Once in a while a post from one of you brilliant people will catch my eye as this one did from one of our new visitors named 'Squeakie.' I thought I would cut and paste it here. Thank you, Debbie - I hope you don't mind me 'sticking' you out in the open
Ron
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Quote:Just felt compelled to write you.
The thing I repeat to MYSELF for my situation is "You are not your character."
Last time I visited here (and went to a recovery chat, too), I (or more accurately, my character) was #2 on topscore. When I left permanently in August, I was #1 on topscore. My character was famous in the game, and everyone liked me and thought I was so cool.
I had four revelations that helped me quit:
1. In a recovery chat, one of the hosts said to me "If you took the time you used to spend in the game and spend it on yourself instead in your real life, do you think you could become important to yourself in real life?" I cut and pasted that and still read it!
2. I happened to catch Dr. Phil once and he had a show about addictions, and this lady wrote in and asked if he thought she had a computer addiction. The thing that struck me so hard -- she sent in a picture of herself PLAYING ON THE COMPUTER in bed with her kids around her. And I sat there thinking that's what I probably look like to my kids, and they're just going to remember me as someone who played on the computer all the time. You know how people take pictures of themselves when they're fat to put on the refrigerator to keep themselves from eating? Man, take a picture of yourself playing on the computer.
3. A lot of times in my game, I would be upset and angry or other players would hurt my feelings, etc., and oddly one of the other players said critically to me that he thought I wasn't coming to the game to RP, that I was coming to the game to PRETEND. It made perfect sense, because in the game I can do anything! I (my character, actually) was strong and powerful and popular! In the real world my real self isn't.
4. Lastly, of all the billions of times I stood up from my computer chair to go do something/eat something/whatever, in mid-August I stood up one time and it hit me like lightning that if I wasn't looking at the computer screen, I was ME.
I want to be me. I want to be real.
It doesn't even bother me AT ALL that they've probably purged my #1-on-topscore character after 90 days of inactivity, because that wasn't me. This is me.
Anyway, just wanted to share that with you. You can do it. Don't look back.
Debbie
Co-Founder of OLGA and member since 2002