A terribly frustrating part of addiction is the feeling of being trapped and alone. You are out of control, you realize it, and still it seems impossible to get out of the situation. Every time you make the same mistake, again and again.
If this sounds familiar, then maybe you will want to listen to the below podcast. It is very informational, hopeful and helpful. The topic is "learned helplessness" and how it can have us trapped into believing that we will make the same mistake again and again. There is a way out.
https://youarenotsosmart.com/2016/12/23/yanss-091-revisiting-how-we-can-escape-the-psychological-trap-of-learned-helplessness/
"I want to see people and I want to see life."