Hi Mothball! I got free of my gaming addiction last April, before Destiny came out but I guess I view it no different than mmo's which I played hours and hours a day. In looking back, for me addiction increased as I moved from single player games to multiplayer to mmo's because the complexity/achievements/team involvement all increased making the games never ending and not get boring due to the massive amounts of achievement and rank to get and the difficulty level associated with it. As Xbox and Playstation and Nintendo and other consoles historically didn't have the complexities/true mmo stuff, most of these more never ending complex games have been on pc. Destiny was announced as Microsoft's Xbox first real mmo and so I've been watching the massive number of problems this is causing console gamers who, although they previously have had problems with excessive gaming, now are finding themselves having moved into addiction to gaming. As games on consoles, phones, and pc continue to grow in complexity and team interaction/responsibility to the team/guild/clan to be online for an event, raid, dungeoon, match for hours each single event I believe it's getting worse. What is it about this game for you personally that is giving you trouble? Why do you think it is addictive to you? I think if you can share that here it will help not only you but others.
Hi Lisa! Thank you so much for your reply. I'm not sure if I joined correctly, as it's not an addiction for myself, yet my spouse. Destiny happens to be the game-du-jour, however, I'm sure that will change when a couple of new games come out. Was looking to chat about the different online chatting capabilitites that is offered through this game now? Things just feel like theyre getting sketchy...when I walk into the room in the middle of the night and he quick signs out and rips off his headphones, and how his lingo and excitement and animation changes when there is supposedly a female gamer on his team. I mean- he's up all night online playing and chatting....There is no doubt he finds his 'life' in gaming. My issue happens to be maybe more in theinterpersonal/social aspect with gaming than with gaming alone I guess....as in I feel he is seeking female affection, adoration and attention..especially now with 'party chat'. Ever since the 'party chat' and having to be in a 'team'...it seems like his life doesn't start until he's online playing with others.
What's mmo? And I feel that you couldn't be more correct when you state that the addiction grows 'when complexity and team interaction/responsibility to the team/guild/clan to be online for an event, raid, dungeoon, match'.
In relation to his voice chat behaviours I could see it being two things.
1. He actually is sneaking around online.
or
2. He's embarrased or possibly ashamed about the behaviour of talking to people 'online' when you're around. This will depend on how you express your feelings to him about his gaming. Most complex games today have voice chat so it's nothing that new. Speaking from my experience I know when I had many of my 'non gamer' friends around and they saw me playing games I would be self conscious of using voice chat because I didnt want them to see me as 'too nerdy.' So I would just turn it off and play without it. Having played Destiny in the past it's also one of the games where you could easily get away without voice chat too. So this may be a similar reaction he is having.
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The sooner you hit bottom, the faster you surface.
Thank you for your comment, BKLounge:) It really helps to hear different ideas of online chatting behavior. I never thought about #2 before your post- which makes sense. I definately think, however, in this circumstance, it is most definately more like #1. He chats online while gaming in front of me all the time and is very comfortable with it.
I just recently tried to discuss my concerns about not being very comfortable with him using party chat with unknown girls in the middle of the night. It was a bust. Oh sure- I factor in the 'normal relationship' mechanisms of discussing such things...but it seems as though, this is a step beyond that. After I opened up to how I was feeling about this certain component of his gaming, he became absoLUTEly enraged, defensive and began putting me down. It became apparent that he was employing ever tool possible to protect his game and his party chat- with absolutely no concern for my thoughts, feelings or concerns.
I support him in enjoying some game time- however, it IS excessive- especiallly with Destiny. However, he KNOWS that I have 'given up' on that point and now am only concerned with the chatting. But, he seems hellbent on defending his utilization of party chat- no matter my concerns- and seemingly puts the game and party chat over my concerns.
I do have a simple logistics question if anyone knows the answer....if someone is playing alone- as in not playing with someone else online....are they still able to USE the party chat with another online gamer? Or does the gamer literally HAVE to be joined in that game?
I'm sorry to hear about your on going issues, hearing his reactions is very reminiscent of behaviour me and my brother would display to our mother whenever she would try to get our attention for little things such as getting groceries, or coming down to eat dinner. Much of the reaction is unwarranted anger due to the possibility of being pulled away from what makes you happy and looking back on it really makes me realize how our behaviour is affected by this.
But I can shed light on your last question. This answer will vary based on the platform youre using (xbox, pc, PS4 etc) but in this case Ill keep my focus on Destiny and XboxOne chat. You have the ability to chat with basically any person that you've had contact with in any game (recent players), people you've added on to your friendslist, or have access to their username (which you can than search their username and add them as a friend or to chat).
The chat client itself is sepereate from the game, so you could be chatting with all of your friends in essentially a chat party, and each person could be playing a different game. It's no different then something like Skype on your computer. The only real factor is that they have to invite those people to the actual chat.
There is also in-game chat which automatically will allow those who are playing together in the same game to communicate with each other. The only real requirement here is the person has their mic plugged in.
Hope this helps, please feel free to ask any other questions that may help you understand this further and best of luck!
—
The sooner you hit bottom, the faster you surface.
Hi Mothball! I got free of my gaming addiction last April, before Destiny came out but I guess I view it no different than mmo's which I played hours and hours a day. In looking back, for me addiction increased as I moved from single player games to multiplayer to mmo's because the complexity/achievements/team involvement all increased making the games never ending and not get boring due to the massive amounts of achievement and rank to get and the difficulty level associated with it. As Xbox and Playstation and Nintendo and other consoles historically didn't have the complexities/true mmo stuff, most of these more never ending complex games have been on pc. Destiny was announced as Microsoft's Xbox first real mmo and so I've been watching the massive number of problems this is causing console gamers who, although they previously have had problems with excessive gaming, now are finding themselves having moved into addiction to gaming. As games on consoles, phones, and pc continue to grow in complexity and team interaction/responsibility to the team/guild/clan to be online for an event, raid, dungeoon, match for hours each single event I believe it's getting worse. What is it about this game for you personally that is giving you trouble? Why do you think it is addictive to you? I think if you can share that here it will help not only you but others.
Hugs, Lisa Video game free since 4/17/2014
Hi Lisa! Thank you so much for your reply. I'm not sure if I joined correctly, as it's not an addiction for myself, yet my spouse. Destiny happens to be the game-du-jour, however, I'm sure that will change when a couple of new games come out. Was looking to chat about the different online chatting capabilitites that is offered through this game now? Things just feel like theyre getting sketchy...when I walk into the room in the middle of the night and he quick signs out and rips off his headphones, and how his lingo and excitement and animation changes when there is supposedly a female gamer on his team. I mean- he's up all night online playing and chatting....There is no doubt he finds his 'life' in gaming. My issue happens to be maybe more in theinterpersonal/social aspect with gaming than with gaming alone I guess....as in I feel he is seeking female affection, adoration and attention..especially now with 'party chat'. Ever since the 'party chat' and having to be in a 'team'...it seems like his life doesn't start until he's online playing with others.
What's mmo? And I feel that you couldn't be more correct when you state that the addiction grows 'when complexity and team interaction/responsibility to the team/guild/clan to be online for an event, raid, dungeoon, match'.
Destiny is a name that has come up quite a lot here recently.
There is a search box at the bottom of each page which may help you find keywords in posts on this forum
mmo: massively multiplayer online game
They are known to be more addictive than regular " old school" video games because the way they connect literally thousands of people to a game.
INFO
Help for gamers here
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Thank you Polga! Your information has proven very valuable. I have found many sources for Destiny conversation.
Yes- it seems that the newer games can be much more addictive.
In relation to his voice chat behaviours I could see it being two things.
1. He actually is sneaking around online.
or
2. He's embarrased or possibly ashamed about the behaviour of talking to people 'online' when you're around. This will depend on how you express your feelings to him about his gaming. Most complex games today have voice chat so it's nothing that new. Speaking from my experience I know when I had many of my 'non gamer' friends around and they saw me playing games I would be self conscious of using voice chat because I didnt want them to see me as 'too nerdy.' So I would just turn it off and play without it. Having played Destiny in the past it's also one of the games where you could easily get away without voice chat too. So this may be a similar reaction he is having.
The sooner you hit bottom, the faster you surface.
Thank you for your comment, BKLounge:) It really helps to hear different ideas of online chatting behavior. I never thought about #2 before your post- which makes sense. I definately think, however, in this circumstance, it is most definately more like #1. He chats online while gaming in front of me all the time and is very comfortable with it.
I just recently tried to discuss my concerns about not being very comfortable with him using party chat with unknown girls in the middle of the night. It was a bust. Oh sure- I factor in the 'normal relationship' mechanisms of discussing such things...but it seems as though, this is a step beyond that. After I opened up to how I was feeling about this certain component of his gaming, he became absoLUTEly enraged, defensive and began putting me down. It became apparent that he was employing ever tool possible to protect his game and his party chat- with absolutely no concern for my thoughts, feelings or concerns.
I support him in enjoying some game time- however, it IS excessive- especiallly with Destiny. However, he KNOWS that I have 'given up' on that point and now am only concerned with the chatting. But, he seems hellbent on defending his utilization of party chat- no matter my concerns- and seemingly puts the game and party chat over my concerns.
I do have a simple logistics question if anyone knows the answer....if someone is playing alone- as in not playing with someone else online....are they still able to USE the party chat with another online gamer? Or does the gamer literally HAVE to be joined in that game?
I'm sorry to hear about your on going issues, hearing his reactions is very reminiscent of behaviour me and my brother would display to our mother whenever she would try to get our attention for little things such as getting groceries, or coming down to eat dinner. Much of the reaction is unwarranted anger due to the possibility of being pulled away from what makes you happy and looking back on it really makes me realize how our behaviour is affected by this.
But I can shed light on your last question. This answer will vary based on the platform youre using (xbox, pc, PS4 etc) but in this case Ill keep my focus on Destiny and XboxOne chat. You have the ability to chat with basically any person that you've had contact with in any game (recent players), people you've added on to your friendslist, or have access to their username (which you can than search their username and add them as a friend or to chat).
The chat client itself is sepereate from the game, so you could be chatting with all of your friends in essentially a chat party, and each person could be playing a different game. It's no different then something like Skype on your computer. The only real factor is that they have to invite those people to the actual chat.
There is also in-game chat which automatically will allow those who are playing together in the same game to communicate with each other. The only real requirement here is the person has their mic plugged in.
Hope this helps, please feel free to ask any other questions that may help you understand this further and best of luck!
The sooner you hit bottom, the faster you surface.