Hi all,
I'm going to call myself espi, as i'm a bit ashamed of myself, and I feel this deeply enough that I don't even want to tie in my name with my actions. I have a lot of information i'm trying to express, so excuse any lack of synchronicity or otherwise poor prose i'm about to endeavor.
I'm 23 years old, I have very clear plans, ambitions and aspirations (or at least I would like to tell myself), yet, they are all thwarted by video games. I play on average 8 hours daily, particularly Leauge of Legends (LoL), and I do play a FPS called Team Fortress 2 (TF2), but this is on passing as I only play that to take a break from playing LoL all day. I've been wanting to stop playing for so long, but I just can't seem to delete the games. I've been playing video games ever since I was a child and I can really say that i've been addicted to video games ever since then, but back then it felt harmless as all life back then consisted of fun and play. I've stopped playing games for years, but I've returned after needing something to distract me (i'm not even sure from what nower days). Now, it's stopping my life from progressing. It's even damaging, I've been physically damaged from sitting down all day, yet I push through any knee pains I may have just to continue playing.
I would call myself prone to addiction, i've had problems in the past with drugs, but this is unreal. I can stop doing drugs easier than I can stop playing video games. I know if I stopped playing video games and if I put alllllllllll that *** **** time I spend on them into something productive, I would be far happier and content. I just feel as if there isn't much out there that gives me such intense and rapid gratification that I feel I may** need on a personal level. I've tried limiting myself with how much time I play, but video games are how I reward myself whenever I do something productive, but I take it to the extremes. This addiction is even damaging my social life. I used to be way more extroverted, going out with friends, enjoying my life everyday, but this just took over and it is turning into me feeling sad to be me. I can't even talk to anyone face to face about this because I feel incredibly ashamed. The most I can do is turn to the internet and post anonymously.... at least it's something.
I'm going to try and quit cold turkey today. I'm going to delete all remnants of video games from my life as soon as I hit submit. I will return to mark my progress, and express myself. Thank you for reading this. If you have any comments, suggestions, or anything, please respond. It would mean a lot to me. An if you're in a period of dread such as myself, I hope this helps you and inspires you to become the person you need to be.
~espi.
Hello espi,
It's great that you've decided to stop. That desire alone is the only requirement to join a fellowship of fellow addicts that are trying to recover, day by day.
Once games were taken out of my life, everything seemed a lot harder. I couldn't find much pleasure in anything else either. If I had a bad day or was feeling stressed, I had nowhere to run. I've tried stopping and moderating countless times in the past but just couldn't ever seem to do it myself. I can relate to how you've felt.
If I had any suggestions or advice it'd be a strong recommendation to come join our meetings. If only to listen to others share, that can help connect you with this program. At that point, finding a sponsor and using them to help you work the steps is the best course.
It's not easy to do this alone. We're here for you and I hope you decide to come to our meetings.
http://olganon.org/?q=calendar
Regards,
Jesse
A wise man once told me to shutup.
\\ Free from games since 03.13.2014 //
I teach smoking cessation. After 3 days is when it starts to get tough but if you realize this then you can Plan for it. Plan on feeling empty , maybe keep a journal. All the posts here say it gets easier with time . Knowing it is normal to feel bad might help do you keep going until 3-4 months when you'll feel better by far!!
Maybe make a schedule write it down- structure for your day. Get rid of triggers that remind you of gaming. Maybe do some day trips somewhere. If you could find a friend to stop gaming with It could help and meetings here!!
I don't really know nor mean to give advice. CI just wish you the best!!
Welcome Espi! I can totally relate to quitting gaming being harder than quitting drugs or alcohol and think the reason is there was no way I could have physically done alcohol and drugs 8+hours a day every day the way I did gaming. That combined with what I now know about the effect on the brain that gaming causes being very similar to cocaine, it makes total sense why it's hard to quit and when I did it felt as if I had no motivation to do anything. The good news is that that began to pass after a couple weeks game free. I applaud you on taking the steps to get away from gaming before it does more damage. Like any addiction, this one is progressive and things get worse and worse and worse, as I had to experience. I agree with Ascender's comments that coming to meetings here is what helped me the most. I could not have done this alone.
Hugs, Lisa Video game free since 4/17/2014
You're talking my language! I can relate so much.
I have a mental condition, with very obsessive-compulsive quirks, that drives me to self-destructive behavior if I'm not treating it. The condition is called addiction, for lack of a better word (or acronym.) When I'm not treating it, I keep relapsing back into the vicious downward spiral. When I am treating it, my life gradually gets better and better.
I treat it by going to meetings and taking the suggestions of people who have been successful at getting where I want to go. http://olganon.org/?q=node/46551
Hope to see you at one soon!
What you feed grows, and what you starve withers away.