How I improved my social life and ended my isolation

In the chat meeting I chair and in the forums, one of the most common topics for newly recovering addicts, is how to fill those hours that were previously consumed by gaming. Having a social life is the obvious answer, but what can you do if your social life was long ago devastated by excessive game playing?

I do not try to give advice, only to share my experience strength and hope. Here is my own experience on this subject.

When I tried to recover from addiction I was an atheist. A real atheist. I thought people who believed in God were stupid and ignorant. Yes I was also arrogant.

My journey in recovery began with a Step 2, and help from my sponsor.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

The operative word here is 'could'. I had to suspend my judgement, disbelief and criticism.

My spiritual journey has been a long one, with many twists and turns. Today, several years on, I am a Christian and a follower of Jesus Christ.

Today I believe that that the hope of the world is in the local church. Belief and the Bible is good, but without other people it is like the literature without meetings (just like 12 step programmes, the literature is important, but hope for recovery lies in our fellowship.)

I am very lucky to have found a community of Christians in the town in which I live, who are now like family to me.

I did not gain this family overnight. It took me a least two years. First I took what I learned in 12 Step recovery about the importance of service I applied the same principle to membership in my church.

I began by volunteering to make and serve coffee after each service. I did such a good job, that they put me in charge of the coffee team. I became responsible for a team of 30 people. I learned to use a scheduling software programme to manage volunteers. At times I had to make coffee alone when others failed to show up. I tried to avoid judgement and resentments. Many of these people whom I led are now my friends.

One of our church members, a professinal film maker, offered a free course on film-making to volunteers in our church. I signed up and attended each class. I began to work on the video team. I was asked to schedule volunteers and film the services. Then I was asked to lead the team. I made more friends, teens, housewives, Dutch, English, Africans, people from many nations and all walks of life.

My church, like many others, has Christian men who struggle to connect with each other. There are among them men who struggle with addictions, pornography and infidelity. Christians are not immune.

One of my new friends was inspired to start a men's ministry in our church. A group in which men could connect with each other in an open and non-judgemental environment. We are all sinners. Being a sinner is part of being human. What distinguishes a 'good' Christian is what he or she does with that sin.

We began the group a year ago. We have had an inspirational movie night and a BBQ with a game of capture the flag with fathers and sons. I organized the game because we played this many times in Scouts. It was a huge success. We now have over 100 members. We are planning an all day conference for men in November.

I was asked to handle communications for our group. I started a newsletter and a FaceBook Group for our ministry.

I no longer have to worry about how to fill my time. Quite the opposite. I also have many friends.

Recently I had a minor operation to remove a mole on my neck. The stitches are visible. Many people who saw the stitches came up to me and berated me for not telling them about my surgery. To me it was no big deal. My friends were upset because they care about me and I had not shared with them what is going on in my life.

I have many friends who care for me. I am no longer alone. And it all started by making coffee.

Thank you for letting me share.