospital. Not too many years ago I would have been one of the patients instead of a care provider. Not these days.
I'm doing moderately well. No plans to game today.
I've had a few reversals lately, but nothing too serious. I imagine it's just a serving of life's randomness, and not any sign that I have suddenly become incompetent to manage my own affairs. Most likely before long the other trend will assert itself and I'll have a series of wins that I may not deserve any more than I deserve the losses. Meanwhile, I plan to keep doing pretty much what I've been doing, with a few tweaks here and there.
One particular option -- retreating from the uncertainty and stress into a game -- I do not plan to exercise. I may not have life figured out, but at long last I think I have come to know better than to get stuck onto that particular tarbaby.
It looks like the old daily accountability and count-up check-in thread is winding down and losing its vitality. Or maybe not. It's gotten pretty slow here before and yet things perked up. Unfortunately, I suppose there is no shortage of knuckleheads like me who get all compulsive about computer games and put their lives in a ditch because of it. So likely we'll see some more posters before long.
If you read this and are considering it, please feel free to join. We're all in similar boats here. It's an annoying and challenging affliction. However, it can be overcome, or at least managed so that you don't actually play the games any more. For me, the group support and sharing offered by Olga seems to be absolutely essential if I am going to not be an idiot game addict. I've been struggling with this weird problem for more than 25 years, mostly unsuccessfully, sometimes spectacularly unsuccessfully.
But if you can just put down the freaking games, life can get a whole, whole lot better. Trust me on this. I'm more than a year off the games and am extremely happy not to be playing them any more. I naturally hope I never play them again ever, but I am strictly doing it one day at a time. That's been working the last year or so. We'll see.
I don't know what the future holds. The past is gone and there's nothing I can do about my screwups. I guess I could apologize to some people but, outside of Hollywood, redemption is pretty much a myth, as far as I can tell. There's no do-overs. You just have to accept that you're human and you made a mistake, or maybe a long, long, incredibly long string of repetitious mistakes. TS, baby. Accept it and move on. The present is what I have and it's okay. Really. It's okay.
I had an urge to play a computer game yesterday. It wasn't a really strong one and didn't last very long, but it was distinct and a little surprising since I rarely get them nowadays and have been a year off games. I guess the takeaway is that urges may never completely go away never to reappear, so I need to maintain a reserve of wariness. Don't take it for granted, is what I'm getting out of this. I think this urge may have come up because my son has been watching videos of people playing computer games while I've been sitting in the same room, reading a book. Every now and then I'll look up and see the game. That's probably what started these feelings of longing to play a game.
Great to read your posts McPhee, it's worth a lot to me to just login to this site and read for a few mins.
Im back from the festival now, it was an interesting and eye-opening experience. Im starting to (again) question my mental compulsion to seek out new partners to hook up.
I feel pretty good today. Did some fun stuff. Going to bed soon, got some plans for tmr!
Today im grateful for: Olga, NA, limbs, living in a pretty good country (my friend told me about daily life for farmers in India, pretty harsh living!), being game-free & sober
See ya!
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Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3
Wazzapp, glad the music festival went well. I can definitely hear you about the hookup compulsion. It can be an issue for a lot of people including, at various points in years past, me. I'm not sure if there are profoundly harmful effects of casual hookups, if done in moderation, but there's no doubt the activity can be habit-forming and distract from other activities, including establishing more meaningful relationships. Of course, our sex drive is one of the most powerful and basic urges, so the fundamental appeal is understandable and unavoidable. There's also the thrill of the hunt, etc.
I guess it can become a problem if we engage in chasing superficial relationships and do it compulsively and excessively as a way of avoiding dealing effectively with other issues. This would be similar to the way we have gamed. If hooking up becomes a habitual response to feelings of stress, boredom, anger, guilt, etc, it could be pretty maladaptive, by which I mean it might create more problems than it solves. Sometimes it's best to not engage in the distracting behavior and instead confront and, hopefully, solve the problems that we are trying to hide from. It sounds like you are being thoughtful about this, which is very much to your credit. Smart!
I'm hanging in. I did some serious overeating yesterday at my Fourth of July barbeque, but otherwise things are pretty decent. No plans to game today.
Things are fine, overall. Some problems have cropped up, some solutions to other problems have appeared. Generally speaking, I am not ready to give up yet. I am very grateful to Olga and Olgans because I really don't want to go back to gaming my life away. That is a messed-up existence. Thanks, people.
Wazzapp, glad you are doing well. There's no question that some people just seem to be born under a lucky star and are talented and loved and prosperous and healthy and successful at everything they touch. Some other people have everything go wrong, all the way down to babies who die right after birth. The rest of us are between those two extremes, and have some successes and some failures and some things come easy to us and others are hard. Personally, I have a tendency to get overly compulsive about things as a way of dealing with troubling feelings and emotions and situations. Gaming is an example of that, and there are others I have struggled with, including drinking and reading and looking at dirty pictures on the Internet. It's just easy and soothing to bury yourself in a game or something rather than try to deal with stress, guilt, boredom, fear of failure and other unpleasant emotions. And, unfortunately, I can do that to extreme excess. So I have to work to avoid it and control my behavior. That's not ideal, but it is a lot better than many other people have it. I'm not in a wheelchair, or on oxygen, or in jail, or in a mental hospital, or in many other unpleasant situations. I'm pretty grateful for what I have, even if my life is not quite as easy and enjoyable as that star-blessed person I described at the beginning. In the scheme of things, having to work to keep from being a crazed gamer is a relatively small problem. I can deal. It seems like you are dealing as well, and doing what it takes to keep your life on an even keel. Good work!
I am hanging in. No plans to game today. Thanks to all for your invaluable help with that. In a weird way, I stay away from games as much for you as I do for myself. I don't want to let you down or disappoint you. And I want to set a good example to help others to get off the games as I have done. It's been over a year now since I last played, and I have no plans to start up again soon. I do the "one day at a time" approach because I feel it's just too burdensome to swear I'll never game again. There's no way I can say with any confidence what I might do a year from now. At some level, I know that's true and I'm just kidding myself or lying to myself if I say I'll never game again, because that's just not possible to say right now. I don't think it's helpful to lie to yourself or try to fool yourself. So I try to take it a day at a time. That's all I can do. And it's good enough. Not gaming today will be good enough. I'll take it.
Amazing this tread still keep the mark till now, I believe it started more than year ago. McPhee you're awesome, your contribution is priceless to this tread, you're the heartbeat, an inspirational to any recovery buddies! I wish I could contribute more to this tread but I'm still allergic to Internet connection :).
Today is my 400 days, 9621 hours free from gaming.
I'm profoundly grateful to have had those sober days. I sure as hell wouldn't want to repeat some of them, but I sure as hell really am truly grateful for every single one of them.
And most especially of course, coming full circle -- cliche but it couldn't be more true -- I'm grateful for today.
I'm probably supposed to thank God for my sobriety as well -- and I do, sincerely -- but God's always worked on me most directly through other people, I'm grateful to my home recovery support group ' BRIDGE ', NA and loving families and friends.
But God knows, the gaming urge still there calling, it's going to be a long battle for me, an addict, which is really just my addiction minds working on me...will just have to work itself out till tomorrow. Today, just for today, I don't plan to play.
I did that , just for today, 400 times.
Keep up the good work guys.
Love y'all
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addiction isn't a disease
addiction is an adaptation
it's not you
it's the cage you live in
ALEXANDRA, BRUCE K
Jamal, huge congratz on 400 game-free days! And thanks much for an outstanding post. That's a great look into what it takes to shake off this crazy compulsion and have a better life. I am very glad you are doing well and much appreciate your post.
Like you, I wonder and doubt whether I'll ever be completely free of any urges to game. On the other hand, the urges these days are so infrequent and weak that I find I can deal with them easily. On the other hand (I know that's a non-standard number of hands, but that's just how it is), the urges are still there, so there's always the possibilty that someday under the right circumstances a really powerful one could hit me at a weak moment, and I'd give in and be right back where I was, gaming like a loon. I don't want that. I like the way things are now.
So my plan is to always stay vigilant and post daily. I figure a few minutes posting is not much of a cost. And the payoff is huge. Posting and being part of this community seems to make the difference for me. So I'm not planning to quit posting. If this thread dies out completely, I'll join another one.
I also plan to watch out for back doors into gaming. What I mean is, activities that will lead back to gaming. For instance, last time I got back into it, after more than a year off, it started with playing computer chess on my phone. That seems pretty harmless, and even beneficial. But it was actually opening a door into the same dark place, and I wound up going through it and staying for a couple of years. So, no computer chess. No computer or phone or online or video games of any kind. I might play a board game like Scrabble or Monopoly at a family gathering. But I'm going to be alert to any stirrings of the urge and nip it in the bud.
Another thing I'm going to do is not get kicked off Olga. When I quit previously for more than a year, it was with Olga's help. However, unfortunately I was critical of some aspects of the 12-step approach, and the site admins wound up kicking me off and keeping me off. I think that helped me slowly slip back into a place where I thought it was okay to play computer chess. Since then, I believe Olga has been through some sort of reorganization or schism and I don't see activity from the admins I got crossways with. However, I'm not taking any chances. I much appreciate Olga allowing me back on the site and don't plan to criticize anybody or anything. I really, really don't want to game. It's just not a good thing for me.
Cheers McPhee, do whatever it takes as long we do not play that game.
I myself remain highly critical of 12-step programs such as NA and AA. I do not believe that addiction is a disease, and do not believe that it can be treated with a “spiritual” program. I believe that in any case, even if it were a disease, a spiritual program would not be the correct approach to treatment.
Anyway , I believe that these programs can be a wonderful resource for those who find them amenable. Treatment centers should recommend them and offer meetings in order to help people discover whether or not it’s for them. Because they are free, available 24/7, and provide social support for abstinence that is otherwise unavailable, they may play a role in some people’s recovery that is not easily filled by anything else. I did find meetings — and the warm, generous support I received from other 12-steppers — to be helpful for the first year of my recovery. They have plenty resources and excellent literatures which I read it daily to remind me that I'm vulnerable and keep me vigilant and aware anything that might triggers me to relapse.
Hearing other people in meetings sharing about dealing with their past helps me identify what's going on. I need meetings to remind me of the progress. The changes in my perspective, the comfort of living right-sized in my own skin, the peace -- not always, but often -- in my mind and in my heart, and the gratitude for a life transformed. The gratitude I feel for so much progress.
Although I don't have a sponsor or follow their 12 steps programme, I always have friends from NA or AA who are readily help me when I'm down to my ass.
—
addiction isn't a disease
addiction is an adaptation
it's not you
it's the cage you live in
ALEXANDRA, BRUCE K
Jamal, that was very well put and I agree with everything you said. There is an enormous amount of good in the 12 steps. Unfortunately, not a few 12-steppers are very dogmatic and doctrinaire and protective and feel it's appropriate to suppress anyone who raises questions about whether AA and NA and all the rest are the only or best way to go. I can understand that. I'm protective of my approach as well. What I got out of the whole experience was that it's okay to just keep quiet about things I don't agree with and provide a bland response to advice I can't stomach. I don't always have to give the world a gift of my brilliant insight and razor wit. The world is going to have to get along without that, or at least some of it.
Anyway, things are much better since I quit gaming. I haven't done an accurate count lately but I think I have something like 400 days as well. I'm grateful for every one of them. Every day we can recover from the wasteland of excessive computer gaming is a great victory, the way I see it. Thanks much again.
I felt pretty down for a few days, but today it's better. A book im reading is very helpful for calming myself down. Also meditation or "semi-meditation-during-commute" seems to slow down my thinking. Im also actively giving myself compliments like "your a good person, you do the best you can, you are kind" etc. It helps!
Today im grateful for: Being home again, sleeping in my own bed. Being pretty healthy physically, living in an awesome country, being game-free.
Things i did good today: Stayed game-free & sober. Cleaned up apartment. Semi-meditated. Read. Opened my mail-box (I have some mental phobia/issues with physical mails lol...), Wrote down some things I wanna do tomorrow to improve my life, Planing to do some cardio this evening.
Generally i need to stop setting the bar so **** high. It makes me think im never good enough. I talked to a friend about this, he has massively high ambitions, much more successful than me, but similar negative self-talk. He told me that the day he started lowering the bar, he had a automatic positive thought for the first time in years "You did good today!", and he was baffled by it! And this guy is a top 0,1% achiever who really has all the reasons in the world to view himself as worthy, but still has troubles doing so.
See u guys later! Thanks Olga!
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Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3
Wazzapp, great self-awareness! That's the kind of proactive approach to a budding issue that helps you resolve them before they get really problematic. I predict you find a way to keep your standards high without making yourself miserable. One way I try to do that is by setting my goal as an input rather than an output. I aim to try a certain amount, but I know the universe controls what eventuallly happens. I don't want to pin my happiness or satisfaction on a random factor. think that may reduce my stress level. Often I am disappointed anyway, but it may not be as bad.
Believe it or not, I played a game yesterday. My ambulance partner told me about this new game, Pokemon Go, that he said everybody is playing. Once I knew what to look for, I realized he was right. We saw players everywhere, walking along usually in pairs and holding up their phones in front of them. In one Starbucks, I looked over people's shoulders at their phones and 9 out of 10 -- no exaggeration -- were playing this game. It was eerie, and even a little scary. The game was like a virus, infecting people's brains through their phones like swine flu but incredibly faster. It's only been out a few days. Anyway, I installed the app and played for five minutes or so. It didn't interest me, which is probably fortunate. I was just exploring the weird behavior I was seeing so I'm not counting it as a break in the year-plus I've gone without gaming. (Just like I didn't count the instructional game I had to play as part of mandatory training for work a while back.) I predict we'll be hearing a lot more about this game. I've never seen anything like it. Very strange.
I am so glad to not be sucked into a computer game world. I don't want to be there. I want to be here. Thanks, Olga and Olgans.
I am doing okay. No plans to investigate Pokemon Go again. In fact, I will delete the app from my phone right now ... okay, mission accomplished. I'm sure this game is fun for a lot of people, but I'm not a lot of people. For me, it's best to just not play any games whatsoever. As long as I don't play any games, life goes a heck of a lot better. I'm just not the sort of person who can play a little. If I get started, I am almost certain to feel compelled to play all the time, ignoring everything else in life to focus exclusively on this one relatively unimportant aspect. It turns out that is not a recipe for happiness. I do much better in almost all ways when I don't play games, and instead focus on the rest of life, the reality part. As long as I don't get started gaming, life is much, much sweeter. I like that. So, my plan is to not game today. Thanks for your help with that.
just here trying not to start playing pokemon go. My facebook feed is all full of stories of ppl playing the new game. I haven't played anything in a while but I love pokemon. I know if I start I won't want to stop. I'm so mad that I can't play it. I have nothing else to do. My therapist told me to go to aa meetings and i went to one but it was weird. I didn't know how to tell them I'm not an alcoholic.
Minecrutch, welcome aboard. This is a good place to get help for what bothers us. It's true we're not like alcoholics, but we are similar I think in that we just have to stay away from games completely if we're going to have decently happy lives. We just can't control it. Period.
That's not true for everybody, but it's true for most of the people who get to Olga. It's certainly true for me. I know from long experience (25-plus years) that if I start gaming a little, I am very likely to eventually start gaming a ridiculous amount, like 16 hours a day, for days and weeks and months on end, while the rest of my life crumbles into a dusty heap around me. That's not a recipe for happiness. So, my goal is not game at all, even a little bit.
I work on this with the help of a lot of mind-control tricks. One of them is posting here daily. I find that coming here and publicly stating that I'm not planning to game helps. I don't want to let my fellow Olgans down, I guess, or have to come back and admit that I screwed up and broke my vow. Also, I feel supported and understood, and that helps. And the act of helping and supporting others helps me. Also, I think having a countup is motivating. I don't want to "lose" my count of days without gaming. It's sort of competitive, and sort of a way to feel superior, I guess. Anyway, all this adds up to: Works for me.
I hope you can find something that works for you. Don't quit trying! It may take a while and a lot of attempts to find something that works for you. Use technology, such as website blockers, to help you. Do cost-benefit analyses, A-B-C thought disputing, pleasure predicting and other tools from cognitive therapy. Do the 12 steps. Get rid of your computer and trade your smartphone for one that only does calls and texts. Try everything.
Why?
Because it's totally worth it. You will love life once you get the gaming out of it. I sure do, anyway. I'm not going back there. It's a messed-up way to live. This is way better.
I wanna do CBT-therapy, the more i read about it, the more sense it makes. It's a lot according to my values it seems, the idea that you can actively think differently to effect ur emotions and behaviours. I would prefer to work with a therapist, but im not sure i qualify for help, i'll ask around. I also have a friend who's doing an online self-help version of CBT, i could talk to him about it.
Right now i manily wanna use CBT to prevent panic-attacks i get from trying to work on my thesis. But there sure are a lot of areas where it could be useful, (such as honesty in close relationships)
According to something i read, depressed people tend to think negatively about themselves, the future and the world around them. This is so true of me when im in a negative state.
Today im grateful for: That i am me, i tend to be overly critical about myself, but honestly i prefer waking up & being me than 90% of other people out there, im pretty cool ;). Im thankful that I live in a country with great opportunities for personal & economical development. There's no reason for me to think i couldnt create a happy life for myself. Sometimes i think the world is "bad", but i'd rather like to think, as the author steven pressfield, that "humankind is advancing, however haltingly and imperfectly, toward a better world"
See ya peeps, thanks
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Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3
Wazzapp, you have a great attitude. I also think things are getting better for most if not all of us, and the evidence on things like violence, war, disease, poverty and life expectancy generally bears that out.
CBT is the s**t, if you ask me. I have been way into it for 30 years, no lie. During that time it's become the most widely practiced form of talk therapy. It doesn't work perfectly for everybody or every problem, but I think it would be good for you and dealing with your panic and anxiety issues.
My favorite book on it is Feeling Good, by David Burns. It's sold 4 million copies and is the best-selling psychology self-help book of all time, I believe. Your local library is guaranteed to have one, and your local used book store probably as well.
Albert Ellis is an older guy who takes a slightly different slant on the topic. He calls his Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy, but it's basically the same stuff in different clothes. You might check out some of his writing. He's pretty crusty but his approach really resonates with a lot of folks.
Both these guys have a good bit of online stuff, either directly from them or via others. There are also a number of online CBT opportunities.
I have used one called Good Days Ahead in its offline DVD form. It's also available onlne. One of the co-authors is Aaron Beck, who is maybe the most important pioneer of this therapy. It's good but I think it costs money. I couldn't really tell from the website. https://www.gooddaysahead.com/about
MoodGym is free and I have used it and it is also good. https://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome
CBT has good success with anxiety. I think you are going to kick this thing awesomely!
I am good. No gaming for me today. I need to stay focused to keep from running over the people walking in front of traffic while playing Pokemon Go.
Thanks McPhee, i've printed some pages of David Burns book. Gonna start reading it right after i post this.
Today i feel like a wreck. I've cut out almost all romantic relationships cuz i realized i hadn't been honest enough, and also confused about what I want. I even terminated open/non-comittal relationships where I was honest, cuz i thought i needed time for myself, **** difficulty i have being alone, im not sure what the right thing to do is concerning this.......generally confused.....
I've been very passive for the past few days, mostly laying in bed.
There are things that are urgent, that I postpone anyway, like calculating how much tax im supposed to pay, which im already a few months past deadline with. Apartment is dirty. I don't feel like doing anything.
I don't feel like doing a gratitude list either LOL. Anyways, here we go. Im happy that im not in a wheelchair. Im happy to live in a forgiving time & place, so that i can create a life if/when i get out of passivity & escapism. Im happy that opportunities for personal/fincancial/health/love/spiritual-growth exists even though it doesn't feel as if im capitalizing on any of it. And im game-free, and that's great.
Wow gratitude helps lol. I feel a little better x)
See you tmr probably
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Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3
Wazzapp, I'm glad you are taking steps to break out of this funk you are in. Tomorrow I think I'm going to post the very helpful instructions to the exercise on determining what you want out of life. Meanwhile, I ran across this free online course in how to be happier by a well-known happiness researcher:
I thought it looked pretty good and am doing it myself. Why don't you give it a try? If nothing else, take the four-question happiness test and see how you do. Come on.
I am hanging in there. I have some pretty serious challenges going on in some areas, especially parenting, but other stuff is going well. I have a lot to be thankful for. I'm not ready to give up yet.
Thanks McPhee, the book by Burns is great! I didn't feel the same about Caroline Webb's book, dont know why :P
Also the link seems great,
It feels as if I had a tiny "rock-bottom" yesterday, and it gave me more willing to be proactive.
Myself, future and world
Today im grateful for: being me, im atleast somewhat aware of when i'm failing, im not gaming all the time as i used to, which is a great step forward. Im thankful that there are plenty of opportunities to be successful in pretty much all areas of life, that there are ways to become more happy. Im grateful that I had a vision of what realized being that i could be, and at the same time aware that perfectionism can paralyze and create anguish. Im happy that I live in a peaceful and friendly place
See u!
—
Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3
Wazzapp, I'm glad you're finding some good stuff out there and feeling better.
Here's a very useful thingie I ran across a few years ago and have greatly benefited from. It's basically a way to systematically, comprehensively and in writing daydream and figure out what you want from life. Not what you *should* want, but what makes you, personally, happy. It just takes maybe 20 minutes to do a pretty good job on it, and it's actually fun. McPhee says: Check it out!
What, Precisely, Do You Want?
One of the biggest impediments to getting what you want in life is not knowing what that is. It’s hard to plan a trip when you don’t know where you wish to go. You need a clear
idea of your destination before you have any reasonable hope of arriving there. The following is a discovery process that will help you become more specific, that will reveal to you what you truly want in your life.
Sit down with a pen and a pad of paper. Across the top of the page write, "If I could be, do, and have everything I want." Beneath it, list the following categories:
Work/Career Money
Lifestyle/Possessions
Relationships
Creative Self-Expression
Leisure Activities
Personal Growth/Education
Make each category a heading, and under each heading write out a paragraph or two that would describe your ideal scene if you could be and do and have everything you want. Let go of all your inhibitions when you do this, of all sense of restriction and limitation, anything that says to you, “I can’t have, I can’t be, I can’t do.” Unleash your wishes and desires. Let them run free. Write your descriptions in the present tense, as if you are already there. For example:
“I’m living in the country in a large white frame house that’s flooded with morning light. There’s a rolling lawn, large oak trees, a flower garden..."
“I’m earning $125,000 a year. I’ve been out of debt for a long time. I have an investment portfolio worth $400,000. It pays me an additional $50,000 a year in dividends. I buy presents for my friends and family..."
“I work only four days a week. I play tennis every weekend. I fly to the Caribbean to go scuba diving. I spend time in galleries, and enjoy doing fine woodworking..."
When you’re done, read over what you’ve written. This is a clear picture of how you would really like to live, what you want, what is meaningful to you, and what would please you. It is quite valuable. Having a sense of this -- your ideal state -- in mind will help guide you as you make decisions and undertake beneficial actions, and will keep you aimed in directions you truly wish to go.
Another approach is to make a “List of 100.” Again, be as fanciful as you wish, but list only things that you would truly like to be, do, or have, not things that you think you ought to. The lists might look something like this:
100 THINGS I WOULD LIKE TO BE
1. A pilot
2. Fluent in Italian
3. A swimmer
4. Well read
5. An Egyptologist
6. A chef
7. A skilled dancer
8. A passenger on a flight to Mars
9. The life of the party
10. A talk show host...
100 THINGS I WOULD LIKE TO DO
1. Get up early in the morning
2. Go fishing every week
3. Climb Mt. Washington
4. Study history
5. Date only terrific people
6. Build my own house.
7. Live in a warm climate
8. Sky-dive
9. Go to Greece
10. Raise dogs...
l00 THINGS I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE
1. A summer cabin on a lake
2. One copy of every edition of Moby Dick ever published
3. A great sound system
4. A BMW convertible
5. A pair of oxblood dress shoes
6. A flat-screen monitor
7. A blue silk tie
8. An emotionally stable lover
Q. A two-bedroom condominium
10. $150,000 in liquid assets...
Some people have trouble with this, fearing they’ll only feel worse if they point out to themselves all the things they’d like to have that they don’t have. But that’s a spurious fear. Your subconscious already knows what you want. You’ve just been hiding it from yourself, that’s all. Which only undermines your chances of ever getting it; the fear of not being able to have it ends up fulfilling itself.
Linda, a medical technician, had been so beaten down by her debts that she couldn’t permit herself even to conceive of an ideal scene or make more than a few entries on her lists. The continual stress and despair of her debts had destroyed her capacity to imagine any other kind of life. She worked this program four months before she was able to write the lists out. Within six months after that, she had achieved several of the things she had written down, including a change of employers and a new apartment.
An impressive number of your entries will appear in your life in short order, once you clarify to yourself what it is that you really want. If you have trouble writing out the lists or scenes at first, just keep at them. Try them every two weeks. As your subconscious realizes that you’re taking increasing control of your life and that there’s no reason to fear, it will begin to open up. The more fun you have with the process, the more benefit you’ll get from it. It’s not supposed to be work. The purpose is simply to reveal to yourself what you’d truly like out of life and to help you break free of the restrictions in your own thinking.
And remember that your wants are not carved in granite. You’re not committed to them simply because you’ve written them down. They will change as you change, and with time. It’s good to draw up a new set once or twice a year. It helps you stay abreast of and knowledgeable about your own changing desires. Each time you do, take a look at the old ones. You’ll be surprised to discover how many of the things you wanted you’ve already brought into your life, and how you’ve begun to move in the direction of your ideal.
(Almost forgot: No plans to game today. (I have to say that at the end of every post or something terrible could happen. Superstitious? Maybe.))
This is the 943rd post to the thread Silvertabby started a little over a year ago. Thanks, Silvertabby! It's been a great help to me and, I think, a few other folks. Good work!
I am working my way through the free online happiness course and I think it's very good. You can check it out here: https://www.thebigknow.com/course/be-happy
Thanks McPhee for that extensive post on goal-setting, I'm saving it for later! It's definately one of those areas i want to look more into. Actually had a talk recently with a friend (& role-model) of mine who was suprised and concerned about the fact that i didn't have any clear goals/plans/vision. I was feeling pretty blue at the time and that probably made me even more uncertain :p
Quote:
Some people have trouble with this, fearing they’ll only feel worse if they point out to themselves all the things they’d like to have that they don’t have.
I can definately relate to this lol...
Thanks again for the book by Burns, i think it's awesome, can't stop reading it. Had counceling today at my local health-center and we booked a time for low-dose medicine and CBT.
Today im grateful for: Being alive, being game-free, Burns' book, cardio training, green juice, nice people,
See ya!
—
Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3
Wazzapp, I'm thrilled to hear you're feeling better. I read a report on a study that found 82 percent of teens treated with CBT and antidepressants got relief from depression in a year. And 61 percent had complete remission. I was looking up stuff on teens because of my son's problems in this area, but it may be relevant to you. In any event, I'm glad you're taking steps and think you'll very likely feel better soon.
I'm okay. I work on the ambulance today and being exposed to other people's serious health troubles always helps me to feel better about my comparatively small problems. No plans to game.
Working on the ambulance is not too bad. I like it because it's completely different from freelance writing. Instead of sitting around the house barefoot and wearing shorts and a t-shirt and sending emails, talking to business owners and financial advisors on the phone, surfing the web and typing articles, I am wearing a uniform, working for a company, being part of a team, riding around in a truck, getting face-to-face with sick and hurt people, putting hands on them, sometimes having to get mixed up with their bodily fluids, lifting them onto the stretcher and into the ambulance, etc. I don't feel really comfortable doing it, but it's a nice change and, at the very least, it keeps me from forgetting how lucky, lucky, lucky I am. There is a lot of bad stuff that can happen.
This is really hard for me to post, but I decided I need to do this as I need some accountability. Yup, I chose to play that first game again. It's been about a week of almost non-stop gaming, playing an old game that I used to play and then a week of looking for other games to play when my game of choice stopped working on my computer. I'm pretty certain, as well, that I would still be playing if that game hadn't stopped working.
I know why the cravings to game hit me so hard all of a sudden and also why I gave in. I've had some physical issues and I just knew that gaming would take the edge off and it did. When I was gaming I didn't care. Now the issues are mostly gone, but the cravings to game continue. Today is my second day of not gaming, and I'm once again fighting the urges to keep on playing.
I deleted the account of the game that stopped working on my computer but there's a 7 day grace period and the thoughts enter my head to get the account back, as I want to get a new computer anyway and could play it again. I couldn't find a way to delete another game I played, so I scrambled the password.....but it would be so easy to get it again. The addict thinking is alive and well again after feeding it. But....what's done is done. It's time to move forward, be accountable, and take my life back once again.
—
Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending. ~Maria Robinson
Silvertabby, I am sorry to hear about your recent struggles. I can see how physical troubles could readily get somebody in the mood to give in to gaming. I am glad you are trying to get off the wretched games again and taking steps like scrambling your password to make it easier to stay away from them. Smart move!
Gaming does have some benefits in that it lets us temporarily and imperfectly escape unpleasant realities. Unfortunately, as we all know too well, it doesn't last and it has side effects that are often worse than the situation we are trying to ignore. There's also the fact that it's just escapism; it doesn't do anything to actually repair the situation or feelings bothering us. We have learned, through long experience, that the best way to deal with troubling feelngs and circumstances is not to hide out from them in a game. It's usually best to face them and try to deal with them in some more constructive way. Of course, it's hard to be perfect.
In some ways developing a gaming compulsion is like becoming allergic to something or getting a chronic insurable disease like diabetes. It's almost like we can't ever really put it all completely behind us so it never returns. That's kind of depressing, to think that we may always be subject to occasional urges, sometimes out of the blue and sometimes in response to predictable circumstances, and that even years from now we might give in and find ourselves back to living in a messed-up gaming world. Heck.
The good news is, even if we aren't guaranteed perfect sublime lives of awesome majesty from here on out, a problem with gaming can be managed and its negative impact on our lives reduced considerably, even down to where it's a marginal impact. You've done really well with staying away from gaming for a long time. Even if you got started gaming and lost a week to it, you are back to grabbing days away from gaming and living them to their fullest. Every single day you can save from gaming is a victory, the way I see it.
You're winning, Silvertabby, and I'm really happy to see that you are not giving up and are back here trying to get a happier life for yourself. Good job!
Hello, sorry to hear of your recent struggles Silvertabby.
Well, I hate to complain, but i hate lying even more. I have moodswings, and my thoughts are shifting in between mildly positive and quite negative.
My family is inviting me home for a gathering but I'm afraid to go there because i don't want them to know im struggling. On the other hand, my mood can shift and i can be completely fine for a couple of hours. What's annoying me is that i tend to "freeze" in social situations when i feel sad. I can't hide it, and i become aviodant and vague, to anybody it becomes obvious that something is wrong.
Im grateful for: Not being broke, having an appointment with a therapist, not being in a wheelchair,
See ya!
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Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3
Wazzap, great work connecting with the thesis coach and avoiding games. It sounds like you have a solid plan underway to finish your thesis. What a marvelous accomplishment that will be! Congrats on taking steps to achieve your dreams. So many of us never even try, and I include myself in that. I'm hoping to do better.
It is funny how if I wake up at 3 a.m. or something like that, my thoughts instantly and obsessively turn to whatever conflicts I am having with people. I go over and over the offending actions or statements, get wound up with profound feelings of being wronged and mentally rehearse endless devastating put-down responses. This can go on for an hour or more. Weird, and unpleasant as well. I never do this during the daytime. I guess at night it's dark and quiet and there are no distractions or other activities to occupy my mind. I've taken to listing things I'm grateful for, ticking them off on my fingers as I lie there. I'll get to 30 or 40 items sometimes before I start to relax and then fall back asleep. Some are not very significant, like "Had a good lunch with my daughter yesterday" or "Have fun beach trip scheduled starting Wednesday." It seems to work pretty well, however. It is also cheap and easy. A good discovery.
No plans to game today.
Hello peeps!
Today is a new day, and I will go to a meeting and work on my thesis.
Today im grateful for: Great friends who care about me, family, Nice opportunities (even if I dont use these fully hehe.....), Freedom, Living in the right time, being game-free, NA, OLGA & AA communities
See ya!
Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3
Wazzapp, I like the way you keep the gratitude coming. It's a powerful antidote to feeling down.
I am okay today. My girlfriend and I are off later this morning for a two-day beach trip including a couple of shows. Should be fun to lie around and swim in the ocean and get away for a spell.
No plans to game today.
Hello McPhee, good for you, sounds like a nice strip =)
Im working on my thesis right this moment, and I can feel a panic-attack rising in my body. I feel powerless and overwhelmed. The fact that im moving slowly forward in small steps doesn't seem to bring comfort. I need to change my approach, work in really small sessions before im warmed up, otherwise it seems like i panic... Im gonna work 1 min at a time now, and breath a little in between.
I often think that i have emotional issues. Im not sure what i can do to improve, other than go to meetings. I could also work with The Steps more. Sometimes i think i should live abroad for a while or do military service to "toughen up". It feels like my resilliance to negative emotions and my surroundings is really bad.
Still things im grateful for: The fact that im pretty social and are capable to meet new people, great friends, coffee, meetings, passed the theory part of my driving-license test today, only the practical-part left, I have an apartment, some money, getting braces soon, going to a music festival soon with some really really great, fun, inspiring people, just spending time with them gives me a lot. Great books on my iphone app that are inspiring. Also im game-free! A year ago i would (with 90% certainty) be gaming during this time of the day, but im not, and that's a big step forward.
See ya!
Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3
Hello peeps,
My friend bought a new set of equippment yesterday, Virtual Reality, I was trying it out because "it didn't count". It pretty quickly became compulsive though.
I made a schedule for myself where I can both study and do other things I like/think is important. Gonna try to follow it today.
Today im grateful for: Great friends, Having limbs, Apartment, Food, Being game-free
Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3
Wazzapp, that was smart figuring out that the virtual reality was going to be a problem. You are showing good sensitivity to risky situations and making wise decisions. As far as getting your thesis written, there are going to be days that it's difficult, no matter what you do. Things like avoiding complex maladaptive behaviors such as compulsive gaming, having a gratitude practice, setting micro-goals, meditating, etc, will help make it easier to happily do what you need to. They don't work perfectly every single time. Sometimes life is just a pain. When that happens, I try to just keep my head down and go through the motions. Eventually, something somewhere will change and it will all seem easier. Just don't give up, and don't think there's something terribly wrong just because you're having a rough day, or string of days. Random trouble is normal. So is random joy. Some of that will be coming your way soon, I imagine.
I am okay. No plans to game today.
Thanks McPhee for posting. Yeah expectation or demand to always feel good is part of the problem.
Yesterday I just decided i was fed up with being negative/depressed, and that i was not going to be that any more. That approach worked suprisingly well.
Today im grateful for: Being alive, having an apartment, not being broke (which i always used to be a few year ago), Nice sunglasses, nice audiobooks and smart people on ytube. Meetings. Being game-free.
See u!
Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3
Wazzapp, I'm glad to hear you are doing better. Sometimes it seems like I just have to force myself to keep moving. The good news is, if I do that, as a general rule in a fairly short time the clouds disperse and I find myself in the sunshine again. Often I don't ever figure out why I was in a rotten mood. It could just be random variation or noise. Anyway, great job!
Here is a short description of some of the key elements of David Burns' approach to feeling good:
https://www.apsu.edu/sites/apsu.edu/files/counseling/COGNITIVE_0.pdf
In the past, trying to deal with one upset or another, I have attempted to apply all 10 of the ways to challenge automatic thoughts to a specific issue. I've only tried that comprehensive approach a few times. It takes a lot of effort! It's time consuming and gets a bit tedious. Also, it doesn't always work perfectly without fail. Much of the time, however, challenging automatic thoughts works pretty well. And I generally use one or two of the techniques. It can usually produce at least some small improvement. That's not bad for something that is free, legal, not habit forming and doesn't involve any mess or cleanup. Plus, over time, trying any of these tricks can really help improve the way I habitually think, which is a big gain, in my opinion. Stinking thinking is a problem for me as well as a lot of other people.
I'm okay today. No plans to game.
Hi all. Just dropped by to say hello. I've been game free for over a year now and doing pretty well. Haven't really been involved in any recovery goroups, but do look in here once in awhile. Have been having some cravings to game lately, though, but have no plans to go back to that ball and chain. I like my freedom too much. Have started to get more into computer graphics with a new painting program, but just as I'm writing this, I'm wondering if it's such a good idea. Computer graphics are pretty time intensive and that means spending hours sitting at the computer. Do I really want to go there? I'll have to think about that for a bit.
Anyway, good to see you're still living life, McPhee, and seem to be doing well. Glad to see others sharing in this thread, too. It's the accountability that can make all the difference. Keep up the good work!
Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending. ~Maria Robinson
Hello!
Thanks for that pdf McPhee, very helpful
Today im grateful for: Being alive, having food, great movies & Tv-series, friends
See ya!
Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3
Silvertabby, it's so nice of you to check in and let us know you are doing well. That's great to hear. I'm very glad you are staying off the games and hope these recent cravings fade away quickly. It's really been wonderful for me not gaming, and I feel I have you to thank for much of it, because you started this thread. Many thanks!
Wazzapp, glad you like that cognitive therapy info. It's not the perfect solution to every problem, but it's some good stuff to have in your tool box for fixing life problems. In my opinion, anyway. I hope you're doing well.
I keep posting here more or less daily because I really don't want to go back to gaming, I know from long and unpleasant experience how it can happen, and I think this can help. It's sort of like a superstition, perhaps, but it seems protective to me: As long as I post here almost daily, I'll be safe. Crazy? Maybe.
I have quit before for up to a couple of years, during the approximately 25 years I have struggled with this, only to start up again. Last time it started by playing chess on my phone. It wound up in the same place, spending many hours a day completely absorbed in computer games, letting my house get filthy, my body get dirty, my work get undone, friendships neglected, lies told, responsibilities evaded, etc. Really unpleasant. I don't want to go back to that at all ever. I feel like posting daily helps in that important effort, and it only takes a few mnutes. It seems well worth it. So, here I am again. So far, for a year, it's been working.
No plans to game today.
I'm doing okay. No gaming or plans to. Thanks for your help with that.
Hello!
Today i was feeling like pure sh** all morning. Angry and depressed about my "life-situation" and different "problems"
Then i met a friend and we started making fun of our inner voices, well mostly me.
Basicly i imitated the voice of Eric Cartman in Southpark and started complaining: "My life, it sucks, im scared, please help me mommy, girls are mean to me, i love her, i wanna be with her forever".
We made these lines (who look pretty harsh written out like this) so funny we couldnt keep from laughing. Also we were doing silly stuff in the city like joking with strangers, dancing around, jumping like retards.
All this made me a lot less self-centered. My "ego" gave up because i was already so ridicilous, there was nothing to defend any more. Best part, all this depression, anxiety and anger from this morning dissapeard.
Today was really interesting cuz i want from reaaaaaaally loooooow to pretty happy. Usually the turn-around isnt this big.
Today im grateful for: a lot of things really, tmr im going to music festival!! yay! Im probably gonna be the only sober person there LOL. Im used to it though, i occasionally go to night-clubs.
See ya!
Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3
Wazzapp, thanks much for that story. Turning sadness into happiness is like turning lead into gold. Snatching even a single moment from depression and despair and experiencing genuine joy is a triumph. Congratz on what sounds like a really great experience. I hope the music festival goes well.
I know what you mean about the intoxication at these things. I worked at a large three-day EDM festival a couple of months ago and we took a steady stream of hallucinating, intoxicated, vomiting, stunned people to the hospital. Not too many years ago I would have been one of the patients instead of a care provider. Not these days.
I'm doing moderately well. No plans to game today.
I've had a few reversals lately, but nothing too serious. I imagine it's just a serving of life's randomness, and not any sign that I have suddenly become incompetent to manage my own affairs. Most likely before long the other trend will assert itself and I'll have a series of wins that I may not deserve any more than I deserve the losses. Meanwhile, I plan to keep doing pretty much what I've been doing, with a few tweaks here and there.
One particular option -- retreating from the uncertainty and stress into a game -- I do not plan to exercise. I may not have life figured out, but at long last I think I have come to know better than to get stuck onto that particular tarbaby.
I am doing okay. Running late. No plans to game today.
It looks like the old daily accountability and count-up check-in thread is winding down and losing its vitality. Or maybe not. It's gotten pretty slow here before and yet things perked up. Unfortunately, I suppose there is no shortage of knuckleheads like me who get all compulsive about computer games and put their lives in a ditch because of it. So likely we'll see some more posters before long.
If you read this and are considering it, please feel free to join. We're all in similar boats here. It's an annoying and challenging affliction. However, it can be overcome, or at least managed so that you don't actually play the games any more. For me, the group support and sharing offered by Olga seems to be absolutely essential if I am going to not be an idiot game addict. I've been struggling with this weird problem for more than 25 years, mostly unsuccessfully, sometimes spectacularly unsuccessfully.
But if you can just put down the freaking games, life can get a whole, whole lot better. Trust me on this. I'm more than a year off the games and am extremely happy not to be playing them any more. I naturally hope I never play them again ever, but I am strictly doing it one day at a time. That's been working the last year or so. We'll see.
I don't know what the future holds. The past is gone and there's nothing I can do about my screwups. I guess I could apologize to some people but, outside of Hollywood, redemption is pretty much a myth, as far as I can tell. There's no do-overs. You just have to accept that you're human and you made a mistake, or maybe a long, long, incredibly long string of repetitious mistakes. TS, baby. Accept it and move on. The present is what I have and it's okay. Really. It's okay.
No plans to game today.
I am hanging in there. Not gaming. No plans to start today.
I had an urge to play a computer game yesterday. It wasn't a really strong one and didn't last very long, but it was distinct and a little surprising since I rarely get them nowadays and have been a year off games. I guess the takeaway is that urges may never completely go away never to reappear, so I need to maintain a reserve of wariness. Don't take it for granted, is what I'm getting out of this. I think this urge may have come up because my son has been watching videos of people playing computer games while I've been sitting in the same room, reading a book. Every now and then I'll look up and see the game. That's probably what started these feelings of longing to play a game.
I didn't give in and don't plan to today either.
Great to read your posts McPhee, it's worth a lot to me to just login to this site and read for a few mins.
Im back from the festival now, it was an interesting and eye-opening experience. Im starting to (again) question my mental compulsion to seek out new partners to hook up.
I feel pretty good today. Did some fun stuff. Going to bed soon, got some plans for tmr!
Today im grateful for: Olga, NA, limbs, living in a pretty good country (my friend told me about daily life for farmers in India, pretty harsh living!), being game-free & sober
See ya!
Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3
Wazzapp, glad the music festival went well. I can definitely hear you about the hookup compulsion. It can be an issue for a lot of people including, at various points in years past, me. I'm not sure if there are profoundly harmful effects of casual hookups, if done in moderation, but there's no doubt the activity can be habit-forming and distract from other activities, including establishing more meaningful relationships. Of course, our sex drive is one of the most powerful and basic urges, so the fundamental appeal is understandable and unavoidable. There's also the thrill of the hunt, etc.
I guess it can become a problem if we engage in chasing superficial relationships and do it compulsively and excessively as a way of avoiding dealing effectively with other issues. This would be similar to the way we have gamed. If hooking up becomes a habitual response to feelings of stress, boredom, anger, guilt, etc, it could be pretty maladaptive, by which I mean it might create more problems than it solves. Sometimes it's best to not engage in the distracting behavior and instead confront and, hopefully, solve the problems that we are trying to hide from. It sounds like you are being thoughtful about this, which is very much to your credit. Smart!
I'm hanging in. I did some serious overeating yesterday at my Fourth of July barbeque, but otherwise things are pretty decent. No plans to game today.
Things are fine, overall. Some problems have cropped up, some solutions to other problems have appeared. Generally speaking, I am not ready to give up yet. I am very grateful to Olga and Olgans because I really don't want to go back to gaming my life away. That is a messed-up existence. Thanks, people.
No plans to game today.
Thanks for ur post McPhee, it's very helpful, it feels like reading your ideas makes me be able to get a clearer view on what's going on.
Today has been pretty good, lunch-meeting, audiobooks, now at the library to hopefully get some work done
Today im grateful for: 12 step programs in general, being alive, living in the right time, living in this country, being sober & game-free.
See ya!
Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3
Wazzapp, glad you are doing well. There's no question that some people just seem to be born under a lucky star and are talented and loved and prosperous and healthy and successful at everything they touch. Some other people have everything go wrong, all the way down to babies who die right after birth. The rest of us are between those two extremes, and have some successes and some failures and some things come easy to us and others are hard. Personally, I have a tendency to get overly compulsive about things as a way of dealing with troubling feelings and emotions and situations. Gaming is an example of that, and there are others I have struggled with, including drinking and reading and looking at dirty pictures on the Internet. It's just easy and soothing to bury yourself in a game or something rather than try to deal with stress, guilt, boredom, fear of failure and other unpleasant emotions. And, unfortunately, I can do that to extreme excess. So I have to work to avoid it and control my behavior. That's not ideal, but it is a lot better than many other people have it. I'm not in a wheelchair, or on oxygen, or in jail, or in a mental hospital, or in many other unpleasant situations. I'm pretty grateful for what I have, even if my life is not quite as easy and enjoyable as that star-blessed person I described at the beginning. In the scheme of things, having to work to keep from being a crazed gamer is a relatively small problem. I can deal. It seems like you are dealing as well, and doing what it takes to keep your life on an even keel. Good work!
No plans to game today.
I am hanging in. No plans to game today. Thanks to all for your invaluable help with that. In a weird way, I stay away from games as much for you as I do for myself. I don't want to let you down or disappoint you. And I want to set a good example to help others to get off the games as I have done. It's been over a year now since I last played, and I have no plans to start up again soon. I do the "one day at a time" approach because I feel it's just too burdensome to swear I'll never game again. There's no way I can say with any confidence what I might do a year from now. At some level, I know that's true and I'm just kidding myself or lying to myself if I say I'll never game again, because that's just not possible to say right now. I don't think it's helpful to lie to yourself or try to fool yourself. So I try to take it a day at a time. That's all I can do. And it's good enough. Not gaming today will be good enough. I'll take it.
Amazing this tread still keep the mark till now, I believe it started more than year ago. McPhee you're awesome, your contribution is priceless to this tread, you're the heartbeat, an inspirational to any recovery buddies! I wish I could contribute more to this tread but I'm still allergic to Internet connection :).
Today is my 400 days, 9621 hours free from gaming.
I'm profoundly grateful to have had those sober days. I sure as hell wouldn't want to repeat some of them, but I sure as hell really am truly grateful for every single one of them.
And most especially of course, coming full circle -- cliche but it couldn't be more true -- I'm grateful for today.
I'm probably supposed to thank God for my sobriety as well -- and I do, sincerely -- but God's always worked on me most directly through other people, I'm grateful to my home recovery support group ' BRIDGE ', NA and loving families and friends.
But God knows, the gaming urge still there calling, it's going to be a long battle for me, an addict, which is really just my addiction minds working on me...will just have to work itself out till tomorrow. Today, just for today, I don't plan to play.
I did that , just for today, 400 times.
Keep up the good work guys.
Love y'all
addiction isn't a disease
addiction is an adaptation
it's not you
it's the cage you live in
ALEXANDRA, BRUCE K
Jamal, huge congratz on 400 game-free days! And thanks much for an outstanding post. That's a great look into what it takes to shake off this crazy compulsion and have a better life. I am very glad you are doing well and much appreciate your post.
Like you, I wonder and doubt whether I'll ever be completely free of any urges to game. On the other hand, the urges these days are so infrequent and weak that I find I can deal with them easily. On the other hand (I know that's a non-standard number of hands, but that's just how it is), the urges are still there, so there's always the possibilty that someday under the right circumstances a really powerful one could hit me at a weak moment, and I'd give in and be right back where I was, gaming like a loon. I don't want that. I like the way things are now.
So my plan is to always stay vigilant and post daily. I figure a few minutes posting is not much of a cost. And the payoff is huge. Posting and being part of this community seems to make the difference for me. So I'm not planning to quit posting. If this thread dies out completely, I'll join another one.
I also plan to watch out for back doors into gaming. What I mean is, activities that will lead back to gaming. For instance, last time I got back into it, after more than a year off, it started with playing computer chess on my phone. That seems pretty harmless, and even beneficial. But it was actually opening a door into the same dark place, and I wound up going through it and staying for a couple of years. So, no computer chess. No computer or phone or online or video games of any kind. I might play a board game like Scrabble or Monopoly at a family gathering. But I'm going to be alert to any stirrings of the urge and nip it in the bud.
Another thing I'm going to do is not get kicked off Olga. When I quit previously for more than a year, it was with Olga's help. However, unfortunately I was critical of some aspects of the 12-step approach, and the site admins wound up kicking me off and keeping me off. I think that helped me slowly slip back into a place where I thought it was okay to play computer chess. Since then, I believe Olga has been through some sort of reorganization or schism and I don't see activity from the admins I got crossways with. However, I'm not taking any chances. I much appreciate Olga allowing me back on the site and don't plan to criticize anybody or anything. I really, really don't want to game. It's just not a good thing for me.
No plans to start that mess up again today.
Cheers McPhee, do whatever it takes as long we do not play that game.
I myself remain highly critical of 12-step programs such as NA and AA. I do not believe that addiction is a disease, and do not believe that it can be treated with a “spiritual” program. I believe that in any case, even if it were a disease, a spiritual program would not be the correct approach to treatment.
Anyway , I believe that these programs can be a wonderful resource for those who find them amenable. Treatment centers should recommend them and offer meetings in order to help people discover whether or not it’s for them. Because they are free, available 24/7, and provide social support for abstinence that is otherwise unavailable, they may play a role in some people’s recovery that is not easily filled by anything else. I did find meetings — and the warm, generous support I received from other 12-steppers — to be helpful for the first year of my recovery. They have plenty resources and excellent literatures which I read it daily to remind me that I'm vulnerable and keep me vigilant and aware anything that might triggers me to relapse.
Hearing other people in meetings sharing about dealing with their past helps me identify what's going on. I need meetings to remind me of the progress. The changes in my perspective, the comfort of living right-sized in my own skin, the peace -- not always, but often -- in my mind and in my heart, and the gratitude for a life transformed. The gratitude I feel for so much progress.
Although I don't have a sponsor or follow their 12 steps programme, I always have friends from NA or AA who are readily help me when I'm down to my ass.
addiction isn't a disease
addiction is an adaptation
it's not you
it's the cage you live in
ALEXANDRA, BRUCE K
Jamal, that was very well put and I agree with everything you said. There is an enormous amount of good in the 12 steps. Unfortunately, not a few 12-steppers are very dogmatic and doctrinaire and protective and feel it's appropriate to suppress anyone who raises questions about whether AA and NA and all the rest are the only or best way to go. I can understand that. I'm protective of my approach as well. What I got out of the whole experience was that it's okay to just keep quiet about things I don't agree with and provide a bland response to advice I can't stomach. I don't always have to give the world a gift of my brilliant insight and razor wit. The world is going to have to get along without that, or at least some of it.
Anyway, things are much better since I quit gaming. I haven't done an accurate count lately but I think I have something like 400 days as well. I'm grateful for every one of them. Every day we can recover from the wasteland of excessive computer gaming is a great victory, the way I see it. Thanks much again.
No plans to game today.
Thanks for your posts in this thread
I felt pretty down for a few days, but today it's better. A book im reading is very helpful for calming myself down. Also meditation or "semi-meditation-during-commute" seems to slow down my thinking. Im also actively giving myself compliments like "your a good person, you do the best you can, you are kind" etc. It helps!
Today im grateful for: Being home again, sleeping in my own bed. Being pretty healthy physically, living in an awesome country, being game-free.
Things i did good today: Stayed game-free & sober. Cleaned up apartment. Semi-meditated. Read. Opened my mail-box (I have some mental phobia/issues with physical mails lol...), Wrote down some things I wanna do tomorrow to improve my life, Planing to do some cardio this evening.
Generally i need to stop setting the bar so **** high. It makes me think im never good enough. I talked to a friend about this, he has massively high ambitions, much more successful than me, but similar negative self-talk. He told me that the day he started lowering the bar, he had a automatic positive thought for the first time in years "You did good today!", and he was baffled by it! And this guy is a top 0,1% achiever who really has all the reasons in the world to view himself as worthy, but still has troubles doing so.
See u guys later! Thanks Olga!
Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3
Wazzapp, great self-awareness! That's the kind of proactive approach to a budding issue that helps you resolve them before they get really problematic. I predict you find a way to keep your standards high without making yourself miserable. One way I try to do that is by setting my goal as an input rather than an output. I aim to try a certain amount, but I know the universe controls what eventuallly happens. I don't want to pin my happiness or satisfaction on a random factor. think that may reduce my stress level. Often I am disappointed anyway, but it may not be as bad.
Believe it or not, I played a game yesterday. My ambulance partner told me about this new game, Pokemon Go, that he said everybody is playing. Once I knew what to look for, I realized he was right. We saw players everywhere, walking along usually in pairs and holding up their phones in front of them. In one Starbucks, I looked over people's shoulders at their phones and 9 out of 10 -- no exaggeration -- were playing this game. It was eerie, and even a little scary. The game was like a virus, infecting people's brains through their phones like swine flu but incredibly faster. It's only been out a few days. Anyway, I installed the app and played for five minutes or so. It didn't interest me, which is probably fortunate. I was just exploring the weird behavior I was seeing so I'm not counting it as a break in the year-plus I've gone without gaming. (Just like I didn't count the instructional game I had to play as part of mandatory training for work a while back.) I predict we'll be hearing a lot more about this game. I've never seen anything like it. Very strange.
I am so glad to not be sucked into a computer game world. I don't want to be there. I want to be here. Thanks, Olga and Olgans.
No plans to game today (including Pokemon Go).
I am doing okay. No plans to investigate Pokemon Go again. In fact, I will delete the app from my phone right now ... okay, mission accomplished. I'm sure this game is fun for a lot of people, but I'm not a lot of people. For me, it's best to just not play any games whatsoever. As long as I don't play any games, life goes a heck of a lot better. I'm just not the sort of person who can play a little. If I get started, I am almost certain to feel compelled to play all the time, ignoring everything else in life to focus exclusively on this one relatively unimportant aspect. It turns out that is not a recipe for happiness. I do much better in almost all ways when I don't play games, and instead focus on the rest of life, the reality part. As long as I don't get started gaming, life is much, much sweeter. I like that. So, my plan is to not game today. Thanks for your help with that.
just here trying not to start playing pokemon go. My facebook feed is all full of stories of ppl playing the new game. I haven't played anything in a while but I love pokemon. I know if I start I won't want to stop. I'm so mad that I can't play it. I have nothing else to do. My therapist told me to go to aa meetings and i went to one but it was weird. I didn't know how to tell them I'm not an alcoholic.
What day is it?
Minecrutch, welcome aboard. This is a good place to get help for what bothers us. It's true we're not like alcoholics, but we are similar I think in that we just have to stay away from games completely if we're going to have decently happy lives. We just can't control it. Period.
That's not true for everybody, but it's true for most of the people who get to Olga. It's certainly true for me. I know from long experience (25-plus years) that if I start gaming a little, I am very likely to eventually start gaming a ridiculous amount, like 16 hours a day, for days and weeks and months on end, while the rest of my life crumbles into a dusty heap around me. That's not a recipe for happiness. So, my goal is not game at all, even a little bit.
I work on this with the help of a lot of mind-control tricks. One of them is posting here daily. I find that coming here and publicly stating that I'm not planning to game helps. I don't want to let my fellow Olgans down, I guess, or have to come back and admit that I screwed up and broke my vow. Also, I feel supported and understood, and that helps. And the act of helping and supporting others helps me. Also, I think having a countup is motivating. I don't want to "lose" my count of days without gaming. It's sort of competitive, and sort of a way to feel superior, I guess. Anyway, all this adds up to: Works for me.
I hope you can find something that works for you. Don't quit trying! It may take a while and a lot of attempts to find something that works for you. Use technology, such as website blockers, to help you. Do cost-benefit analyses, A-B-C thought disputing, pleasure predicting and other tools from cognitive therapy. Do the 12 steps. Get rid of your computer and trade your smartphone for one that only does calls and texts. Try everything.
Why?
Because it's totally worth it. You will love life once you get the gaming out of it. I sure do, anyway. I'm not going back there. It's a messed-up way to live. This is way better.
No plans to game today.
Hello peeps, glad to see ur posting here
I have also heard a lot about this pokemon go LOL
I wanna do CBT-therapy, the more i read about it, the more sense it makes. It's a lot according to my values it seems, the idea that you can actively think differently to effect ur emotions and behaviours. I would prefer to work with a therapist, but im not sure i qualify for help, i'll ask around. I also have a friend who's doing an online self-help version of CBT, i could talk to him about it.
Right now i manily wanna use CBT to prevent panic-attacks i get from trying to work on my thesis. But there sure are a lot of areas where it could be useful, (such as honesty in close relationships)
According to something i read, depressed people tend to think negatively about themselves, the future and the world around them. This is so true of me when im in a negative state.
Today im grateful for: That i am me, i tend to be overly critical about myself, but honestly i prefer waking up & being me than 90% of other people out there, im pretty cool ;). Im thankful that I live in a country with great opportunities for personal & economical development. There's no reason for me to think i couldnt create a happy life for myself. Sometimes i think the world is "bad", but i'd rather like to think, as the author steven pressfield, that "humankind is advancing, however haltingly and imperfectly, toward a better world"
See ya peeps, thanks
Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3
Wazzapp, you have a great attitude. I also think things are getting better for most if not all of us, and the evidence on things like violence, war, disease, poverty and life expectancy generally bears that out.
CBT is the s**t, if you ask me. I have been way into it for 30 years, no lie. During that time it's become the most widely practiced form of talk therapy. It doesn't work perfectly for everybody or every problem, but I think it would be good for you and dealing with your panic and anxiety issues.
My favorite book on it is Feeling Good, by David Burns. It's sold 4 million copies and is the best-selling psychology self-help book of all time, I believe. Your local library is guaranteed to have one, and your local used book store probably as well.
Albert Ellis is an older guy who takes a slightly different slant on the topic. He calls his Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy, but it's basically the same stuff in different clothes. You might check out some of his writing. He's pretty crusty but his approach really resonates with a lot of folks.
Both these guys have a good bit of online stuff, either directly from them or via others. There are also a number of online CBT opportunities.
I have used one called Good Days Ahead in its offline DVD form. It's also available onlne. One of the co-authors is Aaron Beck, who is maybe the most important pioneer of this therapy. It's good but I think it costs money. I couldn't really tell from the website. https://www.gooddaysahead.com/about
MoodGym is free and I have used it and it is also good. https://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome
CBT has good success with anxiety. I think you are going to kick this thing awesomely!
I am good. No gaming for me today. I need to stay focused to keep from running over the people walking in front of traffic while playing Pokemon Go.
I'm doing okay. No plans to game today.
Thanks McPhee, i've printed some pages of David Burns book. Gonna start reading it right after i post this.
Today i feel like a wreck. I've cut out almost all romantic relationships cuz i realized i hadn't been honest enough, and also confused about what I want. I even terminated open/non-comittal relationships where I was honest, cuz i thought i needed time for myself, **** difficulty i have being alone, im not sure what the right thing to do is concerning this.......generally confused.....
I've been very passive for the past few days, mostly laying in bed.
There are things that are urgent, that I postpone anyway, like calculating how much tax im supposed to pay, which im already a few months past deadline with. Apartment is dirty. I don't feel like doing anything.
I don't feel like doing a gratitude list either LOL. Anyways, here we go. Im happy that im not in a wheelchair. Im happy to live in a forgiving time & place, so that i can create a life if/when i get out of passivity & escapism. Im happy that opportunities for personal/fincancial/health/love/spiritual-growth exists even though it doesn't feel as if im capitalizing on any of it. And im game-free, and that's great.
Wow gratitude helps lol. I feel a little better x)
See you tmr probably
Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3
Wazzapp, I'm glad you are taking steps to break out of this funk you are in. Tomorrow I think I'm going to post the very helpful instructions to the exercise on determining what you want out of life. Meanwhile, I ran across this free online course in how to be happier by a well-known happiness researcher:
https://www.thebigknow.com/course/be-happy/session/be-happy
I thought it looked pretty good and am doing it myself. Why don't you give it a try? If nothing else, take the four-question happiness test and see how you do. Come on.
I am hanging in there. I have some pretty serious challenges going on in some areas, especially parenting, but other stuff is going well. I have a lot to be thankful for. I'm not ready to give up yet.
No plans to game today.
Hello,
Thanks McPhee, the book by Burns is great! I didn't feel the same about Caroline Webb's book, dont know why :P
Also the link seems great,
It feels as if I had a tiny "rock-bottom" yesterday, and it gave me more willing to be proactive.
Myself, future and world
Today im grateful for: being me, im atleast somewhat aware of when i'm failing, im not gaming all the time as i used to, which is a great step forward. Im thankful that there are plenty of opportunities to be successful in pretty much all areas of life, that there are ways to become more happy. Im grateful that I had a vision of what realized being that i could be, and at the same time aware that perfectionism can paralyze and create anguish. Im happy that I live in a peaceful and friendly place
See u!
Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3
Wazzapp, I'm glad you're finding some good stuff out there and feeling better.
Here's a very useful thingie I ran across a few years ago and have greatly benefited from. It's basically a way to systematically, comprehensively and in writing daydream and figure out what you want from life. Not what you *should* want, but what makes you, personally, happy. It just takes maybe 20 minutes to do a pretty good job on it, and it's actually fun. McPhee says: Check it out!
What, Precisely, Do You Want?
One of the biggest impediments to getting what you want in life is not knowing what that is. It’s hard to plan a trip when you don’t know where you wish to go. You need a clear
idea of your destination before you have any reasonable hope of arriving there. The following is a discovery process that will help you become more specific, that will reveal to you what you truly want in your life.
Sit down with a pen and a pad of paper. Across the top of the page write, "If I could be, do, and have everything I want." Beneath it, list the following categories:
Work/Career Money
Lifestyle/Possessions
Relationships
Creative Self-Expression
Leisure Activities
Personal Growth/Education
Make each category a heading, and under each heading write out a paragraph or two that would describe your ideal scene if you could be and do and have everything you want. Let go of all your inhibitions when you do this, of all sense of restriction and limitation, anything that says to you, “I can’t have, I can’t be, I can’t do.” Unleash your wishes and desires. Let them run free. Write your descriptions in the present tense, as if you are already there. For example:
“I’m living in the country in a large white frame house that’s flooded with morning light. There’s a rolling lawn, large oak trees, a flower garden..."
“I’m earning $125,000 a year. I’ve been out of debt for a long time. I have an investment portfolio worth $400,000. It pays me an additional $50,000 a year in dividends. I buy presents for my friends and family..."
“I work only four days a week. I play tennis every weekend. I fly to the Caribbean to go scuba diving. I spend time in galleries, and enjoy doing fine woodworking..."
When you’re done, read over what you’ve written. This is a clear picture of how you would really like to live, what you want, what is meaningful to you, and what would please you. It is quite valuable. Having a sense of this -- your ideal state -- in mind will help guide you as you make decisions and undertake beneficial actions, and will keep you aimed in directions you truly wish to go.
Another approach is to make a “List of 100.” Again, be as fanciful as you wish, but list only things that you would truly like to be, do, or have, not things that you think you ought to. The lists might look something like this:
100 THINGS I WOULD LIKE TO BE
1. A pilot
2. Fluent in Italian
3. A swimmer
4. Well read
5. An Egyptologist
6. A chef
7. A skilled dancer
8. A passenger on a flight to Mars
9. The life of the party
10. A talk show host...
100 THINGS I WOULD LIKE TO DO
1. Get up early in the morning
2. Go fishing every week
3. Climb Mt. Washington
4. Study history
5. Date only terrific people
6. Build my own house.
7. Live in a warm climate
8. Sky-dive
9. Go to Greece
10. Raise dogs...
l00 THINGS I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE
1. A summer cabin on a lake
2. One copy of every edition of Moby Dick ever published
3. A great sound system
4. A BMW convertible
5. A pair of oxblood dress shoes
6. A flat-screen monitor
7. A blue silk tie
8. An emotionally stable lover
Q. A two-bedroom condominium
10. $150,000 in liquid assets...
Some people have trouble with this, fearing they’ll only feel worse if they point out to themselves all the things they’d like to have that they don’t have. But that’s a spurious fear. Your subconscious already knows what you want. You’ve just been hiding it from yourself, that’s all. Which only undermines your chances of ever getting it; the fear of not being able to have it ends up fulfilling itself.
Linda, a medical technician, had been so beaten down by her debts that she couldn’t permit herself even to conceive of an ideal scene or make more than a few entries on her lists. The continual stress and despair of her debts had destroyed her capacity to imagine any other kind of life. She worked this program four months before she was able to write the lists out. Within six months after that, she had achieved several of the things she had written down, including a change of employers and a new apartment.
An impressive number of your entries will appear in your life in short order, once you clarify to yourself what it is that you really want. If you have trouble writing out the lists or scenes at first, just keep at them. Try them every two weeks. As your subconscious realizes that you’re taking increasing control of your life and that there’s no reason to fear, it will begin to open up. The more fun you have with the process, the more benefit you’ll get from it. It’s not supposed to be work. The purpose is simply to reveal to yourself what you’d truly like out of life and to help you break free of the restrictions in your own thinking.
And remember that your wants are not carved in granite. You’re not committed to them simply because you’ve written them down. They will change as you change, and with time. It’s good to draw up a new set once or twice a year. It helps you stay abreast of and knowledgeable about your own changing desires. Each time you do, take a look at the old ones. You’ll be surprised to discover how many of the things you wanted you’ve already brought into your life, and how you’ve begun to move in the direction of your ideal.
(Almost forgot: No plans to game today. (I have to say that at the end of every post or something terrible could happen. Superstitious? Maybe.))
This is the 943rd post to the thread Silvertabby started a little over a year ago. Thanks, Silvertabby! It's been a great help to me and, I think, a few other folks. Good work!
I am working my way through the free online happiness course and I think it's very good. You can check it out here: https://www.thebigknow.com/course/be-happy
I am okay. No plans to game today.
Thanks McPhee for that extensive post on goal-setting, I'm saving it for later! It's definately one of those areas i want to look more into. Actually had a talk recently with a friend (& role-model) of mine who was suprised and concerned about the fact that i didn't have any clear goals/plans/vision. I was feeling pretty blue at the time and that probably made me even more uncertain :p
I can definately relate to this lol...
Thanks again for the book by Burns, i think it's awesome, can't stop reading it. Had counceling today at my local health-center and we booked a time for low-dose medicine and CBT.
Today im grateful for: Being alive, being game-free, Burns' book, cardio training, green juice, nice people,
See ya!
Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3
Hello peeps,
I think im getting better.
Today im grateful for: Food, Cardio, Music, Being game-free, Burns' book,
See ya!
Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3
Wazzapp, I'm thrilled to hear you're feeling better. I read a report on a study that found 82 percent of teens treated with CBT and antidepressants got relief from depression in a year. And 61 percent had complete remission. I was looking up stuff on teens because of my son's problems in this area, but it may be relevant to you. In any event, I'm glad you're taking steps and think you'll very likely feel better soon.
http://www.nimh.nih.gov/news/science-news/2009/long-term-depression-treatment-leads-to-sustained-recovery-for-most-teens.shtml
I'm okay. I work on the ambulance today and being exposed to other people's serious health troubles always helps me to feel better about my comparatively small problems. No plans to game.
Hello!
It must be very difficult to work on the ambulance
Im ok, going to take it pretty slowly today. Do some cardio and read mostly.
Today im grateful for: Being willing to change, Belief in the future, Being game-free, Coffee
See u =)
Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3
Wazzapp, I hope you're feeling better today.
Working on the ambulance is not too bad. I like it because it's completely different from freelance writing. Instead of sitting around the house barefoot and wearing shorts and a t-shirt and sending emails, talking to business owners and financial advisors on the phone, surfing the web and typing articles, I am wearing a uniform, working for a company, being part of a team, riding around in a truck, getting face-to-face with sick and hurt people, putting hands on them, sometimes having to get mixed up with their bodily fluids, lifting them onto the stretcher and into the ambulance, etc. I don't feel really comfortable doing it, but it's a nice change and, at the very least, it keeps me from forgetting how lucky, lucky, lucky I am. There is a lot of bad stuff that can happen.
I am good today. No plans to game.
This is really hard for me to post, but I decided I need to do this as I need some accountability. Yup, I chose to play that first game again. It's been about a week of almost non-stop gaming, playing an old game that I used to play and then a week of looking for other games to play when my game of choice stopped working on my computer. I'm pretty certain, as well, that I would still be playing if that game hadn't stopped working.
I know why the cravings to game hit me so hard all of a sudden and also why I gave in. I've had some physical issues and I just knew that gaming would take the edge off and it did. When I was gaming I didn't care. Now the issues are mostly gone, but the cravings to game continue. Today is my second day of not gaming, and I'm once again fighting the urges to keep on playing.
I deleted the account of the game that stopped working on my computer but there's a 7 day grace period and the thoughts enter my head to get the account back, as I want to get a new computer anyway and could play it again. I couldn't find a way to delete another game I played, so I scrambled the password.....but it would be so easy to get it again. The addict thinking is alive and well again after feeding it. But....what's done is done. It's time to move forward, be accountable, and take my life back once again.
Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending. ~Maria Robinson
Silvertabby, I am sorry to hear about your recent struggles. I can see how physical troubles could readily get somebody in the mood to give in to gaming. I am glad you are trying to get off the wretched games again and taking steps like scrambling your password to make it easier to stay away from them. Smart move!
Gaming does have some benefits in that it lets us temporarily and imperfectly escape unpleasant realities. Unfortunately, as we all know too well, it doesn't last and it has side effects that are often worse than the situation we are trying to ignore. There's also the fact that it's just escapism; it doesn't do anything to actually repair the situation or feelings bothering us. We have learned, through long experience, that the best way to deal with troubling feelngs and circumstances is not to hide out from them in a game. It's usually best to face them and try to deal with them in some more constructive way. Of course, it's hard to be perfect.
In some ways developing a gaming compulsion is like becoming allergic to something or getting a chronic insurable disease like diabetes. It's almost like we can't ever really put it all completely behind us so it never returns. That's kind of depressing, to think that we may always be subject to occasional urges, sometimes out of the blue and sometimes in response to predictable circumstances, and that even years from now we might give in and find ourselves back to living in a messed-up gaming world. Heck.
The good news is, even if we aren't guaranteed perfect sublime lives of awesome majesty from here on out, a problem with gaming can be managed and its negative impact on our lives reduced considerably, even down to where it's a marginal impact. You've done really well with staying away from gaming for a long time. Even if you got started gaming and lost a week to it, you are back to grabbing days away from gaming and living them to their fullest. Every single day you can save from gaming is a victory, the way I see it.
You're winning, Silvertabby, and I'm really happy to see that you are not giving up and are back here trying to get a happier life for yourself. Good job!
I am okay. No plans to game today.
Hello, sorry to hear of your recent struggles Silvertabby.
Well, I hate to complain, but i hate lying even more. I have moodswings, and my thoughts are shifting in between mildly positive and quite negative.
My family is inviting me home for a gathering but I'm afraid to go there because i don't want them to know im struggling. On the other hand, my mood can shift and i can be completely fine for a couple of hours. What's annoying me is that i tend to "freeze" in social situations when i feel sad. I can't hide it, and i become aviodant and vague, to anybody it becomes obvious that something is wrong.
Im grateful for: Not being broke, having an appointment with a therapist, not being in a wheelchair,
See ya!
Never alone, go to meetings <3 Mumble voice meetings on cgaa are great, see you there <3