My leaving and Steve...

Hi all, as promised, an explanation:

In fairness to Steve, he did send me a nice email apology for the way he 'introduced himself.' I just think the main problem is that the goals of promoting responsible gaming and quitting gaming do not fit together. I saw an inevitable train wreck. I just didn't think it would happen so quickly.

As for Steve, I think his intentions are probably good but he hasn't walked in our shoes. The folks at OLGA are a brotherhood and sisterhood who have been through hell and back. Some of us continue to take this round trip in our lives such as I do... so much fun after all

The one thing I hope he learned from this experience is that good intentions, a clear goal and an education don't necessarily mean that you can create positive results when dealing with people. To deal with a condition, you have to truly understand the condition and be willing to get knocked off your pedestal now and then and listen to and hear the things you don't want to listen to and hear. It's about letting go of your ego and those who are truly successful at doing this don't get offended by someone's words. They take them into account and look for the meaning and context behind them.

He mentioned that he refuses to work in a hostile environment and that's his choice - Game 'addiction' *IS* a hostile environment, however, and if you want to help people who are having life issues relating to gaming, you have to take the hostile situations along with the non-hostile ones.

Is OLGA unprofessional, unqualified and disorganized? Probably, to a degree. Does that invalidate us? Not necessarily.

Before my leaving a few weeks back and after my first confrontation with Steve, I really did some soul-searching and asked myself, "Who the hell am I giving advice when I am not a psychologist? What qualifications do I have? What do I really understand about addictions?

I have to tell you, when I was done with that self-deprecating tirade, I felt pretty low. I accepted all the harsh criticisms Steve said about me. I felt that I had no business trying to help drive this organization. I was just some shlub of a gamer who was a great "Druid" in Everquest and a great sniper in the several other first person shooter games I played. So at that time, I felt it was time to leave OLGA behind to those more 'qualified.' In short...I folded.

It took a week to really process the entire situation and take everything he had said and how I was feeling and become comfortable with myself again. (****, I hate being an emotional 'Cancer.' ) But mostly, I would probably not be back if it wasn't for the super-supportive emails and postings of those people who validated my reasons for being there. To you all, and to those who thought it but didn't write, I again say thank you. To my detractors, I thank you too. You have helped keep it real for me over the past three years.

As for my situation with Liz, I was admittedly upset that she didn't tell me that she and Steve were working together to try and do a joint thingy of some kind. When Steve started posting authoritatively, I obviously took offense not knowing who this person was coming in out of the blue and speaking as an admin. Yes, my ego started kicking in, never a good thing for a gamer. I was very protective of OLGA and you folks here and well, one thing led to another.

As for Liz and I, we work well together - We are on opposite sides of the fence sometimes as I am the gamer and she is the family member. As a result our goals are not always in sync, but when she steps out of line, I'm there to set her straight. When I step out of line, she calls me on it. We have a trusting relationship, hold no punches and are honest with each other. As with any relationship, those are important things.

Whatever Steve chooses to do with his organization and community, I wish him the greatest success and hope that ultimately groups like his and ours can find that common ground to help others so that someday no one will have to go through the physical and emotional issues that we here have gone through.

Thank you all for the support you have shown me, and more importantly, you all have shown each other.

Blessings,

Ron