Perceptions ...

Greetings all!

As I fight a horrible cold this week, I thought I'd take a few minutes to speak with you all about perceptions.

Now I know some of you have heard the story about the two men in the rock quarry.

Two men were wielding huge sledgehammers in the mid day sun. For hours each day, they would swing and smash, and turn these large boulders into smaller stones. When one of the men was asked what he was doing, he responded with, "I'm just smashing these big rocks into little ones." When the other man was asked, he said, "I'm turning these stones into bricks so they can be used to build a beautiful chapel." Now the work these two men were doing was the same, but it was their perception of what they were doing that made the difference. Now you can look at the progress you are making here similarly.

You can either view each day away from your "game of choice" as being simply "game-free," or you can look at each day as being one more day of you re-gaining control of your life. Not much difference...or is there?

Well, in my opinion, it is much more powerful to look at the progress you are making and the changes you are making than to look backwards. Sure, remember those times playing, but don't focus on them. Focus on what it is you want to become, on the life you want to have, on the progress you want to make and on the person you want to be.

When you post on the "Milestone" part of this website, let me first congratulate you on the progress you've made. Having been through that, I know how hard it can be, so we have to celebrate each and every step forward. But don't just stop with saying you've been "EQ" free...or "UO" free or "AO" free...continue on with saying specifically how you and those closest to you are feeling about the 'new you.' Every little thing, no matter how insignificant it seems, needs to be congratulated. Are you walking around the block now in the afternoons for exercise when you didn't before? Are you eating healthier? Are you starting new hobbies...reviving old ones? Are you visiting with friends and family who were long left behind while you played hour after hour...day after day?

As I said in another post, one's 'healing' regimen is comprised of many more things than merely willpower to stay away from the game. It's important that you acknowledge each and every step forward...and let those here who are also walking the path of recovery, acknowledge those steps with you.

Become empowered by the control you are taking in your life. No one can take these steps for you, you must do them on your own...and in fact, you are doing it.

- When your mind taunts you to return to the game, think about where your life will be if you do return. Then focus on the things ahead.

- When you think that your life is a complete shambles and the game is all you have, bear in mind that each new day is a day of opportunity. You are the author of your own 'story.'

- When you are too tired to do things, or don't have energy, or that you have some other physical limitation preventing you from doing things you want to do, think about those famous individuals who have overcome their limitations to achieve greatness. There are always those who are more ill, more incapacitated, more at a disadvantage than you are. Are those people really any better than you are?

Remember that if your life has become a life of chaos, as mine had become, after years of heavy playing and avoiding responsibilities, that it did not happen overnight. Nor will your life turn to roses overnight. However, you will be amazed how quickly things will turn around...once you've decided that it's time for you to take control.

That decision is often the hardest part, but once you make that decision, your life can only get better. And focusing on all the small steps forward you make as you heal, will help you keep it real and help you see just how far you've come.

Whether you have a problem or not, whether you've begun dealing with it or not, or if you have been struggling with reclaiming your life, realize that right now..this second, as you read this, you are taking a fantastic step forward to better understanding yourselves and others who do have problems.

Those of us who have been there done that are here for you. If we've not walked directly in your shoes, and many of us have, we've certainly walked in similar ones. So don't hesitate to share what's on your mind or if you would like to speak to any of us directly or privately through email, just feel free to ask.

No pressures.

Again, congratulations on your steps forward, and may your journey of self-discovery and that of reclaiming your life, never cease. Remember that every situation can be made better or worse, merely by your perception of it. Did you backslide? Ask yourself what 'good' came of that. Yeah, it takes practice, but once you get in the habit of perceiving every situation in a positive light and finding that silver lining in every cloud, you won't believe how quickly your life can change for the better!

One day at a time!

Bright Blessings,

Ron

Ron Jaffe AKA Diggo McDiggity
Discussion Board Administrator
On-Line Gamers Anonymous

Edited by: Diggo McDiggity at: 4/22/04 1:34 pm