Born a gamer

I wanted to put my perspective here of someone who has been playing since being a little kid and is now in his late 20's. I am a first generation gamer that started young, probably 6-7 years old when the original nintendo came out. I remember how exciting it was for me at even that age and my parents would let me play endless hours. They probably liked it because it kept me occupied and off their back. I grew up playing the console games in my early years and in my teenage years is when I got internet. The internet was especially powerful because I played my first multiplayer game, Warcraft II, which was an amazing experience for me and drew me into games like I never did before. I think this is when my parents knew I was starting to have a problem. I then played Starcraft, and Diablo II and was playing for serious hours, 8+ hours at least a day and as long as I could possibly get away with. I remember how I figured out how to be quiet and block the light from my computer so my parents would not catch me in the middle of the night, going to 2,3, 4 AM gaming marathon sessions day after day. I played all the way up to college, and did not know how to make friends or socialize with people. It was so nervewracking, but I joined a sort of fraternity to try to be more disciplined where I would not have access to games. Well, I got extremely depressed, and followed with a mental breakdown in my sophomore year where I had to drop out of college entirely. I had to see psychiatrists and all that, and it took me several years to recover. I finished my degree a few years later, but only with great difficulty because I went back to games. I had no friends still at my new college and I graduated with no one caring except my family. I never really had a girlfriend to this day other than a few months as a freshman in high school. I always remember getting rejected, probably because of my social awkwardness and not saying all the right things, not because of my looks. I gave up on humanity because I feel like they only wanted a certain version of me, the only version of me I thought people liked was when I was in a manic state. Otherwise, I couldn't come up with interesting stories and I am just a boring guy. I've been off games 15 days now, got another job after I got fired from my last, which I start soon. My problem now is after diving into these fantasy worlds such as world of warcraft for years of playing time, is I look at the world and I don't like what I see. I see people that have their inner circles with an almost impossible barrier to break, I see a competitive, individualistic, selfish, cutthroat world that writes off people like me. I always thought that if someone out there really cared about me, I would actually be very successful, but I have not had that in my life. All I have is myself and I have to pull myself up on my own. It's so hard.