Hi,
I am a 27 year old male who plays video games in moderation. I myself do not play online games as my PC is way to old to even bother trying.
The problem is my friend and I say I am not sure if you can help because he is not addicted to online games but to console games. I am unsure if I am allowed to post names said consoles but you know what the big three are right now. I am hoping if nothing else someone will be able to direct me to the proper place for those woth console addictions.
My friend worries me greatly as he is 25 still living at home and with little ambition. Lately his addiction has taken on a more "scarey" tone for lack of a better word. He no longer just plays the games but says things like "stop making jokes, this is serious stuff. I'm trying to get INTO the game." I have seen him start talking as if he were the character in the game he is playing. Taking on their likes and dislikes and once even taking on a new taste in music because a character in a game liked that type of music.
I have my own problems that I get help for and I am moving on with my life, this makes my friend angry as he tells me he dosent want to talk about reality. Mentions of college, work, political views, world news etc. all get him angry as he infoms me that he does not under any circumstances want to discuss the real world in any way shape or form. I once caught him trying to use the Force to bring his can of soda to his hand. That sounds funny but when you wittness something like that and your best friend is involved it is not funny at all.
Worse still is that the more he plays the games the more he tries to make himself feel like a hero in real life. He says he has to continue to live with his mother and 15 year old sister to protect them. He will not say from what but in the middle of the night (Ive stayed very late at his house several times) he is prone to say "SHHHH what was that?!" and go investigate, sometimes with his mothers pistol in hand.
When he talks about a game he has beaten he says things like "I crushed so and so the final boss of the game, he was weak against me" as if HE actually fought a real demon, terrorist, wizard etc.
I wish to remain friends with him and to get him the help he needs but he dose not want help and has begun to see me as a nag and a bring down because I bring reality into his fantasy world. What can I do, if anything?
Raistlin
What you can do is get your friend some help he needs therapy. And yes he is addicted, he is using games to ignore real life. IF you can get him to have him come to this website and make him read some of these stories...
Do anything you can to help him, he sounds like he is in bad shape. I suggest finding a therapist a good one for him to go and see, and have him look at this website so he can see what gaming addiction does to people.
Most important of all no matter what you do dont give up on him, he will probably fight you tooth and nail to move in a positive direction. Keep up and keep working on it.
One sort of sad thing is he will not get help until he is ready to do so, no one can MAKE him do jack @#%$... He needs help but he does not realize it yet. Just love him and be there for him and tell him what you think. Hopefully eventually he will come around and try to get help, offer him your assistance in this area if you can.
Please come back and update us on this situation i will be thinking of you and your friend
Also has he been playing knights of the old republic? I actually got addicted to that game until i beat it every way possible. Eventually I got tired of it... Eventually I get tired of all console games but some people don't. Addiction can rear its ugly head in almost anything that includes online and offline gaming.
Love
Aaron Blair
Raistlin,
Wow..thats 'f'ed' up. This depends on how much your friend means to you, obviously he DOES because you are wondering how to help him, even though you have your own problems.
Are his folks aware what the REAL thing is going on in your friend's mind? Or are they in denial?
Your friend is wasting his life right in front of you in the most bizarre and gross way, and I cant imagine how that can be like.
You know, a confrontation wouldnt be so bad. He is getting away with playing so much, and no one is stopping it, so maybe he thinks its OKAY.
Maybe he will end up schizophrenic, unable to identify real life from fantasy...and who wouldnt want fantasy anyway? Its soooo beguiling, you can be whatever you want to be, find your cause and meaning in LIFE in those games, wherein in real life, everything is so hard and complicated. Fantasy is so much simple, the monitor protects you, you can play and play to your hearts content and then one day wake up and realize this isnt f'ing real life, and BAM! Your friend can just kill himself, or just become more insane if he isnt already.
They had medicine for this type of stuff, Raistlin, tell his parents whats going on.
Suree
. . . all warriors, be it a Shaolin Monk or a Marine Corp officer, seek peace, whether they understand it or not. The question is, will they ever understand that to find it, all they have to do is stop fighting? I do not know . . .
Bleah. I'm tired, and I'm rambling. It's my wish that your friend eventually finds peace, because I think that's what he's looking for.
This sounds alot like schizophrenia (spelling?) and might be very serious.
I had a coworker who was killed by the police when they responded to his neighbor's 911 call to report that he was running around in his house nude shouting and holding a gun. This might sound funny, but this person trained me for the job I do and I considered him a friend. When it happens to people close to you it is very frightening and disturbing.
Here's the story:
I used to go on smoke breaks with him and his behavior began to change very subtle like occasionally saying odd things out of context, then later starting to make strange facial expressions when speaking randomly like a tick or something, and near the end he was having full blown hallucinations. The last time I spoke to him before he died, he told me that Jesus actually came to visit him. I thought it was just a strange attempt to get me to go to his church or some religeous experience or dream for him, but I had no idea that he was actually suffering from a schizophrenia. This stuff can come on really fast and sometimes is brought on by stress in their lives. In this case an injury due to a car accident and the pain meds he got that seemed to interfere with his regular schizo medications that he eventually just stopped taking.
Anyway I wanted to mention that because the things that your friend is doing are alot like what my friend did before he died. It gets worse over time and without medication often leads to their death. Try to tell someone who can do something about it. In America people cannot usually be medicated against their will unless they are children, so be prepared that your help may be rejected and there's nothing you can do. But you can at least say that you tried, which I cannot say for my dead friend, who died before I even realized what was going on.
Note: When they start spending alot of time alone, that is extremely dangerous, especially if they are having hallicinations. Remember that they really believe what they are seeing is real. Have compassion but act quickly if you can. At least let their family members or someone else know about this if you cannot do anything yourself.
Good luck and please do something. I really wish I did.