I just wanted to add a few points to the current flurry of "EQ is the cause" vs. "you are the cause" debates.
1. Clearly, EQ is not the cause. Diggo even admits this.
2. Clearly, EQ does happen to be the medium in which certain behavioral deficiencies manifest themselves. As such, those who are struggling with these behavioral deficiencies are bound to experience a severe dislike of that which--in their eyes--IS their problem. Much as the alcoholic has a love/hate relationship with his/her vice, so does the behaviorally addicted person have a love/hate relationship with his/her vice... be it EQ, sex, Diablo, online message boards, IRC, skateboarding, or what-have-you. So, when people say "the game did this to me"... don't take them literally. That is--in all likelihood--their love/hate relationship shining through. Now, that anti-gay person would be an exception, and I think we all can realize how out-of-touch he is (assuming it isn't just farce).
3. When people with these behavioral deficiencies need help, often all they need is a collective place where they can vent their frustrations--about their family, their situation, their life in general, their behavioral deficiency (be it addiction, escapist obsession, abject depression, etc.). The key point I want to make along these lines is this--if people don't feel "safe" from criticism, they will not speak up. They will refrain from opening up their hearts and minds, when they see throngs of people poised to laugh at them. The result? The effectiveness of the forum (in this case, this message board) is nullified.
So, how do you balance #1 and #3 above? For, if there are way too many voices of opposition (and corresponding lawsuits), then you end up neutralizing the medium without addressing the source (i.e. banning things like EQ, which does nothing to help borderline people who will just latch onto something else). This ends up ****ing off the multitudes of healthy people who gain genuine, balanced enjoyment from the medium (like myself). However, if there is truly no place for people to come and speak their minds in what they believe is a safe environment, then you may end up with more people doing drastic things as a result of their behavior problems since they have no place to vent.
So, I would echo Lelgolas' advice for people to look inward and not blame the medium. However, when anyone goes on about how "pathetic" people are for letting this game control their lives... I don't know. Maybe some people truly are helped by the "kick in the @ss" approach to therapy. However, I doubt it helps many people. Just my opinion.
When a mind feels safe, it can grow. See Maslow's hierarchy of needs for more information on this idea, if you're curious.
One of the dynamics I first identified when I started to become involved with this project was the fact that existing groups seemed to be drawing in many people who had problems, but few if any of these people were actually getting healed. We knew almost immediately, that this would have to be where this organization had to be different. The bottom line, if someone is not willing to commit to change, he or she won't change. And just wallowing around in self-pity with others serves no purpose than to keep the people in a defensive state of self-pity.
The challenge that we have, is that none of us are therapists, and admittedly the idea of online addiction (whether it exists and is for real or not, really isn't relevant) is still not really understood. I have contacted a number of colleges and organizations around the country, and so far a couple have expressed interest in studying online addiction, but none have, as of yet, taken us up on our offer.
Now I'll admit that I'm somewhat disappointed in how few of those coming here for help are actually actively working on improving their lives, but I attribute that mostly to a lack of commitment and to the fact that there really is no clear process for doing so, other than the existing 12-Step programs. I have actually started working on an alternate process which someday may help others as it has helped me, but that will take more time.
The danger with trying to maintain an organization like this is that if we allow both, the visitors seeking help and those who are volunteering, to become complacent to the point where no progress is made, then we end up doing more harm than good.
I can understand the passion that some EQ players have with this issue, but I am disappointed with the extent that they go to voice their opposition. They don't realize that this message board is reviewed regularly by media organizations who see this behavior and feel that maybe EQ or online games do have negative sides. Then before you know it, there is another media story and we are again swamped with people complaining, when it was their actions that prompted the story in the first place.
Liz's story fell out of favor with the media in about May of this year after a couple month blitz of stories and articles. Since then, she has done nothing to promote either her story or OLGAnon. It's been the EQ players themselves that have ironically, kept the fervor alive, along with the media, who some EQ players seem to think we control.
The issue is complex, our mission is not clear. Nor is the path that we should be taking. We are blazing trails and often get lost. But I think we are making progress. At least we are moving.
Ron
Ron Jaffe AKA Diggo McDiggity
eMail: eqaddict@cfl.rr.com
Discussion Board Administrator
Everquest player from July, 1999 to April, 2002
Over 4,900 Hours Played
Co-Founder of OLGA and member since 2002