Hello, it was suggested to me that I start a progress report.A,A So here it is.
May 25, 2007 - Day 0
I deleted all of my WoW toons, canceled my subscription, uninstalled the game and tossed the disks in the trash.A,A I went to bed at the nice early hour of 10:30 PM.
May 26, 2007 - Day 1
I woke up feeling great!A,A I decided I did not wait 4 more days for the trash pickup, so I took my trash with the WoW disks and books to the dump.A,A As an added bonus I decide to also throw out all my other RPGs and *blushes* porn as well.A,A I remember binging on all of these items at one point or another, so I have decided that they too no longer have a place with me in my life.
It took a game like WoW for me to realize how powerless I am to RP Video games and porn.A,A I thought I had control of my usage of these materials, but I was never in control.A,A Before WoW I would binge on a game until I beat it and then move on.A,A However, WoW is designed to keeping you playing it.A,A A,A In WoW there is no end, there is no way to win by playing it.A,A You win WoW by deleting it.A,A A,A
My wife is totally shocked that I have thrown all these items out.A,A She has seen me struggle / binge / be-in-denial with these materials before.A,A I was a gamer when her and I met, and she has been more than patient with me.A,A I am so grateful for my relationship with her.A,A God knows I have not made it easy on her.A,A
I am sorry honey.A,A
Anyway, I am so sure that quiting WoW was the right thing to do.A,A I have found some peace of mind already.A,A I have accepted that I am powerless to controll myself when playing RP video games.
WoW free since December 28, 2009
That's a good one, Charlie. Congrats on quitting.
"Small service is true service while it lasts. Of humblest friends, bright creature! scorn not one
The daisy, by the shadow that it casts,
Protects the lingering dewdrop from the sun." -------William Wordsworth
Wow (no pun intended) that's great. Are you sure you are not feeling tired and sleepy and grouchy? Seems to me that so many here have reported feeling tired after getting off the game. Good luck and I hope you keep us posted about how you are filling all that new found time.
Congratulations Charlies! It is awesome that you have gotten rid of all your games and porn. I strongly recommend that you make the effort to find other hobbies/activities to fill the time you used to spend playing games. I have discovered that my longing to go back is much stronger when I am unoccupied. Look for support in your wife and friends and keep coming back. Your story will bring courage to those before you and the many to come after you. Kathy
Recovering WOW Addict
Very good Charlie!! I like how you have such a supportive wife ~ that will prove extremely helpful! Keep up the good work!! Love, Solei
-6 Years Free of Online Gaming-
One day at a time. May 27, 2007
Today I got to say that I was sorry. I have a 16 year old friend who helps me with home improvement stuff. Together we figure things out. Usually we successfully complete whatever task it is that we attempted. Today this friend came over help me cut my lawn. He plays video games, and we sometimes talk about our gaming experience together. Since I am in the mist of a tremendous change I just had to share with him that I threw out all my RPGs. While we were talking, I remembered how we used to get together on Monday evenings to play guitar together. We spent a good half year jamming away every Monday evening, until in February 2006, when I discovered that Star Wars Battlefront could be easily played on-line. Suddenly I was having trouble making the time to jam with my friend. I eventually told him that we had to take a break. Today I told him that I stopped playing guitar with him because I was playing a FPS game on line. Wow, I really felt bad, and I apologized to him. I then remembered that I still had all the FPS games in the house and I asked him if he wanted to help me destroy them all. We spent the next 30 minutes cutting up the Cd's to 20 plus games. It felt great. I now have only three computer games remaining, MLB 06 (the year the Red Soxs won the world series), Madden 2006 (the year the Patriots won the Superbowl) and my Ages of Empires III. The two sporting games I do not play, and the AOE III I am still wondering about. Anyways, I remembered that my WoW addiction started with a free Demo from PC Gamer magazine, and I had over 50 demos from that magazine. So I grabbed all the demos and threw the boring ones into the trash, and cut up all the RPGs and MMORPGs. I also decided now was a good time to throw out all my PC Gamer and PC Accelerator magazines as well. It felt amazing cutting up the disks and recycling all the paper products. My huge 100 gallon (*just a guess to its size) recycle bin is nearly 2/3rds full. My friend was very understanding and we decided to start playing guitar again on Mondays. Later, I invited my best friend over for dinner today. Unfortunately, I have not been such a good friend of his this past year. I expect he will be here in about an hour or so. I plan on apologizing to him tonight as well. He is a great guy and I know he will be happy for me. I think that I have said I am sorry to my wife at least 20 times today. I am so grateful she stood by me. She is still in shock that I have begun my no gaming crusade. Truth be told, so am I, but I know with ever ounce of my being that this is the right thing to do. Everyday I have been spending some time in the morning and evening at www.wowdetox.com and at this site. I am extremely grateful for these resources. Thank you for making this website available. Charles
WoW free since December 28, 2009
Good for you Charles. That's a lot of progress for one day.
"Small service is true service while it lasts. Of humblest friends, bright creature! scorn not one
The daisy, by the shadow that it casts,
Protects the lingering dewdrop from the sun." -------William Wordsworth
Charlie!! So proud of you! I understand about apologizing to your loved ones several times... I still even apologize to my husband, even though I quit months ago. It's still a scar, and probably will be for sometime. :-) Best of luck! Love, Solei
-6 Years Free of Online Gaming-
Wednesday, 5/30/07
So far, so good.A I suppose I have been a little drowsy and a little grumpy, but nothing extreme.A It has been six days since I last played WoW and I do feel as if I am seeing the world with more clarity.A I am hearing more sounds, seeing more colors, and enjoying more fragrances.A A It is shocking how much of the real world I was tuning out just soA I could focus on a video game. One of the great things about quitting WoW is that I am getting a full nights sleep now.A I mostly played WoW at night when my family was in bed and I would stay up way too late and practically be a zombie for most of the following day.A I am so glad that irresponsible habit is ending.A My children deserve a father who is alert, rested and ready to play with them.A To my children who are too young to completely understand my words, I wish to say that "I am so sorry that I was cheating you out of your play time with Daddy.A Daddy has stopped playing his video game and now goes to bed at a decent hour.A Daddy is rested and ready to play with you both." Good night everybody *yawns*
WoW free since December 28, 2009
Great progress Charles, you are an inspiration !!! :D
That is so sweet ~ especially your messages to your children. They're lucky to have you! Oh, I remember the first full night's sleep that I got when I first quit WoW! Isn't it awesome not raiding until 2 AM and catching the news on TV before you sleep??? Love, Solei
-6 Years Free of Online Gaming-
Good for you and I'm sure the kids are happier for time with their dad.
It has been a week since I destroyed all my WoW characters and I feel pretty good. Well, actually I have been sort of grumpy this past week, although today I do feel pretty good. I am embarrassed that I am still mentally obsessed with WoW. I supposed playing all that time really scrambled my mind pretty good these past 13 months. I have fully accepted my powerlessness to video games, and now I am ready to work on the 2nd step. I believe I am going to need Divine help to get my mind unscrambled. I do not want to obsess about WoW all day like I still do. I need Divine help to regain my ability to focus on non-WoW topics. I need Divine help to improve my ability to stay focused at work. I so very much want to have my ability to focus back. I will feel so much better about myself once I regain the ability to stay focused.
WoW free since December 28, 2009
Hang in there Charlie. My son finally got his ability to focus back. Just got 3 A's and a B in junior college, one year after he last played WoW, and 6 months after he last played any video game. It seems to take forever, but it does come back. Be patient. You're on the right track.
"Small service is true service while it lasts. Of humblest friends, bright creature! scorn not one
The daisy, by the shadow that it casts,
Protects the lingering dewdrop from the sun." -------William Wordsworth
That is fabulous news ;D
WoW free since December 28, 2009
That's great Gamersmom. Charlie, my daughter seems to be regaining some of her old self since she stopped the game. I am hoping her grades improve.
2 Weeks without WoW *sigh* I feel angry.A Angry at what?A Perhaps the state in which I find things around me.A I see there is much to be done to improve myself, my home and my family.A Perhaps this is a good thing.A Perhaps it means that I am thinking less about a game and more about real life and why I had chosen to hide from it for a long. I was hiding partly even before WoW.A Before WoW there was Morrowind, Neverwinter Nights and a bunch of others. I feel scared.A Scared that I may have damaged things beyond repair.A *sigh* I have a lot of work to do.A I am praying for the courage to do it all better this time.A I am praying not to be angry any more.A I feel frustrated.A I feel out of shape.A I feel happy not to be gaming.A I feel relief that I did not screw up everything beyond repair. I am trying not to hide anymore.A It is difficult to stay in the moment during those uncomfortable times.A Sometimes I do successfully stay there, some times my mind wanders dreaming of a fantasy world since past. I wish I could stop thinking about WoW.A WoW still dances in and out of my thoughts, promising me a sweet release from it all.A This is quite mad, but it is my current state of mind.A I do believe I am spending less time thinking about WoW. I am disappointed that when I was originally thinking about trying WoW that I ignored the warnings that many posters at Amazon.com had written.A Some called it "World of Warcrack" and I remember laughing when I read that. *sigh* I had a crazy WoW driven dream the other night.A I dreamed 5 WoW players with level 70 characters each summoned the head of a Hydra and together created a huge beast.A Another character of almost terrible status was on a flying shadow dragon patrolling around looking for me.A This world of Azeroth which fit neatly into a large room, had an island in a lake surrounded by rolling mountains.A The shadow dragon was soaring around and I was running.A A I was with the Wiggles and we were hoping from tiny rock to tiny rock trying to get off the island without being seen by the Hydra, the 5 WoW Toons or the dragon. I did enjoy that dream. *sigh* I feel grumpy.A I need to find the courage, time and energy to start fixing things. Two weeks without WoW.
WoW free since December 28, 2009
I wonder if these sleep disturbances and dreams are common to those getting off WoW. I know my daughter had been having them. I'm not sure if she still is. Hang in there. She seems to be getting back to more of who she was.
Over two months since I last played WOW and I still do occasionally have dreams about the game.... They are not as frequent or intense, but they are still there.
Your brain really, really wants that gaming rush, the superintense highs that come with the big score. Enough to give you vivid dreams. Enough to lie to you about it. We've been there, enough to know that you might still have a dream about it every now and again for years. But its what you do, right now, in the face of these lies, even one of your own making, that determine the person you are. So far, you're doing fine. Give yourself credit. :|
Leveling in Real Life
My 3rd week was rough.A I felt broken for most of it.A I did recognize that visiting the WoW Forum pages was stallling my recovery, so I have stopped visiting them.A I also found myself so overwhelmed by all the things that I had previously neglected and still needed to do.A Literally I spent the past weekend in bed, unable or unwilling to move :'(.A A It was at this moment I found prayer and a little bit later, peace.A A Sometime during that third week I also had a dream that I was playing WoW.A I woke up furious and really upset.A It took me a while to realize that it was just a dream and I that I had not actually played the game.A It really was a tough week for me. As I approach my 4th week WoW free and my 1st week WoW Forums free, I am happy to report that WoW no longer haunts my thoughts.A I am regaining my ability to stay focused on other things, like for example my job.A I feel so relieved 8).A I am really starting to feel whole again.A I am no longer obsessed with WoW anymore.A I now find that if a WoW thought starts to surface in mind, I am able to gently reject it and push it out of my active consciousness.A I really am healing and I feel so grateful.
WoW free since December 28, 2009
That's great Charlie! Good for you!
"Small service is true service while it lasts. Of humblest friends, bright creature! scorn not one
The daisy, by the shadow that it casts,
Protects the lingering dewdrop from the sun." -------William Wordsworth
I have been WOW free for close to 3 months now and I am still overwhelmed list of 'need to dos'. People often tease me about staying in bed most of the day (because of my laptop) and I usually manage to come up with some excuse why I am there. But, the real reason is that I think about everything that I have to do and get crippled by being overwhelmed. This week is my first real week of being able to get past all that needs to be done and work on bits and pieces at a time. Just like the saying "One day at a time" works for staying away from the games, "One thing at a time" works for getting long list of to dos done. I am glad you are feeling better now. Just remember to forgive yourself the small setbacks and cheer on the successes!
[size=14] Charlie, A lot of people say 30 days game free is a magic number for starting to feel yourself again... Keep hanging in there, it gets easier as you go. [/size]
[size=14] The simple answer, and it really is this simple, is DO NOT EVER look at the whole pile of what you have to do. Just look at the very fist little thing. Do one little thing, and when that is done do another. If any one task in the pile seems to big, break that down to smaller ones and just work on it little bits at a time. Trust me this will work with anything. Home, work no matter. I guarantee you if you follow this, you will get MORE done faster than you realize. And feel good about it :) [/size]
" ... don't question it just go" "... where the body goes the mind will follow"
.
Borrowed from "Desire to Stop"
Agree BigH. Even we non-gamers can get overwhelmed by the list of things we have to do. I find it useful to make lists and try to check things off as I get them done. I'm not compulsive about it but found that I got away from doing so as we dealt with our daughter's issues. I'm trying to get back to that and will make my list for the rest of the day as soon as I finish reading and responding here. I also try to categorize my list --work related, home related, and volunteer related. I'm feeling exhausted just thinking about it! Got to move along now.
;D One month yesterdayA ;D I am feeling so much better.A I have been focusing really well at my job and my productivity and personal satisfaction are way up!!! I am following the adivice of BigH501 and approaching big tasks as if they were a group of many smaller tasks. This approach has been very helpful, thank you BigH501. I now say a few small prayers each day.A Basically I thank my higher power for helping me to be healthy and game free yesterday, and I ask my higherpwer to help me to be healthy and game free today.A I am not a religious person, but this is helping me.
WoW free since December 28, 2009
Congratulations! You are doing so well. What you are describing so well in your posts is what I see my son keep being pulled into his game. Unfortunately he doesn't seem to have the resolve to stop. I am going to ask him if he has dreams about it. I am helped in getting through the "piles" of unfinished tasks by picking one to just start on, and not let myself procrastinate with "wasters". Remember you will need down time still, but have it be short segment activities that you won't get sucked into, or can put down. You have to figure what that would be. Of course having little kids brings you a "retreat" time that is productive too. Do a not fun task then reward with play time with the kids! For others it might be gardening etc. I will do an hour of onerous take home work, then just get up and fill the birdfeeder. The more productive but fun breaks you find, the less likely you will just "Veg". (which is okay also in limited doses).
"a mind is a terrible thing to waste"
Congrats and the longer away from the game, the better you will feel. Seems that way with my daughter.
[size=14] You are very welcome Charlie. I am glad my advice has helped. Congrats and Keep up the good work !!! [/size]
" ... don't question it just go" "... where the body goes the mind will follow"
.
Borrowed from "Desire to Stop"
I will have been WoW free 2 months in 2 days and I am feeling great. I just finished reading the 7th Harry Potter book. What a fabulous read. I eagerly await the audio book as read by Jim Dale which should be out by the end of next week. I have listened to the audio books for the previous six books and they are fabulous. They are great to have playing in the back ground when I am working on repetitive tasks or driving long distances. Book 5 is probably my favorite of the seven I will have to experience book 7 at least one more time, and at a much more leasurely pace (the audio book is perfect for this) before I can truly decide how it will rank. I was not crazy about the second Harry Potter movie and the directors artistic liberties (such as Harry falling out of the flying car) but I truly did enjoy Dobbie and Gilderoy Lockhart. The 2nd book is so much better than the 2nd movie. The first, third and fifth movies were fabulous. I believe the fifth movie to be the best so far. I read the first book in English and Spanish. I read the 2nd, 3rd and 4th book only in Spanish. I only listened to the audio book of the fifth story, and I have read the 6th and 7th books only in English so far. Harry Potter Harry Potter Harry Potter Harry Potter *Lol And I am almost 2 month game free.
WoW free since December 28, 2009
Hi Charlie, congratulations on your (almost) 2 months game free! I am a bit more than two months game free now and I actually considered to use some of my last money this month on the new Harry Potter book. As it is now, I have been working 9-22 almost every day during what should have been my holiday ... well, I have fun with my work, but some pure relaxation would be nice ... and Harry would help me improve my english a bit ;) (since the translations in danish or german are not yet available). I liked the other books so Im sure this one is nice. Keep up the good work, best lifeislife
[size=14]
Congrats on 2 mos for both of you :) I picked up the new Harry Potter, but I am going to try to "enjoy" the book at a slower pace if I can ;) [/size]
" ... don't question it just go" "... where the body goes the mind will follow"
.
Borrowed from "Desire to Stop"
Both my kids have been engrossed in that book (more non-gaming daughter than gamer daughter). We'll go see the movie that's out later on this week. Were supposed to go last night but everyone was too tired.