Predators and gaming

When parents ask me if they should let their children play online games, I tell them that they are no place for children under 18. Legend has it that Willy Sutton once said he robbed banks because "That's where the money is." If I was a predator looking for small children, I would go to Club Penguin, and if I was looking for teenaged boys, I would go to WoW. It's as simple as that.

I've warned my kids about predators on the net, unfortunately a lot of parents don't explain anything to their kids... I have a friend who is 14 and her facebook profile was completely public and she was adding random people who would add her - people from all over the world. I got her to come over and I showed her how to make everything so only friends could see it, and I showed her, her younger sister and my kids a video about a 25 yr old model, Katie, who got together with a guy through there and when she broke it off he raped her and threatened to kill her and got his friend to throw sulphuric acid in her face. I posted the link to that story on my facebook a few months ago. I find it amazing that kids haven't been taught the dangers - and I cannot understand how parents not only let their kids do online gaming or social networking without warning them of the dangers or keeping an eye on their activities, but they actually let their kids have access to all this stuff IN THEIR BEDROOMS away from parents' observation. Never will my kids have even a tv in their room, let alone the internet. The PC is in the family room and I also have family safety which allows me to monitor every site they go to, I have control over what sites they can't visit and I have to be the one to add contacts to their msn. EVERY parent needs to have something like that.

For anyone interested, family safety is accessed (totally free) through windows live.

Catherine, if you haven't already, you should post that report on every social network site you're a member of. Parents and kids need to know what's out there.

I wonder if WoW and other type online games since they mainly attract boys that this problem isnt going to get the attention because most people arent as concerned about boys being lured or molested etc as they are worried about girls. It seems that after a boy turns 14 our society kind of turns them into a man/child and unless the pedophile hunting them down is a man it "appears" consensual , like somehow a woman cant be a pedophile predator? It is like they have the perfect cover to exploit and manipulate these boys. Most parents I know "say" things to their kids about safety, like "you dont know who you are talking to it could be a 500 pound man in where ever" but we dont see how subtle it can be. The computer is in full view in the living room or kitchen but they are typing and moving around so fast most parents cant keep up. I also believe even just the nature of texting and email has contributed to this. I think the game cant be held responsible. we parents should do what we can but I think we have to know this world has changed and we teach what we can and watch what we can. But I believe that every single pedophile caught should be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.

person wrote:

I wonder if WoW and other type online games since they mainly attract boys that this problem isnt going to get the attention because most people arent as concerned about boys being lured or molested etc as they are worried about girls. It seems that after a boy turns 14 our society kind of turns them into a man/child and unless the pedophile hunting them down is a man it "appears" consensual , like somehow a woman cant be a pedophile predator? It is like they have the perfect cover to exploit and manipulate these boys. Most parents I know "say" things to their kids about safety, like "you dont know who you are talking to it could be a 500 pound man in where ever" but we dont see how subtle it can be. The computer is in full view in the living room or kitchen but they are typing and moving around so fast most parents cant keep up. I also believe even just the nature of texting and email has contributed to this. I think the game cant be held responsible. we parents should do what we can but I think we have to know this world has changed and we teach what we can and watch what we can. But I believe that every single pedophile caught should be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.

There's a total difference between saying and teaching. Smart parents know a lot of the tricks these predators use, and they teach their kids all the tricks to be aware of, as well as to NEVER give out any personal information to anyone on the net. Luckily for me I have a very open relationship with my kids and they tell me a LOT. I won't say everything because my eldest is 15 and I know he has a crush on a girl at school but when it comes to strangers and internet stuff, they do tell me everything. On top of controlling the sites they can/cant go to and controlling who they add to msn, their conversations are saved and I know all their passwords and am able any time to go through their message history or their facebook or myspace accounts. They know I do this for their protection and they are really good about it. I've taught my kids a lot ever since they were little and have even taught other kids when their parents don't do it. The schools seem to get a lot of that responsibility and I think that's wrong - schools are to prepare them for work, parents are to prepare them for life. I don't think many parents care anymore. Also I think that if the kids don't have a relationship with their parents where they can talk to them or where the parent spends time with the child, of course the child will believe crap people feed them on the net. They haven't been told anything by the ones who brought them into the world, and they want to have a relationship with someone... and with pedophilia as bad as it is nowadays and people made aware through the news of things that have happened thanks to the net (for example, a 15 yr old girl in my city was lured by a teenage boy and his dad on facebook... they killed her down at the beach and it's still going through the court), parents must have some sort of mind set where if they don't tell the kids it won't happen. They should start thinking the opposite. It's more likely to happen to kids who are unaware. Pedophiles shouldn't just be prosecuted "to the full extent of the law"... they to be HUNG. No questions. Found guilty - HUNG. Too many get off with a few months jail, and too many get away scott free.

If a pedophile wants to find youngsters, they will using ANY means available...not just online games...not just social sites....but shopping malls, childrens clubs, playgrounds, skate parks, hang around schools, through family, their own children's friends, church...the list goes on and on.

I'm sure online sources are not solely to blame, although it does make things easier for someone to pretend to be younger and more appealing. There are apps as well to download that monitor and prevent adult sites being accessed by younger family members. Recently several online games ask for age verified ID before content will be released, and I do know many people who play online, will report underage players mainly because of the childrens' behaviour in there. BUT....do parents monitor all their children's activities...and the answer is NO.

At the moment, it is a fairly rare occurence so reportings do make the news, but sadly, like alot of other pedophilic crimes, it will soon just warrent a mention unless a dramatic story is attached to it. As with most pedophile activity, as modern technology advances, they will make use of it, be it online sites, cell phone cameras, web cams etc. The best defence is to educate your children and also spend time with them as well not using the internet as a babysitter.

Just as a quick reminder on this thread, we are starting to veer somewhat off the topics of recovery from gaming addiction, and support for the loved ones of those who are suffering. One way we keep things friendly and cordial on this board is by keeping our comments more or less confined to those subjects. We all have our disagreements on things like crime, parenting, the judicial system, and the like, but we will keep things much friendlier here by discussing them elsewhere.

Jane F.

Hi,

As a parent of two - boy 12, girl 13 (and an adopted girl 20) and a recovering addict, I have a huge concern and vested interest in this.

But I think we should not go overboard. If you speak to experts and law enforcement officials and look at actual statistics, you will find that the overwhelming majority of reported cases of child abuse is inflicted by someone well known to the victim and possibly a family member. Internet and gaming grooming makes for great headlines in the tabloids, but the reality is that its a small percentage.

No comfort if your child or loved one is a victim like marley0757's son, but I think we should make sure we dont lose the forest by seeing only trees.

- dark

The unique characteristic of this story is the use of virtual currency to 'buy' naked photos from underage boys. It used to be that pedophiles would use candy, porn or real cash to groom victims this age. Things are evolving and our concept of safety for kids also needs to evolve.